CHAPTER XXXV What on earth were you thinking of?
Rose pressed the cold compress onto Davy's foot and he winced in pain.
Serves you right,
Wandering around in the dark when you should have been in bed,
Minding your own business,
She admonished sharply,
As her fingers felt anxiously around the swelling,
But to her relief she could find no indication of a break.
It seemed as if Davy had escaped with a bad sprain and a few cuts and bruises.
Could you hold this,
Please?
She turned to Charles,
Who stood silently watching,
And he moved to do her bidding.
Little had he thought when he set out earlier he would end up helping tend his gamekeeper's wounds,
Sustained he had no doubt whilst up to no good on his land.
The question crossed Rose's mind as to why Charles had been wandering around the valley in the misty darkness,
But there was no time to find out,
Even if she could have found the courage to ask.
Like this?
Yes,
Good.
Davy moaned in pain,
But Charles held the ankle still while Rose worked.
She paused to gently wipe the perspiration from Davy's face with a cloth soaked in rose water.
He'll be all right now.
Rose turned to Charles.
Thank you for your help.
She smiled briefly and wrung out her cloth once more.
He's just a bit stunned.
I don't think he really knows where he is or what he's saying.
He'll come out of it in time.
Are you sure?
No,
Really,
You've been kind enough.
Charles nodded,
Realising Rose was more than capable of dealing with Davy and his wounds.
Come back to work when you're ready,
He mumbled,
Feeling suddenly awkward in Rose's presence.
Thank you.
And if there's anything you need?
If you could just let Jory know,
I'll be home tomorrow.
Of course.
Thank you,
Replied Rose,
As she turned back to Davy and Charles left,
Closing the door quietly behind him.
I don't know what you were thinking of,
Rose repeated,
As she wiped Davy's face for the hundredth time,
Even though she knew he was taking not the slightest bit of notice.
You,
Of all people,
Should know better than to put your foot down a foxhole,
Or whatever it was,
In the middle of the night,
And then be fool enough to hit your head on the branch of a tree.
But it made her feel better,
Even if she was telling him off,
And it was preferable to sitting silently.
Secretly,
She was concerned at the angle Davy's ankle had twisted,
And the length of time which had passed without him remembering what happened.
The bruise on his head was coming out now,
In shades of purple and black,
But she was unsure how much damage had been done.
There were times when he appeared confused and almost delirious.
Where am I?
It's so dark.
And where are you?
Don't leave me alone again.
All featured in his mutterings,
And Rose could make no sense of any of it.
For the remainder of the night,
Rose stayed by Davy's side,
Holding his hand in hers,
And as the birds trilled their early morning chorus,
She fell asleep beside him.
A sleep of pure exhaustion,
But one to which she only succumbed once Davy had looked perfectly normally into her eyes and admitted what a fool he was.
Then he fell asleep,
And she knew he was going to be alright.
And when Rose finally opened her eyes,
She turned her head to find Davy awake,
His fingers entwined in hers.
You know I was always waiting for you,
But when you married Jory there was nothing I could do.
It was a few days later,
And Rose was resting on the bed beside Davy,
The late afternoon light fading around them.
Rose sighed.
I knew,
Of course I did,
And I realised what a mistake I'd made almost as soon as we were married.
But,
She shrugged,
What could I do?
Imagine the scandal there would have been for both of us in such a small village.
It isn't easy to move away and begin again.
And then I had Rachel.
There was a long silence,
During which the sounds of the gathering evening crept through the open window,
And a slight breeze caused the single candle to flicker.
Davy shifted restlessly,
But Rose knew it was nothing to do with the pain in his foot,
Which although he found difficulty in walking and could only manage a slow hobble,
Was healing nicely.
She sighed in the dim light of the room,
And Davy could see the glisten of tears upon her face.
She was your child,
Of course she was,
She whispered,
But we only had one afternoon together,
And the wedding was arranged for the following week.
At the time I thought it a moment of midsummer magic,
And it was only after I'd married Jory I realised I loved you with all my heart.
So,
Rachel.
She nodded again.
She really is yours.
I knew from the moment I first held her.
There's something in the way she views the world,
A look in her eyes at times,
A wildness just like you.
And no one ever guessed,
I'm sure of it,
You and Jory being brothers.
She trailed off.
Oh,
Davy.
The tears began to flow,
And Rose sobbed with all her heart.
I do so wish she'd grown up with you as her father,
Instead of that Bible basher who's done nothing but chase her away,
And now I hardly ever see her,
Except on high days and holidays.
Rose continued to sob,
And Davy pulled her to him,
Attempting to soothe her tears whilst struggling to hold back his own,
Feeling his heart might burst with anguish for Rose,
For the daughter he never realised he had,
For himself.
I'm sorry,
Davy.
Rose wiped her eyes and sat up,
Wriggling from his arms,
Agitated and unable to settle.
After all these years,
It's difficult to let it out,
Easier to keep it hidden away,
Forget it ever happened,
And pretend Rachel belongs to Jory,
Although of course I never could.
Every time I looked at her,
I saw you.
You must hate me,
Really hate me.
Rose burst into tears again and sank down upon the bed,
Crying as if her heart would break.
But,
She reminded herself,
It would never break,
Because it was already broken.
It had shattered into a thousand pieces one summer's day,
All those years ago,
When she and Jory were married in the church which meant so much to him,
And she finally realised it meant saying goodbye to Davy forever.
There was a long silence,
Then Rose felt Davy's hand upon her shoulder.
I love you,
He whispered.
I've always loved you and I always will,
And I'm glad you told me about Rachel.
He laughed unexpectedly.
I admit,
I've wondered all these years and hoped,
How I hoped she was mine and not his.
But I've watched her grow,
And she's a part of me and a part of you,
And that's what matters.
Now,
He put his arms around her and pulled her close.
Don't cry anymore.
The time for crying is over.
Rose drew a shuddering breath.
But what now?
She asked.
What can we do now?
I don't know,
Replied Davy slowly.
I truly don't.
But what a waste,
What a waste of our lives,
Whispered Rose.
Her fingers linked with his and he kissed them gently.
If only I'd told the truth all those years ago about how I felt,
And not worried about what people would say or think.
If only.
.
.
Are two of the saddest words in the whole world,
Interrupted Davy.
And you can't spend the rest of your life berating yourself for what you should or could have done.
Hindsight is a wonderful gift,
But you did what you thought best at the time,
And it's all anyone can ever do.
I've robbed you of a family,
Rose continued.
I've stolen your daughter and stopped her knowing her true father.
She bit her lip.
I don't see how you can ever forgive me.
Look,
Davy tightened his embrace.
I loved you then,
And I love you now.
And when you truly love someone,
Forgiveness doesn't come into it,
Because there's nothing to forgive.
Love holds no record of rights nor wrongs.
Every second I've spent with you has been worth it a thousand times over,
From that mad,
Wild afternoon we spent together all those years ago,
Until now.
It's been worth it simply to hold you again,
To smooth your hair,
To feel the touch of your lips on mine,
Even if it's just this once.
If only we could have another chance,
Whispered Rose.
Why couldn't it have worked out for us?
Why did it all have to be such a mess?
I told you no more if-onlys,
Admonished Davy.
But you know what we both believe.
We'll meet again next time round,
And then we'll do it properly.
Get married,
Have a family,
And all the things we wish we'd done this time.
We'll live somewhere near here,
And you can look after your well and visit it every day.
Rose made a sound which was half a sob and half the beginnings of a giggle.
But you don't have to wait until next time,
She replied.
We're here now,
And we have each other.
Davy smiled,
And a sudden breeze caused the single candle flame to flicker and die.
I think I'm getting too old for this,
He whispered into the darkness.
So am I,
Replied Rose,
But who cares?
And outside,
The great white owl flew swiftly away into the deepening twilight.
