Hey,
My wonderful friends.
Welcome to move toward with Jenna.
I'm Jenna.
And today we are going to move toward our anger and frustration.
So let's get started.
Hi,
Everybody.
Let's get started with moving toward our anger and frustration.
So let's remember our three steps of moving toward notice,
Know,
And need.
So first thing we're going to do is notice Where anger shows up.
Where frustration shows up.
In and around our body so go ahead and call to mind a recent time and maybe right now where you were feeling anger and or frustration.
Those two are kissing cousins.
And it probably didn't take a hot minute for that to come to mind.
So just start to shift your awareness to your body.
And start to notice.
Where anger where frustration show up in and around your body.
This is a little bit hard for me,
And I think it's because most of my life I have not really had permission to get in touch with my anger.
So it's a little harder for me to connect with where it lives in my body.
But what I was noticing is this.
Instinct to sort of clasp my hands into fists like kind of protective or defensive.
And I was also noticing kind of this heat in my core,
Kind of behind my chest cavity.
And it also seemed to show up in my.
.
.
My thoughts or my head somehow it's not entirely clear but I'm just going to notice that So you can notice where anger and where frustration are showing up in your unique.
Experience.
In your body And if it feels okay,
Once you notice that,
Just begin to allow your awareness to gently settle.
In with that anger.
Where you're noticing it.
With no effort to shift it,
Change it,
Move it in any way,
Just letting your attention,
Letting your awareness gently be with.
The anger.
And I'm noticing for me,
As I'm connecting and letting my attention be with the anger,
I'm getting a visual image,
But it's surprising me because it's different.
Than the visual image that I've gotten in the past when I have moved toward my anger.
And that's not unusual,
So if you've ever had that experience,
That's okay.
Just notice whatever comes up for you.
Don't try to figure it out.
Just just receive it.
Just be curious.
You may have an image or you may not.
Either way,
Totally fine.
Just a quick note,
A caveat,
If there are any parts of you that are afraid of your anger,
Or that are afraid of anger in general,
If anger has been dangerous in your life experience in the past,
Or scary.
This is going to sound a little unusual,
But just go with it.
Can you just let those parts of you that feel afraid of anger know that they don't have to stay here for this?
They can go behind you.
They can go to the Caribbean and lay on the beach.
They can go to a safe place.
They can go behind a shield.
Anywhere they want to and they can come back when we're done with this video.
So just let fearful parts know that they,
We're not going to force them.
To be around anger if that's frightening to them.
So if you did have any frightened parts or any parts of you that just don't feel good being around anger,
Just making sure they've had a chance to go wherever feels better for them,
Safe and protected.
And now just.
.
.
Noticing the anger.
And if you've gotten to a place.
Where now you're able to feel curious about your anger.
So in other words,
Not afraid of your anger,
Not guilty about your anger,
Not pushing back against the anger,
But just kind of curious,
Spacious,
Open hearted about it.
Then you're ready to move to step two,
Which is no.
KNOW.
Let's go ahead and ask our anger,
What does it want?
Me to know.
What do you want me to know about why you're so angry right now?
So what's coming up for me is this kind of sense that my anger is so angry.
Because there's a present day kind of experience or situation.
That feels threatening is too strong of a word,
But it feels unsafe.
For me,
It feels manipulative.
And other parts of me feel powerless to kind of speak into that.
And so anger is kind of showing up.
To try to maybe get that situation to step back so it's not.
Threatening or manipulating me.
So closely.
So you may be getting a similar sense that your anger is showing you something about why it is so angry,
How it's trying to help you.
And if so,
Let it know.
You're getting it.
That makes sense.
See if there's anything else that wants you to know.
Maybe checking in with how long it's been.
Doing this job for you trying to get things that are threatening to step back or whatever it may be trying to do for you.
Don't figure it out.
Just ask and see what comes up.
You you So I'm noticing the sense that this angry part of me is new in my life,
Or not new,
But it has had permission to be present only in the last,
You know,
In my adult years.
And the reason it gets so angry is because I spent so many years not listening to it.
So it feels like it has to amp up like super loud in my head.
So that I will listen and pay attention because it's been ignored.
And pushed down for a lot of my life.
For you,
You may have a different experience.
You may have memories coming up of how your anger has tried to serve you,
Protect you since you were little.
Or maybe it learned how to do this because you had someone in your life who used anger.
Maybe even against you.
But whatever comes up,
Whatever memories or impression you get,
Just let your anger know,
Oh my gosh,
Of course,
That makes so much sense.
You may even want to extend some gratitude for how anger has shown up to try to protect you.
When.
.
.
No one else was there to keep you safe.
Or you may be like me,
I really kind of feel like I need to apologize to my anger because I've spent so much of my life ignoring it and not listening to it.
Trying to lock it in the basement so to speak.
If any of that is the case for you,
Just take a moment with me to.
.
.
In my case,
Make an apology to my anger.
So if you had a chance to do that,
You may notice,
I'm noticing that my anger has really chilled out a lot.
It's like so grateful that I'm acknowledging it,
Validating why it's doing the thing it's doing for me.
How it's trying to help me.
And if your anger is having a similar response.
That's a beautiful thing.
And if not,
That's great as well.
So if it feels like.
Your anger has let you know everything it needs you to know for now.
Then you're ready to move on to step three,
Which is need.
So just checking in with your anger.
Is there anything you need from me right now?
To feel more comfortable to not have to work so hard.
And just see what comes up.
You I'm noticing what's coming up for me is my anger wants me to listen to it.
At a much lower stage so that it doesn't have to be yelling inside my head to get my attention.
Because it turns out it doesn't actually like yelling.
It doesn't like to have to get that loud in my head,
But because I don't listen to it.
Um,
It feels like it has to,
So.
That totally works for me.
I'm going to just make a little agreement to do that.
And if you notice something that your anger needs from you.
And you're able to provide that,
Go ahead and set that intention or make that happen.
Whenever that feels complete for you for today,
For now.
Just thanking your anger for communicating with you today,
Really affirming its positive intent in your life.
And then when you're ready,
Just gently shifting.
Where the focus of your attention is from your experience of anger back out around you.
And open your eyes So thank you,
My friends.
What a great journey.
It's not typical of any of us to want to move toward our anger.
One brief caveat that I have.
If you've noticed that your anger has to escalate to the point of rage or violence,
Towards those who are around you,
Toward people that you love and care about.
Then my friends,
It's essential that you.
.
.
Take steps to protect others from your anger.
So you need to turn off this video.
And contact a therapist who can really help support you in that.
It's absolutely critical that we move toward our anger so we can help it de-escalate.
And if it has ever come to the point where it is harming people around us.
Then it's imperative that we take action to protect the people that we love.
So thank you for going on this journey with me today of moving toward our anger,
Moving toward our frustration.
Until next time,
May our thoughts move toward,
May our words move toward,
And may our hearts move toward.
With compassion and curiosity and love.
Thanks for joining me.
