When You Don't Know What Else To Do

Life challenges us. Life overwhelms us. Sometimes, all we want is to come into a Presence that can tell us the truth--that we are loved, that we are okay, that we are enough. This practice helps us to do just that.

Transcript

Hello.

I am glad you decided to join me here and now.

Because life challenges us.

We have our histories that mark us.

We have our futures that can frighten us.

We have our presence that can overwhelm us.

So let's sit here together for a moment.

Breathing in and breathing out.

I have started praying again lately.

These are not the desperate cries,

Or motivated beggings,

Or even the stony silences that I have often done in the past.

To be honest,

These prayers are boring.

I sit,

I wait,

I get up and live my life,

And then I sit some more,

And I wait.

When I pray,

I often imagine myself opening an old wooden door.

And then I descend some steps into a darkness.

A figure in a robe stands on the sand beside a fire.

On rough days,

I'm not going to lie.

I imagine myself curling up into a little ball on the sand as the figure watches me.

On better days,

I sit and watch the fire and the figure.

Now this is not some warm and fuzzy presence.

So even though my thoughts might be a thousand chariots racing around the rutted tracks of my brain,

I know,

I know better than to spew.

So I sit,

I wait.

This presence is not interested in lightning epiphanies or dazzling miracles.

This presence is the presence of long gravel roads and pocked cow pastures.

It is the presence of cupboards with outdated spices and sticky spills.

The presence that sees everything and that sees everything as this,

This moment,

However hard or amazing or dull it may be.

This breath,

The one that keeps us awake and alive in this now.

Which is the only one we can live.

I don't know about you,

But I have fought this presence for most of my life.

I've resisted when others have told me to turn to this presence and maybe that's where you are as you listen to me.

And I don't even know what in the heck I'm talking about when I say presence.

But I do know that when I sit,

When I picture myself opening that door,

When I,

Brave,

Walking down into that space where there is the figure and the fire,

I find calm and ease and peace.

It is not that every problem is solved.

No,

In fact,

Sometimes what comes to me as the next step requires every bit of courage that I possess.

But it's that in that space,

I know,

I know I am okay.

I am loved.

I am enough.

And I let the figure weave those shining threads deep into every fiber of my being.

May you be safe.

May you be brave.

May you know,

Without a doubt,

You are okay.

You are loved.

You are enough.

Sit and breathe.

Give light and shine.

Reviews

Hmmm prayer. Something to ponder. Thank you for sharing your authentic and vulnerable self with us all. You are a gift.

This was raw and from the heart. Maybe I need to do some rethinking about prayer. A different setting perhaps but I would like to feel that connection. I feel alone. Well, I am alone. Karma has bitten me bad and I don’t understand why? I have lived a decent life, was a caring nurse, yet I keep getting drug over the coals howling in pain. And nothing changes. Not that I don’t have good moments, I do, but the bad well out weighs those. I have some thinking to do. Thank you for this. Maybe I will find a presence ~

An absolutely perfect meditation ! So grateful to have found it ! Thank you !!!

A little over a year ago my husband of 45 years died. I was a basket case to say the least. In 6 minutes you made me laugh,think and cry. Your talk also inspired me. I will regain the essence of me one moment at a time. Thank you. 💖🙏

I listened a second time as I’d actually fallen back to sleep the first time. This resonated with me. Visualizing that presence. Hearing those words. I need those reminders. Thank you, Betsy 🙏🏼.

I am a child of love .I am enough .🙏🕯️🙏🕯️🙏what a beautiful delivery once again of such brilliant reminders

2nd listen of this!
I realized how much your personal,vulnerable and positive posts have meant to me and so many....hopefully like the 103 yr old I mentioned we too as we'mature' 😆 will come to her peace and purpose but for one I know it is you who have helped me on that journey no matter what sort of'colored days' I am having. 🌞( refer recent E mail😉

As always, perfect timing for me. Thank you Betsy. Appreciate it.

Oh gf, I know too that I am loved, a good person and have purpose in my life.. I have fought binge eating since the beginning of time and it is exhausting. Because I'm not over weight it's not apparent to others, but that long dark staircase is one I dread going down..
Hugz

I ❤️ it! I am feeling like I am not sure right now and this made me feel like it is okay.

Beautiful 😌 you are loved and you are enough Betsy 💛 we need to tell ourselves and each other this every day...I hear you and thank you 🙏💛