I have a question for you.
Have you ever experienced a love that has made you feel unloved?
A love that doesn't offer you what you feel you want or need?
A love that moves you off your balance,
That tips you one way and then it tips you another?
Have you ever experienced a love that does not meet you in the middle?
With love comes a pressure,
To make it work and to make it last.
Because isn't that what we're told to have?
Isn't that meant to be one of our bigger life achievements?
If you experience or have experienced this kind of love,
You could be thinking about a partner,
A family member or a friend.
It could be someone you've known for a hundred years or maybe just days.
Love arrives whenever it chooses,
Yet it doesn't leave you so easily.
It becomes an indentation on your heart and it can last forever.
It can also fade.
And when love hurts,
It can be hard to let go.
To let go of those you think you're meant to love and those that you think are meant to love you.
And they might.
They might love you so much,
But it might not be an easy love.
It might hurt.
Their love might come with condition or compromise.
It might come with threats or insecurities.
A demand for change.
A pressure to be who they want you to be,
When that's not who you are at all.
There,
The love stops being real.
Instead,
It becomes a punishment.
But how can you begin to allow yourself to see that?
How can someone you love and someone who loves you cause so much pain?
Your love becomes a collision.
You collide into each other,
Where ice meets fire.
You know without them,
Life would feel healthier.
But the fear outweighs the pain of letting them go.
You cannot be who others want you to be.
It will never work that way.
You must be who you need,
For you.
Winter doesn't become summer because someone wants the heat upon their face.
Winter is a lesson.
It teaches you the power of contrast.
The seasons and life will not always be the same.
And neither will people.
But isn't that what makes the world in its natural form so beautiful?
Without force,
People would thrive.
Just look at Mother Nature.
She is the most beautiful in her natural form.
She thrives in her seasons.
But she is sad when forced to be what she was not naturally meant to be.
Don't change who you are because winter wants warmth.
See yourself and the power of your difference.
The beauty of your individuality.
The strength of your personality.
And the truth of your form.
Love is meant to be natural.
To flow together,
To grow together.
Like a dock leaf growing next to a nettle.
Some people work together no matter what their differences are.
And some people don't.
Nurture the depth of your soul in which hurts.
See how worthy you are without the change others expect of you.
See your goods and your not-so-goods.
We all have them.
Welcome them into your world because that's just a part of you.
And that's perfect enough.
I tried for years to fit in.
To be the same,
To be who people wanted me to be.
And by the time I found myself,
I was so far away from my truth that I didn't know if I'd ever return.
I was drowning at sea,
Anchored by expectations of others.
And trying to swim back to the shore was heavy.
It was hard work.
But in time,
I left people,
Places and things behind.
And life became lighter.
When I reached the sand,
I realized that I didn't know who I was.
So I drew a line and I crossed over it.
I started again from scratch.
I started again and so can you.
Don't ever think that you are not worthy of letting go and stepping across the line you draw.
Sometimes we must,
For the sake of our wellness.
What is life for if not for you?
What is breathing if it's not your breath?
What is beating if it's not your heart?
This is your place on earth,
You own it.
No one else,
Just you.
You deserve love and recognition.
Don't wait for others to give it to you.
It might never come.
Give it to yourself.
You are the most important being because without you there is nothing but empty space.
Some people cannot change,
They cannot see beyond their own hurt,
Their own history.
But it doesn't mean that you can't.
It doesn't mean that you must be the same.
If it hurts,
It's not right.
If it feels good,
It is.
You will know the answer.
Just sometimes the truth aches,
It does.
But you are worthy of that ache.
For it means you are feeling and things are changing.
It means that you are grieving but when you go through that grieving process it also means that you are closer to healing.
Life does not arrive plateau.
There are many valleys to climb and when you are at the bottom the climb looks big and the hike can at times take your breath away.
You're worn out and exhausted.
You have your head down focused upon your feet and breathing to begin with.
But as you climb higher you just stop and look up.
There you see that you have come further than you thought.
Then down below looks small and insignificant.
And you know you'll be fine.
Letting go of what hurts isn't easy.
Even though you don't like it,
You know it there.
And sometimes the pain comes as a comfort.
The hope for change.
And you don't ever have to let go of anything if you don't want to.
But just know that you can when the time is right for you.
You may worry about feeling lonely but loneliness is not being on your own.
It's feeling on your own.
You could have a thousand people around you yet still feel lonely.
You could be all alone with no one there and in that time alone you find the most amazing person ever.
And that's you.
When you gift yourself time and space for you it opens the door to who you are.
To love and discover everything about you in your most natural and vulnerable form.
Remember,
This is your life.
You own this space.
And you are worth living your life for you.
Namaste.
