Noticing The Portals In Everyday Life

Every one of us experience transitions all day long. We move from space to space but do we slow down enough to acknowledge who we just were in one space and who we are walking into the new space? I discuss how to work with our own minds, bodies and energies as we navigate these doorways, these "portals" throughout our day. Stepping into each new portal IS our adventure!

Transcript

Hola!

Today I wanted to talk about transitions.

We all experience transitions big and small all day long.

Do we even notice that we have transitioned either internally,

Externally,

And most likely both?

Or are we just being pulled by life circumstances and our own emotions basically in reaction mode all day long?

The first time I recall thinking about transitions,

True story,

I was in second grade.

It was the last day and I was gathering up all of my belongings.

As I walked through the door I remember thinking that I'll probably never step in this classroom again because it's for second graders and I am now a third grader.

First I felt a moment of pride and then a moment of sadness.

But I'm here right now.

I'm still in second grade right this minute.

So I turned around and I just looked at the classroom and I thought of some of the activities that we did there.

I thought of the teacher,

Mrs.

Peterson,

Who seemed pretty ancient to me back then so I assumed I'd never see her again.

I looked at my desk and I saw where a previous second grader had carved a helpful L and R into the wood allowing me to mostly know my left and my right to this very day.

I remember saying goodbye classroom as I exited to the next phase.

I knew when I walked out that door I would no longer be a second grader.

What I most remember cultivating an awareness of what I was about to walk into and not away from was during my 20-year marriage especially once we had two children.

It started with my tasting a bit of freedom from all the things domestic as I ran an errand.

I would just go to the grocery store and upon driving home I would stop the car maybe a block away and I would just feel what I felt.

All the feelings would be there and I just allowed them.

I got a little quiet and I allowed myself the space and I'd let myself feel the relief of not being mom or wife for a minute and then I'd feel excited to give anybody at home what I had just purchased for them and to see the smiles on their faces so I just let it all be there.

I'd noticed my longing for a date night for more freedom and then I would notice a pang of guilt if I were to ask my mom to babysit.

Years later when I was working as a counselor I had fine-tuned my little stops in the car into something even more helpful.

I had been seeing clients all day long with such different personalities and different energies.

I'd adapt to each one as needed to maintain my own connection to myself between clients I would light my incense just for a second.

I would silently wish the prior client a good day,

A good life and I would kind of assure their energy out of the room and then I'd put the incense in front of me for just a second.

I would take a couple deep breaths and kind of reset myself for the next person.

Then I'd put out the incense and I'd go to the lobby and I would greet the next person allowing them to walk into a space that had been cleared or reset or cleansed or maybe not but at least it was now intentional for the two of us.

After so many transitional moments throughout my day it seemed easier to now notice at the end of my day who I was driving home and what would await me once I got there.

Frankly it took years for me to be aware of my own energy walking into my house and not just get sucked into the swirling vortex of what everyone needed on the other side of that door.

I began to be more of a friend of myself by simply stopping before I walked in and asking myself how you doing.

I started to see how I often set myself up for disappointment by thinking that I was magically going to walk into a clean kitchen or really happy people or someone who eagerly wanted to hear about my day.

In reality we all had our own needs and tried to get them met from whomever would listen.

So I decided to listen to my own needs and take responsibility for the energy that I walked into the house with.

This didn't always translate to unicorns and rainbows of course.

It often translated into a loving greeting to all in my home and then a statement that I'll be right back.

I need to change clothes.

I need to take this bra off.

I need to pee.

Whatever it is I needed and I'll be back but I need a few moments.

Of course this might not work if you have very small children or if your partner is a very small child but we have to start somewhere at least acknowledging what you need when you walk into the new space.

Regardless I was acknowledging the need for transition.

Just like my clients all day long I allowed for a moment of what had just been completed and what was possibly going to come next.

I never knew and I still don't know what's actually going to come next but I can slow down for a second,

Acknowledge where I am and recalibrate myself with one breath.

Sometimes more than one but one is helpful.

Setting an intention for how I'll walk into that next space.

Taking a breath now.

If you haven't read or listened to Jill Bolte-Taylor I highly recommend her.

I think she has one of the most viewed TED talks of all time.

Her book is called My Stroke of Insight.

She has other books as well.

She was a brain scientist and experienced a massive stroke in the left hemisphere of her brain.

She was later able to clearly articulate how her functioning went offline and what parts of herself she did have access to in those beginning days,

Weeks and months of recovery.

Initially she couldn't process logical information and data.

She just knew the energy that someone walked into the hospital room with.

It's so articulate in describing all of this now.

Her body picked up on whether a nurse was there to just do her job and leave or whether another nurse had a presence that made her feel safe and comforted.

One of her big takeaways of her whole experience was that she is responsible for the energy she walks into a room with and since she's always with herself she's responsible for noticing how she's operating within her own system.

She doesn't have to be perfect.

She has to be aware and intentional.

Did one nurse intend to just phone it in and make the patient feel cold and separate?

Did the other nurse intend to walk in cheerful and make the patient feel warm and connected?

I don't know.

Probably not.

But I do think checking in with ourselves,

Noticing how we left one room and how we're walking into the next room will settle our system enough to allow for more choices than simply reactivity to what one encounters next.

We might have a chance to respond,

Not simply react,

If we first know where we're operating from.

Taking another nice deep breath now.

So enter portals.

I've always loved in movies when the character faces a portal.

They are usually illuminated with bright twinkling lights at the center with a magnetic pulling quality but kind of darker ominous edges giving the potential traveler the feeling that this could go either way.

But the pull is there.

The traveler is on a journey.

So you just know they're gonna walk through that portal.

I started to see how many portals I walk through every day.

Stick with me here.

Every single door you walk through is a portal including your car door.

How many times do you get in the car and you're going now you're in traffic.

You step out of the car now you're at your appointment.

Every door you walk through is a portal.

From the bedroom to the kitchen it's a whole other place and you're a different person from who you were in the bedroom.

In the bedroom you noticed you were hungry.

Now in the kitchen you're anticipating eating,

Satisfying that micro want and then feeling content or feeling overstuffed or whatever you feel.

You'll now leave the portal door of the kitchen to the next portal.

Maybe you walk out the front door to the mailbox.

Once you've passed the magical portal of your front door there's an entire world out there called the outdoors.

You notice the blue sky and the way the setting Sun hits the clouds.

You take a deep breath and you notice who you are now outside.

What do you want?

What do you need?

What are you going to intend now?

Maybe the older lady walks by who walks her little dog 18 times a day and there she is again.

You notice how good you feel and so you wave to her.

A big smile crosses her face as she enthusiastically waves back.

Once you're at your mailbox,

Oh look another tiny portal.

Anything or nothing could be in that mailbox.

It could be flyers or bills or checks or a jury duty notice or a letter from a friend that you've missed dearly and there he is sitting in your mailbox.

But wait you decide to close the mailbox and explore what this side of the portal has for you a bit longer.

It feels so good out here you end up taking a 45-minute walk and then eventually you head back to the mailbox portal.

Before walking back into your front door you stop to check in on who you are now.

You feel content.

You feel your body moving through space.

Your left hip has something to say.

Your feet feel just fine thanks to your snazzy new tennis shoes.

So you walk in your house and you hear music coming from one of the bedrooms.

Hmm now you have a choice before you step into this next portal what are you gonna do?

And you're gonna decide how you're gonna do it.

Are you gonna head straight back to the portal of your bedroom and maybe stretch or lie down?

Do you want another adventure to walk into the room where the music is and see who or what you encounter next?

What energy will you bring into that room?

Will they hear your judgment of their music before you've even crossed into the portal?

Or might you walk into the portal dancing even if the music isn't quite danceable?

So I'm offering this idea today to see every doorway you step through as a portal.

Maybe in your mind's eye you can imbue each portal with some colorful lights and a magical magnetic pull.

Whether you call it an obligation or not we choose every place we walk into.

We choose what we participate in and what we close down to once we're there.

We then choose to leave that space and we end up leaving a little bit of us behind,

Our energy trail.

How did you leave that space?

This isn't about always being happy or somehow perfect in every space you enter or exit.

It's about being exquisitely aware that you are alive.

You are in there.

I am in here.

You're in your system.

You're in your mind.

You're in your heart.

You're in your spirit.

Tap into who you truly are or who your higher self is rooting for you to be.

Take a moment to recalibrate and then boldly walk into that next magical portal trusting you'll be authentic to yourself with curiosity and kindness as you step into your next adventure.

Reviews

Love the idea about clearing the space in between sessions! Also love the reminder that we are responsible for the energy we take into a space. Thank you! 🤍

Excellent Meditation. Will carry it with me today!