So grieving doesn't always feel good,
But it does reveal what we care about.
And if you're going through grieving or you have gone through grieving.
You've been through the stages or some of them.
They don't always come in order,
But at some point you feel shocked.
Maybe some denial.
You might negotiate with life,
Get angry,
Get sad,
Confused,
Despondent.
Surrender.
And then you loop back to feeling shock.
And it could feel like you're going through a washing machine.
Of grief,
Just like another round,
Another cycle.
And this does happen,
But in my experience,
There is no well that is infinitely deep.
So there's a certain amount of grip.
And if you don't suppress it,
If you give it space to move,
It will come out.
Layer by layer almost always takes longer than we expect or think it will.
Because as humans we attach to each other.
So if you've lost a person or a pet.
Or you've gone through a breakup with a partner.
Or your kids have gone away to school.
Or you've ended a job or some other kind of cycle.
And something has shifted in your life then.
There very well may be grief.
You might not even know what it is.
You might just be feeling it and that's also okay.
So right now I want to create some space and give you permission.
To just feel that energy.
Arise out of the chest and it might kind of spread through your system.
Just notice for yourself,
Is there a heaviness?
Is there a sadness?
Is there a stuckness mixed in with some confusion?
Some melancholy.
So I'm like,
Why even take another step?
Some regret.
We can feel grief in so many different ways.
It might even come with some anger.
The one thing I would like you to explore right now with me is not.
Trying to figure it out.
Or heal it or fix it.
But just allow it to move.
He might even give me like a hug.
Kind of surrendering.
Into the feeling.
When we feel our feelings with awareness,
There's a different quality than when we just go unconscious into them and really lose ourselves.
So be mindful.
And just let the grief just move.
Grief comes out of our eyes.
Through water.
The tears might express the physical grief.
Whatever needs to happen,
Just let it process,
Let it move.
Even if it feels like you're only at 1% or 5% of being in touch with it.
It could also.
You know,
As it arises,
It might start to feel like you're overwhelmed,
Like before a dam breaks.
You might have to let go of some control for it to move.
And life can be sad,
Losing someone,
Something ending,
Feeling that emptiness.
It's intense.
This is part of the human experience.
This is Probably dope.
The biggest part of the Buddha's journey was going,
Why do we suffer?
Noticing that everything changes.
That everything is impermanent and then.
Trying to move through that as a human being.
That was his entire teaching.
Perhaps life is here.
In this grief,
Showing you something,
Teaching you something.
Helping you become aware of something.
For me often when When I get through some layers of grief,
Then I might even reach a place of appreciation.
Because grief shows us what we care about.
If you didn't care,
You wouldn't grieve.
We can have appreciation for a person,
For an event,
For a relationship.
An animal.
A home.
A time in our lives,
Whatever it is,
Whatever it was.
And then we feel that mix of.
Sadness and appreciation.
That is part of what makes us human.
Our ability to extend into the past and the future.
It gives us amazing capabilities and it can bring us great.
Grief.
Notice right now it's me,
If you can let go of any judgment of that.
Of where you are or how long you've been grieving.
Everyone always complains to me that their healing is taking longer than they expected,
And that's usually true.
So in grieving,
We're feeling.
In grieving,
We're healing.
In grieving,
We're appreciating.
And in grieving at a certain point.
Or also taking a step and even moving on.
But it's hard to move on if we don't feel the grief and the sadness and the pain.
It'll just constantly pull us back.
Now you can move on before you process all of it.
It'll happen naturally.
But you can't move on if you haven't processed.
A good chunk of it.
So whatever pain or sadness wants to flush out right now,
Just be expressed and be felt.
To feel is to heal.
Allow yourself to have that.
As hard,
As heavy as this might be.
Might give me another dislike.
UGH!
Yuck.
And in this experience,
You might realize that you or I or nobody else controls life.
Life has its own current,
Its own rhythm,
Its own path and purpose.
There's a mystery to it,
Why people die,
Why things end and change.
Sometimes we get an answer,
Sometimes we don't.
And we continue.
And we continue with each other.
Take one more big,
Deep breath in.
Sigh it out.
And just appreciate your grief,
Whatever stage you're in.
With patience,
There's no rush.
You can't force it.
You can't negotiate with it.
You can't control it.
Grief is one of those things that's just not in our control.
Just allowing that pain to move when it moves and to teach us.
Whatever it needs to teach us.
I know this is a heavier one today.
You're like,
Thanks,
David.
I feel heavier than earlier.
But it's important that we all face our grief and sit with it and work with it.
Layer by layer.
Great job.
I appreciate you being here,
Sitting with me.
Keep working on it.
You've got this.
Feel healed.
And then take a step.
All right,
I'll see you soon.
