Poem: Don't Really Know.

An original poem by Heidi Fischer. This writing speaks to having Complex-PTSD, and the experience of being triggered. It describes becoming frozen, which leads to being unable to think or speak. It also describes how this can lead to dissociation. The poem opens/closes with chimes and light music plays in the background.

Music by Kevin Macleod: "On The Shore".

Transcript

Because you don't really know what you don't really know,

Until you don't really know you don't know it.

You sit kind of silent.

It feels kind of violent when you don't have the words to explain.

When they don't understand,

It reminds you of them,

And that feeling is full of deep sadness.

Vacuum the air out of me.

Turn my eyes,

Stop my heart.

Forget how to start.

Words icy and dark no longer flow out of me.

Can I just hide under the table?

Can the carpet and I become one?

Swaying with trees,

Adrift in the breeze,

Hover in woe,

Lost in the don't really know.

Swaying with trees,

Adrift in the breeze,

Hover in woe,

Lost in the don't really know.

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