Befriending Anger

This guided practice is an excerpt from the Compassion Conversations live session on Insight Timer. Anger is a powerful emotion that is often misunderstood. When rooted in a clear mind, anger can help us define and set boundaries, and clarify our values. It channels our energy into action out in the world and gives us the strength to create change. In this practice, you will center in the heart, explore a relationship with anger, and uncover its messages and guidance.

Transcript

So I'm going to invite you to go ahead and get comfortable. And get as comfortable as you possibly can. And you can do this lying down. And if you do choose to lie down, I invite you to put something beneath the knees. That way we'll take pressure off your low back so you can really sink in and get cozy. And placing something behind the head can also be really helpful. If you're seated, It's good to have something behind the back for a practice like this because we're going to be doing a little visualization. And then you don't have to put a lot of effort into staying upright. So it's a little bit different than a concentration practice. So just go ahead and let yourself get comfortable. If you have a blanket or a shawl or a wrap, I encourage you to put that on for a couple of reasons. One, It helps you stay warm because our body temperature drops when we go into practice. And two, There's a soothing quality to it. When we place the blanket over us or a shawl around the shoulders, It adds a layer of what can feel like safety. On a very subtle level, Our nervous system receives this and says, Oh, I'm okay. So go ahead and get comfortable. Put a little bit of a wrap around you or a blanket. And when you feel ready, Go ahead and close your eyes. So we close our eyes, It's an invitation to move inward, Into our heart, Into our inner experience. And we get to pause for a minute from the outer world. And from here, We'll take a nice full steady breath in through the nose. And then pause here for just a moment, Holding the breath, And then open the mouth and sigh. Exhale. And then slowly letting the breath out very slowly, Softening through the forehead, Around the eyes, Even around the jaw and softening the tongue. And inviting another full breath in, Feeling the belly and then the chest expand. And pause at the top of that inhale. Open the mouth and gently release, Sigh it out. Exhale. Softening through the shoulders, Upper body, Even down into the fingertips. One more like that breathing in steady through the nose. Pause. Open the mouth, Sigh, Exhale, Gently letting go. Allowing the body to now sink into the support beneath you. Just feeling fully supported as the body finds a natural rhythm of the breath. Each breath flowing fluidly, One after the other. Feeling that there's nothing that you need to do here. The body already knows exactly what breath it needs. It knows the pace. This allows you to soften. Feeling the support beneath the spine, Beneath the hips. As you soften through the top of the head and the forehead. Allowing the eyes to sink a little deeper into the sockets, The eyelids release. Softening through the jaw. The teeth separate just a little bit, Inviting a little ease in the jaw. You soften through the throat and the neck and shoulders. Now in the front of the chest and the top of the back, Soften. Softening through the upper arms, Elbows, Lower arms, Both hands. Softening through the abdomen and the lower back. Just the whole upper body softening, Sinking into the support beneath you. Softening through the hips and the pelvic region. The buttocks, The upper legs, Both knees, Lower legs, Both feet and all 10 toes. Just the whole body softens. Gently bringing your awareness now into the flow of the breath. You might imagine the breath entering in through the crown of the head, Drawing down and pooling and gathering in the heart. As you exhale, The breath draws downward, Down the spine, Exhaling down into the air. You might inhale back up through the base of the spine into the heart and exhale through the crown of the head. Continuing to breathe in this way, So alternating, Drawing in through the crown into the heart, Inhale down to the earth, Inhale earth to heart, Exhale heart to sky. Continuing to breathe in this way for just a couple more breaths. Gently bringing the breath, That intersection at the heart. And gently calling into your awareness the feeling of anger. Might even say, I'm inviting in my anger, My fire. There may be a story or an image associated with this or a person or an encounter. Simply notice and come back to the feeling. Might even draw the hands together into a fist and just hold and feel that sensation that moves through the closed fist, The tension in the hand, Travels up the arm. Noticing where in the body this travels to, Notice what happens to the breath. From here you might simply say, Ah hello anger my old friend. Thank you for being here. Looking and sensing into this anger and welcoming it. Might notice how the hands feel if they want to continue being held closed, That's okay. It might feel okay to open them, That's okay too. The hands might want to go back and forth, Inhaling close, Exhale open. Inhale close into a fist, Exhale open wide. Hello anger my old friend. Thank you for being here. Seeing if you can sense into what the anger looks like, The old, The young. It's a type of color, Temperature, They have a texture or shape. Hello anger my friend. Hello I see you, What are you protecting? Hello anger I see you, What are you protecting? What needs defending? What are you protecting? What needs defending? What are you protecting? What needs defending? Any images, Sensations, Thoughts or feeling tones that arise, Welcoming this and saying ah thank you. Thank you for this information. Thank you for being here. Another nice rich breath in through the nose, Now open the mouth and exhale with the sigh, Letting the jaw open wide. Do two more breaths like that, Taking a nice breath in through the nose, Open the mouth and really exhale, Open the jaw wide. Nice. From here gently if it feels welcome to you, Placing the left hand on the heart, Next hand right on top of that so both hands are resting on the heart. Allowing the breath to travel down into the legs, Focusing on the legs feeling heavy, Grounded and strong. You're breathing down into the legs and breathing out from the legs. Finally breathing in down into the pelvis and the hips, Feeling the breath soothing, Grounding, Exhaling from the hips. Holding awareness of the hips and the pelvis fully supported and the breath flowing fluidly here. And then bringing the breath now gently into the abdominal area. It's breathing into the abdominal region, Feeling the breath gathering here and then gently exhale from the abdomen. The whole abdomen is filled with breath and gently bringing your attention into the hands and allowing the breath to flow into the hands that are resting gently on the heart. Breathing into the hands, Breathing out from the hands, The hands resting on the heart. And gently bringing the awareness to the mouth itself, The whole mouth, The tongue, Teeth, The lips, The gums, Feeling the flow of breath moving just around this area. Just holding your awareness here, Just awareness of the mouth, A place where breath can flow, Where we are nourished. And gently holding awareness to the whole head. Becoming aware of the whole head, The whole head fully supported in the whole body. And becoming aware of the whole body. The whole body together strong, Soft, Supportive. Strong, Soft, Supported. And at ease, Sensing into the experience of easeful strength. Easeful strength. The whole body. Easeful strength. Breathing back into the heart, Noticing what's present here at the moment. Becoming aware of any sensations, Images, Feeling tones. Sensing and seeing what's present. You might ask, Is there anything here that my anger would like me to know? Is there anything here that anger would like me to know? What would anger like me to know? I'm listening. I'm listening. I'm listening. I'm listening. Taking one more full breath in and very slowly, Gently exhale. Feeling the whole body sink further into the support beneath you. To gently bring your awareness into the flow of the breath. Becoming aware of the points of contact between your body and the support beneath and around you. You might even begin to visualize the space around you and your body within it. You might invite soft movements into the fingertips and the toes. The next inhale, You might reach the arms way up overhead if that feels available to you and holding them there. Holding them up for a second and exhale releasing. If you're lying on the floor, Notice if your legs feel like coming in toward the chest and giving them a big hug. Just even rocking side to side. And if you're seated, Just letting the hands rest gently on the lap. Just noticing how they feel there, The points of contact. And if you're lying down, I'll invite you to roll over onto one side now and taking the hand that's closest towards the sky and pressing it down on the earth in front of the heart to support you as you come back to a comfortable seated position. We'll all come back together seated. And we'll place the palms together in front of the heart in a prayer position. From here I'm going to invite you on the next inhale to raise the arms up overhead in a V. And exhale drawing them back down together into that prayer position, Just gathering that strength back down. So inhale, Open the arms up. And if that doesn't feel okay, It's okay, Just let them go as far as feels right. That might only be a very small movement of closed hands. That's okay. See what feels right in your body. Open the hands to whatever degree feels welcome. Take in that nice breath. Exhale, Draw everything back towards you. Two more like that in your own face. Inhale, Reach. Exhale, Draw together. You've completed two. Just finding a resting position, Hands in front of the heart and pause. Just scan the body from head to toe and toe to head and notice how the body feels. Revealing the hands, Taking a nice full breath in through the nose. Open the mouth, Exhale, Tuck the chin to the chest and invite a soft grin to form on the lips. The corners of the mouth draw towards the ears to a soft curious grin, One that says, I wonder what anger has to teach me. Thank you. And gently opening the eyes, Bringing the head back to center and taking the arms out to the side and giving them a good shake. Shaking the arms, Kind of shaking the hands so you're flicking water off the fingertips. Just give them a good shake. The shoulders might want to get involved. That's okay. If you feel called to move the legs, Do so as well. Let the body invite any movement that it feels like it wants to engage in. And finding stillness and pause. Welcome back. Thank you.

Reviews

That was so helpful, thank you. I have never thought of befriending anger before or listening to it. It felt great.

I feel a lot less angry than when I started

Thank you for that! though I still need clarity as to what anger tries to teach me. Hope you can help me more! 🙏

This was so powerful! Thank you so very much. Love and light xxx

Exactly what I needed! I’m still not sure what my anger is trying to teach me, but I’m feeling more open to exploring than I was. I’ll definitely return to this meditation often! 🙏🏻💚