Sometimes it feels as if there isn't much we can control.
But you know what we can do right here,
Right now?
We can take a deep breath and hold it for just a second.
Now release it.
Let's repeat that.
Inhale slow and deep.
Now hold.
And let it go.
Welcome to a hit of hope.
Almost two years ago,
I was making my way through a long and dark valley.
And I needed every reminder I could get to breathe and ground.
As I was coming out of a day-long workshop,
Where I'd spent the day pretending everything was okay,
When everything was definitely not okay,
I found a teeny tiny plastic doll on her side in the parking lot.
I picked her up and examined the plastic figurine more closely.
I didn't understand.
What kind of kids toy was this?
Had the Buddhists launched a line of dolls?
Here is Nirvana Nellie.
Play with her and you'll find enlightenment before the third grade.
I thought that because this mannequin's hands formed the hakini mudra,
Or gesture of the goddess.
This hand gesture is meant to create an overall sense of harmony and instill equanimity.
It's supposed to build self-esteem and inspire a deep and unshakable joy.
I didn't know all that then,
Nor did harmony and equanimity,
Self-esteem and joy ever seem possible again at that point.
But I did know that something good happened inside of me when I looked at this mannequin,
Who held her hands in this sweet gesture right at her very center.
I looked around and didn't see a child in sight that she might belong to,
So I took the mannequin home and put her to the left of my kitchen sink,
In a place where I would often see her,
Where I could pause,
Inhale,
Exhale,
And remember her clear and compelling command.
When you are in a valley,
Hold on to your center.
When everything is not okay,
Hold on to your center.
When you are struggling,
Hold on to your center.
When you are putting yourself out there,
When you are forced into a narrative that you do not want to be living,
When you are broken,
When you have no choice but to keep on walking through your valley,
Hold on to your center.
Know who you are.
Know how you want to be.
You might fall and fail.
Scratch that.
You will fall and fail.
But get back up and hold on to your center,
Because days of sweetness and joy will come again.
Days when you are fierce and badass will come again.
Days when you know you are the shizzle,
They will come again,
Because you really are the shizzle.
Trust me.
Through it all,
Hold on to your center.
Inhale.
Exhale.
Namaste.
