Emotional Connection With Your Stuff

Your Stuff OWNS you. Learn the deep connection between you and your belongings.
There is a very deep physical, emotional, and energetic connection with all the things that surround you in your home and office. Your mood and mental health can be very affected by your belongings.
Understanding this relationship can help you declutter and organize your spaces with more confidence and create a home environment that supports you and the person you want to become.
This track was recorded outdoors and contains ambient sounds

Transcript

Hello beautiful people.

I came to this beautiful forest today to talk about something really,

Really important that you need to understand.

And that is that your staff owns you.

You have a relationship with your staff.

Yes,

An emotional relationship,

An energetic relationship.

The staff surrounding you has a huge impact on you.

Just think about it.

A lot of the things that are surrounding you trigger emotions in you.

Good ones and bad ones.

The more things you have around you,

The more energy they are demanding from you,

The more space they are demanding from you,

The more attention they are demanding from you,

The more things they remind you of,

The more emotions that trigger you.

This is really,

Really important for you to understand.

After working for like since 2012 with like a lot of people,

Like over 300 people in their homes,

Helping them go through their belongings.

I really saw that relationship so clearly.

That mental health and wellness aspect of your physical belongings.

That relationship is what a lot of you guys are missing.

That's why a lot of you guys are not able to declutter and organize your home.

You are not able to move forward in life with important things because you are not dealing with that relationship properly because you are not understanding how that works.

Let's just put an example.

Imagine that you spend a lot of money in an exercise machine that you put in the basement.

You set the intention,

You spend time looking for it,

You spend money getting it,

You spend space because that machine takes a lot of space,

You set that intention with yourself,

That commitment of working out,

Improving your body,

Improving your health,

And now you're sitting in the basement collecting dust.

Every time you go down to that basement,

How do you feel?

Do you feel proud?

Do you feel confident?

I would say that most likely the opposite.

That machine right there is a reminder of you failing,

Of you wasting money,

Of you breaking a commitment with yourself.

This is just one example that I have seen a lot of times.

Same applies with clothes,

Same applies with your car,

Same applies with any object that you have around you.

That relationship could be really a nice one too.

So it could be positive or it could be negative,

But there is a huge connection there that you really need to understand.

So the stuff that you have owns you,

It does own you,

And you have a commitment to that stuff.

You need to spend your time,

Your money,

Your energy,

Your space,

Like dealing with it,

Maintaining it,

Cleaning it,

Moving it around,

All those things.

So I want you to be aware of that.

And how is this important?

If you don't understand this,

If you just think that your belongings are just physical stuff and that's it,

I will say you are mistaken.

And I will say that if you are trying to declutter and you are stuck,

If you are trying to organize your home and you just can't,

If you have tried several times and you just don't seem to find a way to do it,

That's why,

That's why.

Because you are not understanding that.

You are facing yourself.

Every time you open that closet with this jam pack of things,

That garage,

That basement,

That room that is full of things,

That sometimes you may not even know what's in there because you don't remember.

But don't you feel that you opened that door in the closet and it's like a thousand people are screaming at you at the same time,

Shouting at you really loudly and you just have to close that door because it's just too much.

What do you think that is?

That's energy.

That's that relationship.

That's you facing the reality.

That's you facing those decisions you have to make.

That's you facing that old you that is stuck in that closet,

Stuck in that garage.

That's why it's so hard for you to deal with it because you are dealing with yourself.

You're going to deal with the decisions you made,

The commitments you made,

All the emotions that you put into that stuff,

All the things that you probably yourself that you didn't do,

Maybe memories of things that bring you pain,

Maybe memories of things that bring you joy,

But you don't know how to display or maybe you don't have enough space because your house is not big enough,

Or maybe it's like an inheritance from a family member and every time you look at it,

It's just so painful because it reminds you of that person,

It reminds you of all the moments and the sadness comes up and you just can't.

It's just so much for you to do alone.

That's why your staff owns you.

Everything that you have around you,

Owns you.

When people talk about minimalism,

Some people go to the extreme of not having anything.

And that's,

I don't think that's the answer.

But there is a relationship there.

There is an understanding.

There is a benefit of being intentional with all the things that surround you.

There is a benefit of decluttering,

Assessing what's important and what's not.

And the things that are not important,

Letting them go with love,

Passing them along to someone else who is going to love them again so that you feel well.

There is that energetic connection that you have to close.

So what can you do?

If you are feeling that way with your staff,

If you really need to reassess,

But you just feel that it's too much to do it alone,

Get help.

How?

First thing is just set the intention first.

What do you need to do?

What are you trying to accomplish?

Why do you want to tackle that room right now?

Is it because you need to reclaim that space for something else?

Is it because energetically it's draining you every day that you look at those things and it's kind of reminding you of those things that you need to kind of move on with?

What is it?

Set that intention,

Okay?

And then get help.

Sometimes help can be family member,

Sometimes a friend.

But sometimes that's not a good idea either because if it's a person that is too close to you,

It's going to be hard.

Like,

For example,

We have a hard time helping our own family members.

We are professional organizers.

We have been doing this for a really long time.

But sometimes when we are helping family members,

We are too attached emotionally.

We are too close.

And sometimes it's easier if someone else from the outside helps you navigate this process,

Asks you the right questions.

Because then you can move forward way,

Way easily.

So getting that help is important,

Really,

Really important.

Because you are not only dealing with your physical belongings.

You are not just cleaning up.

That's a huge mistake.

When people tell us,

Oh,

You are just the cleaners,

You are just going to move things around.

Oh my God,

There is so much depth into that.

Like when people say that,

It triggers me a little bit to be honest because I would love to be able to open my heart and my experience and transfer it right away to them so that they understand this.

Because this is so important.

And so many people are not aware of this.

You need to be aware of this.

For yourself and for the people that you love,

For the people that you may encounter that are suffering because of this.

If you understand this,

At least you can point them in the right direction.

At least you can tell them,

Did you think about this?

How do you feel when you look at your things?

Did you think about going through them with someone else?

Have you thought about reading a book,

Watching a documentary,

Whatever it takes,

Taking a course,

Bringing someone to your home and do a session.

Whatever it takes for you to move through those emotions,

Those triggers,

Those attachments,

Everything that's going to come up.

Because this is such a deep process,

Guys.

It's not just physical things.

It's such a deep process that you need to go through.

You need to make so many decisions.

You need to confront yourself.

You need to face who you were.

To face who you want to be.

To accept it.

And that's not easy.

Please,

Please,

Please reflect about this.

The staff that you have around you,

Owns you.

It really,

Really does.

So be very intentional.

Be ruthless.

And get help if you need it.

Okay?

I am here if you need any help.

Just let's chat if you need help.

Let's make it happen.

I am here to support you along the way because I have done it so many times and I love doing it.

Okay?

Have a great weekend,

Guys.

Adios.

Reviews

Thank you for this. I started the decluttering process a month ago after not being able to for years. You have given me a bit more strength, & also calm, by sharing your insights and approach.

Thank you Emilio! Cannot find words to express how meaningful, inspirational your talks/sessions are.

This one really got through to me. There is great passion and truth in this message and I am grateful to have received it.

Excellent and thought (and action!) provoking, thankyou!

Wow, I guess it’s time for me to go through my things and get rid of the clutter and things that simply don’t serve me anymore. It made sense how you described that we have an emotional connection to these material items, I never saw it that way. Thank you for your wisdom. 🙏

Excellent advice. I need to clear out my husband's things and also my own (which is harder because those things have a greater emotional attachment).

A generous, focused and compassionate exploration of beginning to release things that do not serve the life we want for ourselves. Thank you, Emilio, one of my favorite IT teachers.

Amazing… so eye opening. Beautiful that you shared with us while in a forest. I could hear you breathing as you walked. It felt like I was walking with you. Your compassion for those struggling with this runs deep and wide. I appreciate you Emilio. Every time I hear you speak, you touch my heart and awaken my mind in a new transformative way. What an unexpected surprise to find your work! Love to you and your family. ♥️ Amy

Truly makes sense. Thank you

So true…so wise! And because of our emotional attachment to the things of the past, we may have to get very creative about HOW we let go of them…then do it! — Let go with love and appreciation.

Really brought home so many reasons why I hang on to things. Many aha moments in a short talk. Woohoo!

Please! Come save me from my Stuff! Interesting perspective on clutter and our emotional attachments to our things.