A Reflection And Heartfelt Insight On Sorrow And Joy

Lorraine E Murray shares an insight into the meaning of sorrow and joy as teachers from the heart. She talks about reflecting on a feeling of resentment and overwhelm, which led her to discover a heartfelt insight that helped her to process and accept the powerful emotions of sorrow and joy with an open heart.

Transcript

So today's podcast is based on an experience I had this morning where I just felt very overwhelmed and just a number of things, Small changes at home that are building up, Other factors contributing to it. But by the time I came back from a very wet, Slushy, Snowy dog walk, Oh, I was bubbling with the energy of resentment. And I sat down at my computer and thought, Oh, I don't know what to do about this. This is exhausting. And then I thought, I'm just going to sit and meditate and sit with the feeling of this. So my initial desire was to get rid of this feeling of resentment. But then it was, No, I'll sit with this. I'll really let myself feel this. I'll breathe into it and I'll accept this is it. And as I did this, I could become aware of all the stories I was telling myself that, You know, Kind of fueled the feeling of resentment. Oh, This is because of that. And this is because of this. And this, This, This, This, This, You know. So I, With my meditation practice, I was able to become aware that these were just stories, Things in my head, Not necessarily true. And then I just sat with that, The actual energy, The feeling in my body of resentment, And breathed into it. I called them my guides, My spiritual guides, You know, Whoever yours are, But and asked them to be with me to help me sit with this. What was really interesting is that the feeling of resentment, I became aware was really a mask. It was a layer of protection that I gave myself when I was experiencing sorrow, And not sadness, But sorrow. That was a very clear distinction. Sorrow, I realized, Sounds almost like arrow, You know, It's like it's got this depth to it. It goes much, Much deeper into my being. And so it was the, The resentment was really to protect me, To provide a layer, A mask of, Of having to feel the sorrow that I was experiencing. And so I allowed myself to feel the sorrow and to explore it. And what was interesting is that there weren't lots of stories creating that feeling of sorrow. It was just there. It was just present. It was alive inside me. So what became interesting is that it was like a set of where sorrow was on one side and joy was on the other. So of course my mind, The duality of the mind, The right or wrong, Black or white, Oh yeah, So we've got one on one side, One on the other. But it was, What was impressed upon me was, No, This, This is the cohabit. They don't, One doesn't exist without the other. And really, Don't think of sorrow as a, Even just a teacher, Think of it as a trainer. Think of it as a trainer that's building your depth and your energy and your strengths to contain and to hold sorrow. Because that depth also gives you the capacity to hold joy, The same equivalent of joy. So it's almost like the scales, The deeper the sorrow goes, The deeper the joy can be contained as well. And what I was being shown is that, You know, Your, Your capacity to, To have joy and sorrow isn't like, It's almost like they're intertwined and they cohabit the body and they, They're both available to me, To you, In every moment of every experience. So sometimes we do have to rest in sorrow, We do have to feel it, We do have to experience it, And then we can, Almost like a wave, Riding a wave, We slip into the moment of joy, It gives us the capacity to hold that moment of joy as well. And it isn't about staying fixed in one particular place, It's about the transition, The movement, The flow, And just noticing, Oh, I'm in a moment of sorrow, Right now I'm in a moment of joy, And trying to let go of the preference for one or the other. And then the final image that came was of, You know, Our body, How our body, We have a left arm and a right arm, Most of us, And, You know, Think of it like one arm is sorrow, One arm is joy, And we need both to hug someone, Really, To really deeply hug them. And so this image of them coming together, Holding someone, Holding ourselves, And hugging ourselves, Hugging deeply, Is because we can hold both sorrow and both joy to great depths. And the one final, Maybe practical thing I'd say, When I was sitting, Because there was a bit of me that suddenly went, So what? You know, What do I do now? You know, Okay, I realise this, Great, But now what? And it was that, The way the mind wants an answer, Wants a solution. And when I'm feeling that, When you're feeling that, When those thoughts are going through your head, Dropping them into the heart, And letting the heart, That energy of wisdom from the heart, Flow into that feeling of sorrow that you're experiencing. And then perhaps, Just allowing yourself to, To feel that. Because with that understanding that comes from the wisdom of the heart, It offers an opportunity for compassion, Particularly self-compassion. Maybe sit with that in your own meditation practice, And see what comes up for you, Or just, You know, Maybe this has been your meditation practice, But thank you for joining me, And thank you for listening. Have a wonderful day. Namaste.