Practical Tools For Sleep And Deep Rest

If you struggle with falling asleep or staying asleep, this talk offers a variety of ideas and resources to support you. Join Andrea to explore practical tools that soothe your body, quiet your mind, and help you create the most restful environment for yourself.

Transcript

Welcome. If you struggle with falling asleep, Staying asleep, Or getting back to sleep. We are going to create your toolkit for sleep and deep rest. A quick note before we begin. I wanted to share a variety of my favorite practices and tools with you, So you'll have lots of options to choose from. Of course, You can feel free to listen to this recording all the way through. Or you can pause along the way and come back to explore different sections as you create your toolkit. If you have taken any of my courses, You probably already know that I am a big fan of having a toolkit filled with lots of practices that we can turn to whenever we need them. When it comes to sleep. We don't want to wait until it's the middle of the night to start trying to figure out how to calm our nervous systems. The goal is to get prepared ahead of time so you'll have tools available when you need them. Before I dive into specifics, I want to encourage you to write down any practice you hear that feels like it might be supportive or useful. If you don't already have a pen and paper nearby, You can press pause and gather them now. Or you can start a note on your device. Over time, You can memorize your favorite tools. But for now, I'm hoping you'll create a list and keep it right by your bedside. I wanna start with a little framework for you to consider. Imagine a parent and a child. The child wants to stay up all night. They want to play on their screens, Eat ice cream, And drink soda. But a loving, Wise parent knows that giving their child everything they want in the moment, Especially before bed. Isn't always what's best for them. So when it comes to rest preparation and sleep. Your wise mind is that loving parent. And you get to treat your body and your nervous system just like a conscious, Loving parent would treat their child. It's so important to know what your body needs and to do your best to honor that. If there's a part of you that wants to stay up later than your wisdom knows is good for you. This is about honoring what you know is best for your body. You are the only one who knows how it feels inside when you watch certain content. When you drink caffeine. Or when you scroll on screens longer or later than you know is best for your system. So this is all about learning to kindly and firmly stay true to your body. Your adult wise mind has custody over this body of yours, And you are the only one who is going to make the decisions that will support your best rest. I wanted to start with this overall frame because to me, That's how you use any of these tools. It's about a wise, Loving parent taking care of this body you live in. Now let's move to sleep preparation basics. You've probably heard it all, And I may not tell you anything brand new, But since I don't know what you already know, I'll go over some of what I know, And I'll do my best to keep this section brief. If I say something that you already do, Or something you'd like to try, You can add it to your list. Let's get your toolkit loaded up with potential practices that you can make part of your evening routine. The first aspect of preparation is wind-down time. How much time does your body need to wind down before bed? Some people can attend a social event. Or do a solo activity. And with zero transition time, Simply lay down and they're out like a light. Others need an hour of reading. Or 20 minutes of meditation or soft music. Getting to know your body and honoring what it needs is what matters most. I know that if I've been active right up until the time I'm getting into bed, I don't tend to fall asleep easily or rest as deeply. So I turn everything off at least an hour before my ideal bedtime. I read, I meditate, And then I fall asleep easier, Sleep deeper, And wake up feeling rested. I've learned that about myself through trial and information gathering. So how much time does your body need to wind down from the day? Experiment and see what you learn. Notice your patterns and do your best to honor what you discover. Now we shift to screen time. I've already mentioned screens a few times because it's such an important topic. If screens are part of your evening routine, How much time before bed does your body need to turn those devices off? Just like that child in the example I gave, You might have a part of you that wants to stay up and scroll. And scroll and scroll. But your body will tell you what's best for you if you listen. Stay curious about what your body and your intuition know about how much screen-free time you need before bed. Next we have content. What are you feeding your mind right before bed? Just like we can pay attention to how different foods affect our bodies. We can also pay attention to how different content affects our nervous system. Some of what we take in can leave us feeling peaceful, Connected, And nourished. Other content may leave us feeling tense, Worried, Or overstimulated. So if you notice that something you're watching, Reading, Or listening to is activating your nervous system, You might experiment with choosing something more soothing and gentle before bed. It's so important to give our brains a break from processing too much information. So we can begin to wind down and prepare for sleep. I know in our fast-paced, Highly stimulating, Plugged-in culture. This might be much easier said than done. But sometimes, Something that feels challenging in the moment can have really positive after-effects. I challenge myself regularly to make sure I'm in charge of my screens rather than allowing my screens to be in charge of me. Next on our prep lineup, We have lighting and sound. Some people can sleep with a lamp on right next to them. I'm not one of them. Some people need blackout curtains and an eye mask. We all need different things. I'm a big fan of black masking tape. I've covered up any little electronic lights in my bedroom with black tape so it's nice and dark. Find what your body needs. The same goes for sound. Some people can sleep with a television on. While some people need white noise or earplugs. So do your best to create the setting that feels best to your body. Along the lines of comfort, It's important to pay attention to your temperature needs. Some people sleep better when their room is on the cooler side, While others prefer a warmer, Cozier environment. So you get to create the conditions that best support your body's rest. Another thing to experiment with is consistency. Our brains and bodies tend to appreciate rhythm. Going to bed and waking up at approximately the same time every day, When it's possible, Can help support your body's natural sleeping and waking cycles. Next up, We have caffeine. Some people can have a double espresso in the evening and sleep like a log. While others can't touch caffeine without it affecting their sleep. Most people fall somewhere in between. So do your best to listen to your body and experiment if you need to. If you struggle with sleep, You might try stopping caffeine earlier in the day than you normally do and see if that makes a difference. Everyone has different sensitivities to caffeine. The next idea is what I call belly-bladder balance. This is about finding that sweet spot between when you have your last meal or snack and when you go to sleep. Some people can eat right before bed and sleep well, While for others eating too close to bedtime can make it harder to settle in because their body is still digesting. On the other hand, If you eat too early, You might wake up hungry during the night. So we get to find what feels right for our bodies. The same goes for your bladder. You don't want to drink so much water or herbal tea too close to bedtime that you're waking up to use the bathroom all night. But you also don't want to cut yourself off so early that you wake up thirsty. So, These are some aspects of preparing for sleep and rest. When we create calming routines for ourselves, The brain and body begin to recognize those familiar actions as signals that it's time to start winding down and preparing for sleep. I want to shift now to setting an intention. I love doing this before bed. If you don't already set an evening intention, You might consider giving it a try. You could do it right before you get into bed, Or you can get cozy under the covers and think, Write, Say, Or whisper your intention. Mine usually sounds something like this. I am ready to release the day and slide into a deep, Peaceful, Restful sleep. I welcome peaceful dreams. I let every cell and organ in my body restore and renew. And I look forward to waking up feeling rested, Grateful, And ready for a new day. Now that's not something I have memorized. I just usually say something along those lines that feels meaningful to me each night. So if you'd like, You can create your own intention or share mine. Let's shift now to attitude. What's your typical attitude when it comes to sleep? Many people who struggle with sleep feel a lot of stress, Worry, And pressure around the topic. Imagine there are two dials in front of you. One dial represents pressure. Pressure to fall asleep. To get enough hours to try to make sleep happen. The other dial represents rest. The ability to soften. To let go. And allow your body to settle. A lot of times if someone is struggling with sleep or insomnia. That pressure dial can be turned up very high. Cranking out thoughts and questions like, I need to fall asleep. What if I can't? I only have five more hours before I have to get up for work. Oh no, Another hour has passed. I have to get to sleep. While questions and thoughts like these are completely understandable, Pressure doesn't help. So the goal here is not to fight those thoughts, But to gently turn the pressure dial down. And turn up. The dial that represents rest. This is the dial we want to turn up high. So instead of focusing on the pressure to sleep, We shift our attention toward rest. We give ourselves messages like. I can let my body rest. I let my body be soft. And relaxed. I allow my body to rest. If I fall asleep, That's great. If not, I can still get deep rest. Ironically, When we shift our focus away from the pressure to try to force sleep and instead allow ourselves to rest. We often end up falling asleep. But if we don't, We still have the opportunity to rest. And that really matters. So if you find yourself struggling with sleep, Consider turning that pressure dial down. And the rest dial up and see what you notice. Now I want to shift to some practices that you can use as you're getting ready to fall asleep or if you wake up in the middle of the night. You may already know many of these, But my hope is that you're creating your toolkit as we go. So if your mind and body become overactive, You can simply glance at your list. And pick a tool. Ideally, You can keep your list somewhere that's easy to access without overstimulating your system. Maybe it's on a device with the brightness turned all the way down, The sound off. And Wi-Fi off if possible. Or perhaps your list is on a piece of paper next to your bed that you can glance at using a soft lamp on a dimmer. That way, If you need it, You can briefly glance at your list, Choose one or two practices, And back to rest you go. Over time, You can memorize your favorite practices and your toolkit will begin to live inside of you. First up, We have mindfulness. Bringing yourself back to the present moment. Many people find themselves awake in the middle of the night with their minds traveling anywhere but the present moment. Maybe the mind is off in the future, Thinking about tasks or life situations. Maybe it's rehashing something from the past. Or maybe it's going on and on about not being able to fall asleep. With the simplicity and effectiveness of mindfulness. You notice your thoughts without judgment. You recognize that your mind has wandered. You observe your breath. You notice the feeling of the blankets and the pillows. You gently guide yourself back from the future and the past. And return to the arms of the present moment. Mindfulness gives our minds a safe place to rest. Next, Let's look at somatics. While mindfulness invites us to observe our thoughts, Emotions, And sensations with awareness. Somatics places a greater emphasis on the direct felt experience in the body. It's about sensing what it's like to be right where you are. You might notice the weight of your body resting on the mattress. The mattress holding your body. The feeling of the pillow supporting your head. Or really feel the weight and texture of the sheets or blankets on your body. You can also create a physical anchor of safety through your own touch. You can place a hand on your heart or your belly. And apply a little gentle, Comforting pressure and allow yourself to receive that support. You can even gently rock yourself while you're lying in bed. If you're a side sleeper, You might softly rock back and forth on your side. Somatic practices can signal safety to the nervous system and help our bodies soften, Settle, And let go. Now let's move to breath work. All the many things we can do with our breathing in the middle of the night. You can observe your breath. Simply watch it move in and out. You can listen to your breathing. I love doing this at night, Really hearing the sound of the breath. You can use imagery with your breath. I like to imagine my breath as a soothing tropical breeze moving gently through my body. You can deepen your breath. Or slow it down. Or count your breaths. You can also try a physiological sigh. This is where you take a double inhale through the nose, Followed by a long, Slow, Audible exhale through the mouth. Many people find this breathing pattern very calming. Those are a few gentle breath practices. There are many others you can try at night. It's really about finding what feels the most soothing to you. Another simple tool you can try is counting backwards. You can pair this with your breathing if you'd like, Or you can simply focus on the numbers themselves. You can start with any number, But many people like to begin with 100 and slowly count down to zero at a pace that feels soothing. Some people like to picture each number in their mind as they count. If you fall asleep somewhere along the way, That's great. And if you reach zero, You can simply begin again. Counting backwards gives your mind something peaceful and steady to focus on. Now let's shift to sleep meditations. It can really help to have your favorite sleep meditations picked out and saved somewhere that's easily accessible. We don't want to wait until the middle of the night to start searching for teachers, Voices, Or practices that you like. Of course, Listening to a guided meditation does entail turning on a gadget. But if the practices you love are already saved or downloaded and you can easily access them. And you've got the brightness turned all the way down and your notifications off, Hint, Hint, It can make a huge difference. You just press play and you're good to go. I have several sleep tracks available and there are countless other teachers out there. So I hope you will gather your favorites if you haven't already. Along those same lines, You can also gather a few mind-soothing recordings. I have several that speak directly to an anxious mind. If those are of interest to you, Just go to my menu of meditations and search for words like worry, Busy mind, Monkey mind, Or anxiety in the track titles. You can even record your own track in your own voice. Of course, You'd write it and record it in the light of day, Telling yourself exactly what you need to hear in the middle of the night. It could be something like this. I can't solve anything right now. It's the middle of the night. There's nothing I need to fix, Figure out, Or plan in this moment. I am safe. I am warm. Right now, My only job is to let this body rest. Sleep will come when it's ready. For now, I let it all go. So you can record something along those lines or whatever would feel soothing for you to hear. You can gather or create these soothing tracks ahead of time, So they'll be there whenever you need them. This next idea comes from both personal experience and a question that I've received from students in my anxiety relief courses. What if I'm worried about something in the middle of the night, But it's not something I want to let go of? It's actually something important that I need to remember the next day. Well, This calls for what I refer to as write, Record, And release. There's a difference between your mind going round and round with worries that aren't helpful. Versus your mind bringing you something useful like a reminder or something you need to do or a creative idea. If it feels like the only way to quiet your mind is to get it out of your head, Sometimes the best thing to do is leave yourself a little voice recording or jot it down on paper so you can then let it go for the night. For me, Unfortunately, Entire class outlines have come to me in the middle of the night. I don't know why they can't come at 9am, But that's sometimes just how it is. So instead of trying to juggle all the ideas or worrying that I'll forget them, I will groggily record myself talking through the outline for a course or do my best to write it down as legibly as possible. And then I go back to sleep. Next up we have mantras. Mantras are wonderful because they give the mind a single focus. If you don't have a favorite mantra, You can do some research during the day. I have two favorites that I'll share. One is very simple. Deep rest. I think deeply. On the inhale. And rest. On the exhale. And I find a soothing rhythm and I repeat it over and over and over. I usually end up falling asleep, But if I don't right away, I find it to be a very calming mantra. Rest. Another mantra I really like is one that I learned years ago from a yoga teacher and I have found it to have a very calming effect. I'll spell it before I say it. H O N G. S-A-U. And it's pronounced hung saw. HUNG SOCK It has several meanings, But the meaning I was taught is, I am spirit. And it really has a lovely rhythm to match with your breathing. So you think hum as you inhale. And saw as you exhale. Hung. Saw. In my house, We've actually turned it into a verb. My husband or I will sometimes say, I hung sod last night, Or I hung sod myself to sleep last night. We use that one quite a bit around here. Your next potential practice is eye movements. Our eyes are closely connected with our brains and nervous systems, So gentle eye movements can be a very simple way to relax the body. One eye movement you can try at night if you'd like. Is to close your eyes. And slowly, Without any straining, You look from side to side. You might imagine that you're watching a slow motion game of tennis, Following the ball back and forth, But with your eyes closed. It might sound almost too simple, But many people find these rhythmic movements surprisingly calming. And of course, With all these practices, Only do what feels soothing and supportive to your body. Next, We have progressive relaxation. This practice has been around since the 1920s and it was developed by a physician as a way for him to help people notice and release physical tension. This can be especially helpful for stress, Anxiety, And sleep. Progressive relaxation involves intentionally tensing and then relaxing different parts of your body. You can do a traditional full body sequence or you can do a modified version. So you would simply choose a body part, Let's say, For example, Your shoulders. And you bring them up, Up, Up, You squeeze them tight, And then you completely relax them. And then you would move to another body part. You might choose your feet. You might squeeze your feet, Squeeze, Squeeze, Squeeze, And then release, Or your legs, Or your face. Or even your whole body. Of course, We only want to squeeze and release body parts that feel good. This isn't about hurting yourself in any way. Only do the practices that feel good to you. But some people find that this practice, Progressive relaxation, Leaves them with a deep sense of peace. If squeezing your muscles feels like too much physical effort at night, You can try another relaxation practice called autogenic training. This is a relaxation technique that uses silent, Repetitive suggestions to help bring a sense of calm into the body. Just like with progressive relaxation, There is a standard sequence, But you can also try a modified version if you'd like. In this practice, You silently repeat calming phrases while bringing your attention to any sensations that come up in your body. You're not trying to force anything to happen. You're simply giving your body a suggestion and allowing it to respond. Here are some examples of statements you could silently repeat. My arms and legs are heavy. My arms and legs are warm. My heartbeat is calm and regular. My breathing is calm and steady. As you repeat phrases like this, You can notice or imagine sensations of heaviness, Warmth, Calmness, Or steadiness in your body. These phrases can really help our bodies settle into a relaxed state. Okay, The last practice I want to mention is what I call soothing presence practice. This is one that I really love. With the soothing presence practice, You call to mind anyone or anything that feels deeply soothing to you. This could be a teacher. A wise being, A loved one, A guide. An animal, A spiritual figure. Or even a place that brings you a sense of peace and comfort. When I do this practice. I often think of two teachers who have deeply influenced me. Thich Nhat Hanh, And Eckhart Tolle. I'll imagine Thich Nhat Hanh guiding my breathing. And Eckhart soothing my mind. Sometimes I'll even imagine a whole group of supportive people or beings around me offering their calm presence as I lay in bed. This practice is completely up to your imagination. Whatever person, Being, Image, Or presence feels most comforting and supportive to you is what you bring to mind. And then you just get to lay in bed and receive. Okay, We've covered a lot of ground today from masking tape to mantras. I hope there have been at least a few ideas that have resonated with you. Before I let you go, I want to mention a few final things. Sometimes sleep challenges aren't only about a busy mind in the moment. While the practices we've explored can be very supportive. It's also important to remember that there can be physical contributors to sleep difficulties as well. I always encourage people to check in with their health care providers about any medications, Supplements, Hormonal changes, Or other physical factors that may be affecting their sleep. Another important piece is making sure that in the light of day, You are doing your best to tend to your thoughts, Feelings, And needs. Of course, None of us do this perfectly, And we're never truly done. But sometimes, People stay so busy or distracted during the day. That the moment their head hits the pillow, All those unresolved feelings come rushing forward. That's when self-critical thoughts can bubble up and unmet needs can start asking for attention. So we want to do our best during the day to soften any unkind thoughts, Comfort our emotions, And reach out for support when we need it. When we give ourselves compassionate care during the day. It really helps us go to bed feeling less burdened and more settled. Okay, That is a wrap. I thank you for joining me all the way through here. I hope you've gathered a list of practices that you can turn to if you ever find yourself stuck in or heading toward any late night mind traffic. You can choose a practice from your toolkit and steer yourself onto a peaceful, Restful path. Thank you so much for joining me and I wish you deep, Deep rest.