Namaste Sanyasa Family and everyone.
A very warm welcome to all of you in this daily live meditation session with me,
Dhyanse.
We are meditating on 112 meditation techniques of Vigyan Bhairav Tantra.
What is the goal of spirituality?
Where are we heading on this spiritual journey,
The so called spiritual journey?
Some call this goal as self-realization or self-discovery.
What is this self-realization or self-discovery?
It is worth understanding what this word,
What this phrase self-realization really means.
If you break this,
It has two parts,
Self and realization.
Realization why do we call this as a realization?
Because it indicates something that is already the case in you.
It indicates that this spirituality is not going somewhere.
It is something that is already the case in you.
All you have to do is to realize.
Realize something that is there within you,
That is there in the first place.
Something that is not to be created.
Something that is not to be achieved.
Something that is not to be attained but to be realized,
To be discovered.
You are having it all this time in your life.
Whatever you are looking for through spirituality and outside spirituality,
Anything that you are looking for in life,
You already have it.
That is the beauty and the mystery of life.
What there needs to be a process to come to that realization,
To come to that discovery,
To take that full circle to come back to where you started,
To come back home knowing,
Realizing,
Discovering where you were,
Was,
Where you were supposed to be.
So this component,
This in the word self-realization,
This realization is very,
Very powerful to understand and when you realize that this realization is all what you have within you,
The whole journey becomes very easy.
The whole journey is always coming back to where you began,
Coming back to your home.
This part,
The realization is easy.
The more difficult part in this word self-realization is the word self.
What is this self that we are trying to realize?
Is there something as self that we are trying to realize?
We call this unknowingly self-realization but is this really the realization of self?
Or is this the realization of something else?
Ask yourself when you say self,
What does that mean?
When you say self,
It means,
If it means to you,
Your body,
Your mind,
Your ideas,
Your concepts,
What does this really mean?
If that is what this self means,
Then what is self-realization?
Does that mean that now you are going to realize something more than the body,
Something more than the mind,
Something more than your ideas of who you are?
Does this self-realization means that it is somewhat additive to what you already knew?
This is where the deception of this word self-realization lies.
This is where the confusion and the lifelong chase to this greater self,
On top of what we call as ourselves.
See that this journey which we call as self-realization,
We are using the word self only to give you a direction,
Only to make it convincing for you that you are going to discover and realize which is called as self,
Which can be called as self.
But it is completely different what you stumble upon as you go in your inner space,
As you come to the realization,
As you come to the discovery,
You see that there is nothing,
No self.
But we begin with the idea of self,
We begin this journey with the idea of self,
With the body,
With the mind,
With our energies,
And as we do that,
We tend to think that there is something more that is going to add up on top of what I don't know already about myself.
In that process,
We think that we are going to expand and become more,
But rather this process goes through this letting go of what you already know as self.
So you begin with your idea of self and unless you let go of everything that you know as yourself,
You never come to something that is being pointed as self in the word self-realization.
It is not the same as what you begin with,
But you have to let go throughout this journey everything that you call as self,
Unless you go through that unknown,
Unless you go through that completely letting go of whatever you call as self,
You never reach to where this self-realization is pointing at.
So please remember,
It does not matter which practice that you take,
Which meditation that you do,
As long as you are on this path of self-realization.
In order to be in this self-realization,
You have to go through dropping everything that you call as yourself.
And facing that unknown,
Facing that zone where there is no self,
Facing where there is nothing to hold on to,
Not to your body,
Not to your mind,
Not to your ideas,
Not to your concepts,
There is nothing to hold on to,
Unless you go through that phase where there is no self,
You never come to self-realization.
And along this path,
There are lots of things that you can hold on to that become a barrier in your journey.
Let us look at one example and learn from this example,
Which comes as a question in our community of meditators,
In our sannyasa family,
This question reflects those barriers which come along in this journey from the ideas that we carry in us,
That we call as self to what is known as self-realization.
The questioner asks,
Sometimes in my meditation,
When everything is so spacious and still,
An answer will come,
A drop of inspiration,
A moment of understanding,
A realization,
Or simply a good idea.
I have always seen these as my truths coming through,
Like my mind is filtered and only lets in the really important gems.
I don't stay attached to them in my silence,
They pass me by,
Then I just write them down when I return,
They can be such a gift.
I don't see this as a negative thing,
But does this mean I am not totally in awareness in these moments?
Also,
Often in meditation,
I am in the awareness and in the silence,
But somewhere behind me,
I am aware of the thoughts,
Like music playing in the background,
I am aware of the mind so separate from the awareness,
Is that the mind is fighting to stay as the dominant force?
Let us understand this question,
Because this is happening to not just you who has posted this question,
But to a lot of meditators when they move into silence,
When they move into this awareness and silence,
This combination of awareness and silence.
The first thing that happens is suddenly,
From somewhere,
Ideas,
Thoughts,
Beautiful things start arising in you which you may call as gems,
Here you yourself are referring to them as gems.
These understandings,
These inspirations,
See why they are coming.
When you are living in your normal ordinary states of consciousness,
It is almost like a crushed state,
Where your consciousness is crushed,
Where you are living unconsciously,
Semi-consciously,
Where you are going through experiences and you are not living that fully consciously.
But the moment you give some silence to yourself,
The moment you give some moments of these awareness and aware silence to yourself,
Suddenly that crushed bottle,
That crushed consciousness starts to expand and all what you had experienced unconsciously starts to surface.
So all this is within you,
It is not coming from anywhere,
All these thoughts,
All these ideas can happen to you not just in the state of meditation,
But in your ordinary states as well.
You can have those powerful thoughts,
Powerful inspirations if you live 100% conscious,
Fully conscious outside the hours,
Outside the minutes of meditation as well.
So that's something important to note.
Second,
You say,
I don't stay attached to them in my silence,
But you do.
If you call them gems,
If you want to go and recall them afterwards,
You are somewhat attached to them and you are in this contemplation,
This contemplation is so beautiful because it starts serving you new ideas,
It starts serving you inspirations and that's where it becomes a barrier as well.
Let yourself sit deeper in silence,
Let this contemplation,
Let this inspiration,
Let all these ideas,
All these thoughts,
All these gems,
The so called gems also pass by.
You have to make a choice between the reward of these gems or the self-realization within the silence.
If you choose the gems,
If you choose this reward,
It is also fine,
It is also rewarding,
But you can do that otherwise as well.
You are missing out on something far more deeper in meditation if you let these gems,
These rewards go as well.
A lady in a shopping mall,
She lost her wallet and a child,
He came,
He saw that wallet,
He picked it up and he gave it to her.
She opened the wallet,
She said,
First of all she thanked the child and then she opened the wallet to check if everything was okay.
She said,
It's very strange,
I had a $20 bill in my wallet and now I have 21 dollar bills in my wallet.
What has happened?
And she looked at the child and the child said,
Yeah,
You know,
The last lady I returned this wallet to had no change in her wallet to reward me.
If you would wait for the reward in your meditation,
This reward of contemplation,
Of inspiring ideas,
Of thoughts will become a barrier.
Your meditation,
Your silence will not be as deep.
Let go of whatever arises in you and whatever has to stay in you will stay in you.
Because it is within you,
It is only in your unconscious,
Somewhere hidden,
You can always bring it back from your unconscious to your conscious.
So do not let whatever arises in your consciousness become a barrier in your meditation.
The second part,
Which is often in meditation,
Somewhere behind me I am aware of the thoughts like music playing in the background.
I am aware of the mind so separate from the awareness.
Is the mind fighting to stay as a dominant force?
No,
Not the mind is fighting to stay.
Mind is not fighting.
Either you are fighting with the mind or you are holding on to that music,
On to that thought.
Once again,
In order to hold on to something.
Earlier you were holding on to the contemplations.
Now in here you are holding on to your mind.
Even if it is far away,
You want some music to play.
Because you don't want to go into the silence.
Maybe there is some fear in you of the silence,
Of the unknown.
You do not want to let go completely.
Yes,
You let go of things that you obviously know do not serve you.
But you still want to hold on to something.
You hear you are holding on to the mind,
Holding on to the thoughts with a very low volume somewhere running as a background music.
Lots of people also use this background ambient music to sleep because they are afraid to go into the unknown,
Into the unknown of the sleep,
Into losing themselves into the silence.
And unless you lose yourself completely,
You will never find yourself,
You will never come to Self-realization.
So,
As you progress further in your meditation,
As these contemplations have served you,
As this mind which is at a distance has served you,
Also let that go and go deeper.
Let these contemplations go.
Let this background ambient music of the mind also go.
You move into silence.
And now,
The technique from Vigyan Bhairav Tantra which Bhairava has given to us in order to address this issue of us not letting go of the Self.
Here he says,
Meditate on one's own self in the form of unlimited space in all directions and be free.
Let me repeat,
Meditate on one's own self in the form of unlimited space in all directions and be free.
So,
If you are that kind who is afraid of letting go,
Who is afraid of letting go of this Self,
Is holding on to this Self,
Here Bhairava gives you a work around.
He says,
Okay,
Whatever idea you have of yourself,
Let that expand.
Whatever is your idea of yourself,
Your body,
Your mind,
Your energies,
Your thoughts,
Your inspirations,
Your inner deep contemplations,
Whatever is your idea of yourself,
Let that expand unlimited in all directions.
So,
This is a work around to learn how to move from this limited self that we are holding on to.
Either we drop it or we let it expand.
So,
In this technique,
You let your awareness expand along with your idea of self,
Whatever you call as self.
And you will see that you reach to the same place.
Let us bring this into our practice,
Into our meditation,
Into our silence for the next minutes.
Please close your eyes and take a posture that is comfortable for you.
And your head,
Neck and back aligned.
Also relaxed,
You may take a couple of deep breaths and with exhalation,
Allowing your body to relax.
Breath back to its normal pace.
Let your eyes turn inwards.
And for the first few minutes,
In your awareness,
Point at what you call as self within you.
The idea of self,
The sensation of self,
The feeling of self,
Whatever you call as self,
Let all your awareness be pointing,
Be directing to this self.
Your thoughts pointing at self,
Your feeling,
Your sensations,
Your contemplation,
All your awareness and what you call as self.
And visualize,
Imagine that this self is expanding in all directions.
Imagine that this self is expanding in all directions.
Your feeling of the self expanding in all directions.
Your sensations,
Your idea of self expanding in all directions.
And imagine that this self is expanding in all directions.
And imagine that this self is expanding in all directions.
Expanding in all directions in this vast empty space.
And imagine that this self is expanding in all directions.
And imagine that this self is expanding in all directions.
And imagine that this self is expanding in all directions.
Whatever arises in your consciousness,
A thought,
A feeling,
A sensation,
Let that expand alone with yourself,
With your awareness.
Expanding without boundaries.
Not stopping this expansion anywhere.
Not stopping this expansion anywhere.
And your awareness expanding alone in all directions.
And imagine that this self is expanding in all directions.
And imagine that this self is expanding in all directions.
Simply stay in this awareness,
In this silence,
In this expansion in all directions.
And imagine that this self expanding in all directions.
And imagine that this self expanding in all directions.
And imagine that this self expanding in all directions.
And imagine that this self expanding in all directions.
Letting go of all ideas,
All effort.
Simply staying in this silence,
In awareness.
And imagine that this self expanding in all directions.
And imagine that this self expanding in all directions.
And awareness back to your breath.
To your body.
To your mind.
To this sense of self.
Very gently and slowly,
You may open your eyes.
Maintaining this centeredness,
This silence and awareness.
Taking this sense of expansion to your daily life.
On your spiritual journey towards Self-realization,
Lots of questions may arise,
Lots of experiences may happen.
If you wish to share that journey with me and with other meditators,
You're more than welcome to join our community of meditators,
Our sannyasa family.
Please write me an email to apply with your introduction,
With your calling for a community and what can you give back to the community.
Thank you very much.
Namaste.
