Thank you for pressing play on this meditation.
This is about choosing faith or fear while also feeling alone.
For myself,
I have personally felt the deepest pangs and pain I've ever felt in my life of loneliness and even hopelessness in these last few years of going through a divorce.
And the main source of pain comes the moment that my kids leave after spending a week with me to go with their dad.
It's in that moment where the world stops and I sit and I'm almost paralyzed and I don't know what to do.
I don't know where I'm supposed to go,
Who I'm supposed to call,
Or what action I should take next.
And you often hear,
When you feel alone,
You're not alone.
But when I'm alone,
I feel alone.
And,
You know,
There have been times over these past three years where I am in these waves of motivation and inspiration where,
Especially in,
You know,
The nicer months in the summertime when it's nicer out where it's like they're gone and I'm out the door running or going on a big hike or an adventure.
But the winter,
It's just so,
So still and miserable.
One of my favorite quotes is by Albert Camus,
And he says,
In the middle of winter,
I at last discovered that there was in me an invincible summer.
And I love that because it just shows that there is always faith,
Hope,
Something to look forward to if we can just keep going and find our path.
For me today,
I started to go down my self-sabotage cycle of eating junk food,
Watching reality TV,
Ordering DoorDash,
Looking outside and seeing that it wasn't too ugly outside.
It wasn't too miserable.
The sun was shining,
Very icy.
But I forced myself to get outside.
I really didn't want to,
But I did.
And I went for a 5-kilometer walk.
And while I was walking,
I saw this older lady walking towards me and she had this white jacket and these white fuzzy mitts and a white toque and white cat eye glasses.
And I thought she looked so cool.
And I said,
I like your outfit.
And she's like,
Well,
The other day,
Someone said I look like a snowman.
And I said,
Oh,
I think you actually look really glamorous.
And she says,
Oh,
Heavens,
You just made my day.
And she had this like smile on her face and almost like speechless.
And then we just kept walking on our own paths on our own direction.
And I just,
I felt good.
Like it gave me this wave of joy and peace and hope.
And I thought,
That's it.
We need to continue to find our purpose so that we can lift others up.
And that's why I got inspired to write this meditation.
So now I'd love to transition with you into a meditation.
Close your eyes and allow any tension to just melt away.
And if you are feeling alone,
Or having a hard time keeping the faith or facing your fears,
Just know you're not alone.
There's a meditation teacher out there who talks a lot of optimism,
But also feels the same way as you.
But continues to stand up continues to search and seek and find and be the light.
That's you too,
Because you're just a reflection of me.
Take a deep breath in.
And slowly and gently exhale again,
Just letting anything go that you're holding on to.
And as you exhale,
Have your heart space opening just a little more.
Open up your chest,
Almost like your chest and your heart space is facing up towards the light,
Towards the sun.
Like your heart's rays are in alignment with the sun's rays.
And just know that being alone is okay,
Because think about the loneliness and isolation that a caterpillar feels.
But really it's,
It's transforming.
It's in this season of isolation and transformation to on the outside of that become the most beautiful,
Free butterfly.
And that's us too.
If you're like me,
Sometimes you'll lay there at night and all your fears,
All your worries come all at once like a wave and it feels heavy.
And you just feel so hopeless and that fear still lingers.
And it's still filled with some doubt and whispering those doubtful things in your ear.
Even in that thickest of night,
That dawn always arrives.
There's like this hush before the dawn and the stillness before the world wakes up.
Faith comes in the form of songbirds who begin to sing their song while the world is still cloaked in darkness.
That songbird does not wait for proof of the sun.
It sings in trust,
In knowing,
In certainty that the light will shine again.
And so must you.
So must you.
No matter how dark it feels,
Always hold on.
Keep your heart open.
There you will see a single golden thread stretching across the horizon,
Whispering that your light has never left you.
Your light has always been within you.
And maybe it's got some cobwebs and debris that have covered it.
Maybe you've forgotten.
But that light is always within and that light will always prevail.
Because it is meant for you.
It is meant for you to shine.
I like to imagine indigenous sun dancers who dance for 24 hours straight.
And they move through the night.
They move through their hunger and their trembling and their achy bodies.
And not to suffer but to become.
This dance is a journey of self-reflection,
Sacrifice,
And transformation.
Seeing beyond possibility,
Seeing beyond who they are,
And feeling the outer universal spiritual realm,
That other dimension of connectedness and truth.
They surrender their fear to the rhythm of the earth,
To the sky stretching endlessly above them,
Until they are no longer themselves but something greater.
And so must you.
So must you.
There is no wall.
There's no chain.
There's no locked door.
It's an illusion.
The moment you choose to believe in your own strength,
Any perceived wall or block or feeling of stuckness will vanish.
I am ready.
I am ready.
I will choose faith.
I choose faith.
I choose faith.
I step into the light.
I step into the light.
I am free.
I am free.
Now,
You were never meant to be small,
To cower beneath the weight of your own brilliance,
Your own becoming.
You were not meant to sabotage your purpose,
Your talents,
Or your gifts.
End the self-inflicted cycles of doubt.
Step forward and let the new morning,
The new season,
The new day catch the edges of your being and lift you into that radiant,
Brilliant being that you are.
The sun is rising,
And so are you.
Step into it.
Then take another step,
And another.
You will be guided.
Courage uncovered.
Radiance released.
The world is waiting for you.
Now,
Let me ask you this.
Who are you becoming?
Who are you becoming?
What must you do today to move into that direction?
What will you do today to move into that direction?
And last question,
Who will you serve?
Gently open your eyes,
And now place your hands over your heart.
Take a deep breath in,
And slowly exhale with your hands on your heart and a smile on your face.
Choose faith.
And give gratitude for this life,
This breath,
This moment,
For the journey,
For the ability to overcome,
The resilience,
The opportunity to change.
And I just thank you so much for joining me.
All my very,
Very best.
Keep me posted.
You got this.
