Equanimity As Things Unfold

By the time of this Wake-Up Call, we'd all be so careful for so long. It had been exhausting but also, safe. The question was, how were people feeling about venturing out? Some days I had the balance, the equilibrium, to do it. Sometimes not. Equanimity helped. Equanimity can support openness to experience: the experience of connecting and of retreat; the experience of suffering, and of joy. But equanimity is a practice.

Transcript

Hello everyone and welcome to the wake up call.

This is Judy Cohen and this is wake up call 295.

And today's call is equanimity as things unfold.

Here we are again.

And again,

It feels like a lot is happening.

I can't,

I really can't remember a time before the last year or two when so much happens each day,

Whether it's the news cycle or just things in ordinary life,

Whatever ordinary life is right now.

So I feel like we need equanimity now more than ever,

Or I need equanimity now more than ever.

And in the last few weeks,

What I can say is I've had moments of equanimity when I feel open and balanced and able to be with whatever is happening.

And then suddenly I'm not feeling it.

I'm unstable.

I'm anxious.

I'm angry.

I'm fearful.

And I'm pretty sure a good bit of it is about what's happening right now in the macro global sense,

The world opening up slowly.

It feels like watching a clam opening for a little water,

A little nourishment,

Then it closes.

It opens,

It closes.

It's kind of creaky.

Or it's like watching my dad who's 85 almost,

Unfold himself up out of the chair slowly.

Glad to be getting up and stretching.

Also glad to fold back up and sit down.

And each crease that unfolds,

Walking down a not too busy street with my mask at my throat until I'm near someone and then pulling it up instead of covering my face a hundred percent of every moment.

Having coffee with somebody outside,

Having coffee with somebody inside.

I actually haven't done that yet.

In a year,

I haven't gone for an indoor coffee and probably many of us haven't.

Isn't that amazing?

What we haven't done.

Yeah,

Getting ready to think about having friends over for dinner indoors,

Which feels even scary to say that out loud.

Each of these unfolding-nesses,

If you will,

Have within them the seeds of joy,

Relaxation,

Let it go into the moment,

A kind of equanimity,

But they also have the seeds of anxiety and fear.

And each moment we really do get to choose.

And if we don't choose,

Then the moment will choose us and we'll be riffing off of our old habits and patterns,

Or at least the habits and patterns we've developed over the last year,

Kind of for better or worse.

So I want to share what's really helping me right now.

One of the basic practices,

Also super powerful practice,

The STOP practice.

And this is how I'm using STOP these days,

A little more specifically than before.

So S,

STOP.

The S actually stands for the word STOP.

It's stop,

Take a breath or take a moment,

Observe,

Proceed.

So the S for STOP.

I'm literally stopping in my tracks kind of a dozen times a day and it's only for a second or two.

So far,

No one's banged into me on the sidewalk or in the house,

But I'm literally stopping in my tracks and not just stopping momentum wise,

But stopping and grounding,

Feeling the ground beneath my feet.

Even if it's soaking wet,

It's pretty gray here and wet here in Portland,

At least for this California girl.

And really touching in to the earth,

Imagining beneath the concrete,

Or if I'm indoors beneath the floorboard,

The earth,

Solid right there,

Steady,

Holding me,

Holding all of us,

Sensing into the comfort of that.

So that's the S of STOP right now.

And I really recommend it.

And then T,

Take a moment or take a breath.

So if breath is your home base,

I love Roshi Jones' instruction on the in-breath,

Pay attention to the breath,

How it feels as it flows into the body,

The openness it creates,

The focus it can offer,

That point of focus.

And then the out-breath connect again,

Connect to the earth,

Round again.

So basically using the T of STOP to create almost a rhythm of presencing and grounding,

Presencing and grounding.

And if breath doesn't feel like a safe or comforting place,

Then T can be take a moment to listen,

See what sounds are in the room or in the park or on the street.

What can you hear allowing the sound or maybe even the waves of sound to presence you and ground you,

Presence you and ground you.

And then the really big one for equanimity practice for me these days is the O of STOP,

Which is for observe,

O,

Observe.

And right now for me,

Observe has three parts.

First,

Observe what's happening internally and externally.

So observe how you're doing,

What's going on right in this moment.

Is there joy there?

Is there peace there?

Is there fear there?

Is there agitation?

And observe how the people you're with virtually or physically are doing.

So what can you sense mindfulness from the inside and then mindfulness externally,

Really looking at the person on the screen or the person in the room.

Or the person on the street.

And then observe your internal experience as you're being with this other human.

Right.

What is my experience as I'm being with this other human being?

And then what formations,

What old habits and patterns can I see that I'm bringing to the moment?

So taking a look and seeing what habits and patterns are here for you that I'm that you're bringing.

So that's the first part.

Observe what's happening internally and externally.

Second part of observe.

What are your choices?

So.

Observe which choices will lead to joy and equanimity,

Even hard choices having to do with advocacy still,

Which ones will lead to joy and equanimity and which ones will lead to fear,

Anxiety,

Sorrow.

And then the third piece of the O of observe,

Observe your intentions.

So in the first case,

Observe whether you even have got an intention in that moment.

And if not set one.

And the easiest intention to remember,

Maybe not always the easiest one to set in an adversary world,

But the easiest one to remember is do no harm.

Or set the intention to be solid,

To stand in the middle of things,

To see things as they are,

To accept things as they are.

That's the equanimity intention.

And even help,

It's even helpful to remember the equanimity phrase,

May I accept things as they are,

Possibly use that phrase.

It can be a really powerful support.

And this isn't accept the world as it is and do nothing.

Of course,

This is this moment,

Accept this moment as it is.

And then proceed to speak or act informed by your intention.

Hopefully proceed to act by standing in the middle of things,

Seeing things as they are,

Accepting the moment,

Even as you work really hard to change things.

And hopefully pointing at joy,

Pointing at peace,

Even if that's a far away goal,

Continuing to point in that direction.

If this is useful,

You can see what your experience is.

If you try this version of stop,

This is a kind of equanimity based version.

And what I'm noticing is it can really bring a lightness to the moment.

A little more letting go of what you're seeing.

It can really bring a lightness to the moment,

A little more letting go of what should be happening,

What I want to be happening,

And a little more accepting of what is happening.

For example,

Yesterday I was out and about in drugstore and I had an experience of anxiety,

That whole heart racing thing,

Wanting to get out of there.

But I had stuff to get and using stop,

I could just turn to my experience of suffering,

My personal experience,

And ground and observe it.

Take a moment and observe it.

Remember my intention.

Pick up the prescription,

Be kind to everyone along the way,

And move on.

And yesterday I also had an experience of witnessing someone else's suffering.

I was at the lawyer wellbeing conference and I heard someone talking about having been hospitalized with COVID.

And wow,

The suffering of laying on their stomach for six hours a day and no visitors and all the medical personnel not wanting to come in the room because they had to change their PPE every time they did that.

And the fear and feeling like they had shame about being sick and not wanting to,

Not wanting to have done something wrong and they didn't want their firm to know.

And feeling really terrible,

Feeling really sick on top of all of that.

I could barely live.

I was almost in tears,

But stop,

Ground,

Connect to the earth.

Take a moment,

See what's there,

Observe that aversiveness,

Wanting to move away from the situation,

The feelings I was having,

But then remembering the intention to be present and be compassionate and to do that.

So may I accept things as they are.

Sometimes for me,

It's,

It's almost like a prayer.

Okay,

So let's sit together.

So first just coming to whatever posture will support your practice.

Bringing your whole experience to the next level.

Your practice,

Bringing your whole experience to your practice,

Bringing your body.

Touching in this moment.

Maybe even considering the practice today as a kind of 10 minutes,

Stop practice.

So where wherever you are,

Whether you're sitting or standing or lying down or walking,

Or on the move,

Taking a moment to ground,

To connect to the earth.

Knowing on some level we're just elemental.

Our bodies are just made of the elements that the earth is made out of.

So we're truly part of the earth.

Take a breath,

The breath of presencing and grounding.

We're open to the sounds around you in the room,

On the street,

In the car,

Wherever you are.

And then observe.

How is this moment for you?

What's going on in this whole mind-body process right in this moment?

No judgment,

No assessment,

Just attention to whatever is.

And then what are your choices?

A friend and colleague described the other day noticing a lot of grumpiness in their morning meditation.

And at first just noting grumpy and then realizing,

Wait,

I could actually shift this.

To self-compassion or to caring about someone else.

So what are your choices?

And then what's your intention?

And really the invitation is to set the intention to accept things as they are.

Not the world and the injustice of the world.

Just this moment is like this.

And here I am standing right in the middle of it.

May I accept things as they are.

May I accept this moment as it is.

May I accept this moment as it is.

May I accept this moment as it is.

And the P is have a day filled with equanimity if you can.

And that's what I wish for you all.

Thank you for being on the wake up call.

Great to see you.

Have a peaceful day and a peaceful week and I'll see you next time.