Pet Loss: Love And Healing

When my beloved pups passed away, I found solace in meditation and talks on Insight Timer. To share that comfort with others experiencing pet loss, I created a special playlist (under my teacher's profile). One practice that resonated deeply was writing a letter to my pets, inspired by a fellow teacher, Traci Moreno.

I thought this was a beautiful idea and it helped me so much that I wanted to share that with you in this track.

I hope this practice brings you the same comfort it brought me, and the courage to write your own letter. Whether you keep it private in your journal, share it with a loved one, or even feel called to share it with me, the act of expressing your feelings can be a powerful part of healing.

Background Music: "A Touch of This"

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Transcript

Hello and welcome beautiful Insight Timer community.

Today I thought I would talk about something that is not my usual topic.

I know we all love our crystals and our cards and of course journaling and this does have to do with journaling actually so I guess I'm not too far off topic but recently I noticed a lot of people losing pets and a lot of grief around that topic and as most of you know I lost two of my pups within eight months of each other and that was a hard time and I had the support of this beautiful community that helped me get through it.

I think it was Tracy Moreno another teacher on Insight Timer who has a track that is absolutely beautiful.

A lot of her work surrounding grief is beautiful and I highly recommend it but there was a track specific to pet loss and how she grieved through the process and how much writing a letter can help and I thought that's a fabulous idea.

Mine crossed over well one was almost a year ago and the other one a couple of months ago and I have been thinking about doing that since the first one crossed over which is when I first heard Tracy's material on grief but I think up until now I just couldn't bring myself to do it.

Every time I sat down to write I would cry and crying is a good thing that's another thing that I want to say.

I used to be the type of person who hid my sadness from other people and those of you who've seen me live on Insight Timer know that I go on there now and if I'm sad and I need to cry I will cry and I've said it a couple of times that nothing has helped me grow and heal more than finally accepting that it's okay to cry.

I don't know why so many of us have grown up thinking we need to hide that I'm sure it was probably from our upbringing and I went many years of hiding my emotions and stuffing them down and I would say probably over the past year or so I have started to embrace that when I'm sad I'm allowed to be sad and I will feel it and if someone else can't handle it it's okay.

It comes out of my heart and I grieve or I'm sad or I cry and then I'm doing all right.

So I was thinking today today's the day I started writing my letter rewriting my letter I read it a few times I cried a few times and then I thought okay I'm ready I'm gonna create this track because as much as people helped me through my grief I want to be able to do that for someone else.

So I sat down and I wrote this letter and I'm going to read it and I will do my best to get through it.

I'm feeling strong but you know sometimes we feel strong and we cry and that's okay too.

My sweet boys seems hard to believe that it's been almost a year since Barney sat at my feet and a couple of months since I held Simon on my lap while he took his last breath.

I think about that day when I first saw your picture in an email two brothers from the same litter almost five years old who needed a home together.

I was only looking for one dog but it was love at first sight I knew I had to adopt you both.

So we went to see you and a few days later we brought you home we just moved into the house I couldn't wait to adopt a pup and now I had two I was so ready or so I thought.

It took some getting used to there were gates everywhere there was constant vacuuming of dog hair and that small learning curve as you both adjusted to a new living situation and some new house training rules but we got through it together.

I still laugh when I think of Barney climbing into my flower pots because he loved that cool soil in the summer or running off quietly with a sock that I dropped like it was a great prize and he had to hide it or Simon laying next to his brother with his furrowed brow and his look of disgust at whatever Barney was doing.

My sigh was always a stoic one and my barn barn always so playful.

Years later when Barney became diabetic it was hard but I became an expert with needles and insulin.

I have to admit the cancer that followed four years later was a lot more challenging and I promised myself I would never let either of you suffer just so I could keep you longer.

So when I saw Barney struggling to walk sometimes barely eating which was always our favorite thing to do or showing signs of pain I knew it was time and then Simon developed dementia which made his anxiety so hard and after eight months of letting Barney go I saw Simon suffering too.

I knew it was time to let him go.

When the vet carried Simon out of the house that night even though I had the puppy and Tim with me I felt like a huge piece of this house was forever gone.

Barney was my shadow,

My late night snacking partner.

His loss hit me so hard.

Simon on the other hand was my quiet grumpy old man but I loved him and he was my last connection to Barney on this earth.

You were my babies.

I loved you so much and I need to change that.

You are my babies and I will always love you.

I find comfort knowing you're together and seeing your pictures next to your ashes and their beautiful little wooden boxes side by side on the special shelf I filled with your mementos hanging over your favorite beds where the puppy now sleeps.

That night before Simon crossed over when that light on Barney's statue which hadn't worked for months suddenly lit up I felt like he was telling me he was waiting for his brother or maybe he was telling me to stop asking if I did the right thing.

The guilt of feeling relief alongside grief is something I've struggled with and something people don't usually talk about but in my heart I know that letting you go peacefully was the hardest yet most loving decision I could have made.

You deserved a life free of fear and pain.

And now I have Onyx.

When I picked him up at the rescue and learned he was born two months prior on my exact birthday I felt like it was fate and for some reason I felt Barney sent him my way.

It seemed like something my funny guy would do.

Simon was not thrilled when I brought home the puppy but the night before he passed he finally warmed up to him.

He laid close to him the way he used to do with Barney.

Simon never liked other dogs but he was always so connected to his brother and seeing him connect to Onyx finally after six months filled me with a bittersweet understanding.

It was like he knew he he was saying goodbye and he was ready.

Onyx would never replace either of them but he carries a piece of that unconditional love with him.

My sweet boys taught me that.

Sometimes at night I sit in the living room watching tv and even though they're no longer here in this physical realm I feel their presence and I'll turn to look at those little statues on my deck and they're both lit up and I feel that glow in my heart because I know that they're both with me always.

Through them I learned the true meaning of one of my favorite quotes,

Until one has loved an animal a part of one's soul remains unawakened.

Thank you for my awakening sweet boys.

Thank you for choosing me,

For the joy you gave me,

The sweet companionship and the gift of Onyx.

Onyx is the total opposite of both of you.

A crazy rambunctious puppy who has a home now thanks to you and everything you taught me.

You are forever with me and forever in my heart.

So that was my letter and friends I would encourage you write a letter like that and just let it all out.

When you lose a pet you've lost a member of your family.

Let it flow,

Grieve,

Cry,

Think of them,

Build a monument to them,

Do whatever you need to do to honor this precious gift.

I created a playlist of all the meditations on Insight Timer related to pet loss and I will be adding this one to that playlist and I noticed that of all the playlists I had that one had the most saves which tells me there's so many of us going through this and feeling this and needing that comfort and I just want you to know that it it's there.

Take advantage of it,

Share that playlist,

Listen to it and feel your pain and don't feel bad if you cry,

Let it out.

Take care my friends and please as always feel free to reach out to me if you ever need to chat I'm always here.

Have a beautiful day.

Reviews

Amazingly my touch lamp lit up by itself as I listened to this track, letting me know my fur babies were together and with me as well. Thank you so much for sharing this deduction!

Oh Violet, how moving and inspiring! I cried the whole time... I have lost 3 of my beloved cats in the past year and a half, grief is still fresh and needs tending to, I will write them a letter, thanks to you 💖

Thank you so much! We just lost one of our cat babies today. Which earlier I didn’t feel bad but now it’s kinda hitting me.. We the pleasure of having “baby the cat” for 17 years!!!!! Yes! So we had soooo much time w/ him. His lazy butt 🤭🤭🤎🤎🤎 No more pain babes!! Love you 🥰

So beautiful. And I love this idea of writing a letter to pets that's have recently crossed over. I will do this for my two cats who were put to rest 18months apart, the most recent one just this month. Thank you for sharing. xx

I lost my Cleo 2023 and my son 2024 and I'm full of grief. Thank u

Thank you for this beautiful sharing and for putting together a playlist. Good to know the list exists, for the days I‘ll need this comfort 🐕🙏

Such a powerful recognition of the pain of pet loss. Very beautifully done & much appreciated. ☘️💜☘️

Violet, Thank you so much for this. My cat unexpectedly died in January and I have been grieving her loss. This helped, a lot. Thank you! I just went back and listened again. So helpful even now.

Thank you for offering this reflection and reading your own letter. It was helpful as I grieve the loss of my dog Toby. 🙏🏼

Nice work, Violet! I can relate to your words and emotions.
Louie, you're forever with me!

This is a truly beautiful & profound gift 💝, Violet. Your letter is written so eloquently from the heart; an inspiration & a blessing for deep healing. Thank you for this talk. 🙏🏻💜💜💜

Hi Violet. This is so beautiful. So touching and moving. Sorry for your losses. Pets are amazing companions!! They are so blessed to have you as their mama💖🌷🙏. Love you twinnie.

Thank you Violet this was so healing! I’ve thought about writing a letter to my sweet Lola who passed in November. Seems like Spirit wants me to do that now. 🙏🏻❤️