A Letter To My Younger Self: Releasing Parental Guilt

In this deeply personal reflection, Violet shares a letter she wrote to her younger self—offering compassion, forgiveness, and tenderness for choices made in impossible circumstances.

Many parents carry quiet guilt about past decisions—divorce, distance, custody arrangements, or simply doing the best they could with limited support. This track invites you to soften toward your own story, release self-blame, and remember that love can exist across time, distance, and imperfection.

This is a space for honesty, self-forgiveness, and remembering that you were always doing the best you could.

You’re invited to listen with an open heart—and, if it resonates, to write your own letter to your younger self.

Background music by my friend and fellow Insight Timer teacher, Blossom Violet: Dance of Inner Peace. Please follow her for more of her beautiful music and live events.

You’re also warmly invited to join our Insight Timer group, "Ask Your Guides" — grounded, guided, and always growing.

Transcript

This is a letter I wrote to my younger self.

There are many stories we carry quietly,

Stories we rarely share,

Especially as spiritual teachers,

Parents,

Or community leaders who encourage gentleness and self-compassion in others.

For many years,

I carried a heavy story about my sons.

I divorced their father,

They moved to another state,

I became what people sometimes call the weekend mom.

I told myself it was the best decision at the time,

But in quiet moments,

I wondered if I had failed them.

I carried that for decades.

But recently something shifted.

I realized I'd been holding my younger self to an impossible standard,

Judging her with hindsight,

Resources,

And wisdom she simply didn't have.

So I wrote her a letter.

And support you had at the time.

You didn't choose an easy path.

You chose the path you thought would protect your boys and give everyone a chance at stability.

That was an act of love,

Not abandonment.

You couldn't see the future.

You couldn't control who their father would become.

You couldn't know how things would unfold.

You made the best choice you could with the tools,

Strength,

And clarity you had in that moment.

That is all anyone can ever do.

Your boys are okay.

They've grown up to be amazing men.

They love you.

They trust you.

They reach for you in those hard moments.

That is the measure of motherhood.

Not proximity.

Not perfection.

Not staying married.

Not staying in one place.

You did not fail them.

You did not ruin their childhood.

You did not break your family.

You stayed.

You loved.

You kept showing up,

Even when your heart was heavy.

You carried guilt that wasn't yours to carry.

You punished yourself for circumstances you could not control.

You grieved a story that did not have to define you.

It's time to let that go.

You are allowed to release this pain.

You are allowed to forgive yourself.

You are allowed to be proud of the mother you were and the mother you are.

You don't have to carry this anymore.

With so much love,

Violet.

Friends,

If this resonates with you,

I invite you to write your own letter to your younger self.

You might be surprised by how much compassion rises when you let yourself see your past through kinder eyes.

And if you're someone who teaches gentleness,

But struggles to offer it inward,

Know this,

You are not alone.

Sometimes the deepest teachings are the ones we are still learning to give ourselves.

Sending you so much love,

Violet.

Reviews

If I could give this 10 stars, I would! I have listened to this track multiple times and now know what I want to say about it: it’s filled with such bravery, compassion and healing love and I think it’s the perfect expression. I can empathize with it too 💓 Thanks for making this Violet 🙏🏻✨🏆

Thank you so much for sharing this deeply personal letter to your younger self. It whole heartedly resonated with me. I didn’t realize that I myself need to follow in writing to my younger self as a mother. I too was in a very similar situation and went through a divorce with 3 young children and had to move 10 hours away. I died inside and carried that pain and buried it to survive and continue with a new role of being their long distance mother. We got through it and remained very close. Life has a way of overcoming obstacles. This meant so much more to me than you know! So much love to you!! 🙏✨❤️

So beautiful, Violet! Thank you for putting words and compassion to an experience so many of us have had. My heart expanded listening to your vulnerable message. Thank you. 💜💜💜💜

Thank you for your vulnerability in sharing this, it made me cry as I felt the weight of your judgement of yourself and also some of the weight of gender-based judgement, I’m guessing not only from outside but from within. I’m so happy you could offer this hand of acceptance to your younger self, I will have a think about whether I can do the same for myself. Grateful for you and all you do here Violet 💜🤗

Beautifully said violet. I’ve never felt a good turn to my parents and I think what you said about if your children can turn you in times of trouble that’s the most important thing and I agree totally. X

Thank you for sharing such a tender part of your journey with us. It was so interesting to receive a notification about this post when I'm working through the Year of Journaling now and am on Week 15. That was the Divine Dragon quest - and you shared you responded to the question about "areas of shame and guilt and smallness..." I was puzzled by that since I just witnessed you coordinate a recent episode of Ask Your Guides with 30 teachers and the powerful presentation by Dakota on Peace. I'm thinking, WOW! LOOK AT VIOLET!!! Look what she's accomplished!! You are so amazing! I'm glad you can see that more clearly now and are able to release that old story and celebrate who you really are! I'm so grateful for your authenticity and making me as a newcomer to the Insight Timer community not feel alone in the shallow end of the kiddy pool as I figure out how to use the App. I love how you help me realize and see potential and then the small steps to get there. You really shine bright like a diamond! 💜🙏💜

My eyes are leaking after this courageous and intimate letter that you shared. May I be the caring gentle presence with myself that you’ve shown to us 💜🕊💜

Oh my goodness Violet 😭I had a similar experience myself. I left my son with his father at age 9. Divorced my husband and left them both for 6 months. It was extremely difficult and I think I cried every night until I went back to Wyoming, took physical custody of my son when he was 10 and moved back to the East Coast.
He’s 36 now and a wonderful man who understands why I did what I did. He doesn’t have any regrets about it, I felt like I had abandoned him, but in the end it was the best thing I ever did for him and myself.
Thank you so much for sharing this story. It makes me feel better knowing that as mothers we always do our best to love our children no matter what happens and that we did what we thought was right at the time.
Much love ❤️ 🤗

Beautiful, vulnerable, courageous. Thank you for creating this and for sharing it. 💖

This was so beautiful Violet and thank you for sharing you wisdom and healing journey so we can all be guided to create the space in our souls as well. My friend is hosting a fireside session next week to to honor what no longer serves - I’m going to write this letter as you beautifully suggested and bring it there to burn 🥹💕

This is such s beautiful example of self-compassion and vulnerability ❤️ Thank you for sharing this with us. I’m inspired by your strength and tenderness 🤗

Tears … Violet, beautiful soul, thank you for sharing your letter. This brought up so much inside of me. What a great idea to write a letter to my younger self 🙏💝🪷

Thanks Violet, for sharing something so powerful. I have no doubt you are a wonderful mother, sometimes kids just have to find their way back to. you. Love, Patri

This had me in tears. So powerful.
Learning to love and be kind to ourselves is a big lesson 💖

I loved this! So powerful and it has inspired me to write my own letter. Thank you 🙏

Violet, This is so incredibly beautiful. I am grateful for you as a teacher and a friend. This is something everyone needs to hear because everyone has those moments of doubt for something they've done in their past. I hope that everyone gets to hear your beautiful words of wisdom, permission, acceptance and compassion.