ADHD In Women: My Story

For years, I believed I was lazy, oversensitive, disorganised, and simply not trying hard enough.
In this personal reading from my book, ADHD in Women: Letting Go of Self-Doubt and Embracing Who You Are, I share the journey that led to my own ADHD diagnosis.
From childhood memories and school struggles to the life-changing moment I heard someone talking about ADHD on the radio, this story explores why so many women go unseen and misunderstood for years.
You'll also hear one of my poems, I Remember, I Remember, written for the little girl who always felt different but never knew why.
If you've ever wondered why life feels harder than it seems to for everyone else, I hope this reading helps you feel seen, understood, and a little less alone.
You are not lazy.
You are not broken.
You are not alone.

Transcript

ADHD in Women. Why ADHD in women often goes unseen. I've been called many things over my life, But the ones that stick are forgetful, Oversensitive, Fussy, And lazy. Sometimes the word was said lightly, Almost like a joke. Oh, Don't worry about her. She's always like that. Sometimes they came with a sigh or raised eyebrows. No one meant harm, But over time, Those comments settled into me like quiet truths. And without realising it, I started to carry them. I became the one who was always running late. The one forgetting simple things, And the one who wore her emotions on her shoulders. I wrote to-do lists, Bought planners I never quite use. I tried hard to stay organised, To keep on top of everything. And I felt totally overwhelmed and exhausted. There were evenings when I was so tired I needed to go to bed by seven o'clock. Even the idea of cooking felt impossible. I stand in the kitchen completely unmotivated. Telling myself, Just start with the cutting of the vegetables, Just do the next thing. It was the only way I could move through it, One small step at a time. The shame quietly wrapped itself around me, Little by little, Until I began to believe those labels were who I was. I thought, Maybe I really am lazy. Maybe I really am just disorganized, Emotional, And too much. I wondered what was wrong with me and why I couldn't seem to manage life the way that everybody else does. And why I felt so tired all the time. And then I learned. About ADHD in women. And for the first time, It all made sense. I wasn't oversensitive, I just felt everything deeply. I wasn't fussy. I was noticing details others didn't. I wasn't lazy. I was overwhelmed and exhausted. I wasn't broken. I was misunderstood. At the time, However, I didn't know any of that. Until one day, Something unexpected happened. I was listening to the radio when a conversation about ADHD in adults came on. At first, I almost laughed at the idea, Because in my mind, ADHD was something very different from the life I was living. I pictured the boys at school who would never sit still, The ones always getting towed off for fidgeting, Talking too much, Or disrupting the class. And that image had stayed with me for years. And it certainly didn't sound like me. But as I continued listening, Something inside me began to shift. The more the speaker described ADHD, The more I began to recognize pieces of my own life. I thought about how often I felt overwhelmed by things that seemed simple for other people. I would sometimes put off tasks not because I didn't care, But because I didn't know where to begin. How time seemed to disappear without warning and leaving me rushing to catch up. For the first time, It felt as though someone was describing experiences I had never quite been able to explain. At first the recognition was about the present, But over the months that followed, As I continued learning about ADHD in women, My thoughts slowly began to drift backwards. I remembered moments from school that suddenly looked very different through this new understanding. I remember school was confusing. I struggled to concentrate and often lost track of instructions. Sometimes I was punished for not listening. I can still remember standing in the classroom facing the wall while the other children sat at their desks, And I quietly reached a painful conclusion about myself. I thought I wasn't clever. I thought I was a difficult child. Lazy and not trying hard enough. Looking back now, I realize none of these things were true. I was a neurodivergent child growing up in a world that didn't yet understand how my brain worked. As I reflected on those years, I found myself writing this poem. It captures the confusion of being a child who knew she was different, But had no words to explain why. I remember, I remember. And this poem reflects on my childhood experiences with ADHD. When I was young, One of my teachers noticed something different about me and referred me to a psychiatrist. My parents and the psychiatrist believed I was fine. Looking back now, Though, I can see my neurodiversity was always there, Even if nobody recognized it. I remember, I remember, I struggled in school. The lessons moved fast and my mind felt stuck. I remember, I remember, Feeling different, Feeling apart. Like a puzzle piece searching for its missing parts. My teacher at school said she could see something different within me. They sent me away, Told me to go, To a psychiatrist who would somehow know. My mum and dad said there's nothing wrong. The psychiatrist agreed I seem to belong. But now I look back and wish they'd seen neurodiversity was a part of me. I remember, I remember. And sometimes I cry. For the child who felt different. For the child who never knew why. Looking back now, I can see there were other signs too, Although I didn't recognize them at the time. I remember walking around town with my mum and suddenly feeling completely exhausted. The noise, The people and the constant movement around me would become too much and I would feel drained in a way I couldn't explain. Even then, I often felt different from those around me, Different from other children at school and at times even different from my own family. I remember sometimes wondering if I had been adopted, Because I felt so unlike everyone else, As though I didn't quite belong. Looking back now, I can see how many of these experiences were early signs of something I simply didn't yet have the language for. For many women, ADHD has been a hidden companion. Not because it isn't there. But because it rarely looks the way people expect. Instead of obvious hyperactivity, It can show up quietly through daydreaming, Overwhelm, Emotional sensitivity, Forgetfulness, Or the constant effort of trying to keep everything together. And because of this, Many women grow up believing their struggles are personal failings rather than signs of a brain that works differently. Thank you for spending time with me. If you recognize yourself in any part of the story, I hope you leave with a little more compassion for yourself than you had. Remember you are not lazy, You are not broken and you are not alone. Take care and I'll see you again soon.

Reviews

I cried a lot, this is exactly my story too. It was hard being a neurodivergent kid in a time when adhd and autism were not known by many. So good now knowing there are others… and all are unique and special in a good way ❤️

Tnx for your story and beautiful, poweful poem. Do you also have RSD? Love to learn more about this in ADD women. Wishing you the best! ❤️🌹