SOBER: Stop, Observe, Breathe, Expand Awareness & Respond Mindfully

This meditation is a kind of mindfulness ‘first aid’ that helps us step out of and become aware of strong emotions, difficult mind states, and urges, impulses, and triggers that (without awareness) can lead us into behaviors that cause harm to ourselves and others.

Transcript

This is a meditation known as SOBER.

It's a mindfulness practice taken from mindfulness-based cognitive therapy,

MBCT,

And it's one that you can do almost anywhere.

It can be particularly helpful whenever someone or something triggers you to respond in a reactive way,

Or whenever you're anxious or stressed and feel the urge to soothe yourself with food,

Drink,

Drugs,

Tobacco,

Or some other unhealthy habit.

All you need to do is remember the acronym SOBER,

Which stands for Stop,

Observe,

Breathe,

Expand Awareness,

And Respond Mindfully.

The first step is to stop,

Slow down,

And bring awareness to your mind and body in this moment.

Let's say you've just had a difficult encounter with a co-worker in which you both got angry and defensive.

When you stop and bring awareness to your experience,

You might notice that your body is tense,

Your face is flushed,

And your thoughts are racing.

So this is the first step,

Simply stopping as though we were pressing the pause button on a recording or on a video.

Just stop.

Step out of what we were caught up in.

The second step is to observe what's happening in your body,

Emotions,

And thoughts with acceptance and without judgment.

If you're feeling angry,

Allow yourself to feel the tightness in your chest,

Maybe the heat in your face.

You might experience some relaxing as you do so.

Notice the thoughts that come up without latching onto them.

So stop and then observe your experience,

Observe what's present in a kind and non-judging way.

Then breathe.

Take a few deeper breaths and then focus simply on the sensations of breathing.

Allow yourself to feel your breath as you breathe in and out,

Perhaps feeling some release as you exhale.

As you feel yourself perhaps more settled,

Expand your awareness to include your whole body and the overall situation and context with a kind and accepting attention.

Let yourself take in the feelings,

Thoughts,

And emotions that are present with acceptance.

As you expand your awareness in this way,

You can then reflect on how you might respond mindfully.

The fifth step in this meditation.

Make a choice to respond in a way that supports your deepest intentions.

Whatever is happening in your mind and body,

Know that you have a choice in how you respond.

Stop.

Observe.

Breathe.

Expand awareness.

And respond mindfully.

This is a meditation that you can do any time you feel tense or tight or triggered.

Just to come back,

Take a few minutes to bring awareness to your direct experience.

And step out of reactivity and move towards a mindful and conscious response to what's present.

Thank you.

Reviews

As a recovering addict, I’m so happy to have found this. Wow. Perfect for my direction.

I appreciate this acronym and have been using it since the first time I had listened to this teaching. Thank you for this useful tool.

I heard a similar on but it was shift observe beathe and now i dont remember e was expand anyway i love acronyms i collect them but this one is very practical for me personally i i expect for many many people i noww will practice this evry time i get to tiggered or upset thankyou very much your a great sharer of wisdom i hope i cam put this to great use and apply it to my recovrry and on going practice of living life

Thank you Hugh. This is so helpful! I am practicing this in the calm moments by bringing ip thoughts of a past event so I will be ready in the moment to employ the meditation and can respond differently. The mnemonic makes it so easy to remember.

Simple, clear, actionable tool for healing & moving beyond habits of harmful reactivity in life. I added background music to enhance the calming effect, to replay this in difficult moments.

C’était très bien merci
Ça ressemble à ce que je pratique en 10th step of the spiritual program of AA
It’s
Watch
Ask
And
Turn

Love these actionable steps to reduce the impact of triggers. Thank you. 🙏

Great toolbox response to triggers.

Thank 🙏 you
🌸Jesse

This is a good idea that I'll try to practice. I was focused on just "stop". But it's helpful to have something else to focus on. Stop is just the beginning. Thank you.

Thanks for a very useful mindfulness practice when dealing with a stressful situation.

Very simple and practical practice. Extremely useful in stressful situations. Thank you.

Loved learning a simple way to breathe and be mindful in triggering situations. I’ll definitely practice this!!

Every one of Hugh's meditations are excellent. He's my go-to man for getting me back on track from reactivity, emotional regulation & becoming grounded. Thank you.

Clear and simple, and yet so hard to accomplish. But like Sisyfos it's worth practising again and again.

This is an excellent addition to one’s mindfulness toolkit. Thank you for your lucid explanation.

Very useful! Short, focused, easy to remember tool to help regain balance. Thank you. 🙏

Really enjoyed this and will use it. Simple and easy to employ. Thank you.

Very helpful, wonderful habit to form & use often. I will be implementing in my daily life. Thank you for posting! 💕

Very helpful. Will remember and use it in the future 🌈

Thank you. I needed this yesterday and can see on reflection how this would’ve been of benefit. Noted for next time 😊