What To Expect On Your Healing Journey - Insight Timer Live

In this talk, Andrea guides you on what you can expect as you are starting your emotional healing journey. And more importatnly how to manage through the process and come out whole on the other side. This is a previously recorded Insight Live Session with questions and answers!

Transcript

My name is Andrea, For anybody who's not familiar with me. I normally do meditative journaling here on Insight Timer, Where we combine journaling and meditation. But what I actually teach on multiple platforms is emotional healing as a way to access our higher consciousness and have spiritual growth, Because it's really difficult to trust and have spirituality if we are stuck in the emotional turmoil that comes with being a human. This isn't, We're all broken or anything like that. It is, We are here to experience life. We have situations that cause emotional trauma to us. And in order to grow spiritually and evolve, We actually have to stop and heal what is going on. And a lot of people either never start this journey or get stuck because they just weren't expecting what it entails. So we're going to go through today what I wish I had known when I started my journey. And so quick overview. My emotional healing journey started approximately 16 years ago when my son was born. And I did a little bit of work then for about a year, Year and a half, And then kind of went back just into regular living. And then about five years ago, Found myself just absolutely miserable and basically did a deep dive. I spent years really putting a lot of time and energy into healing myself after a divorce and a bunch of other stuff. And what I'm going to talk about today is really what I wish somebody had said to me five years ago. It would have made the journey a whole lot easier. So I am going to dive right in unless there's any super quick questions before I get into what I really wish I had known. And then I will follow that up with how you can navigate the issues you're going to face. So, All right, Let's dive in. So the number one thing that I really wish somebody had told me is this takes time. There is not a magic pill. There is not a magic tool. There is not a magic process that is going to instantly work. You are not going to have one counseling session and be better. You are not going to have one meditation and be better. It is a long process. And this is because most everything comes in layers. So you don't end up sad, Depressed, Frustrated, Or with a limiting belief, You know, After maybe one event. Now there are one events that can trigger a lot of trauma. Absolutely. But what I have found is even the one events that triggered trauma in me, It was still building on a limiting belief or something else that had been leading me to that point. So you have got to allow yourself the time and the grace and the presence because it's not going to happen right away. So keep that in mind as you're going down. It's just going to take some time. With that, The second thing is it takes work. It isn't I'm going to sit here in quiet for 10 minutes and everything's going to be fine. It really involves you digging in to figure out what are the limiting beliefs? What do I need to heal? Is this a karmic issue? Is this what is this that is here causing this? And that's part of the reason it takes time is because a lot of times are limiting beliefs and what's blocking us from healing isn't just it's not like you're going to open up a book and you're going to go. It takes a series of events to get you to an insight. An example I had literally from this week, Two days ago, One day ago, Is I had a mini panic attack over something I should not have a mini panic attack. And so I went to my journal, Which is where I do most of my work, And started journaling about why. And then I was like, Okay, So I'm going to go read this thing my friend sent me two days before that. And I took that and then I took my panic attack. And then I took some lifetime lessons that I had been looking on and I pulled all three of these things together and figured out what the limiting belief was. And not only did it take me three different areas to figure out what it was, But it was building on work I had been doing for years. So that's why it takes time and it takes work is because it's not just if it was super easy for us to heal all this stuff, Then no one would have any issues. Everybody would just be super happy. So that's that. Now, The number three thing I wish people had told me, And it kind of plays on what I just said, Is everything is interwoven. You very rarely have an emotional problem that is this one thing. And so I actually like to compare it to those mazes that you do where you go in and try and find your way out and there's dead ends and everything. And as you're on your emotional healing journey, You're in this maze and you're lost and you're walking around and all you're like, Wait, I've been here before. Wait, I've been here before. And the more you do the maze, You start to learn. Okay, No, Not down that, Not that way. I know it's down that way. And you eventually learn your way out. Then here's the kicker. You're like, Okay, I finished the easy level. I'm going to go to the next level. So you go to the maze next door and you start doing the same thing. You're looking for the edge, Outing, You keep going and moving and moving. And then all of a sudden you actually find yourself back into the first maze because you realize now that they're all connected. And so as you are working on say a limiting belief around money or love and all of a sudden you find you have the exact same issue over in career or self-worth or whatever it happens to be. And that adds this extra layer of difficulty to get through everything. As we are working on it, We realize, Oh, This is going to take me some time. For me, The biggest one, Besides for being a people pleaser, I had a lot of conflicting interwoven messages around money. And so I am still continually finding those little hidden layers where everything is interwoven, Where I'm like, Oh, Okay, Now it makes sense as to why that was being blocked and not coming in. Oh, That makes sense as to why I panic on this side of it, But not on this side of it. So when you are looking for those things, Look for things that are meshed, Look for the patterns. So if you're struggling with relationships all the time, Start to identify the issues, But then look where they are in the other areas of your life because that will help you hone in on the interconnectedness. All right. The fourth one, And this is where we start to get into the part where emotional healing actually becomes something you have to heal the process. And that is your issues are going to keep coming back. You're going to be like, I thought I covered that. And it comes back up. And there's a few reasons for this. One is it's the universe testing us. Did you really learn that lesson? Let's see if you really, Really learned that lesson. And so it gets put in front of you again. Another reason same issues will come up again is as you clear them, As you take care of this aspect over here and you move forward in your journey, You reintroduce the subject from a different perspective. It's not something you could have gotten until you got this one piece. So sometimes you have to get this piece in order to even get here to this piece. And so you might feel like you're going backwards, But in reality, There's like another level for you to uncover. And then there's another component as to why the stuff will keep coming back up is we have our four bodies. And so if you've healed it on the emotional level, But haven't done any work on the physical body, Then it will trigger that issue coming back up because your body has muscle memory and remembers all the emotions and everything. So if you haven't released those at the same time that you are releasing the emotional side, You will encounter a situation and your mind's like, I got this and your body's like, No, You don't come on. You need to panic. Let's go. So you have to kind of clear it on all levels in order for that issue to slow down the pace of it coming back up. And then the next thing, Number five, Is there is going to be times where you wonder why you are doing it. You stop and you go, Seriously, I would have been a lot happier if I had just ignored all this stuff. There is a point where sometimes it just gets worse because it's hard work. It takes time and you just have to trust that it's going to get better. But no, You're going to have some really bad points. You're going to have days that you're like, Why am I doing this? Can't I just go back to being oblivious to everything that I needed to work on? There's sometimes that I finish journaling and go, Seriously, Like when is the list going to end? But just knowing that I can say from experience, Sticking with it, They start to drift off and I'm happier and in a better place than I ever could have been if I had just ignored everything. So I'm going to take a quick pause to see if there's questions before we keep going. I know I just talked really fast. So yes, Issues are all interconnected. One, I feel as if people are wanting to control my life. My question back to you would be, Are you allowing them to control your life? I would explore that. It is not easy. What are the levels? Can you be more specific levels of of what? Levels of clearing? Do you mean like the? Different body systems. I'm still not clear. I'm sorry. I'm not clear. I'm clear. You know, It's different for everybody. It depends on what you're working on. So you have the emotional body, You have your physical body, Your spiritual body, And your mental body. And when we're doing emotional healing, Most people just look at their feelings, But it is actually on every single level. And science is finally starting to catch up with the wisdom traditions and understanding this. And what happens is you would experience an emotion or a physical, An emotion or a trauma. Your body's endorphins and neurotransmitters and all that fun stuff doesn't just react in your mind. It reacts in every single aspect. So dopamine isn't just hanging out in your mind. It's in your immune system. It's in all your cells. It's in your hormonal system. And so when you feel an emotion, It moves through the body. And when you don't acknowledge it and heal it, It stays in the body. So if you go to counseling and start to unwork the emotional part, The body doesn't always release the physical part at the same time. And so you can do that through things like tapping and body work, That type of thing. So yes, That's the four of them. Do you stay away from controlling people then? The easy answer is yes, But that's never easy, Especially depending on who it is. I would suggest you start working on boundaries. I, In my journey, I was not good at boundaries. And so controlling people gravitated to me. And so boundaries was really critical for me. And the people who could then honor my boundaries, They were the ones that went away. And then the ones that who could actually pay attention to my boundaries. They were able to still stay in my life and I was able to function on a better level. So, Excellent. Welcome. Trauma from other systems. I can do a whole different talk on that. We can get into that later. I will add that to the bottom of my list so we can get into those. So, All right, I'm going to get into the rest of the points. Okay, The next thing that I wish I had known on my journey is that small progress matters. A lot of people don't do the work. They don't do the journaling. They don't go to a counselor. They don't, You know, Sit in meditation because they think that they need to sit for hours on end or that it won't be worth it. But what I have found is that sometimes even 15 minutes has a really big impact. And if you do 10 minutes a day of whatever activity you feel like you need to do, You will begin to see over time that it really does make a big difference. So, Don't let your ego trick you into thinking that you have to have this pile of time in order to do this work. You just don't. Take 10 minutes a day, Work it into your routine however you can, And just stick with it and it will evolve over time. And then my last point, Which we kind of started to talk about, Was there are physical components. You will need to trigger the, It will trigger things that come up and feel physically. Your body will react. Just to give you an example from today for myself. So, One of the things that my body does when I'm freaking out is gives me a migraine. And so, I woke up with a migraine. I'm like, What? I'm like, Everything's fine. Nothing happens. And upon deeper peering in, There was still a lot of stuff coming up with teaching this very thing right here. And so, Sometimes we need to listen to that physical component because my mind and body was like panicking. I used to have a fear of public speaking. And so, My body was going, Hey, This is the point where we freak out. And my mind was like, Yeah, Let's give her a migraine. Whereas my emotional and spiritual system went, Oh, No, No, Guys, We're done with that. We don't need that anymore. And so, What I did then to remove that is journaled, Kind of said, Hey, We're good. No need to worry about that. I went on a walk and then I did some Reiki beforehand and all better now. So, That physical component, If your body is in pain, Ask it what it needs. It might not be that it needs sleep. It might need to be heard for some reason. So, Really pay attention to what your body is saying as you're doing this work. Additionally, One of the things that will happen as you are combining the work. So, If you're doing body work with your emotional healing, Your body will start to purge out the memory, The muscle memory. And a lot of times, You hear this referred to like as ascension, Sickness, And whatever. But basically, Your body is literally detoxing. It is taking out all those emotions and stored traumas and releasing them. So, If you are in the middle of doing a lot of emotional healing work, And all of a sudden you find yourself sick and you're normally not sick, Allow your body to rest. Allow it to catch up. Allow the body to take care of what it needs. And really ask it what it needs because everybody is different. So, One of the, I guess that's not even on my list, But the thing you need to remember is everybody's different. So, Something that works for me might not work for you. And so, You just have to be open to exploring. Like one of the most powerful things for me for rewiring everything was tapping, Emotional freedom technique. But I know people that it does absolutely nothing for. And so, You need to kind of work through what works for you and what doesn't work for you. I will say with that, Give it time. Don't try it one time and go, That doesn't work. You know, Give it, Just give it some time. And again, You will know or you won't know. And then don't be afraid to go back and try stuff. Now, I do have three tips that I have that will help you deal with all this. And then we will open it for questions, Discussions, Whatever. So, The first thing that you should do is commit to your journey and trust in yourself. If you know exactly why you are doing this, Then it makes the process that much easier. So, It might be a simple affirmation that you just post on the wall somewhere. Whatever works for you, But commit to the process. When you make a commitment to, I am going to be healthier, Mentally, Emotionally, Physically, And spiritually, It makes it easier to manage this whole process. And that was when I went through my divorce, I basically said, I am committing to me and healing everything I need to heal before I ever move on to the next relationship. And that was my commitment to me and that helped me stick through it no matter what, Even on the tough days. So, Then the other thing is to take time off. This is especially important if you are having the physical aspect, But there is also a component where you need your subconscious and your spiritual team working for you. And so, If you have done a lot of work and you feel like there is not much coming up, Take some time off. Take a week off, Take a couple of days off, Whatever feels right for you. I often find that in my downtime of not working on something, That is when all the ahas come through. Because our brains are continually working, The problem solving areas of our brain do not stop when we are not focused on it. They just keep trucking along and so they are pulling all these ideas together. So, If you take a break, If you are stuck on an area, It might help push you further. Just make sure to get started back again. And then the third thing is have a support system. You absolutely just cannot do this alone. Now, Whether that is a counselor or a friend or a support group, Depends on obviously you and your circumstances and everything, But make sure that you have people around you know what you are doing and will not be judgmental about it. Be very careful about who you pick out to be your support team because you want somebody who is really in your corner in order to help you through it all and who isn't stressed that you are changing. And so for me, That was my counselor and my best friend who also happened to be on her journey also. So, It kind of worked out perfect for us. So, Those are my tips for starting the emotional healing process. So, Let's open up for questions, Comments. Concerns. Let me scroll and see. Yes, Marta, Self-awareness is critical. And it's at me, It is actually the main piece that's going to help you zone in on what's going on. So, Like when I was talking earlier about the panic attack I had this week, It was a one sentence thought in my mind first thing in the morning. And normally, You would just kind of push that aside because it was a tiny one sentence thing and my gut reaction was no, No, No, Not to worry about. But then when I got to my journaling and really started digging in, That was the key in. So, Definitely self-awareness. Okay. An aura shield. Personally, Okay, So my take on creating any energy protection is that you have to do what works for you. There's not one particular right way. So, For me, For my aura protection, This is going to sound really weird, But I imagine I have like a spiritual jar of Vaseline and every night I actually take it and imagine that I am putting it around my aura, Filling in the gaps, And then it seals back up. And then I pull out the toxic energy and put it in. But it's, You know, If you're able to connect with your guides, Ask them what the best way is, What you find the most beneficial. I know my son does it in a completely different way. So, Trust that you know the right way. Another thing that you can do is imagine a protective, Like eggshell white light surrounding you. That helps too. Okay, I saw a question about. . . Where is it? Bodywork. Okay, So bodywork is a really large, You know, Item list of bodywork. But yoga is one, Massage is one. It's anything that you're really kind of working through, Energetic. It can be a walk, But anything that is moving your body while you're releasing or right after you've released. So, A lot of times you'll do like a journal session or meditation and feel like you either need to sleep or walk. That's your body going, Hey, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, I'm not done processing. And so, You do kind of have to leave time for that also. And if the more you explore bodywork, There is some really cool things. Like I was talking to my massage therapist and she was telling me about this practice where if you're comfortable with your massage therapist, They go to counseling with you. And so, As you're talking to your counselor, You know, It'll be like, Oh, I feel that back here and then your massage therapist works on that area while you're talking to your counselor. So, There's some really cool things out there if you want to check it out. So, My go-tos are massage and yoga and tapping. Sorry, It scrolls super fast. So, I have to do. Okay. Bodywork, Got that one. Sophie, Yoga is great. I would kind of tap into what you like to do for release. You can also do Tai Chi, Kind of anything there. Okay. How long after my divorce? Ah. I didn't make real progress like where I could go, Okay, I'm doing good for 18 months. And it wasn't for another 18 months after that that I was like, Oh, Okay, No, I'm good. Now, I will say part of that was mine was. So, Back to the interwoven when I said I'm not going to move on until I can be good for a relationship. The issues that I had from my side stemmed from childhood. So, After I cleared the divorce portion, I then went and worked on those same issues that were in the childhood. So, I would say divorce 18 months, But it really wasn't for another 18 months after that that it kind of got to the point where I was like, Yeah, This works, Okay. So, I was like, Okay, I'm good. I was like, Yeah, This works, Okay, So. All right. Reiki works for me too. Yep, Also emotional freedom technique, It really is easy to learn. So, If you do a few sessions, I'll teach you one of my tricks is I do my journaling and then when I'm finished with the journaling, I do a quick summary, What were my feelings, What came out of it and then I use that to actually tap through it right away. So, It's like I've taken the information that I've gotten and then I tap straight away. But once you've done a few tapping sessions, It becomes much easier to do your own. And there's a lot of people who do videos and books and everything, So. All right, Let's see if I have these. Oh, And thank you so much for your donations. Donations help Insight Timer and me provide this stuff for those who need it without costs or anything. So, Thank you so much for those donations. Okay. Um. Sure, I can do that Brandy. Oop, It just scrolled away. Brandy asked if I could read the questions that I'm answering. Um. Okay, So the question is, How to heal negative emotions like envy and feelings of being inferior or not enough. So, The first thing that I would start with is figuring out why you feel like that. Why, What is triggering the inferiorness? The more that you know about a situation the easier it is to heal. So, Instead of just saying, I feel like I'm not worthy of something. Figure out why. It might just be a list. It could be one specific instance from childhood. Whatever it is, The more that you understand about why you feel like you are not enough, The more that you can begin to heal those emotions. And what I have found is that the more that you understand about it, The more they start to heal on their own because you understand why you're feeling like that. So, If you're frustrated because your sibling got something that you didn't and you figure out that it's because it struck a chord of something that happened when you were kids, You can then go back and heal that which in turn helps with those emotions in the present moment. So, The more you know the better. Is physically tapping your hands and face? And it just ran away. So, The question was, What's happening? So, Tapping is a series of taps on meridian points. And basically, So this is your first one and then you do forehead, Side of the eye, Under the eye, Under the nose, Chin, Collarbone, Under your armpit, And then on the top of your head. And as you're tapping through that cycle, You are talking through what you're feeling, Why you think it is, And then turning it into a positive. There are other tapping points besides those, But those are the basics. And basically, It works because it is kind of running on the meridian system. They're doing more and more research on it. There's, And I can't remember who's doing it, But there's a place in California. It's an actual university that is studying it for use in PTSD with soldiers and is helping. So, If you just Google tapping or search, Like I saw somebody said that there's people here who do lives for tapping. That's a really great way to integrate what you're learning. And sometimes I will tap when I'm panicked, But not calm enough to journal. Tapping calms you down. And so you can do a quick series of tapping before you start to dive into why you're feeling like however you're feeling. So, Amy, What is the best way to navigate through chronic anxiety and insomnia? One day at a time. That's cheesy advice, But it really is. It goes back to those 10 minutes. If you can only do 10 minutes a day, Just really going through and being very compassionate with yourself. Again, Having a support team. Insomnia, There can actually be a lot of different reasons, And it depends on if you're falling asleep or if you're, It's waking up in the middle of the night. There's a lot of issues with that one. But, You just have to kind of slowly take it step by step and understand that it's going to be an up and down through the process. And I wish I could be more specific, But everybody's different. And I guess the way that I look at it is I, So from what I did is I did just kind of kept looking for reassert, Shearance, Went to my counselor, Journal in between sessions, And then allowed that to come out. One day I would be fantastic. The next day I'd be sobbing on the phone to my best friend. And I had to honor where I was. And I would say, At least here in America, I don't know about other places, We're told really not to sit and feel our emotions and not to express them. And that's actually the worst thing that you can do because of that physical component. It will hold on to everything. If you have a really bad experience and you go, Oh, I'm fine, I'm going to shake it off and we're just going to get on with it. Go, Go, Go. You're doing yourself more damage than you are actually helping yourself. So stop, Let yourself feel the feelings, Let yourself have a bad day. And then slowly over time it gets better. It really does. So if you're really interested in this physical component, There is a book called, Just total mind blank on it. I refer to it all the time. Molecules of Emotion by Dr. Candace Pert. It was actually written in the 90s. But it's a really good book. She is one of the scientists who discovered that the neuropeptides were in more than just our brain. And so the book goes through kind of the personal side of how she got to that. But she also then talks the science side of what happens when something happens. Something triggers those chemicals to be released in your body and where they go. So that was Molecules of Emotion by Dr. Candace Pert. That gives you a lot more information. Also the HEAL documentary, If you haven't seen that. I finally, I watched that and I'm like, Oh, There we go. There's 15 years of research summed up. Her name is Dr. Candace Pert. P-E-R-T. And she is no longer with us. But she made huge headways into Western medicine having to acknowledge the chemical part. And the part that I love the most is that she actually worked with Deepak. And he kind of guided her spiritually and that was pretty cool. HEAL was the documentary. I'm going to put that in. And that's her name. There we go. Okay, Let me see. Thank you guys so much for the donations. That helps. All right, Let me see. Okay, Got that one. Okay, Nia, I hope I said that right. What are some good open questions to ask your body when in pain? I suffer my pains too. The one that I use is what do you need me to know? I will kind of either get into a meditation state or relaxation state and say, Okay, What do I need to know? Now, Sometimes our physical pain is just physical pain. Like I lifted weights yesterday and my legs really hurt. But if it's pain that you don't know where it's coming from, Stop and ask. Why? What do you want me to know? Why are you still here? What's going on? What do I need to pay attention to? All right. Okay, Annie, That's a great question. And she asks, Are there still benefits to verbally saying I forgive and let this go even if you don't physically feel like you've forgiven or let go? Annie, I do think there are benefits to saying that. But what I wouldn't do is say it and then move on. If you are still feeling like it's not done, Then it's not done. Super popular opinion. I don't like affirmations. At least the way they're taught. And this kind of plays into that. So we're basically taught affirmations just say this over and over and over again and it's going to work. Well, If you're saying over and over and over again, I'm amazing, I'm amazing, I'm amazing, And you have ten limiting beliefs that say that you're not, You're going to say, I'm amazing, I'm amazing, And your limiting belief is going to go, Aren't you cute? So you really have to stop and do the inner work, Get to that limiting belief. And then when you fix the limiting belief and that limiting belief is gone, Those affirmations will help you move forward. So if you want to say I forgive and let this go, That will help you in the process as you're still doing the work. So I hope that helps. Yep, You will never believe a lie. Tammy says you'll never believe a lie. You just won't. So you can say affirmations till you're blue in the face if you're not going to do the work to get to the problem, It's not helping you. In fact, It can make you frustrated. I remember when I was at the phase where I didn't realize that, I'm like, They don't work for me. And I'm like, Pow, This doesn't work. But once I cleared it all, And I even found that once I cleared it all, There was very few affirmations that I needed, And they were usually reminder affirmations instead of trying to change my mind. I would use affirmations as more of kind of like, Hey, Remember we figured this out? And go from there. So, All right. Is there any questions I missed? It flies through, So if you had a question that I didn't get to, Let me know. Oh, Thank you Marta so much for your donation. They really do help me do this. I joke that it's so I don't have to go get a job at Starbucks, But it really is. So thank you so much. Okay, So if you are interested in future lives I have, You can click my picture wherever it happens to be for you. And click follow, And the bell and insight timer will actually let you know the next time I'm on live. And the next time that I am actually live is tonight at 7 p. M. Central Standard Time. And tonight we are actually going to talk about how to go after your dreams with fear still being a factor. And we are actually going to talk about that physical component more and tactics on how to continue to live your life and move forward when fear is really overwhelming. And then if you're new to journaling, Saturday I'm doing a session on journaling techniques. So, All right. Thank you so much Marta. Good afternoon. All right. Oh, Thank you so much. And I know I am not going to pronounce this correct. Is it Filomena? I'm going to have to look up the annunciation on that one. Thank you so much for your donation. So if you are journaling, It's my go-to. I don't know what I would do without journaling. And I do actually have a circle called Meditative Journaling where I post prompts every day. So if you are a journaler or are new to journaling, Go to the circle tab and look for Meditative Journaling. Join us there. If you have questions that pop up afterwards, You can drop me a message. I'll get back to you. But thank you guys so much for joining me.

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Good talk