Not Getting Lost In Doubt

In this dharma talk, we explore the difference between wise doubt and the kind of doubt that keeps us circling, stuck, and cut off from peace.

This type of doubt often sounds reasonable—even protective—yet quietly pulls us into fear, hesitation, and suffering.

Using Peace is Not Doubting as our seventh and final mantra, we look more closely at how to recognize doubt and not get lost in it.

This track is from a Live Event on Insight Timer.

Transcript

There was a young man that had been traveling for some time, Traveling on foot. And he'd been crossing many rivers, Going up many mountains, Sometimes big mountains, Sometimes small mountains, Going through valleys. He'd been trekking for a long, Long time. And then he came across a river that he needed to cross. It was kind of a big river. And as he looked across to the other side, He noticed that the water was kind of dark. And he thought, The current seems kind of strong. And so instead of stepping into the river, He started questioning whether he should or not, Thinking, No, You know what, I may not be able to make it across. What if I get caught halfway through? What will happen to me? What if I drown? This would be terrible. And so he didn't take that first step into the river. And he stayed on the bank of the river all day. And throughout the day, Other people came along, And they walked across the river no problem. They put their foot in, They got their footing, Off they went. Sometimes they were carrying things, Sometimes they weren't. And he saw other people coming from the other side of the river, No problem. They were all walking across. And as the sun was setting, It was nightfall, The man was still standing at the edge of the river. Not because the river was uncrossable, But because he never stepped in. This is what doubt can do to us. It can paralyze us. It can keep us from making the next step. We can see where we want to go, But it doesn't let us move. And so really, Doubt in and of itself is not a bad thing. I would say there are two types of doubt, At least for this talk, Two types of doubt. There's a wise, Healthy, Skeptical doubt that leads us to investigation, Right, That leads us to wisdom. And this type of doubt, The Buddha strongly recommended for us. He was very clear, We should never take the teachings at face value, We should never take the practices at face value. We should always investigate and see for ourselves if this is true or not. So when we go to meditate or when we're practicing mindfulness, We are stepping in. We are investigating for ourselves to see, Do these practices lead to freedom or do they lead to more grasping? Are they leading to more suffering? So we're seeing this for ourselves when we're, When we hear the teachings, Right, We hear the words or you're reading about a particular wisdom teaching in any tradition, Right, That you then contemplate the tradition on your own. You think about it and you think about how does this apply to your own life? And does this teaching indeed lead to freedom or more grasping, More suffering? So when doubt leads to investigation, It's helping us to also walk the path, Right, To see for ourselves because this path does not work unless we are actually doing it. It also helps us to abandon practices and teachings that are not working, That are not leading to freedom, But that are in fact ever so subtly leading to more grasping, More suffering. So we have to see this for ourselves. Wise doubt is incredibly beneficial to us on the path, On our spiritual practice. But where doubt becomes dangerous is when it paralyzes us. When we get stuck in it, When we're not investigating it. So when we're doubting ourselves, Right, When we're questioning whether we're getting this or not or I'm just not smart enough, Everyone else is but not me, You know, I must be doing something wrong or I've just done too much bad stuff. I could never possibly follow this path. It will never happen for me. And in that way, Doubt isn't leading to investigation. It's not leading to our practices. It's leading to paralysis. We're getting stuck and we're believing the thoughts of doubt. Or maybe when we're questioning the practices and the path but with unwise doubt because we're just questioning that maybe this isn't right for me. Maybe I am on the wrong path and not investigating to see if in fact we are on the wrong path but always kind of just jumping from one thing to the next. Oh, That kind of looks a little more shiny over there. That looks a little more faster over there. That looks more interesting. And so there's a lot of activity happening. We're jumping from one thing to the next. But we're really never taking a step in to any path. We're really never getting away from the suffering, From the grasping. So we've got doubt that's wise that leads to investigation, That leads to clear seeing. The Buddha strongly encouraged this type of doubt. But then we have unwise doubt that causes us to get stuck where we're not questioning anything and where it is incredibly destructive to our spiritual path. And the Buddha strongly warned us about this type of doubt as well. In fact, It's one of the five hindrances. The five hindrances, The ways in which we are most commonly derailing, Getting derailed in our spiritual practice. And what makes unwise doubt so incredibly dangerous is that it sounds like good advice. It always sounds so reasonable. So when we're meditating and we're having one of those meditations where the mind's just extra busy, It won't settle down. And doubt comes whispering in, It's not working. This is useless. This is pointless. What are you doing? You could be going and you could go and do the dishes. You could do the laundry. You could work on that presentation for work, Like you could be doing something else. And that's the thing. It sounds so reasonable to be doing something else. That's how doubt works. It doesn't come in sounding unhelpful. It sounds like good advice. And so we listen to it. And we step away from our practice because it sounded like good advice. And that is the trap of unwise doubt. Why we keep falling for it again and again. And so the next time when we're feeling a little down, Maybe we're feeling overwhelmed, Maybe we just had a difficult conversation with someone and we're like, Oh, We just feel really badly about it. And we know intellectually, We know that we should lean into this. We should feel this. We should investigate what's here. But now it starts whispering in our ear, Oh, That would be too scary to feel this. Not this. Not this time. Maybe next time. Maybe next time. What you need right now, What you need right now to feel better is a distraction. Grab your phone. Let's go on social media. Let's look at the news. Let's go watch some TV. Let's go to the refrigerator. And so it almost sounds like it really has our best interests at heart, Like it's trying to protect us. It always sounds like good advice. And yet underneath that movement, It is always the same. It is always pulling us away from our practice, Not letting us step in, Not letting us move away from the suffering. And so the more that we recognize doubt, The more that we expect doubt, Not that we shouldn't have doubt or not that there's something wrong when doubt appears on the path, Because it is part of the path. We need the wise doubt. The wise doubt leads to investigation. It leads to wisdom. But to be mindful of the unwise doubt, It's leading us away from wisdom. It's causing us to get stuck in our suffering. It's not allowing us to take that next step. It will never allow that step. So when we have those moments, And we all have them, Maybe after a conversation with someone or maybe you're at an event, A party, And as the mind likes to do, It wants to start rehashing all of the conversations that you had, Every word that came out of your mouth, Because it's looking to see where you might have made a mistake, Where we might have said something wrong, Where we might have sounded foolish, Maybe where we offended someone. And it sounds like good advice, Right? None of us wants to offend anyone. We don't want to appear stupid or foolish. But then we remember, It always sounds like good advice. That's what makes it so dangerous. It always sounds like good advice. So we can take that as our cue to investigate it. If it truly is good advice, It will stand up to our mindfulness practice, It will stand up to the investigation, If it truly is good advice. So we take the wise doubt to apply it to the unwise doubt, To see for ourselves whether it is good advice or not. To see for ourselves that when we question the doubt itself, Does it lead to freedom or not? We see it for ourselves. So our seventh mantra is peace is not doubting. Peace is not doubting. Not because we won't have doubt, But because we begin to see that there is the doubt that leads to wisdom, That leads to freedom, The doubt that doesn't get us stuck in doubt, But moves us very quickly into that investigation and into wisdom and into freedom. But to also recognize there is the doubt that gets us stuck, That gets us stuck in the suffering, That doesn't let us move forward. So when we say peace is not doubting, What we're saying is that peace cannot be found when we are lost in the doubting. It cannot be found. So we're not trying to per se get rid of doubt, But to stop getting stuck in doubt. To recognize it more quickly when it's arising. It will always sound like good advice. That's its calling card. Know that. Expect that. Don't be deceived by it sounding like good advice. So every time that we recognize that and we bring the wise doubt to the unwise doubt, We free ourselves. We see for ourselves. It allows us to take that step, That step towards what it is that we want, The freedom, The end of suffering. By recognizing the doubt and investigating it again and again and again and seeing for ourselves, Does this lead to freedom or does it lead to more suffering? If in saying the mantras, Any of the mantras that we've done so far and up to the seventh mantra, Peace is not doubting, If any of the mantras are not helping, If they are not leading to more freedom, If they are leading to more grasping, More suffering, You should abandon them. If they are helping you to see these mind movements more readily and to bring wisdom, To bring more investigation, More mindfulness to them and they are leading you to more freedom, Then that should give you the confidence to stick with them. All of these mind movements that we've been talking about with these seven mantras that we've been doing, They are all taking us away from what it is that we most want and doubt is often underpinning so many of them. The doubt in the pressure of time, The psychological pressure of time, The doubt in the resistance, No, If I let this in, I'll fall apart, The doubt that no, My happiness really is over there, It really is. So in any way, And I've mentioned this a few times, In any way that we can pull a thread on any one of these mind movements and doubt often underpinning so many of them, We pull the thread out of the whole story of me. We pull the thread out of all the suffering. And we see they were just thoughts, Just mind movements, Just thought habits and patterns. Not to judge ourselves because we're doing it, Because everyone's doing it, We're all doing it. It's the conditioning of our culture, Of our society, It's been the conditioning of our culture for hundreds of years, Right? Amplified by a thousand times at least in our very, Very modern culture in the most recent times. And so all of the mantras are really helping us to see these mind movements so that we can catch them real time. And see for ourselves in that moment, That's when we have to do it, We don't get this reading in a book, Sometimes there's little moments, You know, Little moments are in a Dharma talk, Little openings, But truly the wisdom, The wisdom really blossoms in that moment when we're truly doubting, We're not moving forward, We're judging, We're comparing, We're just lost in the story of me and I'm not worthy enough and they've got something more than me. And we see it in that moment and we step in, We take that first step closer to our practice. Maybe not 100% sure if really it's going to work or not, But we're willing to try it anyway. And as we take that first step, Getting closer to what's here, Investigating, Feeling, Being with what's here, Then we see for ourselves whether the path is working or not. We see for ourselves because this is a path that each of us must walk ourselves. We hear the teachings, We read the teachings, We offer the practices, But if you're not doing them, You don't really know if they work or not and you might be likely to abandon them too quickly, But you also might then see, No, It's working, It's working, I need to stick with this and have the confidence to stay with our practice. So our last and final mantra, Peace is not doubting. Peace is not doubting. It's not getting stuck in the doubting. When the doubting arises, We want to be, Allow that doubt to move us into investigation and to see for ourselves, Is it leading us towards freedom? Or towards more suffering? That is the litmus test of all of our practices and teachings. Is it leading us towards freedom? Or is it leading us towards grasping and more suffering? However subtle that grasping, Is it there or not? And we have Alice to thank for our last mantra here because it was Alice who messaged me offline, Gosh, I guess about four weeks ago now, Maybe five weeks ago when I was back in Ohio and we were kind of playing. Well, You were coming in and asking, Could you change the mantras around a little bit? And Filippa, You had also changed the mantras around a little bit. I can't remember exactly how you had changed them around, Not taking the meaning, But just checking in like, Hey, Is this okay? And it is totally okay to fool around a little bit with the mantras. You might want to say, Freedom is not doubting. You might want to say, Contentment is not doubting. Maybe those words speak a little bit more to you or there's another word that speaks a little bit more. But without changing the meaning, And so Alice had come in to me and said, Well, What about doubting, Which is a form of resisting, Right? Everything falls under these two mantras, Right? Or under these two main mind movements. I'm either reaching forward, I'm chasing, I'm desiring, I'm wanting, Or I'm pushing back. I don't want this. Aversion, Resisting. Everything falls under those two main mind movements. But when Alice came in and asked about doubting, Because I was like, Oh, That actually should be one of the mantras. And it allowed me to bring in last week's mantra so we can thank Alice for that. She was one of the conditions for today's talk. So hopefully that was beneficial and we can thank Alice as well. Yes, So you use, Filippa, You use letting go of the story instead of pieces, Not narrating. Yeah, So it's the same. You're looking for the story, You're looking for the story. Yeah, Yeah. And I just want to see. . . So doubt and fear, Yeah, Stephanie. And hi, Craig and Mari, Good to see you guys. Yeah, I mean, I would say in anything that we're pushing back on, There's fear in there, Right? Resistance. In fact, Sometimes I'll even just use the word fear because it's kind of this, Oh, If I get this, Something bad will happen, Right? My happiness will be taken away, I'll be unhappy. So absolutely, Doubt and fear definitely work together. I do think the word doubt, I would say here. . . I mean, Yes, They're very, Very close together, Very, Very close, Overlapping in the same Venn diagram for sure. And both stop us from moving forward. Both stop us from moving forward, Yeah. Yeah, Philippa, Thanks, That's a great point. Perhaps it depends on the context, Yeah. Yeah, It could. I mean, If I were to say peace is not fearing or freedom is not fearing, It almost feels a little broad and it almost feels like fear has its place. All of these things, I think almost through everything except for the psychological pressure of time. I mean, Even a little bit of that when we have the deadline. So always there can be a little bit of usefulness there. But saying peace is not fearing, I wouldn't find as helpful, At least I wouldn't find. So you, Stephanie, You, Sorry, Was it? Yes, Stephanie. Each of you, Again, I would say work with this for yourself. Try the doubting first. I'm going to sit with that a little bit, Stephanie, Because I feel my gut is telling me that I think you would just find some resistance there in your mind. I think that you might find some resistance and that doubt would be sneaking in through that and going, Well, Sometimes you need to fear things. Sometimes it's useful. And so I think it would actually give an opening for the doubt. I think it might give an opening for the doubt. Yeah, It is there, Absolutely, Ruth. Fear is behind. It's even behind the chasing, Exactly, Because the fear of what if I don't get it? What if you get there first? What if there's not enough left for me? Right? Yeah, It's like, Oh, My gosh. So yes, It is absolutely there in all of them. But I would hesitate to use it as an actual mantra. I think the doubt would find a way to slip in there. And yeah, Bob. Hi, Bob. Good to see you. All of this stems from the delusion that we are separate. All of this stems from the idea that we are a separate, Solid, Independent being. Absolutely. That's the root of it. And the grasping is coming from that solid, Independent being or the belief in it that if I could just get this, I'd be happy, Right? If I could just push this thing away, I'd be okay. And so even in the doubt, Where it's kind of saying, Oh, I'm too afraid to do that. Yeah, Actually, There's the fear again. I'm too afraid to do that. It feels kind of protective in it. So it feels kind of safe, Like, Actually, This is better for me. Maybe we're not feeling like it's going to make us happy, But we feel in the doubt that we won't suffer. But of course we are suffering. Of course we're suffering. Right? If the doubt is keeping us stuck in the doubt, Of course we're suffering. Bob, So I just want to come back to yours. How we balance our needs for money to pay our bills from our understanding that peace and freedom come from pursuing love and compassion for ourselves and others and shedding our false sense of self and separation. So I think it's important to, When we're practicing, When we're practicing on our path, And to remember that this is a path of wisdom and compassion. And that every time, Like, You acknowledge, Maybe you're thinking about paying your bills, But there's a sense of contraction around it. There's a sense of tension around it. There's a sense of separateness, A sense of me having to pay the bills again, And, Oh, No, Will I have enough? And every time you investigate that, Like, You recognize, There it is, The me that's worried about not having enough money. Right? And yet here you are paying your bills. If you have enough money, And you are paying your bills in that moment, Like, There's money in the checking account that you're writing the check out for, To investigate that to see, Oh, If I'm actually safe and secure right now in this moment, If I do have just enough money to pay my bills, Maybe you've got enough for six months, Seven months, Eight months or something, And I don't feel secure. I feel unsure about this. I feel a contraction around this. There's a me that's kind of, Oh, Feels like it's losing in some way. Then no amount of money in the world is ever going to make you feel secure. So this is what we're investigating. There's you, Bob, Sitting there paying your bills. You've got some money in the bank. And I'm not saying that everyone's in this position. Not everyone's in this position. Some people are living paycheck to paycheck. They're in a much different. . . They're in survival mode. But for a good many of us, And while we may not have luxurious conditions, We have enough in this moment. And yet, And Michelle, That's the right word there, That sense of lack is always there. We're paying the bills. We have enough money to pay the bills. And yet we're still feeling it. So that's what we keep questioning, The thoughts of the separate self in that moment that's creating the contraction inside of us, That's creating the sense of lack, When in fact we are not lacking for anything. We have a roof over our head. We have clothing. We have food in the fridge. We have a little bit of money in the bank. It doesn't have to be a lot, But we have a little bit. We have enough. And so we question, It's clearly not the reality that I'm really lacking in this moment. But that's what the separate self does. It always comes in with a sense of lack. I got to get over there. I need more money. Bank account's got to be bigger. You could have $1, 000. Doesn't matter if you have $10, 000. You could have $100, 000. You could have a million. It'll never be enough. It'll never be enough. That sense of the separate self, The me as a solid independent me, It's insatiable. It will never be enough. I mean, Think about billionaires lobbying to have tax cuts. Billionaires, They could never spend all of the money that they have, And yet they're spending money to try and save more money, Right, To buy off politicians to have more tax breaks. Corporations making hundreds of billions of dollars or tens of billions of dollars, And yet lobbying to get more breaks, Cutting corners because it's more. It's never enough. It's never enough. And so it's in that moment, This is where it happens, Bob, In this moment, Oh, There it is. There's the chasing of more money. There's the resisting of, Oh, I have to pay these bills, Right? There's the story of me. Oh, Here's the story of Bob. Having to pay bills. Not sure if he's going to have enough. In any way that you're able to question it and feel it and keep inquiring, Because as you inquire, What you're going to get down to is that sense of lack. Where is this coming from? I mean, People that have, I don't know, 100, 000 followers, It's not enough. People that have, They can be absolutely stunningly beautiful. It's not enough. It's never enough. This is how the separate self thrives, Right? If it were enough, There'd be nothing for it to feed on. There'd be nothing for it to grasp at. It's how it keeps itself alive. It's always, Yes, Carol, It's always that scarcity mindset. It's always that sense of lack. Even when you get it and you think, Oh, I've gotten to a certain level of financial security, And I'm not denying that on the conventional level, There is a certain level of financial stability. Of course, No guarantees. There's never a guarantee something can happen to our health. Uncertainty really is the constant thread throughout our lives. But we can reach a certain level of financial security and we can really feel like, Oh, I've made it, And I've been striving and grasping to get there because I always told myself once I got there, Once I made X number of dollars per year, I had X number of dollars in the bank where I finally owned my own house, I finally said I could be okay then, That I could relax. And maybe for a couple of days, I did. We've all been there. We've all had those moments. And then right back up, The lacking comes up again. I don't know if it's enough now because now I want more. And I don't know if it's safe now. Where should I be investing it? What if this happens? What if that happens? It will never be enough. And so it's not the top-down kind of how do I pursue the love and compassion? It's the bottoms-up, Seeing the separate self as it's arising, As what we're doing with these, Using the mantras, To see how it's arising in the most common ways that it's arising. And in seeing it in that moment, And seeing through the illusion of separateness, In seeing it, You pop through the delusion. What you took to be real, What you took to be who you were, All of a sudden, You see the insubstantiality of it. It was an appearance that arose through thoughts, Particular types of thoughts, Grasping thoughts, Thoughts that are attached to something. I'm kind of using grasping attachment in the same way, But it's that clinging, That grasping, That attachment. It's those types of thoughts, A me that is always in relationship to something else. I want something, Because I am lacking. I don't want that, Because I perceive if I get what I don't want, Then I'll be lacking. Right? So it's always, It's always in relationships. We can't think about the self unless it is in relationship to something. So, The more that we see the separate self, The way it's arising, And the mantras designed to help us pinpoint it and see it, Every time you see that, You are piercing through that veil of illusion, That delusion of who we have taken ourselves to be. And in that moment, When the separate self, This idea that I'm this finite, Small, Limited, Lacking little self, Once that, The jig is up, And now we're really seeing, And we're hearing, And we're here, And we're noticing, Oh my gosh, I kind of missed this experience here, This being here on this planet. I kind of missed that we're, We're, We're all here having this connection, This experience, This shared connection. Because now all the borders separate, All the borders separate. Or they, They, Sorry, All the borders come down, They dissolve. And as we continue on the path, And as you, What you start seeing is that in fact, You were never an independent, Separate, Permanent thing. That in fact, Each and every one of us is arising, I say this a million times, But it's, We are all arising through trillions of causes and conditions, And changing moment by moment by moment. Bob, You asked the question. Michelle, You put in the word, Oh lacking, Oh yes, Let's go with that, Because that was good, Thank you for kind of catching me on that. Yes, That's what, It's always there. Everyone else putting comments in, I can see the words, Right? And sometimes the word will stick here, And like, Oh yeah, Let's go there. So the words that are then coming out of this mouth, Not in sync, I get that, But they're coming out of this mouth, Right? That we are all co-creating this moment. No one doing it independently. No one doing it independently. And so we really do see, So the love and compassion that comes then, Now, Not because we tried to force it, Because there is the true seeing, Oh, There is nothing solid and independent here. Yes, There is an experience happening. There's a direct experience happening. Yes, It's here. Not saying that we don't exist, But not as an independent, Solid, Permanent being. I'm not driving this car. There has never been a driver behind the wheel here. I've thought there was for a long, Long time. It's almost like we're like the little, The little kid in the backseat, Right? With the little steering wheels, The mom or the dad's in front driving, And you think you're driving, But you're trying to turn and they're turning that way. It's like, Oh, Why isn't it working? And we're trying to steer and we're trying to control everything. And in that trying to control everything, Because I believe I'm the one, And because seeing ourselves as a solid, Separate, Independent being, I see myself then as the center of the universe. What I want matters most. Not what you want, What I want. No compassion in that. Because what I want matters most from that point of view, From that point of view. And so if you're getting something, If you're getting ahead, Oh no, I'm getting behind. Oh no, I can't have that. Right? So it distorts our entire view of reality, Our entire view of how we see ourselves, Of how we see other people. They're simply obstacles in getting what I want or pushing back on what I don't want. I don't want that person in my life. They shouldn't have said that to me. They shouldn't be doing that over there. They shouldn't have gotten ahead of me. They shouldn't be getting those accolades. Right? All of these ways in which we see other is getting in the way of what I want because we come from this constant, Insatiable sense of lack. This is what the ego thrives on. Lack. Lack. And it will never be enough. You will never satisfy. This is why the Buddha said, Trying to quench your desires is like, Trying to quench your desire is like trying to quench your thirst with salt water. You will just be more thirsty. And this is what we're seeing again and again in our experience. This is where we keep, The more aware that we are, The more time that we're investigating the mind, Instead of following it, Instead of running along, It says, Get over there. And we go, Oh, We run over there because I'll be happy when I get over there. And we run like good little soldiers. Right? And then we get over there and it says, Now get over there. And oh, We run over there. Right? But you start slowing down and you start coming through the practices of meditation and mindfulness becoming more aware. You start seeing like, They aren't saying to get over there. Right? There's the chasing. Peace is not chasing. I just said that in my meditation this morning. And then you come in and you feel like, Wow. And you feel the contraction, The suffering, In the belief that I need to get over there. And in that moment, Because now you're with the feelings, The feelings are real, The story's not, The feelings are real. And as you breathe and you feel what's here, And sometimes it's just that little movement, It's just a little bit of feeling it, Sometimes a little bit of breathing into it. And then the contraction dissipates and you're like, Oh, Oh, The peace wasn't over there. It's here. I'm just doing the dishes. I'm just brushing my teeth. I'm just walking the dog. I'm driving the car. The peace was never over there. The peace is always right here. The peace is always in this moment. And the love and the compassion is the natural expression of seeing that we are all part of the same tapestry. Everyone having a little slightly different conditions, Of course, Right? Everyone having a little bit different, Right? Philippa's off in the UK having her conditions. Alice is in Santa Barbara, Her conditions. Michelle in Ohio having her conditions. Michelle in Montana having her conditions. Santiago, And I'm not sure where you are, But you having your conditions, Right? Everyone having their own little unique experience, Right? But seeing that each of us could not exist on our own independently. Every conversation we've ever had has contributed to who we are. Every experience we've ever had has contributed to who we are. What's happening in our biology, In our neurochemistry, In our hormones, In our blood pressure, All of that, What's happening in the weather, What's happening on the internet, Right? Right now, Right? Everything, Right? The internet could come crashing down right now, Right? All of these just trillions of different conditions arising and changing moment by moment by moment. And in seeing that, Yes, There is an experience that's happening here, There is sentience that's here, There's seeing, There's hearing, There's feeling, There's smelling, There's tasting, Right? There's thinking, There's doing, There's talking. But in seeing that there is no solid independent me behind any of this, There's a letting go. There's a letting go. Oh, Let's see what happens. Maybe there's a plan. Now let's see. I'd said that to you yesterday, Abigail, On a voice clip I'd left for you. Okay, You've got a plan. Now let's see if it happens. Sometimes it does, Sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes there's a better plan. Sometimes it's a worse plan. But either way, It's like I'm not controlling this. But not that we can't, And Bob, Just to your earlier point too, Not that there's not thinking and not that we say, Well, I might as well just give everything away. Yes, You need a certain amount of money in the bank just to pay your bills, Right? We all do. We all do. We all have bills to pay. We need to buy groceries. We need to be able to give some time to making sure that we're living within our budget, Living within our means, Making sure we're not buying things on credit, Things that we think are going to bring us our eternal happiness, Because they're not. Things can't do that. But that we can recognize the tension when we're starting to think about our finances, The contraction, And breathe. Okay. Feel it. Yeah, Wow. Wow. A minute ago, I kind of almost felt like I was going to be homeless tomorrow. But that's not even likely, Not possible, Right? And it's like, Okay, But I do maybe need to think. Maybe I do need to look at some things. Maybe I need to cut back a little bit on some expenses. Sure. Sure. I've been doing that because all these flying back and forth to Ohio, There haven't been some things I'm like, Oh, I should cut back a little bit on some things. Yeah. Right. We can always make some adjustments. Eat more beans, More beans and rice. That's been one of my things, More beans and rice. They're so cheap. So yeah, Of course, We can do things, But we don't have to do it with that of trying to make the separate self feel satisfied. So Bob, That's never going to happen. It's never going to happen. You're never going to happen. There's not enough praise in the world. There's not enough money in the world. There's not enough good conditions in the world. It's just never going to happen. And you start to see that, You realize you're like, Oh, It's never going to be satisfied. I should stop trying to satisfy that which is never going to be satisfied because it's not me. And what it's doing because we give all of our attention to the thought created me, The lacking me, The sense of the separate self is that we miss seeing what it is that's here. We miss. We miss what it is that's here. We miss our whole lives. We're on this planet for, Some of us a short time, Some of us 60, 70, 80 years. We have ups and we have downs and we have a lot of mundane moments in between. But the ride is always changing and you are the ride. You are the ride. The separate self on the ride, Not making the ride any better because it's always going, No, I want to be on that ride. No, I want to be up there. No, I want to be down there. And you're not controlling any of it. You're not controlling any of it. So just let go and enjoy the ride. You paid to be on the ride. You're here. You're on the ride. When the ride's good, Enjoy the good conditions. Yay, This is fun. When the ride's faith giving us difficult conditions and we all get them, We all get them. We recognize, Oh, This won't last. Just feeling a little down or I've hurt my back or something's happened. And it's like, Oh, These are the conditions right now. Okay, How can I be the most gentle with myself in this moment? Not push back on it, Not make it any worse. So we start applying wisdom and compassion to what it is that's happening in this moment because it's not happening to me, But it's happening. It's just all happening. There is sentience. There is experience here happening, But it's experiencing. It's happening. No one that it's happening to. No one that it's happening to. That's the freedom. That's the end of grasping. That's the end of suffering. We don't lose our ability to think, To plan, To be helpful, To be generous. We just, We do it all without this monkey on our back. And Ruth, Thank you so much for the donation. Thank you. I do appreciate that. Thank you. Thank you, Noni. T, I'm going to come to your question. I'm going to go back first because I saw there were a lot of comments that were coming in. And I know that not all of you can read the comments. So where I think I should read them, I'll read them. So we got all the syncing not working. But Kathy, Yeah, I wanted to come to yours. Oh, Yeah, I will, T. I will definitely get to it. And T, If I forget, If we get to the end, Just remind me again. But just, If I don't go back now to the comments and I could see they were starting to get a little long, It will only let me go back so far. So I just want to make sure that I don't miss some others here because I thought, Yeah. So Kathy, Just saying you appreciate, You find that you appreciate the things you have and don't dwell on the things you don't have. Your perspective now is to have a simple and minimalistic life. It takes time, But it's ultimately more satisfying. It is. More things do not bring us more happiness, But that's what's been drilled into us. That's the conditioning. That's the conditioning of our culture. It has been drilled into us. More is better. More is always better, Right? Look at everything. It's always saying, Look, Two for the price of one or 20% more free. It's probably not 20% more free. They probably put the price up, But just all of these little ways in which they get us to kind of, Oh, More, More, More. Yes, More, More, More, Right? That we're always in this frenzy about more and it doesn't make us happy because it's just more grasping. It's more clinging. It's more believing in the separate self, But the more simple our life is, Absolutely, The more simple our life is, And I really mean the more simple, Like less media. Less media. The media thrives on fear. The media thrives on fear. Rage bait or rage news. Rage bait click or something. It thrives on it. It's very hard, Other than I would say insight time or apps like this, Where it's very hard. Most of these places, They are getting your attention through fear or desire. Hurry now. Only two more hours left at this price. Only two more left. If you don't sign up now, The discount's going to go, Right? It's always kind of getting us on the fear and the desire, So I do think it's important, And I do say this. I do say this. I mean, We all have to do what we need to do, But that's a big part of the minimalist, Of letting go of some of the conditions that feed into this sense of separateness, Feed into the fear and the desire. Yeah, Yeah. Oh, Amy, You're right. Always a gimmick. Always thrives on FOMO, Right? Everyone knows that. Marketing knows this. I mean, They're all, I mean, All of the marketing companies know this. They all know how to get into our motivation reward pathway and then into the fear. Like, They all know. Yeah, And just, Yeah, I'm glad to hear that you're, Yeah, You feel anxious. Sorry, Not glad to hear that you feel anxious, But when you have too many things, At least they're recognizing it. They're recognizing it. Yeah, And good enough. Good enough, Shira, Exactly. Good enough. Let go of the thirst. Good enough. Yeah, Okay. And Shona, Just a really great point. Yeah. When we finally give up control, Yeah, Those are beautiful moments when there's that recognition and you let go, Right? Now, The bliss, The bliss comes and goes, Too. You want to be really careful of that because the separate self wants to come in and claim the bliss, Right? It will claim everything, So we want to be careful of that, Too. Awakening to the separate self does not mean a permanent state of bliss, And we did a talk on that not too long ago, A couple months ago. I've done a few talks on that because there can be such a release in that moment. We're all wound up in the separate self, Oh, What I need, And then that just kind of letting go and that surrendering and seeing that there is no separate self, That the contraction's so wound up and there's that, Phew, That huge, It feels like this huge expansion from that state of contraction, And it often comes in with some bliss, Right? Oh, My gosh, It's just kind of get flooded with that neurochemistry that kind of adds into the bliss, And then the separate self can come in after and go, I had it, I was blissful, But now it's fading, It's fading. Oh, No, I've got to get back to it. It wasn't there for it, But don't underestimate its ability to come in and claim it. It will always come in another back door. So even just in that, Just being very mindful of chasing the good conditions. The peace is not dependent upon the good conditions or the unpleasant conditions. It's dependent upon whether we are struggling against it or not or we're grasping against it or not. And the peace is just, It's an openness, It's a steadiness, It's a spaciousness. I mean, I'm describing what really, What we can't really use words to describe and what the ego loves to grasp onto as well. But we know that state of, Of the absence of the struggle. Sometimes it comes in with bliss and sometimes just moments of bliss are there, But to just let them come and go too. When they come, Great, Enjoy them. I mean, I'm not knocking back the bliss either. It's great, Love it. You know, Yay, It's here, Right? Right, But the more we start grasping at it, The faster it runs away. It's just, Yeah, It's here. And then when it fades and we can acknowledge, I can appreciate it, I can have gratitude for these nice conditions. And when it changes, No problem, No problem. Right, It was going to change. It was going to change. And then when it kind of, A little bit later, You just feel a little bit, Your energy's a little bit lower off the high, Right? And then we can just recognize, Yeah, It changed. Of course it did. Of course it did. But we don't have to go back into grasping, Oh no, No, No, No, I lost it. You didn't lose anything. Experiences come and go. Experiences come and go. Everything else is, Everything is changing. And everything, It's changing. It's all changing in something that is not changing though. That there is some backdrop of here of, That all of this is happening in, That all of this is happening in. And we kind of want to get to that. Oh, Well, What is it? What is it? Then what am I? What's my true nature? Right, And then we start grasping at that. You can't grasp at it. The best you can do is keep seeing that you are not the separate self. And see what happens. Because the grasping is so very, Very subtle. And it just keeps coming back in. Million back doors. Million back doors. And thank you, Julie. Thank you. Thank you for the donation. I appreciate it. Thank you. Thanks a lot. Okay, I want to read your quote, Philippa. Quite often we think we're in luck, But it is an illusion. Yeah, We have enough money to pay bills, Food, Et cetera. Hang on, I got a little. . . Hang on. To buy a new thousand meter TV screen or a holiday abroad or other things. So the feeling of luck comes in, But in fact, In the moment, We don't lack anything. As an example, You had an addiction to fountain pens. Even now the thought pops up that you need new $100 fountain pen. But it's an illusion. So I say, I see you, Mara, And ignore it. And the feeling of luck disappears. It is. It's just great. Very well said, Philippa. The thought arises. The thought arises I need something. And we go, Oh, I do. Here I was sitting here totally safe and okay and content. I did not know I needed something. And the thought pops up. And behind the thought I need something is the belief in a little me. Oh, And if I get it, That little me up there is going to feel safe. It's going to feel satisfied. It doesn't matter that the me that's right here now is feeling this contraction, This tension. It's feeling horrible, Right? It's like, Oh, But I'll feel happy if I get it. And then all this racing and striving and trying to get there, Right? Trying to get there, Trying to get the thing, Right? All the suffering in trying to get there, Right? Think about people that do this in their careers, That they avoid their family, Or they miss all their kids' soccer games or kids' events. They ignore their spouse because they're like, I got to get ahead. I got to get more security for the family, Right? Got to get more. Got to get more. Just got to get more. And then they finally get there and then the wife leaves them. The kids don't even know them anymore at the expense of what's here because it's never enough. And it's just this belief in our head. We believe the little me is going to finally feel so safe and secure once we get there. We so believe it. But it is an illusion. It is absolutely an illusion. Shira, You're in Israel, And I hope you are okay. I hope you are okay and safe there. I hope you are. Yeah, I do think about just, Oh. There's a lot happening over there. And I know that this can also be a topic that can be very overwhelming for a lot of people. But this is where we can really remember other people and hold them in our hearts. That really are in situations where uncertainty becomes much more obvious. And the thing is, None of us knows when that uncertainty is going to appear in that way. We take the good conditions for granted. We do take the good conditions for granted, And we shouldn't. And so my heart goes out to you, Shira, Your family, Your friends. I hope you're okay. I hope you're all right. I'm glad that you're here with us. I'm glad you're here. You're in good conditions. Good. I'm glad to hear that you're safe. Oh, Tisa, You're saying you worked for billionaires. Oh, I just caught the end of yours, But I think it was you worked for billionaires for a couple of years, And just the chasing was endless. Yeah. I mean, I worked in the financial industry for 25 years. Now, I was a trader at a hedge fund. I'm going to talk about greed and grasping. And it was never enough. It was never enough. And then it all came tumbling down in 2008. Yeah, You're there, And then, Oh, No, It's coming down. But, In fact, Even in those conditions, Like when our hedge fund was falling apart, So through 2008 and the financial crisis, And I remember I was, Like, Looking online for retreats in India. I'm like, Oh, Thank God I'm out of here. It was hard to leave those conditions, But when they were kind of presenting themselves, I was like, Oh, Thank goodness. And any time it looked like the markets were coming back and we'd be okay, I'm like, No, No, No, No, No, No, No. And even though I did go back on to do some consulting work for a few years for the hedge fund, I was slowly, At that point, It was the conditions that really then, It was like, Okay, Let's leave this conventional lifestyle behind. Let's leave the layperson lifestyle behind or the householder lifestyle. Yeah, And that's what I did in 2013. So what, At first, Was like, Oh, My gosh, The markets are imploding. You're seeing your net worth going down. And, Of course, I have far less money than I had at one point in 2007, But I wouldn't trade the freedom for the world, Wouldn't change it for the world. Yeah, Sharing others is, Sharing is important, Bob. So much joy in sharing what we've got, Yeah. So, Filippa, You're saying there's been times that you felt very guilty about, Oh, Hang on, It flipped up. And I am missing, Sometimes the comments are getting to a point where I can't see them, So I'm sorry. So I'm just going back to the last one that I can see, And I may not, Oh, Thank you, Tracy, Thank you so much for the donation. So you're saying there have been times that you felt very guilty about having so much more than, Say, A poor family in rural India, But its causes and conditions in another life that could have been in their situation. You still could. Yeah, And you can share your fortunate causes and conditions with others in other ways. Yeah, It's interesting how we can have good conditions, And then all of a sudden the guilt can come can come in, Right, The comparing of, Oh, Of, I, Comparing in a way that, But I have so much, So, Oh my God, Look at what they've got, I should feel better about myself. And, And so we want to make sure that we're, We're recognizing, Like, A lot of people in India don't have a lot, And yet they are incredibly happy. It's like here in Mexico, So in the little town that I live in, In La Ventana, This is a little tiny fishing village in southern Baja, And, I mean, There are families here that have so little, And yet you see how happy they are. There's so much joy, And so much love, And, And they're so helpful. And so it's easy for us to look at others and think, Oh, Well, They have so much less, And they, And materially they probably do, But it doesn't, That doesn't necessarily mean that they're happy, Or sorry, That they're not happy. I think that, I think the amount of the materialism in the West, The obsession, And really when things started, Like, In the, In the, Maybe in the 90s in the West, When things started, 80s, 90s, When things started becoming really cheap, Probably when we started shipping jobs off to China, And then things were coming back really cheap, That we could just acquire more, And more, And more, And more, And more, I think is what led so many of us onto a spiritual path, Right? Because we were like, I got everything I wanted, I got everything I wanted, And I'm not any happier for it. And so it, It's really what I think has precipitated a lot of, So much of spirituality, Eastern spirituality coming to the West, And in the East, Like in China and India, Where we're seeing that they're kind of going through their materialism phase now, They're abandoning the religions, Right? But we're taking it on because we're like, Oh man, That materialism didn't quite work, Didn't work out the way the commercial said it was going to work out. Yeah, Alice, So in fact, I think that's what we were talking about, You were saying that the doubt, The self-doubt in your grief, Oh, Something just, Oh, I just lost every comment, Like a thousand hearts came in, And I've lost every comment, Oh now they're, Oh, I've just lost every comment, So much context dippin', The heck, I don't, I don't know, We may be, Oh, Maybe we're getting hacked, I don't know, I'm so sorry, I just missed all those comments, I'm so sorry. So Carol, I'm in the dark with you too, And Shira, Yeah, Tracy, That's, That's so weird, I was on a Zoom once where someone actually came in and did something, I mean, Horrifying, Like, Horrifying, An actual, Like, Prank, Kind of, Oh, Philippa, So this is Philippa, This is not Philippa from the UK, Philippa White, Yes, I do do one-on-ones, Yeah, And if you go to my website, You can see that, Yeah, Yeah, David does a lot of, And at least if we're going to get bombed in some way with hearts, That was pretty nice, That was pretty cool. So I'll just, If you, You want to put your question again, Totally fine to re-put your question in there, But T, And you had said something, And I hope I get the question right, That maybe it was something about homelessness, Maybe that that being a, A real possibility, That that, That being a real possibility in this moment, I'm not sure if it was for you or for someone else, But yeah, I do want to be clear, Like, A lot of what I'm talking about here is, Like, In fact, It's not that it doesn't translate, It absolutely translates, But a lot of, To the people that I am talking to, A lot of people are in situations where, You know, That's really not a likely scenario, But if that is a likely scenario, Even with that, To come in and feel the fear, Right, If that's what's happening, If, Uh, If you, If your finances are a little more on the margins, And, Uh, Yeah, I mean, That, That homelessness is a real possibility, As best you can to recognize that fear when it's here, To be with it in this moment, Use some self-compassion, Right, To be with it, To breathe into it, To feel it, To allow yourself to be here in this moment, Because even if, Let's say, The conditions are that you have to go to a, A homeless shelter, Or maybe you're staying at a friend's house, Maybe you're couch surfing as a way to, Uh, Keep a roof over your head, What's important is that you do allow yourself to acknowledge the fear that's here, And always, This is in any situation, Even when it's the made-up fear, We want to acknowledge the fear is always real, And there is something happening, There is something happening that needs, Uh, Needs a constructive step forward, That you actually, There is something probably that you do need to do, So a lot of the time what we're talking about is to come in and fear, Feel the fear, Feel the sense of lack that's really driving it, So that we can, Like, Oh, Wow, I was just kind of lost in it, But even in this situation where it's like you want to come in and fear it, Feel that sense of lack, Feel that sense of, Uh, Oh, I longing, Right, No, No problem with feeling the longing for the previous life that you had, But to feel it in the present moment, To nurture those feelings, The longing, Yeah, Of course, I think that's a normal, I think that's normal to long for the normalcy of your, Of how your life was before the conditions changed, I think that's, Uh, A feeling that every one of us would have, And so when you can acknowledge, Like, This is normal, And there is lost privacy and lost autonomy and lost safety, So as best you can, When you can, When you're safe, To breathe and feel it, To acknowledge what's here, Because you, You, You can notice in that moment that maybe you are in a shelter, And maybe you are, Um, You know, You've founded something, Maybe you're in your car, Right, And you've, You've found a safe place, And if you can breathe and feel it, You can even find, Like, Ah, Okay, There's not so much of a struggle inside, At least you can, You can find that sense of, Like, Okay, These are the conditions, I wouldn't have asked for these conditions, They're not ideal conditions, But these are the conditions, So you can breathe mindfully, Being with what's here, Really feeling what's here, And as you do that, You might find just in that moment, Just even it's a moment, A moment of peace of, I'm okay, I'm okay in this moment, And then there's the clarity for you to be able to think, Okay, What can I, What should I do, What would be a wise step forward, Maybe there's nothing to do in this moment, Uh, You've just, You've found shelter for the night, And you need a good night's rest, You need a good meal in the morning, So that you have the strength, The energy to be able to take another wise step in the morning, Okay, So what do I need to do, Maybe look for a job, File for unemployment, Um, Consider, Talk to a counselor, Consider what my options are, So that you're still moving forward, But every time there's a moment, You're sitting in, In an office, You're waiting to speak with a social worker, You're, Uh, You're sitting in a park, And you, And there's just that moment of, I'm not sure where I'm going to go tonight, I'm not sure what shelter, I'm not sure what's going on, But you come in and you feel the fear, And you feel the uncertainty, And you feel the longing for your previous life, So not all at once, Each one, Just, Okay, Here's the fear, Breathe and feel the fear, It's okay that the fear is here, Right, The fear is real, The fear is real, But you feel it in the body, Allowing yourself to be with what's here, And then inquiring what else is here, Oh yeah, The longing for my old life, Okay, That's here too, And breathe and we feel, And as you keep inquiring what else is here, And you keep very tenderly, Very compassionately, Very wisely meeting each feeling that's here, Starting to feel more grounded, You're bringing compassion and wisdom to this moment, And you might notice in that moment, So the sense of isolation, The sense of failure, Okay, That's here too, And for all of us, We all have these fears, Whether it's happening or not, To acknowledge the feelings, Give them a little space, Allow them to be here, It's okay that you're here, A sense of failure, It's okay, Yeah, Yeah, There's room for you, Right, We can talk, There's room for you, And we breathe, And we allow the feeling, Not the story, The feeling, And so as it moves through us, Right, The feelings then start to move through us, Then we can see more clearly of what it is that I do need to do, What steps that I do need to do, And then maybe also you can see that in this moment, Yeah, So it's accepting the feelings, Not the story, So that you're still taking steps to move forward in the situation, But you're also really having, You're really facing, There's, You're facing your fears in this moment, This is part of your path, It's part of the journey of tea, And even, You know, You don't know how this is going to turn out, And I don't deny that things are not good right now, I'm not, I'm definitely not minimizing that I'm definitely not minimizing that, That things are not good right now, But the fear, If it keeps building, Can often lead to paralysis, Right, Because then the doubts come in, Right, And it all, It all kind of just cripples us, And then we don't make the steps that we need to make, And then you're also missing that maybe throughout the day there's many moments where you can just rest in the present moment, Where you do feel safe, Where you do feel okay, And that gives you the strength and the courage to take the next step forward, And the next step forward, Because this is where you really do need to look after yourself, To acknowledge these feelings, So they don't spiral further down, But that's so that you find the energy to, Okay, Yeah, You can find moments of peace, You need that, You need those moments of peace, Tea, You need those moments of peace, So when you have those moments to really take the time to do your practice, To feel it, To really be with it, To remember, Right, One of my favorite self-compassion phrases, Just like me, Millions of people around the world right now are homeless, Or are feeling an insecurity around being homeless, They're on the verge of it, That you're not alone with what it is that you're experiencing right now, And so that also is another way to remember like you're not alone, Because it does feel so isolating, It does feel so real, Like it's like, But no, Here I am alone, Right, But what you're experiencing is being felt around the world, Millions of people are feeling this right now, And in that acknowledging that, Like, Okay, I'm not alone, And I can feel this, And that can sometimes be enough to just say that phrase to get you done, And now let's come in, You can talk yourself through it, Oh, Tea, Come on, Let's feel this, Let's be with it in this moment, Right, You can be with it in this moment, And feel it, And then, And in feeling the feelings, Because you can't tell the story of feeling unsafe while you're feeling the feelings of being unsafe, And that's what's fueling the feelings, And so there's that opening, Right, There's that opening then of, Oh, Yeah, There's a moment of peace here, There's a moment of peace, No matter where I am, I can find that peace, And so those moments really helping you connect with the shared experience, The shared connection that we have, That we all have, To recognize this is what's happening, It's not ideal, Definitely not ideal, But I'm safe right now, I can breathe right now, I can feel what's here, And then in the next step, I can take a wise step forward, I can take a wise step forward, And then another step, And then another step, But that you, You keep coming in and feeling, And as Alice said, Yes, That we can all do some tonglen for you later today, Tea, Right, And so know that we can all hold you in our hearts, You're not alone, Yeah, Yeah, And oh, You can't, So people are sending beautiful comments to you, Tea, Right now, You know, You're not alone, And IT being a great sense of community here, Right, Really coming in to find other people that can really truly have compassion and feel, That can open our hearts enough to let your pain in, And to hold it, And to hold it, So just in each moment, Doing your best, In each moment, Just doing your best, And when you fall off a little bit, No problem, No problem, Just start again, Just begin again, And just as best you can, Be as kind to yourself as you can, Just be as kind to yourself as you can, Okay, Tea, And, And my heart really does go out to you, My heart goes out, And in any way that you know, Need support, And some of you know, Because I talk with you offline, If you want to send me a message on IT, You know, Reach out to me, Because sometimes just hearing these words over and over again, And also just having someone to vent to, Can be helpful, And as many of you know, That I talk with offline, And I, Anyone who messages me, I'm always willing to offer this, There's no charge for any messages, Or anything like that, So I am, I am just happy to be here to support you, Okay, Because we all need support, We all need help, We all need each other, You know, Sometimes we're on the receiving end of someone's help, Sometimes we're the one giving it, But it takes two, Right, It takes both of us, Are part of it, So I, I just encourage that as well, If you want to reach out, And Abigail, Yeah, You did go through some similar things as well, And struggles, A lot of struggles, I wonder if you and T could maybe also connect up, Because you, You've really come a long way, Yeah, And Michelle is sending you love and support, And Tracy is holding you in her heart, T, Yeah, So there's a lot, And I'm reading them, Because I think you can't read the comments, So, So T, Abigail just sent you a friend request as well, So yeah, It is a beautiful, Insight Timer, Such a beautiful community, Such a beautiful community, We're very, Very lucky, And I know a lot of you are friends, I think it's so sweet, I see when you guys, Hi Philippa, Hi Alice, You guys are reaching out to each other, So it's really nice that you guys are that there's just this beautiful community here, Yeah, And just supporting each other, That's a big part of our path, Right, Supporting each other, Because sometimes we're the one that needs support, And sometimes we're the ones that's giving the support, And it's okay to be on either side of it, It's okay to be on either side of it, No one can give support if someone doesn't need support, Right, And we are all going to find our side, Ourselves, On either side of it, Yeah, Oh T, I'm glad, I'm glad to hear it means a lot, Okay, So let's, So why don't we do a short, Let's do a 15-minute meditation, Yeah, Mari, It is, It's great support, Why don't we do a, And Barb, I see you going across there, Just wanted to say hi, Why don't we do a meditation with our pieces, Not doubting, So that we've, We've got that in there, And is that Munchki, Or Munchi, Yes, And thank you for the donation that you sent, So you went directly to the website to avoid the Apple fees, Thank you for that, Thank you for that last week, So is there anyone here that doesn't know how to count the mantras on their hand, Is anyone unfamiliar with that? Katie, You're new, Okay, All right, So how we say the mantras, And we use our left hand, So you bring your top of your thumb and the top of your pinky together, That's the first count, So this is where we say silently, Peace is not doubting, So one full inhale and exhale for each mantra, For each count, And then we go to the middle of the finger, Peace is not doubting, So like inhale, Peace is not doubting on the exhale, Or something along those lines, And then we go to the third point on the finger, Peace is not doubting, And then the top of the next finger, The middle, The crease, So it's three points for each finger, Right, So we do 12 points total, So one full inhale and exhale for each mantra, For each count, Peace is not doubting, And so as you're saying the mantra, And so for Katie and Shira and Drake, I think you're, Oh you're new too, As we're saying the mantra, Peace is not doubting, What we're doing is we're really leaving an imprint in our mind about the doubting, So we're more mindful of it, This is the beauty of the mantras, It's really helping us to see when we're going out about our day, When we catch it, It's like here we are just doubting ourselves, Kind of just the way that we typically talk to ourselves, And we recognize the doubt, Because we said peace is not doubting, And then we recognize that as the cue, Right, Ah, Let me investigate this, Let me investigate this, So as you say the words peace is not doubting, And you're counting them on your finger, Any thoughts that arise around peace is not doubting, The unwise doubting, The getting stuck in the doubting, Or even just recognizing like yeah, Bringing in the good doubting about things, Maybe I need to be a little more questioning, So any time that you're saying the mantra as well, When you're saying it, If any thoughts arise related to the mantra, Any thoughts that arise, Maybe some examples that you were thinking about, Wow, I was just doubting myself yesterday, Or now you're recognizing a mind movement from the other day, And you're like yeah, That was doubt, And it sounded like good advice, So that's helpful, It's giving more, More evidence that yeah, It got me trapped, I wasn't moving forward, I wasn't moving towards my practice, In fact it caused me to abandon my practice, Because at that moment I started scrolling on social media, Or I started doing something that wasn't particularly healthy or skillful for myself, Right, And I'm not saying that we can never do these things, But really just making sure that we see when we're avoiding something, When we're avoiding feeling something, So you're seeing that for yourself, Like yeah, I just got stuck in it, And then later it came back again in another form, Because the thing is, With all these mind movements, They don't, While they may subside for a while, Because we distracted ourselves, We numbed ourselves, Or kind of wandered off to do something else, They're not going away, They're just going to come back in other forms, And they're just going to keep catching us off guard, So we want to be able to come towards what it is that's here, And see, And what we're seeing again, With all of these being in the negation, Except for the sixth mantra, Because what we're seeing is the obstacles, What keeps taking us out of the present moment, The obstacle being the separate self, But the mind movements that it's most commonly doing, Right, These patterns that keep replaying over and over again, And we keep just seeing it over and over again, It keeps happening, And so we stop falling for it less, We recognize, Oh there's the doubting, Because we said peace is not doubting, Oh there's the chasing, Oh there's the comparing, There it is, Because we're more mindful of it, We're more aware of it, And so all of this is for each of you to see for yourselves, If it helps or not, If it leads you to less grasping, More freedom, If it's moving you closer to your practice, Then fantastic, Stick with it, If it's not, Then you should abandon it, If whatever practice or teaching that you are following is not leading to more freedom, Then you should abandon it, And I'm not saying like every single moment, But if we can see over time it's not leading to more freedom, Then we should abandon it, Oh and so Alice, Thank you for bringing that up, If you don't have the flexibility to touch each finger, Just maybe just go as far as you can, Try to do the three points if you can, Simply because the more, Like we could just do the top fingers of course, But the more complex the pattern is, The more we tend to retain it, We're very pattern-seeking, Pattern-remembering beings, And so the more that there's there's a bit of a bit more complexity to it, So maybe just do the very, Very top part, Okay, And bye Bob, Good to see you, Good to see you, Thanks for all your comments, Okay, Okay, So let's go ahead and we'll do our meditation, So it's 1. 39, We'll go till 1. 54, I just say that for myself so I don't forget, Because sometimes I do when we get in the meditation, I can't remember when we started, So I'll guide us through doing a couple deep breaths, I'm going to ask us the questions at our heart center, And then I'll also guide us when it's time to bring in the mantras, Okay, All right, So let's just, Oh yeah, And Lindsay, Using a mala also, If you've got mala beads and you want to use mala beads, Totally fine as well, Because you are getting that that sensory contact, So that's what's helpful, Yeah, Mala beads totally fine as well, Okay, So let's close our eyes, And just make any adjustments in your seat that you need to make, We've been sitting for a while, So make sure you're comfortable, And just take a few deep breaths in and out through the nose, So really big inhale, Filling up, Opening up, And a long, Slow exhale, And then another really big inhale, And as you exhale, That sense of release, Of letting go, And one more, Your biggest inhale yet, And as you exhale, Letting your shoulders relax, Just letting everything fall away, And then allowing your breath to be natural, Letting it flow at its own pace, Its own rhythm, And focusing on your breath at your heart center, In the center of your chest, Just imagine as if you're breathing in and out of your heart center, And ask yourself, What is it that you want more than anything else in the world for yourself? And we're looking inside to what it is that we intrinsically want to feel, To know, Our answer is not dependent upon anything in the external world, We're bypassing the middleman, And cutting right to what it is that we want, And often we can answer with peace, Contentment, Connection, Belonging, Whatever word speaks to you, As long as it's not dependent upon any external conditions, And now ask yourself, What could you do that would move you closer to what it is you want, Or what could you do less of that could move you closer to what it is you most want, Without any concern for whether it's something you want to do or something you're ready to give up yet, We're not forcing anything here, We are simply identifying the actions that are being taken throughout the day, Often the habitual actions, The unconscious ones, That end up leading us further away from what it is we most want, And then identifying some positive, More thoughtful, Conscious actions that can lead us closer. Now imagine all these seeds of our intentions dissolving into our heart center, Trusting that they will ripen in the right times for us, And then we'll bring in the mantra, So bringing the top of your thumb and the top of your pinky together, And silently saying, Peace is not doubting, And going to the middle of our pinky, Peace is not doubting, And the crease, Peace is not doubting. So one full inhale and exhale for each mantra, For each count, And any thoughts related to the mantra that arise can be entertained for a few moments, And then just redirecting our attention back to the mantra, Back to the breath, Back to the counting, And if it's more helpful to you, You can bring your attention to the breath, But your nose or feeling the breath as a whole, Just allowing that gentle cadence of the breath to guide the rhythm of the mantras, Of the counting, And now let the mantra go for the last couple minutes of the meditation, Let the counting go, And just allow your attention to gently rest on the breath, Just feeling that gentle expansion and softening with each breath, And as we begin to come out of the meditation, With a big inhale, Take your arms over your head with a big stretch, And as you exhale, Gently lower your arms, And slowly open your eyes. Okay, Hopefully that's clear to everyone on the meditation, And on the question, Shira, You're asking, I don't know what self-azimuth is. I don't know what azimuth is, If you could share. Maybe, And then I'll answer the question. Oh, You're very welcome, Alice, You're welcome. So, I do recommend, Try out the practices of physical term for direction. I'm still not clear on what you mean, Though, With the, I'll just, Actually, I'll just give a moment, Maybe a little better explanation, Because I think this is your first time here, Shira. So, And thank you, Thank you, Abigail, For the donation. Thank you. So, When we ask the question, What is it that we most want? What I'm trying to point us to is to that feeling that we want to have inside, The feeling that is the absence of the struggle, The absence of that monkey on our back, Which often we describe, What we want really is, Like, We say we want the new car, We want the new partner, We want the, We want the chocolate cake, But really what we want is that feeling that we think we're going to get from it. And as best, I think it's described, And most often what people answer is peace, That peace, That sense of not chasing, Not resisting, Right, The peace that is the absence of the struggle. But some other words that can describe it as well, Like contentment, Again, The absence of the struggle, Connection, Like a lot of people say they want connection, Like we're looking, Oh, I want more friends, I want more, I want more, I want another partner, Right, Because we're thinking we want connection that way, But really what we want is that sense of connection that's here from the absence of the separate self. That's what's, That's what's construct, That's what's obstructing the sense of connection, Right, So it's not dependent upon anything outside of us. The sense of belonging, The sense of that we don't belong comes from the separate self, Right, It comes from the sense that somehow I'm different and something inherently unlovable about me, Unbelonging about me, And so in the absence of the separate self, That sense of belonging is, Is a, In fact, Maybe not even naturally saying like belonging, But it's, It's that sense that, Well, No, That sense I belong, Yeah, Each one of us belongs, We're all like, We're a part of this, We can't not be a part of it. So in that way, In that way, That's what we're asking the question, Because we want to keep reminding ourselves of what it is important, We so easily get distracted by the little shiny bobble, Oh, No, No, I want that, Like we say we want peace, And then the next thing we're running after the chocolate cake, And it's like, No problem, Have the chocolate cake, But don't think the chocolate cake is going to give you the feeling of peace, It can't, Right, Enjoy the chocolate cake, Right, Enjoy it, But don't think that it can give you what, What is already your true nature, So in that way, Okay, Sure, It sounds like that, That made sense, Okay, Okay, And thank you, Thank you, David, For the donation, And so glad that you're here on your Monday morning, This is David with a lark, I think, It's always stayed in my mind for some reason, And thank you, Lindsay, Thank you for the meditation as well, Or for the donation as well, So, So thank you all so, So much, And so just for this week, I would ask, Right, Everyone has to do what they feel is right for them, But I would ask that you use the mantra peace is not doubting, And just three or four rounds of counting, And then you can let it go, You can then just allow your attention to just rest on the breath for however long you meditate, If it's 15 minutes, If it's 20 minutes, If it's 30 minutes, And, And notice, Notice, Do you catch the doubting a little more often, Is the practice leading to less suffering, If it's leading to, To less grasping, And grasping is suffering, Right, If it's leading to less of that, If it's leading to more mindful moments, More breaking out of the trance of separateness, Then keep going, And then what I would say is, Then we've got seven mantras in total, Each day, Do one mantra in your meditation, So, You know, That next morning, Then you do peace is not chasing, Right, On the eighth day, Peace is not chasing, And you're a little more mindful of the chasing that day, It doesn't mean you've forgotten the resisting, You haven't forgotten the doubting, You haven't forgotten the comparing, But you're just continuing to leave that imprint, Yeah, Peace is not chasing, So when you start chasing, Because the movement's going to happen, We're all conditioned for it, The movement's going to happen, So when it happens, You see it real time, And you see in that moment, We're so locked on what it is that we think we're going to get, And, And how happy we think this little me up here is going to get it, The me in my imagination, We don't even notice the suffering inside, We're so oblivious, We don't feel good, We don't feel good, So I'm not saying it's like, Oh, Blissful ignorance, We don't feel good, But we're so believing that, No, If I just got there, I would feel happier, But you get there, For a moment, You feel relief, Only because the chasing went away, The separate self went away, Because you got the object, And then it starts right back up again, Now the next thing, Now the next thing, So the mantras are to help you see this real time, So that you free yourself from it, Real time, That's where the wisdom and the compassion grows, That's where it goes, Grows, So T, And for Deb as well, I have put together on my group page, On my teacher's page, So there's a group page that's called Sangha, S-A-N-G-H-A, It's the only group that I have on my teacher's page, And I put together a playlist, So I did it like a personal playlist, And I put it on the group page, So you can find the other mantras there, So for for Deb, And for T, And thank you David, That's so nice of you, Thank you, Right now, At least, Just peace is not doubting, Peace is not doubting, Peace is not doubting, But then on the group page, If you go on there, You'll find the playlist, And you'll find the other mantras as well, Yeah, And and see if they work for you, See if they work, If they're working, And they're helpful, Great, If they're not, Abandon them, We should really, We should also be making sure that we are using more skeptical doubt in our practice as well, Healthy, Wise, Skeptical doubt, Not taking things at face value, None of this path works, If we just hear things and think that's enough, And that we think we're just going to believe it, We've been brainwashed too too much, The brainwashing of this, Of believing we're a separate, Independent, Permanent self thing, Is so ingrained in us, You got to see it real time, That's the ah, There it is, Oh my god, I thought I needed this out of the way, Actually, This was in the way, Just my thoughts, And the belief that there was a real solid me behind the thoughts, So yeah, I mean, That's, That's what we've got to catch, So all right, Thanks you guys, Thank you, Have a wonderful rest of your Sunday, And rest of your Monday for all of you in Australia, Thank you, Thanks