Take a deep inhale and let it go.
Inhale.
Exhale.
Welcome to a hit of hope,
And this one's a wee bit salty.
Once upon a time,
I was in line at the grocery store.
I was having a bad day.
Well,
A bad year,
Really.
And I was sad and angry.
At the time,
Life felt like something to endure,
Not enjoy.
Inhale.
Exhale.
And of course,
I had chosen the wrong line to get into.
In front of me was a woman with a cart filled to the brim with groceries.
On top of that,
There were two kids in the cart.
One was about five and the other was about two,
And the two-year-old was sobbing.
Inhale.
Exhale.
I soon figured out why.
The five-year-old was stealthily poking the toddler in the ribs.
Again and again.
I was about to move to a different lane because the sobbing was hard to bear,
But then I locked eyes with that child.
It's hard to explain,
But in that moment,
There was this deep,
Empathetic connection between the two of us.
As if we both knew,
Right then and right there,
Exactly how hard it was to be human.
Inhale.
Exhale.
As the child and I stared at each other,
The sobs started to quiet a little,
And then a little more,
Even though the sibling was still poking at him.
Before long,
All that was coming out of the two-year-old were those little hiccups that kids have after they've been crying.
Now,
This is not to say I am some kind of toddler whisperer,
But for me it was a great lesson in the power of presence.
When bad things happen to other people,
The tendency is either to rush in with a whole bunch of words,
Or freeze,
Or run,
Because what in the world can we say to make it better?
Inhale.
Exhale.
Sometimes all we need is a presence,
Someone who is there with us,
For us,
In this grounded and spacious way.
Inhale.
Exhale.
When I was sick,
A friend who was also sick told me that if I ever needed her,
She would be happy to come over and just sit with me.
No words necessary.
I never took her up on it,
Because,
Well,
At the time,
I don't know if I could have said why I didn't.
Maybe because it felt awkward.
But now I know I didn't take her up on it because had I had that kind of loving,
Quiet presence in my life right then,
I would have lost my shit.
Inhale.
Exhale.
What do I mean by that?
When I was sick,
It wasn't that I was only sick.
There were many other difficult things happening in my life.
And for a whole host of reasons,
I decided that the only way through was to pretend everything was all right.
No one,
And I mean no one,
Knew what I was going through.
Inhale.
Exhale.
So if someone had sat with me and shown me care and concern,
I think every last bit of twine and duct tape I had slapped over the holes in my life would have torn apart,
And I would have exploded into a sobbing mess.
Just like that beautiful snotty-nosed kid in front of me.
Inhale.
Exhale.
Oh,
How I wish I could go back to that broken self that I was and whisper in her ear,
Call your friend.
Sit in the presence of someone who cares for you.
And you know what?
Given all that you are facing,
Of course you should be weeping right now.
Inhale.
Exhale.
We are all human,
And life will be wonderful,
And life will hurt.
And sometimes we will know what to say to someone who is hurting,
And sometimes we won't.
But we can be the person who is there for someone else.
The person who shows up.
The person who provides presence and offers care.
Not only that,
But we can also risk being vulnerable in the presence of someone who cares.
We can dare to show we are not okay.
We are a crumbling mess of a human being.
Because more often than not,
Pretending everything is hunky-dory only makes everything worse.
Inhale.
Exhale.
If you are struggling,
Reach out.
If you see someone struggling,
Reach out.
While our human experience is singular,
No one will ever experience the same things as you do.
The human condition is universal.
In this thing called life,
We can use all the help we can get.
Inhale.
Exhale.
Live Light.
