Free Yourself, Learn To Speak The Truth

In this talk, you will learn to differentiate between different kinds of truths. You will feel the power of words, positive and negative, and learn to choose your words wisely. You will also understand how you affect others, and how speaking the truth makes a big difference in the quality of your connections.

Transcript

You are beautiful,

You are amazing,

You are the way you are supposed to be.

These are merely words,

But listening to them affects your state of mind.

Words have power.

When spoken truthfully and authentically,

Your words will open doors in all areas of life,

Personal and professional.

Now,

If all of that is true,

Then why is it so hard to really be truthful?

Let's find out.

So today we're looking at speaking the truth,

Being authentic and the power of words.

Our goal is to get used to speaking the truth as much as possible to yourself and to others.

We also want to bring awareness to the actual power of words and how they influence your relationships.

Especially interesting here are your words to yourself.

Jodi Picoult said,

Words are like eggs dropped from great heights.

You can no more call them back than ignore the mess they leave when they fall.

Let's become experts at what eggs to drop and where to drop them.

Let us start today by talking about honesty.

You need to accept that all of us,

Including you,

Sometimes lie.

Even if it is the smallest of lies that you tell only to yourself,

None of us are 100% honest.

But I would like to make the claim that it is beneficial for you to be as honest as possible.

Let's discover why the truth is so important.

The biggest reason to speak the truth to others is that once you get caught lying,

The trust between you is broken.

This immediately damages and diminishes the quality of your connection.

In one or more people's eyes,

You are a liar now.

These people will not see you as a person who told a lie,

They will see you as a liar.

And even if it was the smallest of lies,

It is very difficult to come back from that stigma.

Building trust and being able to keep high-quality connections is the very first reason to speak the truth.

Next,

It is very often the case that one lie leads to another lie,

And so on.

Once you are on the path of lying,

It is often the path you decide to stay on.

To avoid this,

Make it a habit to never lie.

If it is truly a habit,

Then it will be very hard for you to speak even the smallest of lies.

When you are then in a situation where you have to lie,

You will be completely aware of the downsides and costs of your life,

And you will not make that choice lightly.

So let's talk about avoiding conflict and protecting yourself and others by lying.

We have to look at the gain and the cost of these lies.

If someone holds a gun to your head,

Then you should probably say whatever you can to get rid of that gun,

Truth or lie.

But there are often lies to avoid conflict that are not as healthy as they might seem.

The most famous example is when your partner asks you for an opinion on their fashion choice.

Here I would highly recommend not avoiding a conflict if there is danger of one.

The cost of the lie is greater than the gain.

Of course,

The immediate effect of making a dishonest compliment is that your partner is joyful,

Happy and secure.

But the long-term cost is that your partner will slowly lose trust in you because subconsciously your partner can feel that you are actually being dishonest.

Your partner will realize this because your words will not match your attitude and actions.

Over some time,

Your partner will energetically disconnect from you.

This type of small lie is not worth the immediate gain.

The long-term costs are way bigger.

Now here I want to mention that I recommend being wise with your timing of speaking your truth.

Just because you feel a certain way or have a certain opinion,

Doesn't mean it is serving the person in front of you to hear your truth at that very moment.

Be sensitive when telling the truth.

Don't avoid it,

Don't not tell your truth,

But make sure you consider it.

It is a fine line not to avoid conflict because of comfort,

But also not to forget to tell the truth.

Be smart in your timing,

In your way of communication.

Now let's get back to the advantages of speaking the truth.

My next point is that people will value your opinion.

They might not like your opinion,

They might even be scared of your opinion,

But they will value your opinion.

If people value your opinion,

You are immediately connected to them in a more meaningful way.

People will establish long-term trust in you and your words.

Next let us talk about authenticity.

Being authentic means that your actions match your words,

Your deeper thoughts and your feelings.

Being authentic nowadays has never been more important and has also never been harder to achieve.

This is because of modern technology and social media,

Where the temptations for not being authentic are humongous.

Let me explain a bit further.

The biggest question you need to ask yourself is,

Are my digital personality and my analog or real personality similar?

That is not to say you have to share your deepest and darkest feelings and experiences with everyone online,

But I would highly recommend portraying your digital persona as authentically as possible.

A big reason for that is that people often experience your digital persona first and then you will have to live up to that portrayed self-image.

If people see your life as flawless,

Only filled with ecstatic joy and beauty,

Then it will be extremely hard for you to be authentic in real life.

Trying to then live up to your advanced digital persona will cause you to develop a personality disorder as you start being inauthentic.

It is important to build realistic expectations from your online persona that serve you,

That you can easily live up to.

Now another reason I would highly recommend being as authentic as possible is the chance to grow.

If you pretend to already be the person you aspire to be,

You will have no motivation to actually try and become that person.

Being inauthentic makes you hold back from working on yourself.

Authenticity,

On the other hand,

Will allow you to show and accept your complete self.

You will become aware of all the areas you still need or want to work on.

Thus,

Portraying yourself in an authentic or non-idealized version allows you to grow to be the version that you would like to be.

Now another great side effect of allowing yourself to show your imperfections or in other words,

Allowing yourself to be vulnerable,

Is that it invites others to be vulnerable around you too.

This means your authenticity then allows others to connect with you on a more meaningful level because other people show sides of their personality that they are usually hesitant to show.

Next,

I want to mention that when being authentic,

People will either accept you for who you really are or stay away from you.

And the earlier either one of those happens,

The better.

So many divorces happen because it takes people 5 years to show their true self.

Show your true self immediately and you will not waste time with the wrong people.

You will attract the right people who will want to stay in your life for a very long time.

So how do you achieve being authentic?

The first step is to accept that you have been,

At least harshly,

Molded into the person that you are today by outside influences.

And to this day,

Your family,

Surroundings,

Society and culture ongoingly influence your belief system and how you portray yourself.

This might be a great start in navigating life,

But it is not your completely authentic personality.

So in order to be authentic,

You have to regularly reflect and challenge your belief system and your identity.

For example,

Right now this course challenges you and thus allows you to become more authentic.

Now let us talk about the power of words.

Earlier I talked about choosing your moments as to when and what to say to people.

Now I want to recommend choosing your words wisely.

I highly recommend that because words are powerful.

They can hurt people or make them feel loved.

Words can start wars or end them.

Words can strongly connect you to people or disconnect you from them forever.

Words can motivate you and give you the confidence to create your dream life.

Words can crush your spirits.

Words are powerful.

Consciously choose which ones to listen to and even more so,

Consciously choose which ones to speak.

Lastly,

I want to mention self-talk.

The voice that you use to speak to yourself is the most powerful of all the voices you can listen to.

Your inner voice is also the voice you hear the most.

So make sure your self-talk is positive.

Of course be realistic and critical at times,

But overall have a positive choice of words.

I understand that this can only be controlled partially as thoughts and self-talk come mainly out of the subconscious.

But you will be surprised how much you can consciously influence the way you talk to yourself.

And changing your self-talk can lift your mood and strengthen your self-esteem.