No One Needs To Prove Themselves

From a very young age, we subconsciously take on an energy of having to prove ourselves and it is an underlying motive for so many of our choices and behaviors. The only one who ultimately has to approve of us is ourselves. What if we were able to recognize this and release ourselves from the chains of not only our external need for self-worth, but also radically accept people outside of us as they are. Background music by Narek Mirzaei, Relaxation (8 Hz).

Transcript

Hi, I'm Tiffany, And welcome to Life Unedited Sanctuary, Where reality happens. Life unedited is the practice of radical acceptance of life at face value. Through the lens of reality therapy theories. Today's theory reminds us. No one needs to prove themselves. It begins in early childhood, After we have subconsciously attached to the belief that we are not good enough. We aren't born with that belief. Or maybe we could be. We could carry that belief in our DNA from our ancestors. Or we could be three years old getting ourselves some breakfast. And when we pour the milk into our bowl of cereal, It splashes all over the table and floor at the exact moment mom walks in and she reactively shrieks. In that very moment, Our three-year-old brain goes straight to, Mom hates me or I'm bad. Boom, I'm not good enough is stamped into our ego and we spend the rest of our lives trying to prove ourselves. Everything in our world supports the concept of having to prove ourselves, And children are indoctrinated into it just because they are born. It can begin in early childhood with sibling rivalry or trying to garner our parents' attention. It continues in school, Where grades, Test results, And sports foster it. Jobs utilize it for hiring, Promotion, Or even firing rationale. Social media is filled with content related to people trying to prove their worth and often at the expense of degrading other people. Not good enough is at epidemic proportions. Another example I hear often in therapy sessions with my clients is the idea that we expect our significant others to prove themselves to us. This often happens after a big falling out, An argument, In instances of infidelity, Or overuse and abuse of substances. Prove that you have changed. We may see it as giving our partner an opportunity to prove themselves to us in a positive way. In reality, It is expecting them to show up as a version of themselves that we have created in our mind. It is our story of ourselves that we are projecting onto them. The proof that I can trust you is really proof that I can trust me. It is a clear indication of doubting our own self-worth. We are trying to prove ourselves to ourselves. We are trying to shake the I'm not good enough belief from our ego, Which is our inner critic, Our judge, And our jury. Ego is a tough one too, Because on one hand, It is our own worst enemy. On the other hand, It can motivate us to grow, Do better, Try harder. The proverbial double-edged sword. It is a practice of radically accepting ourselves as we are and knowing that everyone is a work in progress. If we give ourselves the grace we would give to our best friend. And remind ourselves often that we don't need to prove our worth. Then we remember the trust in ourselves we were born with. If we don't believe in us, Then how can we expect others to believe in us?