Hi,
Welcome.
My name is Erin.
I'll be guiding you through a visual meditation.
So take a moment to find a comfortable seat.
Or you can even lie flat on the earth on a prop.
But take a few breaths,
Get comfortable,
Settle down.
Let's take a few deep breaths together.
On an inhale,
Pulling air deep into the belly.
Belly rises to the sky.
Open the mouth,
Let it go,
Sigh it out.
Let's take two more like that.
Big breath in through the nose,
Deep into the belly.
And sigh,
Let it go.
Last time,
Big breath in through the nose.
Sigh it out.
And you can keep that breathing if it feels a little natural or at least easy to keep up.
Maybe just let your breath return to normal.
If you feel comfortable,
Close the eyes.
I want to take you back in time.
Imagine you're about 3 or 4 years old.
What do you look like?
What are you wearing?
Where are you?
Are you in your childhood home?
Maybe your favorite hiding spot?
Are you at school?
With your friends?
Where?
I want you to imagine that you're wearing a backpack.
It's your favorite color and it's not yet filled with a single thing.
It weighs almost nothing.
And you start to walk along the timeline of your own life,
Still wearing the backpack,
Passing ages 4,
5,
6.
Now think about you at age 7 or 8.
How have you changed?
Do you look any different?
Has anything in your life been difficult yet?
There may be obvious answers,
Family issues,
Loss of some sort,
Maybe even death.
Or maybe you just don't feel completely seen or understood at this age.
Whatever it is,
You place the weight of that worry or grief into your backpack and you keep walking.
You meet your 12 year old self.
She or he is deep in that awkward stage.
Glasses,
Bangs,
Braces,
Acne.
You haven't quite hit your stride yet.
You feel a lot of shame for not being prettier,
Skinnier,
Smarter,
More athletic.
You throw the weight of that shame into the bag.
You'll deal with it later.
Now you start to pay a little more attention to the bag.
You notice it's weight more and more.
When walking along,
Envision 17 or 18 year old you.
You're finishing high school,
Maybe headed to college.
Lots of big shifts are on the horizon.
There's a lot more responsibility being placed on you and no one has really taught you how to deal with that.
So take the weight of that,
Place it into your backpack.
And now the bag is more noticeable.
It's not yet unbearable but carrying that around with you is exhausting and limiting.
So you walk along.
You think about being 21,
22.
Maybe you're out on your own for the first time.
You're attempting to make something of your life and maybe trying to get your very first job but you're met with rejection after rejection.
You start to think that maybe you just aren't good enough.
So you add in a little more weight for the worry of what your future holds.
The weight of shame for not measuring up to what has been expected of you.
The weight of isolation,
Of feeling lost and not enough but being unable to share that with others.
And the backpack just gets heavier with each step.
Your shoulders are tight,
Burdened by the weight of the pack filled with disappointments,
Fear,
Pain,
Loss.
You continue walking.
Past mistakes,
Let downs,
People you've kept in your life for far too long.
And there's a heaviness in the pack.
Some of it doesn't really even feel like yours to carry.
Your shoulders ache,
You're tired from walking.
You carry on collecting more tears,
Rage,
Confusion,
Isolation.
Each emotion adding more weight to the bag.
And then you meet yourself at your current age.
The pack's so full,
So nauseatingly substantial that you're not really sure it's worth going on.
And just up ahead you see the edge of a cliff.
You walk,
Still wearing the pack,
To the ledge and you pause.
You see a sign nearby that simply reads,
Unload bags here.
And of course you are hesitant.
You've carried this bag with you for years,
Decades even.
Its heaviness has become a part of you.
You even identify part of yourself as the pack.
But then you ask yourself,
What do I gain by holding onto this bag?
Do I really need to hold onto the years of worry,
Fear,
Anger,
Suffering?
What am I so afraid of happening if I release this worry in control?
You finally decide to empty the contents of the pack over the ledge.
A lifetime of burdens lift from your shoulders.
You stand taller,
You breathe easier,
You feel free from the worry,
Fear,
Sadness that you've been carrying around.
And as you walk away from the cliff,
You make a decision.
And from here on out you choose to fill the pack with positive moments,
Peace,
Ease,
Joy,
Things that are much lighter and easier to carry with you along your journey.
The fear,
The worry,
The pain,
They'll still show up in your life.
But you learn to sit in those moments.
Just simply feel your feelings rather than adding the weight of them to the bag to deal with later.
And in those heavy moments,
You imagine the weight of those hard emotions just simply falling off the ledge of the cliff.
And so you forge ahead,
Backpack in hand,
Light as can be.
And take a few deep breaths and start to come back into the body.
And just note any shift in the body,
The mind,
The heart.
I hope you can release some of your weight,
The emotions you've been carrying in your backpack.
Let's take one final round of breath together.
Inhale through the nose.
Big sigh,
Open the mouth,
Let it go.
