Don't Be Fooled: Challenge Opinions

Yes, trust the people around you, especially the ones very close to you, but always challenge opinions. If you do so you will find value in challenging beliefs. You will come to understand different types of listening and learn how the media affects you.

Transcript

Are you listening?

Are you this very moment giving me your complete attention?

Are you absorbing my words?

Listening is so much more than merely hearing words.

It's a lost art form.

To truly be absorbed by another person and to see them for their unique individuality is important because only then can you challenge your and their beliefs and grow as a person.

Now listen to what I have to say and then please challenge my words and belief systems.

So today we are talking about listening and the individuality in your personality.

We will try to become conscious of how you are forming and adjusting opinions.

Our first goal is to become aware of different ways of listening and to understand the effect of high quality listening.

We also want to bring more awareness to how you are adjusting your opinions and how you can accept your unique individual personality in a world that wants to make you the same as everyone else.

Let's start with truly understanding the word listening.

We all know people who,

When listening,

Actually just wait for their turn to talk.

They usually form their opinions and ideas in their head while you talk.

They see other people's words only as a jumping board for their own stories.

They are not really listening.

Listening is not just being quiet while another person talks.

That's merely hearing.

Listening is observing the smallest change of tone,

An eyebrow being raised,

A pause in speaking that is one second too long.

True listening means you are extremely attentive.

Listening is active,

Not passive.

It is absorbing,

Digesting,

Understanding and trying to bring meaning to someone's words.

Next,

I want to mention that true listening is non-reactive.

It requires you to wait until your partner is finished and then give a reaction.

Here I want to mention that of course eye contact,

Gestures and asking questions are small reactions,

But they are designed to further investigate your partner's point.

They are called support responses.

If you bring the attention and point of view back to you,

It is called a shift response.

Be careful to shift response too early because it often belittles your partner.

Even when you are an absolute master or expert at a topic,

Don't shift response too early.

The benefit of using support responses first is a deeper connection.

And the deeper you connect with people,

The more you develop and mature.

To finish up my ideas around listening,

I want to mention that for real listening to manifest,

You need to see another person for who they truly are.

And who they truly are is a different person from you.

Their past,

Their circumstances,

Their opinions,

Their actions are different from yours.

And whatever they say makes sense to them.

So open your mind to understand their individual,

Unique point of view.

This brings me to our next topic of today.

Your unique individual personality.

You are unique,

You have a unique body,

You have a unique mind,

You have unique thoughts and you have unique needs and wants.

This means that your personality must be unique as well.

You might also start to understand that in order to be happy,

Your work,

Your home,

Your surroundings,

Your food,

Your hobbies all have to be unique as well.

Or at the very least,

It must be your unique combination.

Raise your awareness that you are not meant to fit a certain template.

Give yourself permission to be your unique self and to accept other people's uniqueness.

Now,

Creating a lifestyle that caters for your unique personality is not solely my crazy idea.

Ancient practices like Ayurvedic medicine started understanding individual needs thousands of years ago.

Ayurveda does not only look at symptomatic imbalance,

It also looks at the individual person's overall constitution.

Understanding your constitution or uniqueness is what allows you then to adjust your lifestyle.

And if these changes are done according to your unique needs,

Then you will live a balanced,

Happy and healthy life.

So allow yourself,

Your needs and your lifestyle to be different from others.

And never ever feel weird about that.

Next,

I want to talk about your unique opinions.

I want to talk about opinions because our society is becoming more extreme and divided,

And both these qualities are unhealthy.

But opinions as such are not unhealthy,

Quite the opposite.

Your personal opinions allow you to express your unique ideas.

Here we should differentiate between being disrespectful and merely sharing your viewpoints.

The latter one,

Sharing your viewpoints,

Is very important.

Now let's have a more detailed look at opinions.

In order to be happy,

You need to be able to express your unique personality.

Here we need to understand that your unique opinions do not fit into boxes.

Society often wants to label you into groups and boxes.

For example,

Agreeing with a left-wing politician on one specific topic will make you a communist for a lot of people.

Whilst agreeing with a right-wing politician on another singular topic will make you a racist for others.

Be careful not to allow anyone to put you into boxes and also be careful not to put yourself or others in these boxes.

Now I would like to argue that you share at least one opinion with every human on this planet.

With the people you love and also with the people you dislike.

You don't think so?

How many people believe breathing air is important?

How many people believe drinking water is healthy?

How many people believe fresh food is healthy?

Just because you disagree on a lot of things with others does not mean you don't agree with them on even more other topics.

So I would like to invite you to disagree or agree with anyone on this planet without feeling the need for permission from a certain group.

Also,

Give yourself permission to neither love nor hate a person because of them belonging to a labelled group.

Even when people belong to groups,

They are still individual thinking human beings underneath it all.

When you see and accept their uniqueness,

Then you create space to see beauty in all others and also yourself.

It might not make your life easier at first,

But it will make your life happier in the long run.

Next,

I told you to be cautious of belonging to groups,

But now I also want to mention that it is of course necessary and important to belong to groups.

Groups are fundamentally important for your life because you belong to a species in need of belonging and company.

Groups can be chosen consciously or subconsciously.

They can be influenced by birth,

Language,

Culture and so on,

But most often they are chosen by opinions.

The groups you spend the most time with usually share similar opinions and values to you.

Your type of groups can be very different.

They can originate in the fields of political identity,

Love for sports,

Love for food and so on.

By the way,

The more different types of groups you belong to,

The better.

And of course,

Never let a group you belong to diminish your individuality or opinions,

But do accept their importance and the role they play in your life.

It is a fine line,

But to a certain degree,

It is worth it to adjust your expression of your individuality in order to fit into groups.

Let me say this again.

You making small adjustments to the expression of your opinions is worth it in order to belong to a group.

But there are limits.

You have fundamental ethics and values,

And sticking to them is a good idea no matter what.

For example,

If someone were to make a racist comment in my sports group,

I would never adjust my expression,

No matter the consequences.

I would tell that person my unfiltered thoughts immediately.

But if someone shares their opinions on something meaningless and I happen to disagree,

I might not feel it is important enough to scratch the group's harmony.

Here it is important to know the fundamental values and ethics that you identify strongly with.

Because these you should never shut your mouth about.

And knowing these values also allows you to not get involved when you don't need to.

So,

Adjusting your expression of opinions ever so slightly to make group experience harmonious is valuable,

But only to a certain level.

Now remember,

You are unique.

There is no group in this world where all members have the same opinions as you.

And on the other hand,

Members from groups that you are not part of,

And that you are maybe even averse to,

Also have plenty in common with you.

So,

Know yourself,

But carry yourself with an open mind and an open heart.

Now we have arrived at the practical part of today.

First of all,

I would like to invite you to write down five groups you are in.

These could be any type of groups,

Family,

Social,

Religious,

Clubs,

Work,

Sports,

And so on.

Then write down what opinions you have in common with most of the members from each group.

And what opinions of yours are different from most group members.

Pause the course now and write down your observations.

Now I would like you to write down five groups you are clearly not part of.

Again,

That can be any type of group.

Write down five groups that you are consciously not part of.

Then again,

Write down your opinions that are different,

And opinions that might be similar to most of the members in each group.

Again,

Pause the course now and come back when you have done this second part.

I hope that today you have gained some awareness of how unique you are,

But also realized how connected you are to people in all sorts of groups.

Now,

During the next few days or during this week,

I would like to invite you to practice listening.

Practice it as if it is a foreign art form.

At least once per day,

Practice conscious,

Active listening.

Also observe what happens with you and the other person when you are actively listening.