Take a moment to arrive,
You may be sitting or laying down or simply resting wherever you are and as you do,
Gently take your own hands in your lap,
Hold them as though they were the hands of a dear friend,
Because right now they are,
They are your hands,
Steady,
Reminding you that you're here and that you do not have to go through this moment abandoned.
It can feel unbearable,
Can't it?
Like a scream that no one else can hear.
You could be in a crowded room,
Surrounded by people and still feel unseen.
You smile when you're meant to smile,
You say you're fine when inside you are anything but fine and sometimes that pretending goes on so long that even you forget what the truth feels like.
Loneliness is not just being without people,
Sometimes it's being with people but without understanding,
Without safety,
Without someone who can truly hear you as you are and there can be shame in this,
Can't there?
A shame that whispers if I were lovable,
If I were enough,
I wouldn't feel this way but I want you to know loneliness is not proof that you are unlovable,
Loneliness is proof that you are not loving you,
That you want to be seen and heard and loved by you but that you also have a heart that longs for human connection and tenderness.
So just pause for a moment here with that truth,
Hold your hands a little tighter.
You are not broken for feeling this way,
Perhaps you felt like you needed to hide.
The world is a demanding place where our truths are often too loud to share but are we all walking around hiding our truth?
We mention the positives yet leave out the not so much.
You've learned to wear a mask,
To play the part of the one who's fine,
Who's coping,
Who's cheerful,
Who pushes every valid emotion out of sight in order to fit within the narrative you've been taught because maybe you feared that if you showed the truth of your loneliness people would judge you or misunderstand you or turn away from you.
And so you kept the truth inside,
Unspoken and secret,
Locked away in the quiet corners of your own mind and soul.
This is what loneliness so often is,
It's not just being without others but being without a voice,
Being unable to say this is how I feel,
This is what hurts,
This is me right now.
But hear me clearly and hold my hands,
Feel my words.
Right now,
You do not have to be hidden my friend,
You do not have to be anyone but who you are.
Here,
In this moment,
You are allowed to feel what you feel.
And I am with you,
My words are with you,
Hear me clearly.
Today we carry this together,
You do not need to carry this alone anymore,
You don't need to run.
Today we sit together,
With all the pain,
With all the sadness,
With all the anger,
We sit with it,
Because running doesn't stop it,
It just hides it,
It gives the pain the power,
But when we sit with it,
It softens,
It gives you time to reflect,
To think,
When before you may have just run away.
So whatever you're feeling,
Whatever you hide,
Whatever feels trapped,
Today sit with it,
Hold it with me,
But don't fear it,
Just see it.
This is not new to you,
We hold these feelings within us,
And they are not to be scared of,
They are to be seen,
Because you carry them whether you see them or hide them,
It just depends if you choose them to be a fear or a companion to your journey.
I hid my mental illness for years,
I was scared of it,
But when I could no longer hide it,
When I was cracking and breaking,
I saw it clearly,
And instead of running away from my truth,
I welcomed it,
To become a part of me.
I realized that I didn't need to be seen by anyone else,
I needed to be seen by me.
For years,
It was me I needed,
No one else,
Just compassion and love from me.
Do you see yourself?
Do you welcome you?
Do you welcome you with open arms,
With every piece of baggage you carry?
We all have some,
I have tons,
And I welcome it all.
Take a gentle breath,
Feel your hands still holding on.
Feel that quiet companionship,
You can give that to yourself,
The kind you have perhaps been longing to receive from others.
And ask yourself softly,
What am I longing for?
What part of me feels most unseen?
Do I see myself?
Allow whatever arises to be here,
Without needing to change it.
Loneliness can feel like a wall,
Between you and others,
And you and the world.
But in truth,
It is not a wall,
It is a signal,
A deep call from within you that says,
I want to be seen,
I want to be met,
I want to belong.
And the first step is,
Belonging to yourself.
Instead of waiting for others to see you,
Can you be the one who sees you?
Instead of waiting for others to love you,
Can you be the one who chooses again and again to love yourself?
What would it feel like to belong to yourself,
Even if no one else understands you right now?
Does anyone ever fully understand anyone else anyway?
What would it feel like to sit in your own company,
And instead of pushing yourself away,
You draw yourself closer?
This is not to say that you do not need others,
We all do,
Connection is part of being alive.
But while you wait for those connections,
While you wait for those who truly meet you in your truth,
You can begin here,
You can begin by saying to yourself,
I will not abandon me,
I will not reject me.
I will belong to myself first.
Understanding yourself is the most honorable privilege.
There is no one you will ever know better.
Seeing yourself first as the truth you are is a gift,
Even if what you see and what you hold is all in a pickle,
It's okay.
Because that is when you know that you need you more than anything or anyone.
Hold your hands a little closer,
Imagine you are holding the hands of your own soul,
Feel the warmth,
Feel the quiet pulse of life that runs through you.
Notice that you are not absent,
You are here and you are yours.
Take another breath,
Slowly,
And as you breathe out,
Imagine the loneliness inside softening.
Not needing to be fixed,
But loosening,
Just enough to let in this truth.
You are not as alone as you fear,
Because here,
Right now,
I am with you.
My voice is here with you,
And more than that,
You are here with you.
And when the ache rises again,
As it sometimes will,
Come back to this place.
Hold your hands,
Breathe,
And remind yourself,
I may feel alone,
But I am not abandoned.
And I can sit with myself,
In love.
And as we come to the end,
Maybe you can see this is your beginning.
And when you're ready,
Carry this truth with you.
Loneliness is not emptiness,
It is longing.
And longing is the proof of the love inside you that still wants to be shared.
It is proof that you are alive,
It is proof that you are already enough.
Use loneliness as a recognition that perhaps you have not seen yourself for a while,
And you need to.
You are worthy,
And you are waiting to be loved by you.
So hold yourself tight,
Hold yourself and everything you arrive with in love.
