Being In Control Or Being Controlling?

There is a big difference between being in control and being controlling. For much of my life, I tried to control the external factors rather than taking time to get in control of myself. This short talk shares some of that inspiration with you so that you have an opportunity to expand your awareness.
I hope this helps you to find more joy and a larger sense of empowerment within your day to day.

Transcript

Hi there. My name is Anita Kaiser and I wanted to share with you today a little bit about the difference between controlling and being in control. And as an empath who has experienced trauma that deeply affected me, I've spent a lot of time trying to control the external factors in my life. And it hasn't worked very well. You might already know this from your personal experience, And you might be struggling with this. And so I wanted to share some of what I've learned on my journey, So that you can struggle a little bit less. The being in control involves radical responsibility for self. It takes knowing oneself and understanding what makes you tick, As well as understanding where your triggers come in and honoring those. Being in control means allowing all the emotions that come in to move through you, And that includes anger and sadness. And then being controlling is about trying to control others and trying to manage what they're doing so that you feel more in control. And in terms of emotion, When you are raging, That is an out of control experience. So where you are beyond control. And so I think it's really important to understand the difference around controlling and being in control. Allowing yourself to notice what is going on for you. And I'll just share a quick example that a client shared with me. During COVID lockdown, When, You know, We have certain pathways we're supposed to take in a store, We're supposed to be wearing a mask. And so our frontline retail staff, They're just told the rules and are expected to follow them. And of course, Some people are able to nicely say, Hey, You know, This is the wrong way. I need you to put on your mask. You can't go any further. We need you to be masked. This is the direction of this particular row. And then there are other people who tear a strip off you for going the wrong way, Or for not having your mask. And so, In that example, One person is in control of themselves, And one person is completely out of control. I'm sure you can figure out which is which. And that's what I wanted to share with you. Leave me a comment. Let me know if this was helpful for you. And be sure to follow me on Insight Timer so that you can be informed anytime I'm doing a live or I share a new meditation or talk. Thank you so much.