Hello my friends,
Welcome to Healing Rest,
My name is Kalyani.
Thank you so much for joining me tonight as we work together to overcome imposter syndrome,
As we drift off into deep healing sleep.
Have you ever felt like you were a fraud,
Despite an overwhelming amount of evidence of your success or competence?
Many highly successful people suffer with this in quiet,
Feeling a persistent and sometimes debilitating self-doubt,
A fear that others will discover you are not really as capable as they think you are.
You may find yourself pushing to the extreme limits of over-preparing just to be seen as competent.
Perhaps you set unachievable goals and then feel disappointed when you fall short,
Or you may attribute your success to external factors,
Believing that your success is just due to luck,
Timing,
Or your ability to deceive others into thinking you are better than you really are.
Even not being able to accept when you do receive praise for your work,
Instead feeling unworthy or maybe embarrassed by that praise.
To be clear,
We are not talking about people that knowingly misrepresent themselves.
We are talking about people that have so many credentials and yet they still feel inadequate.
They have dedicated years of their life to their craft,
Countless hours honing their skills,
And somehow still do not feel good enough.
The ones who are always in another training,
Reading more,
Diving deeper.
Others would call them an expert,
But they simply cannot accept the depth of wisdom and knowledge that they possess.
Essentially,
It is a faulty feeling of not measuring up.
Sound familiar?
Imposter syndrome can be closely related to perfectionism,
Where people feel they need to always perform at their absolute best 100% of the time.
And when they make a normal human mistake,
Or even just do a good job instead of a great one,
They feel incompetent,
Worthless,
And anxious.
If this sparks something within you,
You are in the right place,
And you are not alone in this feeling.
But tonight,
We will work together to shift this perception,
To gain clarity and understanding,
Then drift off into healing rest.
Please make sure you are in a space where you feel protected and at ease.
No interruptions.
Covering your body,
And feel gravity wrapping around you like a comforting blanket.
Welcome yourself into a space of recharging,
Healing,
And deep sleep.
Let's begin by simply looking around your room.
Gazing at the ceiling above with curiosity.
Noticing its color and texture.
Feeling that it is protecting you from the outside world.
Next,
Begin to look at the walls surrounding you.
It's okay if it's dark,
And you can only see shadows and shapes.
Just notice any furniture or wall hangings without judgment.
Invite the strength of those walls to seep into your soul.
Settling into your room.
Creating the feeling of a sacred space all around you.
A space that is filled with the intention of feeling better.
Within this space,
We will find understanding,
Compassion,
And a deep knowing that we are not alone.
Then begin to feel the support of your bed holding you gently.
Allow your body to begin the process of letting go.
If you haven't already,
Invite your eyes to close gently.
External vision at rest.
The day is over.
There is nothing more you need to do.
You have done enough for today.
Please allow it to be enough.
Let's gather some beginning data.
Scan your body quickly from the top of your head all the way down to your toes.
Noticing how you feel.
Observing any areas that feel tight or tense.
No judgment.
Simple awareness of how you feel before your practice.
If you had to rate the level of stress and tension in your body right now,
On a scale of 1 to 10,
With 1 being no stress at all,
What would your starting number be?
Once your body is completely supported and at ease,
Allow stillness to spread from the top of your head all the way down to your feet.
Letting go of the busyness of your day.
Imagine you can breathe out your to-do list.
Breathe out all of your deadlines and stress.
Creating a comforting nest of ease and tranquility.
Bring your awareness to the spaces between your body and your bed.
Allow your body to soften and rest even more.
Notice as you begin to surrender into relaxation,
The spaces between your body and your bed become smaller and smaller.
Your body at ease,
Resting on your bed,
Allowing your breath to just naturally slow down.
Not forcing a change in the breath.
Simply give it permission to slow down.
In Yoganedra,
We tune into our body,
Becoming aware of our inner landscape without judgment.
No need to label what we find as good or bad.
Simple awareness.
Noticing sensations like an interior researcher.
There is nothing to fix or change.
You are not broken or damaged.
Simply noticing sensations.
By becoming aware of sensations within,
We allow our analyzing mind to rest,
While we stay fully present in our physical experience.
Our brain cannot worry and feel at the same time.
So by noticing sensations,
We get our mind to grow quiet.
This bottom-up approach gives our nervous system time to stand down.
As we connect fully to our emotions,
This level of awareness will assist us in reducing chronic stress and tension.
It will help us to improve our emotional regulation and help us to process trauma by releasing stored tension in our body,
Improving our decision-making and enhancing our resilience.
We will begin by setting our intention,
Our sankalpa.
Take some time now to formulate your positive I AM statement.
If one doesn't come to mind,
That's okay.
I encourage you to use the sankalpa I AM AWARE.
Please repeat your sankalpa three times with feeling.
Let's begin by shifting our breath now,
Focusing on the sensations in our body so we can get out of our mind.
Begin to breathe slow and steady through your nose.
With each inhalation,
Feel all the muscles that assist you in drawing the breath in.
With every exhalation,
Feel the muscles squeezing out every last drop of air,
Creating even more space for your next inhalation.
Total awareness on all of the movement happening within the stillness.
I'll give you a few moments to explore the feeling of your breath moving in and your breath moving out,
And then you will hear my voice again.
Allow your body to be at rest and your mind to be alert as we trust the body to maintain this steady,
Easy rhythm of breath.
Breath moving in and out of your nose with ease.
Now together,
Let's take a journey of sensation throughout the body.
We will remain in comfortable stillness as we simply shift our attention to different parts of the body.
Maintain curiosity without judgment.
We simply notice sensations in the part of the body mentioned without attaching emotions to it.
Remember there is nothing to change or fix here.
Simple awareness.
Then ask that body part to be at ease as we move onto the next place within that needs our attention.
Where attention goes,
Energy flows.
So allow this to be a journey of self-love.
You deserve your total awareness for this little sliver of time.
No longer judging or criticizing this body.
We will give each part our undivided attention and be open to any messages it may have for us.
Before we begin this journey,
Please remember that your mind is designed to think.
Make no attempt to stop the flow of thoughts.
It is totally normal to go in and out of conscious hearing.
Each time you notice that you have drifted off into thinking,
That's okay.
Please allow my voice to be that of a trusted friend and guide.
Lovingly bringing you back to the present moment over and over again.
And back to the journey of exploring sensations in your body.
The fact that you noticed you were thinking means that you are doing this right.
Be easy with yourself.
Notice sensations on your right hand.
Feel your right hand thumb.
Pointer finger.
Middle finger.
Ring finger.
Finger.
Pinky finger.
Sensations in the palm of your right hand.
Allow the back of your right hand to grow heavy.
Melting into the support beneath it.
Notice sensations on the tips of your right fingers.
The whole right hand alive with vibration.
Invite that sensation of tingling into your right wrist,
Forearm,
Elbow,
Upper arm alive with sensation.
Feel the entire right shoulder growing heavy.
Pulsating.
Letting go.
Allow the entire right arm to surrender into the bed.
Feeling held and supported.
No need to stay tight and ready.
Just ease and relaxation in the entire right arm.
Flow your awareness to the right collarbone softening.
Hollow of your throat.
Right chest.
Right armpit.
The right ribs gently opening like the gills of a fish with your inhale and knitting back together with your exhale.
Feel all of the spaces between the right ribs.
Sensations in the right waist.
Low belly and low back.
Right hip alive with vibration.
Feel the upper leg.
Right knee.
Lower leg.
Ankle.
Heel.
Top of the right foot.
Sole.
Right big toe.
Second toe.
Third toe.
Fourth toe.
And fifth toe.
Rest your awareness in the sensations you discover on the tips of your toes.
The whole right leg at ease.
Still but alive with sensation.
Notice sensations on your left hand.
Feel your left hand thumb.
Pointer finger.
Middle finger.
Ring finger.
Pinky finger.
Sensations in the palm of your left hand.
Allow the back of your left hand to grow heavy.
Melting into the support beneath it.
Notice sensations on the tips of your left fingers.
The whole left hand alive with vibration.
Invite the sensation of tingling into your left wrist.
Forearm.
Elbow.
Arm alive with sensation.
Feel the entire left shoulder growing heavy.
Pulsating.
Letting go.
Allow the entire left arm to surrender into the bed.
Feeling held and supported.
No need to stay tight and ready.
Just ease and relaxation in the entire left arm.
Flow your awareness to the left collarbone softening.
Hollow of your throat.
Left chest.
Left armpit.
The left ribs.
Gently opening like the gills of a fish with your inhale.
And knitting back together with your exhale.
Feel all of the spaces between the left ribs.
Sensations in the left waist.
Low belly.
Left hip alive with vibration.
Feel the upper leg.
Left knee.
Top of the left foot.
Right foot.
Left foot.
Right foot.
Left foot.
Right foot.
Left foot.
Right foot.
Fourth toe.
And fifth toe.
Rest your awareness in the sensations you discover on the tips of your left toes.
The whole left leg at ease.
Still but alive with sensation.
Observe a feeling of openness at the top of your head.
Feel the entire scalp.
Notice your right ear hearing.
Left ear hearing.
Feel both ears receiving the vibration of sound.
Follow the sound deep into your ears.
Attempt to find the space between your ears.
And rest there for a moment.
Feel your forehead.
Right eyebrow.
Left eyebrow.
The space between your eyebrows alive with sensation.
Feel your right eye as radiant vibration.
Feel your left eye alive with sensation.
Notice both eyes together.
Invite your eyes to grow even heavier as your closed eyes gaze up toward the space between your eyebrows.
What sensations do you discover on your nose?
Feel the right nostril.
Feel the left nostril.
Both nostrils together.
Tip of the nose.
Inside the nose.
Air moving from the outside in.
Through the nose and spreading throughout the entire body.
Cool air moving in.
Warm air moving out.
Come back to sensations on the face.
Feeling the right cheek.
Left cheek.
Chin.
Jaw.
Hinge of the jaw softening.
Feel the upper lip.
Feel the lower lip.
Rest for a moment in the space between the lips.
Feel the upper teeth and gums.
Lower teeth and gums.
Is there any space between the upper and lower teeth?
Become curious.
Are there any tastes lingering on your tongue?
The entire tongue allowed to rest.
Remember no judgment,
Simple awareness of what is present right now.
Observe your neck and throat.
Breathing out any stubbornness you discover there.
No longer holding in angry words.
Feeling free to speak your truth.
What you have to say matters.
Then feel your heart center softening.
Allow yourself to feel safe enough to be open and begin to break down the wall of protection around your heart.
Feel sensation at your solar plexus.
Softening your determination.
There is no goal here.
Just awareness and openness.
As you ask all internal organs to be relaxed and at ease.
Sensations just below your belly button.
Pelvic floor softening.
Base of the spine alive with sensation.
Now let's begin to ride the wave of our breath from the base of our spine up to the top of our head.
Becoming a clear channel for the breath to move through.
You may feel this breath moving through the center of your body as sensation.
Or see it as healing white light traveling from the base of your spine up to the top of your head.
However you experience your breath is fine.
Simply ride the wave of your breath up and down your spine.
The cosmic tide of prana.
Stay with your breath as it flows up your spine.
Golden.
Vibrant.
Radiant.
And down your spine.
Warming.
Brilliant.
Vital.
Now that our mind and body are at ease.
Our nervous system is regulated and balanced.
Let's practice noticing sensations and feelings without attaching any emotions to what we discover.
Calling to mind a recent experience where your imposter syndrome felt activated.
Stay fully present here in the support of your bed.
Join by like-minded people around the world.
As you remember that situation.
And as you find yourself observing that memory.
Notice the sensations in your body.
When you felt like you were not enough.
How did that feel in your body?
What words would you use to describe that emotion in your body?
We are simply an interior researcher.
We are the awareness watching this memory play out.
Now together,
Let's explore separating feelings from fact.
Understanding that feeling like a fraud does not actually make you one.
It's just a feeling,
Not the truth.
Remember that each time the imposter feeling rises up,
State quietly within,
This is just a feeling,
Not the truth.
It's just a feeling.
It's just a feeling,
Not the truth.
It's just a feeling.
Affirming you have done the work.
You have earned your position.
If you couldn't see or acknowledge your ability,
Others see the greatness in you.
The simple fact that we have labeled these imposter feelings takes their power away.
Reflect on how far you have come.
Shifting your attention away from the feeling of inadequacy to all of your many accomplishments,
It's time to reframe our thinking.
No one is perfect.
We are all perfectly imperfect.
Glorious in our humanness.
Each perceived mistake is just an opportunity to learn and grow,
To better ourselves.
There is nothing to be ashamed of.
Each setback gives us more information that we can use next time.
So when that little voice within says,
I don't know what I'm doing,
Change it to,
I'm still learning and that's okay.
I'm still learning and that's okay.
Smart people never stop learning.
Even Michelangelo was quoted saying,
I am still learning.
When we make a mistake and we own it,
Maybe even laugh it off as we jokingly bring attention to it instead of running away.
That has a profound impact on all those around us.
They see this person that they admire and look up to being human.
It gives them permission to feel like they are enough.
No person is infallible.
And yet we hold ourselves to that standard.
Sometimes the mistakes make the greatest stories that we can laugh about later.
We can choose to even shift into celebrating our failure,
Valuing the effort,
The lessons learned,
More than just the outcome.
Many times in life,
It's not what happened to us that matters.
What matters is how did we respond.
In every mistake is an opportunity to learn more about ourselves.
What does that voice within say when we do not achieve perfection?
Would you speak to a friend like that if they made the same mistake,
Or would you have compassion and understanding for them?
Instead of focusing on being perfect,
We can focus on the value we bring,
The contributions we make to the team,
Our depth of knowledge.
There is a reason you are called to this work.
The mistake just identifies an area that you can improve on next time,
Embracing the growth,
But letting go of the self-judgment,
The self-doubt,
And embarrassment.
Taking Nelson Mandela's words into your heart,
I never lose,
I either win or learn.
Then fully recognize and acknowledge the skills you already possess.
Instead of wasting so much time focusing on that one little mistake,
What did you do well?
Where did you feel at ease,
Confident,
And in control?
Make a mental list of all that you have overcome and achieved.
Give yourself credit.
Give yourself grace.
Come back to the slow and easy rhythm of breath.
Feel the breath falling in and out of your body with ease,
Becoming curious about the Together,
Let's gather some ending data.
Scan your body quickly from the top of your head all the way down to your toes,
Just like we did at the beginning of this practice.
Noticing how you feel.
Observing any areas that still feel tight or tense.
No judgment,
Simple awareness of how you feel after your practice.
If you had to rate the level of stress and tension in your body right now,
On a scale of 1 to 10,
With 1 being no stress at all,
What would your ending number be?
Then think back to your sankalpa,
Your intention for practicing,
And repeat it again now three times with feeling.
If you chose the group intention,
Simply repeat,
I am aware.
Yoga Nidra is now complete.
Thank you for making the time to help yourself feel better.
Feel free to slowly and gently reawaken your body,
In your own time,
And into deep healing rest.
Allowing this work to seep in deeply.
Feeling confident and ready to face all opportunities with grace and ease.
Choosing to respond to adversity,
Instead of allowing it to pull us off our center.
Giving ourselves permission to never stop learning and growing,
But also feel that we can give ourselves credit for a job well done.
Thank you,
My friends,
For trusting me to be your guide tonight.
I have a very deep respect and love for all of us who are embracing our recovering perfectionist within,
Finding compassion and ease.
Sleep well,
My friends.
