How To Create Space Before You React

Self-awareness becomes especially useful when we can access it in the middle of an experience, not just afterwards when we’re wondering why we reacted the way we did.

Our bodies often give us information before we have words for what’s happening, through changes in breath, temperature, tension, sensation and impulses.

This playful somatic practice helps you strengthen your ability to observe those signals in real time, creating a little more space to understand what you need and choose how you want to respond.

Transcript

How many times have you sat after a difficult situation and you just thought to yourself like, Oh, Why did I say this? Like, Why did I react this way? When we're faced with a challenge, We have a very short window to either react or respond. And sometimes all we need is just a little bit of space, But how do you get this space when you're in the middle of this interaction? There's all these practices of like, Count backwards from 10, And do this, You know, Three things you can smell, Two things you can, That does not work for me. I like to entertain myself, So the practice that I have for you today is very simple. You're gonna just pretend that you're watching a Netflix documentary, Okay? This Netflix documentary is about you. So this is the way it's going to go. You're in an interaction, It's starting to get a little heated, Or you're noticing yourself checking out whatever it is. You're just gonna. . . Kind of jump out of your body. Grab the popcorn that's sitting right there beside you and just observe, Okay? So imagine yourself just floating above your head, Watching what's happening. So the way that it looks for me, Let's say that I'm angry, It just, You know, I'm outside and I'm like, Oh. Foreheads getting the foreheads getting nice and tingly I can see she's getting hot her face is getting red okay she's kind of like doing this a lot because my mouth gets dry and then I start to notice that like stomach starts to tighten and I'm bracing and like things literally begin to build in the body. This charge begins to move in the body. So when I'm outside watching myself, I can see this happening. Okay, This is happening to my head. This is happening here. It's almost like a little scan that I go through. And from that place, I can come back in and actually give myself something that I need. So sometimes I just need to ground a little bit. When I'm angry, All the energy comes up. And I need to just feel the ground a bit. Or I might have a lot of energy in my stomach, So I put my hands here and I can still be in the discussion. I can still be in the situation, But I'm just more aware of what's happening so I can take a few deep breaths. You know, There's a way that giving ourselves a little bit of space to observe, To see what's happening. Gives us just a little bit of space. It creates a little bit more capacity for us to be able to see what we need. It could be a little break. It could be something that needs to be said. But it only happens when we slow down enough to notice and to be with ourselves, To start to essentially learn the language of the body. As a somatic therapist, This is what I do with people all the time. I get them to slow down and really feel what's happening. So you can try it right now. You don't if you're not in a heated situation right now, It's actually a lot better to just do this when you're in a neutral space, Just like notice your feet. Is there any sensation in your legs? Maybe there's something happening in your chest or in your stomach or even in your face. Just notice what's alive. And as you move through the day, As you have different experiences, Things will start to pop up and move and shift in your body. And the more curious we become, The more we can step out and have a little popcorn with ourselves, The more we get to learn the language of this body, And the better we can react and we can respond to situations. So thank you for watching. My name is Lillian. I'll see you next time.