We spend so much time emphasizing the outer,
The external in our society.
When it comes to relationships,
We think about what does this person do?
What does this person say?
What does this person look like?
Relationships,
Romantic relationships,
It's an internal thing.
It's about how does this person make me feel?
What is my inner experience?
So let go of all those outer markings.
How do you feel?
You don't choose a partner,
You choose the state,
The feelings with which you'll live for years,
That you're with that partner.
So you don't choose the person,
You choose the kinds of feelings they inspire.
And I know many people who choose the partner who makes them feel anxious,
Or they choose the partner who makes them feel insecure,
Or who destroys them emotionally,
Or who makes them feel like they're not worthy,
Or who makes them feel guilty.
Why would you choose that?
They often choose it because that partner looks a certain way,
Or has certain accomplishments,
Or has certain status.
But those things really don't matter.
They matter very little compared to how do I feel around this person.
Do I feel peaceful?
Do I feel safe?
Do I feel inspired?
Do I feel strong?
Do I feel joyful?
So I wish for a relationship in which you feel the way you want to feel,
And then everything else is really secondary.
