Heal The Inner Child

Meditation is understood by most people as a certain technique or method. This is a lovely meditation that will allow you to figure out how to put gratitude into action, increase self-worth & really practice meditation.

Transcript

You making sure that you're relaxed and ready for the transmission.

It's a wonderful day to go a little bit deeper and explore what it means to be connected to a meditative attitude.

It's so misunderstood.

Meditation has become very much part of the what I would call the new age scenario,

And it's so misunderstood because it has been packaged in that way where meditation is either a technique or understood to be something that it's not.

Meditation is the practice of gratitude.

If you are unable to understand gratitude or if it doesn't make sense to you in a practical way,

Not just in a conceptual way what gratitude means,

Then it's very unlikely that you're practicing meditation in the real sense,

In the real sense,

In what I believe to be the real sense.

And gratitude is almost like a muscle.

You know,

If you don't train it,

If you don't sort of use it,

Then it slowly diminishes.

It's still there.

The potential of the muscle may still be there somewhere,

But it's not actual.

The experience is not actual,

So the muscle is not working.

So,

It's very important that gratitude is not just one of those things that we understand and then say,

Oh,

That's very nice and practice for a few days and then gets forgotten because there are so many other interesting things.

Because meditation is consistent.

The practice of meditation is consistent.

And it's very difficult to be consistent if you are sort of jumping from one place to another,

Which is of course what the limbic brain does.

Sort of latches onto whatever is most interesting in the moment rather than create a sort of real orientation from the coherence that is your experience.

The limbic brain is just like,

Oh,

That's interesting.

Oh,

I'm feeling bad.

Oh,

I'm feeling good.

Oh,

I'm this,

I'm that.

It's very self-centered.

This is,

Someone asked me about gratitude.

If gratitude isn't about the self and if I can't understand gratitude from the space of the self,

Then it's very difficult to understand gratitude if you don't experience gratitude or if there is nothing to be grateful for.

Meaning that,

You know,

If one's perception of the world is negative,

It's very difficult to receive the positive.

And if gratitude isn't self-centered,

Meaning that,

You know,

Even that which is within you cannot be part of the gratitude or is not really the essential quality of gratitude,

Then where does one start?

So this person was very,

Very lost.

And I explained just what I'm explaining to you now,

That gratitude is like a muscle,

Needs to be strengthened.

So we cannot understand the power or the strength of gratitude without practice.

So before,

And this was always the case in all sort of meditational practices,

Before asking questions,

Before,

You know,

Making a whole big thing about what gratitude means or trying to understand what gratitude means,

The first thing is to practice and practice and practice gratitude so that that muscle,

That strength,

That inner power can be realized as an essential quality that is there and tangible on some level.

So to practice the muscle,

I was explaining to this person and I am sort of sharing this with you because perhaps it's relevant for you or to,

It may be relevant for people around you,

It may be relevant on some level for everyone.

The first thing is moving out of a self-centered space.

So gratitude and the sort of practice of gratitude means that you have to move out of being self-centered.

If you're unable to do that,

Then it's impossible really to change and move into a deeper space of meditation because self-centered means that your consciousness,

Your awareness is caught by the negatives that the limbic brain creates and the limbic brain cannot be in meditation because the limbic brain is part of the reactive state of the mind.

So the two just don't go hand in hand.

So the first step is always to remove oneself from being caught in a self- centered sort of scenario.

Whatever that self-centered sort of scenario is,

Everyone has different sort of games that they play with the world or games that they enjoy,

Sort of spending energy and time doing in their lives.

Now,

It's not a correct criticism,

It's just how it is.

You know,

Some people like to feel sorry for themselves.

Some people like to feel,

Be caught by a space of fear.

Some people like to judge others.

Some people like to be upset about the world or about themselves or put themselves down or put the world down or there's so many interesting self-centered scenarios and there is no need to sort of explain them because you know,

You know when you're in a self-centered state,

You're not happy.

If you're not happy,

You are self-centered basically.

So what is important in this practice of removing yourself or detaching yourself from the space where what I call being unaware of the gratitude that is within you,

Within your heart,

What is important is to move away from being self-centered.

So this means that you have to do something because if you're self-centered,

If you're reactive,

You're reactive.

You know,

If you're upset,

You're upset.

You can't sort of turn the switch off and say to yourself,

Okay,

I don't like this experience.

I can't sort of meditate.

I can't feel gratitude.

I can't feel happy because I'm in this state.

I just want to press the button and turn it off.

That's impossible.

For most people,

It's impossible.

It's possible with a lot of practice,

But for most people,

It's impossible.

So if we know this,

What can be done to help us detach from the situation and I was explaining that what is important and the Dalai Lama and all mystics have spoken about this.

It's coming back to your heart.

Now,

What does this mean?

Because for many people that upsets them even more when they're already in a negative space,

Already caught in their little egoic game that,

You know,

The poor me or the world doesn't understand or whatever game that's being played,

It doesn't help.

So what is possible to do when caught in such a situation?

Well,

Coming back to the heart means that you're strengthening that muscle of gratitude because gratitude lives within the space of the heart.

It doesn't live in the mind.

So it's not something that you have to sort of add to the many other things that you're worried about or that you feel pressured to do,

Or that is just another demand.

Okay,

Now I have to feel more gratitude because it's very different.

It's more to do with coming back to your heart means you are actually allowing yourself to extend the energy,

Your focus,

Your awareness,

So that you can recognize things outside of yourself.

Because that's what it means to be free of the self-centered energy that pulls you within that limbic brain reactive space within yourself.

And that means extending your awareness to the outside,

So-called outside,

You know,

The outside that is outside of your self-centered perspective.

So this means becoming aware of,

For example,

Your benevolence for other people,

Instead of trying to sort out the problem that you imagine or believe yourself to be in.

Now that's very difficult because the limbic brain wants instant satisfaction,

Wants to resolve things now and reacts now to try to resolve them.

And,

You know,

The little inner child comes up to the surface and says,

I want this now and plays the game.

You know,

Even if you're 50 years old,

You know,

The inner child can be in control as we know,

The inner child that sort of self-centered aspect that hasn't been able to mature and grow,

Isn't supported by focusing more on that aspect of yourself.

It's only supported,

The inner child is only supported to grow by allowing yourself to move beyond that self-centered situation that's creating the reaction in the limbic brain.

So connecting to the benevolence that you can focus on that has to do with other people or other situation,

All living creatures,

Nature even,

Just the universe around you,

The stars,

The beautiful planets,

Feeling connected to the external that is outside of the self-centered perspective that the mind is caught within is something that you have to put into practice.

That is what it means to flex that gratitude muscle.

If you don't put that into practice,

Even if your mind is saying,

No,

No,

This is not going to resolve my problem.

I am self-centered and I want my problem resolved now,

Even if that sort of energy is what is driving you in that moment,

If you continue holding on and not,

Even if there is nothing that you can see that will support this gratitude muscle,

Put it into practice.

I say even imagine,

Just be kind to others.

It's very challenging,

Isn't it,

When you're upset to be kind to others,

You know,

Like the Dalai Lama said,

You know,

When the Chinese were sort of invading Tibet and killing everyone and treating them horribly,

According to his sort of description of the situation,

It's very difficult to sort of sit there and treat people with kindness,

You know,

You react,

That's the natural inclination of human beings.

And you can justify your actions or your immaturity on the Chinese,

You know,

According to the Dalai Lama's and he could justify the experience and say,

I'm upset with these horrible people and I'll be self-centered.

I won't feel gratitude at all because there is nothing in this situation to be grateful for.

Well,

That's a self-centered perspective because you are seeing things from a perspective,

Even though it may be right on some level.

I'm just here bringing the most extreme of situations to show you that even in those most extreme of situations,

Kindness is what you can't forget.

Kindness,

Cherishing the kindness that you display to others means that you are allowing yourself to mature and move into a space of wisdom.

And the space of wisdom is where gratitude lives because then you can begin to see things.

Wisdom means that you're not centered on the little thing that's happening inside of you.

Your focus is centered in the space that goes far beyond yourself.

It's a selfless kind of act to be able to focus and cherish the kindness of the situation,

Even if the situation looks like it's treating you in such a negative way to extend your gratitude,

Even if just a little.

The Dalai Lama said something very interesting.

He said,

You know,

Sometimes it's very difficult to do this,

But one easy way,

And this is a meditation that you may wish to put into practice,

Is to imagine the person who you're feeling negative towards or the situation that you're feeling negative towards or whatever is that stimulating your limbic brain to react in that sort of self-centered way.

Just imagining a different scenario.

So,

What the Dalai Lama did when the Chinese were treating all these beautiful monks in a terrible way was to imagine that that person was another monk,

And not even just another monk,

But a cute little baby monk,

You know,

Because in Tibet it's custom to put very little children,

Some special little children like the Dalai Lama,

You know,

When they know that they're a reincarnation of wisdom,

To put them into the monastery and look after them,

After the little child in the monastery,

Cute little child in the monastery from a very early age.

It's very different than,

You know,

The usual thing,

Which is,

You know,

You retire into the monastery.

So after you've lived your life,

You go into the monastery.

There are little children,

They're so cute.

I don't know if you've seen these little monks and Tibetans just have such a big wonderful smile,

You know,

And you can imagine that in front of you.

Imagine that in front of you rather than focusing because the limbic brain will want to know,

I want my angry picture back.

I want that horrible scenario back.

I want to focus on that horrible scenario.

Don't let me lose focus.

I want to focus on that horrible scenario.

Now,

If you just imagine,

And let that go,

That horrible scenario,

Whatever scenario your limbic brain is focused upon,

Let that go and just say,

Okay,

That cute little Tibetan monk or whatever,

Cute situation where your heart opens and is able to flex that gratitude muscle.

Your heart muscle is the gratitude muscle,

Of course,

And flex it in such a way where you can begin to support it by putting the energy,

Life energy into this space.

And by doing this,

You,

If you do this,

You have to decrease the anxiety of the situation.

Your self-centeredness will change,

Even if just on a very sort of subtle level,

It will change,

But it will transform the anxieties that are create a part of the creation of this situation,

Part of why the limbic brain is set into motion,

Because there is this fear or fight and flight situation,

You know,

There is this situation that brings anxiety and stress up to the surface.

The more anxiety,

The more stressed,

The more likely you're going to use your limbic brain rather than your neocortex.

And guess what,

In the Western world,

Most people are using their limbic brain,

You know,

Perhaps not in practical situations,

But in the way that they think and the way that they feel the limbic brain has a major,

Major role in the paradigm of Western society.

Anyway,

That's another thing.

So to change that paradigm,

To change that belief system,

That's so very easy to fall into and so very easy to fall into when you justify why you're falling into that situation and being self-centered.

Yes,

Of course I have to be self-centered.

Can't you see,

The little child says,

Can't you see how hurt I am?

Can't you see how terrible the situation is?

Can't you see why I need to react without kindness,

Without gratitude.

Now,

If you imagine instead of that little picture that your energy is being drained by the little Buddha of a child,

You know,

In the monastery or just perhaps your mom,

If you have love for your mom or your child or even your dog,

You know,

Even pets sometimes work better.

Can you imagine you're a little beautiful pet and I always remember this,

The cute,

I had a dog once and it's so cute,

So cute.

I called it my little bear,

You know,

Because it looked like a teddy bear when it was,

It was very young when I got it and just looked like a bear,

Big paws,

Like all these beautiful golden curls and happy face.

You can imagine this sort of situation.

So then it's very difficult to hold on to the anxieties and what happens,

And this is beyond your control,

It's just the physiology of the situation and the psychology of the situation,

What happens is that you begin to increase your feelings of worth.

So the deficit mode that leads us to think how incomplete life is or how bad life is or how negative life is doesn't have the same sort of strength to create the reaction within the limbic brain or create this sort of deficit I am missing out on because no one,

And you know,

You can fill in the gaps,

This sort of idea that you're separate,

Which has nothing to do with the reality of gratitude,

It has only something to do with the situation that the limbic brain is perceiving and recreating within itself,

It's called the habit and that habitual way of thinking creates this justification as to why you need to fall into that sort of emotional deficit space.

So rather than suppress or push anything away,

Gratitude actually simply allows for positive emotions after a while,

Positive emotions such as joy,

Contentment,

Hope to come up to the surface,

Even if they are deep within the subconscious,

Coming up to the surface simply means that they change the physiology of your body.

So you notice,

You begin to notice before you even feel happy or joyful or anything positive in this way,

You begin to notice the physical benefits that are being sort of being addressed,

The physical benefits such as your immune system becomes more powerful because of the physiology change where you're moving away from the self-centered situation where stress and anxiety are being slowly let go off because you're focusing on this cute little puppy like I was speaking about or the beautiful little Buddha,

It's very difficult to sort of be stressed when you imagine this beautiful little puppy holding this little beautiful puppy,

Stroke,

Stroke or you know just whatever,

It's very difficult to hold on to stress at the same time if if your experience is a positive one or your remembrance is a positive one,

It is more likely that you begin to flex that muscle in the heart and you feel grateful,

You feel that the uncertainties or the ambiguous situation that is triggering the anxiety becomes less part of your focus and less part of your feelings and all of a sudden the meditational aspect of gratitude,

This imaginary connection meaning that you're connecting to a deeper state of consciousness begins to show in a very perceivable way the advantages of letting go of that little inner child who's throwing the tantrum or throwing the I can't feel,

I can't feel anything positive about the world scenario or whatever habit that has been indoctrinated into the mind as is very much in part of the indoctrination that is the Western world,

This paradigm is part of Western belief system,

The world is fearful,

This is why we treat it in such a bad way you know the world is full of fear so we have to just make sure that we don't even look at our medicine today and look at our look at the armies and politicians of today you know they're all reacting from a state of fear not from gratitude so this paradigm is just sort of without words understood to be the reality of the situation so this is what increases anxiety and happiness but we are addicted to it,

We are addicted to thinking and feeling in this way so when we are challenging ourselves to change by flexing this gratitude muscle then we find ourselves wanting to fall back and wanting to get caught by the self-centered perspective that the inner child says but but but have you heard the word but that's you know I don't want this now you know that instant sort of satisfaction mode isn't satisfied by the subtle gratitude or the subtle changes in the physiology of your body it somehow wants to suppress them and suppress the positive emotions that come with it so you're battling see the gratitude then turns into a battle Dalai Lama spoke about this also it's very difficult because you know some part of you is attached to the reality that the mind perceives which you believe to be the reality you know dualism the physical world the material world is reality so you know we see things in certain ways why because that's how the mind sees them but we believe that to be real anyway so you know when that part of ourselves begins to question the validity of okay am I really doing anything but imagining a situation what is this imagining a cute little Buddha or cute little puppy you know that has nothing to do with the real situation I want to fall back into unhappiness I want to get caught in my anxiety and my stress again the world is not good you know as soon as that