The Consequences Of…Everything

There are times when I say something harsh or in anger. This feels hard to face and even harder to write, but it’s true – and maybe for you, too. For me there’s relief in facing and naming it.

The consequences are also hard to face: the harm I’ve caused, and its boomerang effect. I don’t mean in some cosmic way, but right in that moment: the impatience that results in impatience, the scorn that flashes right back to me. Do you know what I mean?

So I’m learning the consequences of anger and harsh words. And not only that, those consequences are big and wide, and something we see in the world, but also something we want to avoid moment by moment. Which we can, by practicing kindness instead. Which might feel like a tall order right now, but not so tall that we can’t see over to the other side, where there’s the possibility of peace.

Transcript

Okay, Let's get started. So hey, Everybody, It's Judy, This is Wake Up Call 542. Coming back to the Dhammapada and we are at chapter 10 and in two of the three translations I've been reading this chapter is called violence so it's a heavy chapter or a heavy title, But it's a good one. So the verses begin with, And they're mainly about, All beings tremble before violence. All fear death. All love life. See yourself in others. Then whom can you hurt? What harm can you do? They who seek happiness by hurting those who seek happiness will never find happiness. For your sibling is like you. They want to be happy. Never harm them and when you leave this life you too will find happiness. Never speak harsh words for they will rebound upon you. Angry words hurt and the hurt rebounds. Okay, So we know this. We were taught as children, We learned when we were older, But we know that all beings love life. We know that violence and harm frighten everyone. And on some level, We know that everyone is our sibling and just wants to be happy. On some level, We know this. And we may also know, And this can be from our upbringing or from hard experience, That harsh words, Angry words, And pain rebound. My mom had a lot of anger from some terrible things in her family. So there was a lot of pain, You know, There was love, But there was anger, There was pain. So it was the water that I swam in, And it conditioned me. And maybe I was also primed from some other life as well, Who knows, You know, But I was primed in childhood. And I was many years into adulthood before I saw how, How anger and harsh words had shaped me and also how they informed the way that I spoke also. And maybe, I mean, I think it's very possible that I was drawn to the law because we sanction harsh words. You know, Again, Who knows if that's what was happening, But we do, Right? We sanction, We even encourage harsh words. Anger is allowed, It's expected, Particularly when it's directed towards someone we think deserves it, You know, In air quotes. The other side opposing counsel the judge ice the system right so anger and If we're thinking, Oh, Well, Anger is not me, But it's anger, But it's also anger's cousins. So snarkiness and disgust and disdain and scorn. All of these are allowed. They're all sanctioned. And In many situations, They're good jokes to make, Right? The trouble is. . . Harsh words, Anger, Pain, Like all the things that we practice, They become habits of mind. And yeah, The Buddha was very clear about this. The Dhammapada has talked about this, That whatever we think and ponder becomes the inclination of the mind. So anger, Harsh words, Pain. When we practice them as we're practicing law. Even or maybe especially if we don't know we're doing that, But especially if we do know we're doing that. Then they become inclinations of the mind, Right? And we may see it or we may not. We may think that moderate anger. Right, Or a few harsh words, Or just a little snarkiness is okay. Or we might think we can get away with that. Or we might think that if we're funny enough. We can use the harsh words, The snarky words, Because after all, People are laughing. Um. . . But this chapter of the Dhammapada is basically saying no. It's saying harsh words, Anger, Harm, They're never justified. And that everyone is the same and just wants to be happy. Everyone, Not just our side, Not just the people who look like us or think like us. And since everyone wants to be happy and this harshness destroys happiness, It's just a full stop now. Um. . . And yeah, There are many people in the world who don't seem to have read this chapter. But this chapter isn't about them, Right? We're not here to practice together. Because it's about them, It's the chapter, The practice, It's about us. It's about we can do what we can do. Or maybe it's about what we should do. No matter that the world is what it is and there are people causing harm everywhere, Right? Okay, So, And then the language gets even stronger. And here's what the chapter says happens to those of us who don't heed this instruction. You know, This is one of those fire and brimstone passages. They will endure intense pain. They will suffer disastrous losses and terrible injury, Serious illness, Madness. Or they will come in conflict with authority. They will be the object of gross calumny. They will lose their near ones or their possessions, Or else fire will destroy their dwelling place. And at the time of the dissolution of their body, They will be reborn in hell. So yeah, A lot of paths have this fire and brimstone element to them, And this path is no exception. But I would say it's not equivocal. Uhhh. . . And then, You know, In the commentary, So Shreeman notes that when these first words were first spoken, Which is 2600 years ago, Humans live closer to nature and we understood good and evil more clearly. And then she says, A kind of now, A kind of hypocrisy. And the now that she's talking about is almost 100 years ago, By the way. But in the now, She says there's a kind of hypocrisy, Pretension, Underhanded duplicity, Seems to have taken possession of the human mind. And we have learned to deceive ourselves in a most pernicious way. In those times, One could say, Don't do harm, You will be punished. Hearts were simple and the mind as well. And one said, Yes, It is better not to do harm because I will be punished. But now with an ironic smile, We say, Oh. I shall surely find a way to avoid punishment. So. I agree with her assessment of the now. I don't know if people were any different 2, 600 years ago. I mean, The Buddha taught for a reason. But anyway, Forget what maybe we would call the big picture karma that these lines are talking about, That if we cause harm, We'll suffer intense pain and disastrous losses and madness and more, Right? Just consider how this works in the everyday, Right? Consider how it's worked in your own life over, Say, The last month, If you've had a moment of anger or a harsh word or a snarky word just in the last month, Right? And what happened? So if it was in the context of work, What happened? Or in the context of a particular relationship, You know, Might've been with someone you love, Might've been with someone you don't love. I would say that my experience. Because I do have some moments from the last month. Is that harsh words act like a boomerang. So they come right back to me. And I don't know, Maybe this is karma, Maybe it's mirror neurons. But when I speak with anger, When I use harsh words, When I'm snarky, I tend to get it right back. And it could be so trivial, It could be the barista, The call center person, Could be somebody. In my personal life who senses impatience and becomes impatient with me. But no matter how trivial, It is intensely painful. I do feel the suffering. These days I feel remorse more than anything. And sometimes it does feel like a kind of madness. Like, Why is this happening and keeps happening? And sometimes I do feel like I'm in conflict with authority, Some kind of inner authority that knows better. And I will also say and you know this is just a this is my view and maybe not even appropriate to see things this way because this is the big karma but I've lost people and things that I've cared about not just metaphorically and I think because of my words maybe not solely because But not not because. So, Yeah. It's been my very painful experience. That pain and suffering do arise. And loss. When I bring anger or harsh words or snarky words or cause harm and I feel like the Dhammapada is telling us this or reminding us of this, We know this, Or warning us of this so that Not only can the recipients of those harsh words be spared, But also so that we can be spared some of that pain. And I also feel like if we each heed this advice and share it with one another, Even if just by example, Which is plenty, Then we can spare others some of that pain too. Okay, So, Um, Let's sit. So finding your posture for right now. If you're sitting, Be upright. Let the body settle into the chair or the couch or the seat of your car. Close the eyes unless you're driving. Or unless that's not. Doesn't feel safe. In which case Lower them. And gaze at the heart. Let me just take a, If you're standing. Stand in mountain pose if you can. That stable. Thank you. Even stance. If you're lying down, Relax. Actually, In any posture, Relax. And see if you can recognize as you're just settling in and seeing what's present. See if you can recognize. If emotions, If some of the emotions that come and go, Some of the feelings, Some of the words, The thoughts, Arrgh. Infused with anger. Or any of its cousins. Irritation. Impatience. Even a slight sense of grumbliness. Yes, The invitation for this. This set is to just become familiar with. What these states of mind and states of heart feel like in the body so that they're recognizable. Not to judge them, And also notice they come and go. Just to see if you can become familiar. Just this very gentle and curious exploration of how it feels when these states of mind or these states of heart arise. And that way, When they arise in another context, We can say, Oh, That's what that is. Maybe not. And if nothing is arising for you, No anger, No ill will, Then that's pretty great too. So that's not a problem. And then the last invitation just to take this exploration with you into your day. Yeah, And see what you can notice. Because we can't course correct anything we don't notice. Thanks everybody for being here. Nice to see you all.