There is a great quote by Yogi Berra that goes,
If you don't know where you're going,
You'll end up someplace else.
And this is really great advice for goals in the external world,
For the material world,
That if you don't know where you're going,
If you don't have a plan for your road trip,
For your holiday,
For your business,
For your career,
That you will end up someplace else.
This is good advice.
But for the spiritual world,
The advice would be just the opposite.
If you think you know where you're going,
You will end up someplace else.
Because in imagining what we think enlightenment,
Nirvana,
Awakening is,
In imagining what we think it is,
We turn it into a thing.
We turn it into something to attain,
Something to get,
Something to grasp at.
And so we take the same mind,
The grasping mind that has caused us so much suffering our entire lives,
Where we have endlessly searched for validation and approval and praise and success and material objects and relationships,
Endlessly seeking to add things onto ourselves,
Grasping at these things,
And at the same time,
Pushing away anything unworthy,
Anything unlovable about me,
Anything unperfect about me.
All of this grasping,
The cause of suffering,
Right?
The same mind state reinvents itself into a spiritual seeker.
It makes enlightenment,
Nirvana,
Awakening into something that we can grasp at.
And so there is a,
It's a very subtle and yet a profound difference between seeking on the spiritual path and seeing on the spiritual path.
So when we're seeking,
It's something out there.
It's something in front of me.
It's something in the future.
It's a thing for me to attain.
It's something for me to grasp at.
But when we're seeing,
Seeing is in the present moment.
Seeing is bringing our attention inwards.
Seeing is seeing the grasping that's happening right now.
So that in seeing the grasping,
Unwinding it and revealing what was always here,
Not that this was something that wasn't a part of us,
But revealing what it is that's here.
And in this way,
When we see instead of seek,
We get where we want to go,
Where we intended to go in the first place.
And so I want to go through some examples,
Some examples that will resonate,
Some that may not be as familiar,
But different ways in which we turn into seekers on the spiritual path instead of seeing.
Because this is a really,
It's the difference between ending up where we wanted to end up and ending up somewhere completely,
Entirely different.
So one of the more common ways that I hear a lot and have definitely been uttered out of this mouth in the past,
I won't be able to be enlightened in this time,
In this lifetime.
For me,
It's going to be the next lifetime.
Imagining that in some way,
Because enlightenment is out there as a thing,
And that I've started too late in life,
I'm too old,
I'm not disciplined enough,
I don't have the right conditions,
That somehow I'm unworthy of getting over there to enlightenment.
And it seems like such an innocuous,
Just an innocuous statement,
Even maybe a little bit humble.
Yeah,
You know,
Not for me this lifetime.
But what we are doing when we say that,
In fact,
What we are revealing is that we are a spiritual seeker instead of seeing.
And we are fueling that grasping mind and missing the grasping that is happening in this moment,
Preventing us from waking up in this moment.
The only moment we can wake up in is this moment.
So the grasping mind just in this belief that I can't become enlightened in this lifetime,
That I set it up as enlightenment being out there,
And in my unworthiness,
Focusing,
Grasping at my unworthiness,
Because a telltale sign of grasping,
I'm either adding on to myself in some way,
Or I'm pushing away that which I deem is unworthy,
That which is unspiritual,
Undisciplined.
And because we're so focused on that grasping at that,
Yeah,
I'm not worthy,
I'm not disciplined enough,
It's not going to happen for me,
We miss entirely the grasping.
We're so on to the grasping of the chocolate cake,
Of the latte,
Of the holiday,
Of the new car,
We don't even notice when that same grasping mind reinvents itself as a spiritual seeker.
Or when we have a mindless moment.
We all have mindless moments.
I doubt anyone here is mindful 24 hours a day,
Seven days a week.
It's just not how the path works.
So we all have mindless moments,
That moment where we're just feeling a little bit irritated,
We're feeling just feeling a little bit irritated,
We're feeling a little bit angry,
We're feeling a little bit down,
Or maybe you're irritated with your partner,
Or your colleague,
Or your boss,
Right?
We have a little moment.
And while we see the grasping,
Right?
We go,
Oh,
Look what I'm doing,
I'm grasping at this.
We'll see it,
But it almost instantaneously goes right back into seeking.
In that,
See,
Look,
Again,
You're so far away from enlightenment,
You keep having these mindless moments,
You're so far away from it,
Setting it up as something to seek.
Instead of seeing the initial grasping,
Being mindful for the seeking to come back in,
Grasping in another way and go,
And I see you there as well too.
It doesn't matter that I had a mindless moment.
That's not the problem.
It's the coming in and recognizing,
Yeah,
There was some anger here,
Or from the,
I'm not going to be enlightened in this time,
Lifetime.
Ah,
There's some unworthiness here.
Yeah,
Feel this.
We talked about last week,
Right?
Really feeling our feelings.
Yeah,
It's okay.
Unworthiness,
It's okay that you're here.
It's okay that you hear anger.
It's okay that you hear irritation.
Being with our feelings,
Right?
Releasing us from the grasping when we're with our feelings and then investigating what's happening.
And in doing that,
The grasping falls away and reveals what was always here.
And we're waking up in this moment,
The only moment we can wake up is this moment.
It doesn't matter that we had a mindless moment 60 seconds ago,
And that we might have another one in five minutes.
That doesn't matter.
If you're awake in this moment,
You are seeing in this moment,
You are likely to end up where you want to be.
In fact,
You are exactly where you want to be in this moment.
And so,
While these are some examples of how we want to take away in the grasping,
Like,
I don't want the unworthiness,
I don't want the mindless moment,
I don't want the anger,
I don't want the irritation,
All of those things,
The adding on is where we also spend a lot of time in spirituality.
In spirituality,
The adding on,
If I can just look more spiritual,
Right?
If I could just,
You know,
I could do my hair in a different way,
I could do my makeup differently,
Or I could not wear makeup at all,
Right?
Because I want to be more spiritual,
I want to wear the right kind of clothing,
I want to have all the right kind of accessories and beads that really,
Really show how spiritual I am to myself.
And so we grasp,
We spend a lot of time shopping for spiritual items,
Thinking that we are a spiritual seer when all we are doing is seeking.
Because if we think that I can look more spiritual,
If we think that's what spirituality is,
I'm turning it into a thing,
It's something out there.
I don't have the right look now,
But if I just change my top,
Then I'll have the right look,
Right?
We're again,
We're making it something outside of us.
And I know,
As I was preparing this talk,
I was looking around my house at all of the spiritual items that I have here,
The thangkas,
The buddha statues that I've accumulated over decades.
And I looked at them,
And I was really going back to remember,
Remembering some of these things when I bought them.
And when I bought that thangka behind me in India in 2009,
There was grasping in that thangka.
That thangka was going to make me enlightened.
And I look at the other statues and the other paintings and images,
And I'm like,
I go back and I could remember,
I'm like,
Yep,
There was grasping in that,
There was grasping in that too.
And while I'm not suggesting that any of us throw out our spiritual clothing,
Or the symbols,
The statues,
The paintings,
The thangkas,
I'm not suggesting any of us throw this out,
Because if we're throwing it out,
Now I'm going to the other side.
Oh,
I was adding it all on to become spiritual,
Because I'm a spiritual seeker.
And now,
And now in that same vein,
Now I'm saying,
Oh,
If I take it all away,
Then I'm enlightened.
No,
It's not to take all of this,
It's not to then say,
Oh,
I've got to throw all this stuff out.
It's not to say that at all.
But it's to acknowledge,
Oh yeah,
That was bought with a grasping mind,
I can see it now,
I can see it.
And there's nothing wrong with appreciating the beauty of having these things and appreciating them,
As long as we understand,
None of these things brought me enlightenment.
And so maybe the next time that we're shopping and we find ourselves in a market or a shop,
And maybe there is some nice flowy spiritual clothing,
And I do find,
If anything,
On the spiritual path,
We do tend to lend towards more comfortable clothing.
So maybe you find some,
There's some really flowy tops or pants or something,
And you think,
Oh,
This looks quite nice.
But you start to get into that chasing mind again,
Right?
Oh,
See,
Seeing,
Oh,
Seeing it,
Oh,
Here it is,
This top may be lovely,
It's not going to bring me enlightenment.
And the path that I'm on is seeing,
Not seeking.
And so just in that moment,
In the shop,
Look,
Oh,
Feel it,
Right?
What we think that feels so good,
The spiritual seeking,
The grasping,
We think it feels so good,
But then we come in and we feel it,
And we go,
Actually,
That doesn't feel very good at all.
And so we breathe into it,
And we feel a sense of spaciousness being with it,
We're not pushing it away,
And we're just,
This is grasping.
I was really thinking this top was going to bring me enlightenment.
When I wear this top,
I'll feel so enlightened,
Right?
All I'm doing is fueling the grasping mind,
Right?
And in seeing that,
We are waking up in this moment,
The only place we can wake up in this moment.
And it doesn't mean that you,
Maybe you still buy the top,
No problem.
Like we don't want to make it this kind of extreme one end to the other,
But now you're buying it because maybe it is a nice price.
You know,
It's like,
This is a good price,
I do need a new top,
Right?
No problem,
Go ahead and buy it.
With the wisdom of knowing that this top will not bring me enlightenment,
So I'm not fueling the grasping,
I'm not fueling the seeking,
I am seeing.
I am seeing instead.
I am waking up in this moment.
This is where I want to be.
And then another very,
Very tricky place where we do this,
Where we add on is knowledge,
Is information.
And this is tricky because we do need a certain amount of information,
We need pointers,
We need dharma talks,
We need spiritual books,
Dharma books,
We need the teachings,
And yet we grasp at the teachings,
Right?
Where we start,
You know,
Maybe you're sitting,
You know,
It's a Saturday morning,
You're sitting and reading your dharma book,
And then you think,
Oh,
It's time for a walk,
And you put the dharma book down,
And in that same moment,
You are already reaching for your headset to listen to the audio book,
A different spiritual book on your audio,
And then walking around listening to that dharma talk,
And then perhaps thinking,
Oh no,
It's time to get to my live,
My sangha call,
Racing back home to take in more information again.
And so we're constantly just bringing in information,
Knowledge,
We're not balancing it out,
We're taking in too much information,
Too much knowledge,
Because we're not going to be enlightened in the dharma talk,
We're not going to be enlightened in the book.
There might be something there in the talk or in the book that gives us an insight.
Fantastic!
Now give yourself some space for that insight to really bloom,
To become,
To further the awakening inside,
To help us see,
Not to say,
Oh,
This insight was great,
Now let me pick up another book,
Or oh,
I loved this book by this author,
I had the insight,
Now let me order the next five books,
Grasping,
Taking that insight,
And just,
You know,
Letting it just float away,
Because we didn't give it the space that we needed.
Right?
It's like,
How insane would it sound for us to say,
Oh,
I'm taking the speed reading course on Saturday,
So on Sunday I can speed read through the whole Pali Canon,
And then I'll be enlightened.
I mean,
How ridiculous,
And yet that's what we do with spiritual teachings,
Because we're very intellectual in the West,
We're like,
I need more information,
I need more knowledge,
And we just keep stacking knowledge upon knowledge upon knowledge,
But it's very superficial,
It's very surface level,
And at the same time,
We're fueling the grasping,
We're fueling the seeking,
If I can just get that next book,
If I could just understand that next item,
Then I could be enlightened.
You know,
It's always the next thing,
And even,
There's a story when the Buddha was visiting this monastery,
Or group of monastics,
And there was this one monk that wasn't particularly bright,
And he had a lot of difficulty remembering the information,
And memorizing anything,
He would stumble along in the chants,
And all the other monks thought he was just hopeless,
And thought,
You know,
He's never going to get it,
He's never going to be enlightened,
But the Buddha saw something in him,
A sincerity,
And he went up to him,
And he said,
Look,
Forget all the books,
Don't go to the Dharma talks anymore,
Just forget that,
I just want you to do one thing,
I want you to sweep the monastery,
And as you're sweeping,
I just want you to say to yourself,
Remove the dirt,
Remove the defilements,
Remove the dirt,
Remove the defilements,
The defilements in Buddhism being greed,
Anger and delusion,
Grasping,
And through that simple practice,
Just that was all he needed to have deeper insights into the nature of reality of what he was grasping at,
And wake up.
We don't need,
It's not that we're not going to,
Again,
It's a balance,
Because I do find on this path,
It is a continuous,
Like,
We need to have a certain level of understanding before we can even understand at a deeper level,
But if we try and just always cram knowledge and information in,
We're not taking that gradual path,
Which is the Buddhist path,
Right?
Take some information,
Take some information from this time,
Talk,
And then apply it in your life,
See where's the freedom in this information,
How can this help you to be more present,
To be more mindful,
To be more in the present moment,
Right?
That's what all of this should be doing.
If the teachings are,
If we're grasping at the teachings,
If we're thinking that we're going to become enlightened because of the next book,
Because of the next Dharma talk,
We're just going to be disappointed,
And we're just going to keep grasping,
And if we are seeking,
We are not seeing,
And seeing is what we need to be doing.
Seeing is what frees us.
Seeing what's happening in this moment,
It doesn't matter that we're grasping,
Right?
As long as we recognize,
As long as we recognize what we're doing and freeing ourselves,
And Penny,
And I'll come back to some of the other comments in a minute,
So I just appreciate your honesty there,
Right?
That you just bought some more mala beads to be more spiritual,
Like great,
Now you see it,
Now you see it,
Don't,
You know,
It's okay,
The mala beads in and of themselves,
They're empty of inherent existence,
Right?
But it's good to see this,
Because in that moment when we're reaching online,
I need something to be more spiritual,
That's the grasping,
That's the seeking,
That's the moment that we need to turn it back and start seeing,
What is it that I think,
Why do I think I could add something onto myself,
And be more spiritual?
I've been doing this my whole life,
Where it was before the spiritual,
It was just,
You know,
More in the material world,
Trying to be more perfect,
Trying to be more successful,
Trying to be more liked,
Trying to be more popular,
Right?
All of the ways that we were doing it before,
We're just doing it in spirituality,
And we're missing where it is we want to go,
Which is here,
This moment,
This is exactly where we're trying to go,
And it's why seeing instead of seeking is the path.
When you think you know what this is,
The moment you can put this into some image,
The moment you do that,
You're grasping.
Anything that you think this is,
Is not it,
And it's simply that same grasping mind trying to latch on to something that's in the future,
That's out there,
Something to attain,
And something,
Something separate from me.
Instead of seeing,
Seeing the grasping that's preventing me,
That's obscuring my true nature,
Instead of seeing the grasping that's preventing the seeing of our true nature,
That's what we're doing,
Is trying to see that,
To see what is already here,
It's not something outside of us,
It's already here,
But it is the grasping mind that obscures it,
And it's so clever,
It keeps reinventing itself and reinventing itself,
And in spirituality,
It loves to reinvent itself as a spiritual seeker,
And it's why so many people spend their whole lives as spiritual seekers,
Instead of seeing and waking up in this moment,
The only place we can wake up,
And it is exactly where we want to be.
So,
We can remember the Yogi Berra quote,
Great for material,
For the material world,
For the worldly pursuits,
For those of us on a spiritual path,
If you think you know where you're going,
You will end up someplace else.
Let's be seers in this moment,
Instead of seeking,
Seeing instead of seeking will take you exactly where you want to be.
Here,
Now,
Present moment,
Doesn't get any better than this,
Right here in this moment.
