Soften, Soothe, Allow In The Presence Of Difficult Emotions

We often suppress our emotions to keep moving forward, neglecting the importance of self-care and emotional regulation. Allowing ourselves to fully feel challenging emotions like anger, sadness, or fear can be difficult. However, by approaching these emotions with softness and compassion, we can foster a sense of ease and acceptance within ourselves.

Transcript

Hello friend, I'm honored you're here and willing to join me in this practice of meeting difficult emotions with courage and compassion. Thank you. So for this particular practice, There's an invitation to bring to mind a situation that's happening in your life at this current moment that is a source of stress and difficulty to a mild or to moderate degree. So that might be a health condition that you're facing in this moment or a challenging or complex relationship that you're struggling to navigate, Or maybe it's simply someone whom you care about that is in pain and suffering and you are uncertain about how to support them and it's causing you heartache. So take a few moments here to formulate a situation and can bring to mind the elements that comprise of this situation, Who it involves, The situation itself, If it's isolated as one experience or maybe something that feels kind of more enduring, Reoccurring, Problem or issue. And as you're bringing the situation to mind, Notice what's happening in your body, Particularly what emotions are evoked. Maybe there's a feeling of anger, Frustration, Irritation. Maybe you notice sadness, Grief, Despair. Maybe there's some confusion, Fear, Or you might notice a longing, A desire of some sort or some shame, Some guilt or feeling of inadequacy. Now, Seeing if you can pinpoint the strongest emotion, Often a challenging experience comes with a whole array of emotion. There's a wide emotional landscape, But usually there's a dominant emotion that we have a tendency to resist, That impulse to push away and ignore and struggle with. So seeing if you can pinpoint that particular emotion and naming it. Oh, This is anger. Oh, This is inadequacy. Oh, This is grief. And as you're taking this opportunity to really name it, To see it for what it is, Now noticing how it's coming to life in the body in this moment. So bringing awareness to the body as a whole, Maybe engaging in a brief body scan and then settling the attention on the area where there is more obvious sensations that are linked to this emotion. And often those are characterized by sensations like tension, Tightness, Soreness, Pain, Discomfort, Unease. Maybe there is a heaviness, A constriction, Or even a little fluttering feeling, A feeling of anxiety, Fear. So taking a few moments to find a single location in the body where this emotion is quite evident. And now for the next stage of this practice, We're going to be exploring what it's like to meet this difficult emotion with the qualities of softening, Soothing, And allowing. It to be here. So let's begin with softening into the location in the body where this emotion is most present. You can even imagine that everything around this sensation or this area in the body just begins to loosen and spread. So if the sensation itself doesn't soften, You can imagine that softening just happening around it. It's like bringing a very light touch to something that is really tense. Or coming around and just gently cupping it, Or a warm hug. Now it's important to remember here that we're not trying to get rid of this feeling or change it in any way. We might notice it changing, But really more so we're exploring what it's like to hold it tenderly. So if you wish, You can continue just softening moment by moment, A little bit more around the edges of this experience. And now there's this invitation to intentionally soothe yourself. Simply because this situation is painful and difficult. With this particular intention, It might be helpful to place a hand over the part of your body that feels most uncomfortable. And maybe you can sense the feeling of warmth and gentleness from the touch of your hand. Or perhaps imagining that there's a transmission of warmth and kindness flowing through your hand into your body. Maybe even thinking of your body as your beloved child, Or this very precious organism that is really in need of your attention and care. So continuing to feel that sense of soothing. Maybe there's some comforting words that you need to hear. What would you say to a friend? They were going through something like this. Perhaps, I'm sorry. So sorry you feel this way. I'm here to support you. I care about you deeply. And can you offer that same message to yourself? Even as if you're sitting in the presence of yourself, Saying yourself and saying these words. And now for this last phase of this practice, This invitation to continue allowing the discomfort in whatever way it's still expressing itself, Your body, Mind, And heart to be here. Making room for it. Releasing any desire or need to make it go away. Allowing yourself to be just as you are. Having no resistance to this difficulty. Letting go of any attachment to the desire for it to be any different than the way it is right now. Releasing any entanglement to it being part of your identity. So even just for a few moments, Is it possible to drop the identification of I, Me, Or mine? My pain. I don't want this. I don't like this. Letting that go. And allowing this emotion, This feeling, This difficulty that you're facing, Whether it's pain, Physically, Mentally, Emotionally, Just to be there. And to be seen as a part of the deal of being human. Who am I not to have this experience? Part of the contract that we didn't know we were signing when we arrived on this planet. So spending the last few moments here, Continuing to explore this sense of softening, Soothing, Allowing. You can even repeat those words quietly in your mind, Embodying the experience of them softening, Soothing, Allowing. And when you notice that all of a sudden you're swept away into thoughts and thinking, Whether it's related to the situation or not, Just remembering those words, Softening, Soothing, Allowing, And really allowing or sensing how they take shape. Every time that we repeat them, We are discovering this embodiment of these actions, These invitations. And as a way to close this practice, I invite you to shift the attention, If you care to, To rest lightly upon the movement of the breath. And I like to offer an awareness of the breath at the solar plexus, Central place within, Where all things gather, Where the whole world can come to stillness and to be. Nothing needs to be different. Imagine that. So may we all discover the pathway to peace and ease. May we all turn towards the suffering we experience with courage and compassion and understanding. And within this, May we all find freedom and an ease of well-being interwoven with goodness. So may we all live in peace and harmony with what is. Thank you, Lovely one, For your presence and your practice.