Hello,
I am Dr.
Sayiba Aiga and I will be your contemplative meditation guide for the next 15 minutes.
During this time,
I invite you to become comfortable,
Still,
And relaxed.
We'll begin with a quote to contemplate,
Then I'll lead you in breath work,
And we'll go on a guided meditation journey,
And I will lead you with an affirmation.
So let's begin.
Today's quote is by Henry David Thoreau,
And it reads,
Not until we are lost do we begin to understand ourselves.
Read those words in,
Allow them to sit with you,
In you.
I'll read that twice more.
Not until we are lost do we begin to understand ourselves.
I'll read that once more.
Not until we are lost do we begin to understand ourselves.
When I hear those words,
What comes up for me?
Not until we have lost meaning,
We begin to find ourselves and the true meaning of life.
When we find ourselves lost in the unknown,
Then we realize who we are and our own infiniteness in relation to the world.
We begin to know the unknown and see the unseen.
Being lost,
For me,
Felt like pressure to perform in ways that made me feel like I was betraying myself,
Which eventually led to depression and later anxiety.
This is when my search for deeper meaning ensued,
And I discovered my why for all my beliefs and behaviors.
I slowly shattered each belief and behavior that didn't align with the core of me.
This led me on a beautiful journey filled with grace.
I resigned from my job as a financial analyst and aligned with my true purpose as a teacher and nurturer.
I divorced my former husband and found peace,
Freedom,
And joy in being myself and being with myself.
I traded religion for spirituality.
What I noticed was all the rules were in my head.
The mental binding is what I like to call it,
Which stemmed from so many fear-based agendas in many aspects of our life and our world.
Trust that if you feel lost,
You are right where you need to be.
You're never really lost,
Perhaps blinded by our own conditioning and unaware of our own truth.
This was the most beautiful invitation for me to become clear.
I discovered myself and my own beliefs.
I finally knew the reason why I did everything in my life,
And it wasn't because I was afraid or told that it was the best thing for me to do.
I discovered truth for myself and aligned with my own core value.
So in this moment,
I invite you to either close your eyes or lower your gaze,
Whatever feels most comfortable for you.
In today's breath,
We will inhale through our mouth with pursed lips as if you're sipping through a straw.
And then you will exhale and allow your mouth to fall open.
And as your mouth falls open,
Also allow your shoulders to drop.
So it sounds like this.
And on each exhale,
Again,
As you're allowing your mouth to fall open,
Allow your shoulders to drop and any tension that you may have in any area of your body to release and fall away as well.
So I'll allow you to enjoy that breath for a minute.
One last time.
Then releasing the breath and continuing to breathe deeply and slowly at your own pace.
With your eyes closed and your gaze lowered,
I invite you in this moment to imagine a bright white light from above shining down on the crown of your head.
And imagine this bright light permeating through the crown of your head,
Through each of your chakras very slowly,
Moving through your third eye,
Filling your body up,
Moving to your throat chakra,
Illuminating each one as it pours into your body,
Moving down to your heart chakra,
Filling you up,
Down to your shoulder plexus,
Then your sacral chakra,
And finally your root chakra.
Noticing that light permeate all the way down through your legs,
To the soles of your feet,
And imagine it pierces through the earth's core.
So piercing through each layer of the earth all the way till it reaches the core of the earth.
Imagine that bright white light returns back up through the soles of your feet.
And as you are completely,
Imagine yourself standing in a long hallway and you begin to walk down this hallway,
Which leads to a door.
And once you arrive at the door,
You open it and you immediately notice the darkness in this room.
And you enter the darkness and stand in the center of the room.
And you begin to faintly notice at each corner of the room,
Very faintly you notice the areas of your life where you feel lost,
Where there's pressure,
Where you are unsure of who you really are,
And the situation,
And the relationship.
And you begin to step closer to one corner.
And as you approach one corner of the room,
The darkness begins to dissipate.
And the light appears and you see clearly the area of your life that is the source of pressure in this area.
It can be any area where you feel lost,
Pressure from your inability to recollect who you are and what you most desire.
Simply observe it.
Looking in that corner of the room that is illuminated while every other space is dark.
Is it your relationship with your spouse or significant other?
Where do you feel most lost?
Where do you feel most pressure to perform in ways that you've been conditioned to believe is best for you?
Is it with your job,
Your career,
Or maybe your family?
Simply observe in the corner where and what it is.
Is it religion?
Simply notice.
Notice how your body feels as you're observing this area of your life where you feel most lost.
And once you're finished with that area of the room,
I invite you to walk to the second corner in the room and simply observe again.
Notice what's another area of your life where you feel lost or pressure to perform or you're unsure really of who you are in that space,
In that situation,
In that relationship.
Again,
I invite you to examine is it your work,
Family,
Religion,
Relationships?
Is it your career work?
Is it everything that you believed it could be and desired it could be and desired it to be?
Or is it what you were taught growing up?
If it's your marriage or your significant other's relationship,
Are you living out what you were taught or are you living out what you decided you wanted and believed you could have?
Simply observe the second corner of the room and notice how it feels.
How does it feel looking into this situation in your life?
And when you are finished,
I invite you to walk to the third corner in the room.
And as you approach the third corner,
Again,
It illuminates and you're able to see another area of your life where you feel lost and pressured and unsure of who you really are.
Perhaps it's your family dynamics,
How the relationships evolve into what you imagined they would be,
Or are you stuck in a cycle or pattern that no longer serves your best interests due to your previous conditioning?
Simply notice as you're standing in the third corner of the room,
Illuminated,
And every other space in the room is dark.
Notice how your body feels as you observe this area of your life.
And once you have finished with the third corner,
I invite you to walk to the last and fourth corner of the room.
And as you approach it again,
It begins to illuminate.
So you see clearly,
You notice through the darkness what is being illuminated in this area of your life where you feel lost and pressured and unsure of who you really are in the situation or the relationship.
Is it your religious beliefs?
Do you find them to be limiting or do they allow you to explore your infinite-ness?
Where do you feel this pressure?
And simply notice what you see and notice how you feel,
What sensations arise in your body.
Then I invite you to make your way back to the center of the room.
And as you do so,
You notice the darkness dissipates in the entire room and you're left with all these four corners illuminated and you're able to see.
And in this moment,
I invite you to lean into the beliefs that you are holding on to that are causing you to feel lost in these areas of your life.
Lean into what beliefs are causing you to feel this pressure to perform in ways that betray who you really are.
And simply listen,
Notice what comes up.
What beliefs are you holding on to that cause you to feel unsure in these areas of your life?
Maybe questions come up for you.
Maybe they're words that come up for you.
Are you able to answer why?
Why you're showing up that way in those four situations or relationships?
What might discovering the answers to these questions look like for you?
Continue to observe,
Just observe each corner of the room and sitting with your answers or maybe questions.
It's okay if the answers don't come now.
Continuing to breathe deeply and slowly,
Simply observe.
And once you feel resolved with each corner of the room and all that it has illuminated for you,
The truth of who you are being in those situations that don't align,
That don't feel good,
That caused you to feel pressure and loss,
Show gratitude to the space.
Simply bowing and saying thank you.
Thank you for illuminating truth for me.
And take in the deepest breath in the deepest breath you've taken all day and release.
Then turn toward the door and begin to exit the room.
And once you get to the door,
You walk out and as you begin to close the door,
You notice the light dissipates and the darkness covers the entire space.
Close the door and you begin to walk down the hall and you stop and close your eyes,
Taking in another deep breath and you find yourself right where you are in this present moment.
Feeling the ground beneath you,
Noticing the sensations in your fingers,
Your toes.
And when you are ready,
I invite you to raise your hands above your head,
Stretch wherever feels good for you and open your eyes and raise your gaze when you are.
Today's affirmation,
I align with truth and recollect who I am.
So I invite you to repeat that with me three times.
I align with truth and recollect and recollect who I am.
Twice more.
I align with truth and recollect who I am.
One last time.
I align with truth and recollect who I am.
I invite you to be mindful,
Breathe deep often,
And contemplate who you know you are in all the ways you know.
Thank you for meditating with me today.
