Taming The Runaway Mind

I have a mind that tends to run away with me. Not in a romantic way like taking a beautiful drive down the coast, but in a way where it spins out of control and suddenly I'm stuck in a skipping record of worry, fear, anger, or something worse. In mindfulness parlance, this is a "hell realm." It's a place I know all too well. Maybe you do, too. The antidotes are remembering it's just a runaway mind (the most usual thing in the world), taking responsibility for any harm done (ug - the most uncommon)

Transcript

Hi everyone,

It's Judy Cohen and this is Wake Up Call 345.

And today's topic is taming the runaway mind.

But the original topic was remembering that hell is optional.

And I had that in the email and then I just didn't feel comfortable sending that out.

Maybe because I don't think I'd ever seen the word hell used in mindfulness trainings.

And so I read chapter 22 of the Dhammapada,

Which is where we are,

But it's actually the title of that chapter.

And it feels like it's being used to make a point and it's not a metaphysical or religious point.

Or at least I'm not going to talk about it that way.

I'm going to talk about hell as a place we get to,

You know,

All on our own,

All by ourselves in any given moment.

Just by letting our mind run away from,

Or run away,

Not from us,

Run away with us.

And the first time I learned this was I was on retreat at Spirit Rock Meditation Center,

Which is,

If you haven't been there,

It's this gorgeous,

Nurturing,

And for me,

Very safe place in the hills of Northern California.

And it was about day three of a retreat when I started obsessing about this person who was causing me a lot of pain.

They were treating me horribly.

They were being unfair.

They were being nasty.

They were getting in my way and on and on and on.

And this lasted for days.

And yeah,

If you're seeing the screen,

This was me.

And finally,

I had my regularly scheduled meeting with my teacher.

You get to meet with a teacher every three days when you're on retreat for a long retreat.

And he tried to shift my point of view to something more spacious and I couldn't understand.

And then he tried to help me see that this thought pattern wasn't personal and it still felt personal.

And then he reminded me that the situation was impermanent and it sure didn't feel that way to me.

So nothing he offered stuck because my mind was stuck.

And finally,

He just looked at me and he said,

Hell realm.

And he dismissed me.

And that dismissal had a huge impact.

You know,

I was confused at the time.

It was a few months of sitting with what he said before I got what he said.

But when I finally did,

I could see what hell realm was and that I'd created that hell realm all by myself for myself with my own runaway mind.

And so chapter 22 is about how.

And the chapter begins with a verse that says in part,

Those who assert what is not true go to hell,

As do those who deny what they've done.

And then it names three ways that we either assert what is not true or deny what we've done and end up in hell or in a hell realm like I did at one of the most idyllic places in the whole world.

So here are the ways.

Being ashamed of what's not shameful and not ashamed of what is.

That's the first one.

Seeing danger in what's not dangerous and not seeing danger in what is.

And then finding fault in what's not at fault and seeing no fault in what is.

So by now we're all familiar with the sort of riddle-like way of saying what is.

We're all familiar with the sort of riddle-like nature almost of the mindfulness teaching.

So I'm trying to unpack this.

Being ashamed of what's not shameful.

It's an inquiry into,

I think it's an inquiry into unwholesome states of mind.

And it's an invitation not to be ashamed of them.

Because anger and envy and greed and others,

They're uncomfortable,

But they arise because we're human.

And because when the conditions are right,

You know,

Pow,

There they are.

And also because they feel so solid,

Even when we know on some intellectual level,

Maybe that they're impermanent.

And because even though we're meditating,

You know,

We haven't purified our minds completely.

And so these states of mind are still possible.

Even His Holiness the Dalai Lama said when he was asked if he was still angry at the Chinese for taking over Tibet,

He said,

Almost not.

Right?

So maybe we're not there also.

So being ashamed of what's not shameful is being ashamed of unwholesome states of mind that are perfectly human and not shameful.

The consequence of shame is a different matter.

Because at least for me,

Shame can preoccupy and make it less likely that I'll catch these states of mind before they infuse my words or my actions and cause pain,

Cause suffering.

And when that happens,

Then shame makes it more likely that we'll turn away,

We'll deny,

We'll try and explain,

We'll try and justify.

So not being shameful of what is shameful is maybe not being ashamed of the turning away,

The denying,

The explaining,

The justifying.

Right?

So upshot.

Don't be ashamed of unwholesome states of mind.

They're unavoidable.

They're impermanent.

They're not personal.

Do be mindful and turn towards them so they don't take you for a ride and cause harm.

And when you miss them,

Which we all do,

Then be ashamed.

Right?

But don't spend much time on shame.

Right?

Put that energy into making amends,

Being self-compassionate and cultivating your practice so this happens less often in the future.

Okay,

Number two,

Seeing danger in what's not dangerous,

The first half of it,

Is I think seeing the danger and taking responsibility for the harm we've caused.

And that happens for me mostly when I'm afraid to admit I've caused harm because I don't want to feel badly about myself.

But there's really no danger,

You know,

Because there's no such thing as a solid in my life.

You know,

Because there's no such thing as a solid immovable self.

We're all just these collections of experiences in motion changing and morphing as we encounter our day-to-day world.

On the other hand,

Not seeing danger in what is dangerous is that missing the danger of forgetting that we're these beautiful kaleidoscopes who need to take responsibility for any harm we're causing and then make amends and then be self-compassionate.

Because when we forget that and deny or explain or justify,

We just end up causing more harm.

All right,

And finally,

The third one,

Finding fault in what's not at fault is about blaming the weather,

The traffic,

Opposing counsel,

Our mom.

You know the old saying,

If it's not one thing,

It's your mother,

Right?

But none of which,

None of whom are at fault for our unwholesome states,

Right?

And seeing no fault in what is at fault is really forgetting to be mindful,

Not taking responsibility to practice more diligently if we're slipping into unwholesome states of mind a lot,

Right?

Because what the practice tells us and shows us,

And of course you have to see if this is true for you,

Verify it for yourself,

Is that those hell realms where I'm stuck in this blaming and anger and fear and can't get out and can't even see it,

They're avoidable if we're diligent.

Hell is avoidable if we're diligent with our practice.

So,

Back to the first verse,

Those who assert what is not true go to hell,

As do those who deny what they've done.

So when we're paying attention,

Remembering nothing is permanent or personal,

Taking responsibility,

And remembering to be loving and self-compassionate,

Including our maybe especially to ourselves,

Then chances are we're asserting the truth,

We're not asserting what's not true,

And we're also owning what we've done.

And when we do that,

Chances are that we'll end up in hell or we'll end up in hell realms like the one I landed in at that retreat,

Much less often.

Okay,

So let's sit.

So letting go of all of the words,

Especially because those words could evoke one of those states,

A memory of one of those states or one of them,

And just letting go of the words,

Coming to the body,

And just feeling yourself sitting,

If you're sitting,

Standing,

If you're standing,

Walking,

If you're walking,

Lying down,

If you're lucky enough to be lying down,

Feel the points of contact of the body with the chair or the earth,

Feel the points of contact of the body with the chair or the earth,

And then feeling the breath,

Just the sensation of breathing,

Breathing in,

Breathing out,

Breathing out,

Breathing out,

And if the breath is not a resonant whole base for the attention,

Doesn't feel safe,

And shifting the attention to the sound in the environment and just noticing the sound as it arises and passes away,

Changes,

Passes away.

And maybe you'll be lucky enough to have one of these unwholesome states show up.

Maybe anger will show up or maybe greed or maybe jealousy or one of these states of mind will show up and you'll be lucky enough to turn toward and welcome it.

Oh,

This is anger.

And developing that warm sense of welcome and tolerance.

So you that warm-heartedness towards whatever is arising.

And maybe consider making a commitment to yourself to to do what my friend Ronda McGee always advises to do when taking a look at the difficulties of racism is to take a long loving look and maybe we could import that into and can we take a long loving these unwholesome states.

Just for today.

So thanks everybody for being on a week ago.

Great to see you all.

Take care.

Be safe.

I'll see you next Thursday.