How To Feel Sexy & Confident In Your Body

This is a casual, uplifting, and honest reflection on the many ways we can feel good about ourselves. In this episode, I’m sharing how to feel sexy in your skin. What it means to feel good about your body, looks, and abilities, along with ways to access good feelings and states of mind in various stages of life.

It’s grounded in my TTJ Method, and offered with love to inspire healing, insight, and your next breakthrough.

Welcome to Your Best Podcast. I’m Teemaree.

Transcript

Hey, Hey, Welcome to Your Best Podcast. My name is Tee Marie. I'm your best life coach, And this time we are talking about feeling sexy in your skin. Feeling sexy in your skin, In your body, In who you are, In what you've got. No matter what is going on for you, No matter what size or shape or height, No matter how you identify man or woman or other, No matter your age, Can you feel sexy in your skin, In who you are? We're going to dive into it today. First off though, First off, Let me just tell you, Okay, Let me just tell you right off the top that if you ever feel like a busted can of biscuits, Okay, You are not alone. You are not alone. There have been so many times where all of a sudden, It's just like, Wow, What's going on there? I mean, Maybe it's a look in the mirror. Maybe it's how the clothes suddenly fit. Maybe it's a phenomenal, Delicious, Jam-packed burrito from Chipotle. And all of a sudden, Woo, The silhouette, Something, Something ain't right. If that's you, Or if that has ever been you, Okay, I see you. I understand I have been there too. So first off, Let's just keep it all clear. You know, As your best life coach, I keep it 100 with you. I always, Always, I'm telling you like it is not just from some theory, But also from how I live and what I see with my clients. So, You know, If you are like, I'm struggling, Man. I am having a hard time feeling sexy, Confident, Attractive, Feeling good, Just good even about myself, About the way I look, About the shape that I'm in right now, About how my clothes are fitting, About my style or what's happened to it, Or if I can get a style. I mean, These are all very valid things, You know, No matter if you are the type of person that feels like looks are important or not. I think I know I've heard, I've lived that we all want to have some level of feeling good about what we see in the mirror, Feeling good about what we project out into the world. So if you have ever felt like a busted can of biscuits, You're not alone, Honey. I certainly have felt that myself. And as a matter of fact, Recently in this recent kind of, You know, Not many years back, Kind of recent, I felt like I was just in a slump personally. Like, I don't know. I just wasn't feeling like me, Like the confident me. When I was looking in the mirror, I just found myself to be really nitpicky all of a sudden and really just not satisfied with how my clothes were fitting and looking and just really not, Have you ever been there? You know, It's kind of like an extended bad hair day when you're just like, For some reason, I just can't get it right. It just is not feeling good how I'm presenting myself or how I'm feeling in my skin. Gosh, It sucks to have that feeling. It's really, Really tough because you know, It doesn't feel good. And so all of a sudden you're just kind of like down on yourself or being harsh with yourself or using negative language or avoiding the mirror or adding to the problem because you're not feeling good. So all of a sudden, Maybe you're dressing sloppier, Slumpier, You're wearing clothes that don't fit. You're doing things that just add to the problem. And it ends up being a cycle. Now we're going to dive into a couple of reasons why this happens, Because once we know kind of why this can be happening, We can start to see how to take care of it, Which is what your best is all about. You know, We're human. We all have things that happen. Even when we're strong, Even when you're the best life coach, You're human. You have things that come up. And that's why coaching, Getting better, Personal development, It's a wonderful, Beautiful marathon. It's not a sprint. It's a journey. It's a ride. Because we find ourselves getting into these situations, Into these periods of life where we're just like, Yo, What happened? Or maybe we've been feeling like this a long time. And it's like, Gosh, Can this change? I want to feel better about myself. I want to feel good about the way that I look. So today we're talking about feeling sexy, Feeling good, Feeling great in your skin and your body and who you are. And so we start off with the first thing. It can be emotional blocks. Emotional blocks are a big deal because the way that we feel is essentially the way we are. How many of us, How many of you have you ever, Normally you have a great feeling for life, Good energy. And then all of a sudden, Maybe you get a really bad headache or ache of any kind, Or a really stressful problem that can't go away in a few moments. And suddenly you're changed. Oftentimes now, Maybe you're stressed or you're just thinking focused on the issue or you're in pain. So you're quieter, You're tired, You're reserved. The same thing happens with emotional blocks. When we have emotional blocks, Then it's going to affect the way that we see the world, The way we see ourselves, The way that we operate, So to speak. And this definitely affects our sense of confidence, Our sense of feeling sexy, Good, Attractive, Viable, Vibrant, Alive. So are there emotional blocks? That's the first thing to kind of look at. I know for me, What was happening was, As I started off telling you, When I was just in this kind of weird slump and nothing felt right, It was a little bit of a combination for me. What was happening was that I had some physical issues that were kind of taking my attention. And I was starting to become concerned. I was starting to notice that I was getting some dark patches on my skin. And it was like larger than a freckle, Thank goodness, Nothing to worry about, But just not the look I was going for. And so that was concerning me and I didn't like that. So there were some physical circumstantial things that were happening. And then there was also an emotional, Strange block that started coming up for me, A block around the way that I look. I don't know when the turn started, But I found myself in a season where I was very now judgmental of myself, Harsh in the way that I would speak to myself, Looking in the mirror and not finding anything good, Just kind of, I don't know, Mean. And I had no idea where it came from. I like to do a lot of personal development, Personal growth, Introspection, Prayer. I have some great practices set up, But this weird corner had been turned. And so this combination was causing me to have emotional blocks around what's really in front of me. And maybe that might be happening for you. Are there emotional blocks that you're experiencing? Let me give you a few examples of what might cause this. Sometimes it's a relational situation. Sometimes we date or hook up or end up or are with a partner that somewhere along the line, The conversations and the attitudes and the responses that we get cause us to shrink back and not feel as confident or good about ourselves as we once did. Sometimes it's what we're focusing on and what's in front of us. So whether it is your social media feed or, Uh, Maybe the magazines you subscribe to, Or maybe just the kind of, Uh, Content that you are taking in. For example, If you watch reality shows that have a lot of glamorous women, Then maybe all of a sudden you start to feel like you're not glamorous enough, Feminine enough, Made up enough. These things can creep up on us, But these are some of the reasons why. And then if you are experiencing something like what I experienced, Well, All of a sudden you personally turn an emotional corner. You're not sure why or what happened, But all of a sudden maybe your own self-talk, Your own vision of yourself is skewed somewhere. And so all of a sudden you're in this cycle of kind of negative, Low vibration, Harsh, Uh, Just judgmental perception over yourself. These emotional blocks have a lot to do with what we actually see. In my case, What had happened is there are some hormonal shifts that are happening for me in my life. Now this can happen due to nutrition. It can happen due to a change of life. It can happen for a number of reasons, Sometimes too much stress. So this was happening. Now this hormonal change was causing a emotional change for me. And that was all subtly over time happening. And next thing you know, I'm in this weird kind of perception around myself, Harsh, Critical. I'm not sure what it is for you. And we can break it down in, You know, One of my coaching programs, But wherever you're at, This is all viable. And so this emotional kind of block could be part of why you're not feeling good about yourself and why you're not feeling sexy in your own skin, Or you're not feeling confident with who you are and what you've got. Taking care of those emotional blocks can change everything. There's a whole host of things that are available to you. The first step is awareness, But taking care of those emotions are key. When we take care of our emotions, It helps the way that we look at the world, The way that we respond, The way that we express ourselves, The way that we feel. So really if there's an emotional block there, Taking care of it is key. And there's a lot of ways that I guide my clients to do this specifically in my confidence coaching program. But some things I can tell you for sure is definitely being aware is one being aware, Honestly aware of how you're feeling about yourself and what is causing that feeling is really going to be the start of getting to look at ways to take care of it. For example, If it's a relational situation, Well, There's a number of things there that can be addressed and it has to be around the relationship and what's going on and what's being said and how it's being interpreted and taken in. If it's a hormonal issue, Well, Then now there are definitely things that need to be balanced in the body. This can happen with health and nutrition and with different steps to kind of clear up what has caused this situation and get help for it. If it is self-judgment, Self-talk, Then, Oh, I certainly got my clients through also taking care of this and being able to speak to ourselves better and get clearer about what is really happening. Here is something that helped me to get clear. I took out some photographs and I had realized I was looking for photographs for a project that I needed to prepare. And I was looking back at some photographs that are over 10 years old. Now these photographs were taken by a professional photographer. And if you've ever had a shoot with a professional photographer, What'll happen is they take a whole, A whole series of photographs, But unlike what we do now, Maybe with our phones that have some, Some phones even have filters built in to the camera feature. And then we post them to Instagram and we may or may not use filters. When we do that, A professional photographer will take these photos and go over all of the raw files with you. And depending on what you've arranged with the photographer, You're going to end up with the raw photographs as well. And the retouched photographs that they give you as part of your package. So here I was looking at professional photographs that were over 10 years old and were raw files. And I was absolutely just blessed and overcome with joy and a true perspective. When I noticed that those photographs looked a lot like the photographs that I'm taking now, This was jarring because it helped me to see that the judgments I was putting on myself, The negativity, The harsh talk was really unwarranted. And it helped me to see outside of myself in a really good way. Now you may or may not be able to use that tactic. It may be something else for you, But these types of awarenesses and awakenings are key when it comes to the emotions. Now, You know, You can take care of it in a whole host of ways. And you know now that emotional blocks can have a lot to do with how you are feeling and how you are feeling is most likely not at all how you are looking and how you are presenting. Unless of course you're doing what we talked about in the beginning. If you are feeling bad and dressing in a way where now you're trying to cover yourself up and you're wearing clothes that are much larger than you, Or you're down on yourself. And so now you aren't making any efforts. I've been there too, Where you're just kind of not putting in any work. You're not putting makeup on. You're not fixing your hair. You're not doing the things. Maybe you're not ironing your clothes. Not that you need to wear cosmetics to feel good, But you know what I mean? We all have those things that we do that help us feel good. Help us feel like, Hey, Yeah, I look good today. And when we're down, Those things usually end up suffering. We don't take the time. Now, If those are the cases for you, Those little keys will help. I'm telling you, It is amazing what even just some red lipstick can do. When we take that little bit of effort, It's like, Yeah, Hmm, I'm ready. So that may be something that can help you too. Now let's talk about those habits that get in the way of how we look. The habits. I touched a tiny, Tiny bit on it just now. One of the habits, And I've lived through this myself, And I walk through this with my clients, Especially now after 2020. In 2020, As y'all know, All of a sudden working from home started to become a way more popular because of the pandemic and what we were experiencing worldwide with still running the world, But needing to isolate ourselves for health. So what happens is for many folks that work from home, There are a lot of different challenges that come into play. So some of the habits that come into play that affect the way that we feel about feeling sexy, Good, And like ready for the day is just simply not being ready for the day. You see when you don't have to go to a place to work and your productivity is just being judged by your output and what you're producing online, On your computer, Via reports, On the phone, Well then it can be easy to not take a shower, Iron, Dress well, Do your hair, Put on makeup, Shave your face if you're a man, Um, On and on, Right? So many of my clients have this situation and I definitely experienced this when I first started my practice many years ago and first went into business for myself many, Many years ago. It was part of the freedom. Hey, I am unleashed now. Unfortunately, That can turn into a trap. We need to develop healthy habits that help us to look and feel good because when we look and feel good, We really feel good inside. Now I am in no way saying that it's all about our looks because it isn't. We are so much more than that. But when it comes to feeling sexy, Honey, When it comes to feeling good, When it comes to like, Yo, I know what I got, Those feelings come from us making the efforts to feel that way. It just does. And I'll tell you this. I know models, Celebrities, Musicians, Artists, Fitness gurus, And power people that you just look at them and you assume, Hey, They never have a bad day. And I'm here to tell you that everyone, Everyone, No matter how incredibly gorgeous they may seem or be, Everyone experiences these feelings at one point or another when we're just not liking what we see. So that effort, Those habits really, Really go a long way. We talked a little bit about the emotional world and what can be done there to help us. But when it comes to the habits, This is practical stuff like showering and getting dressed as if you're going to go out, Even if you're not, Or shaving your face, If you're a man and grooming and not just letting things grow. Or as a woman, Something as simple as painting your nails or putting on some lip gloss or that thing that you like for many women, It's some mascara or, You know, Just that little touch. Now, Of course, If you want to go all out, You know, And you do the full glam, That's welcome too. But the thing is developing the habit. Now, Sometimes it is about that appearance, The presentation. Sometimes it's about, Hey, That habit that makes me feel sexy is getting in a great workout or, Oh, That habit that makes me feel sexy is wearing the clothing that I love, That feels good on my body. That is just great against my skin. Sometimes that feeling sexy, Feeling good is that self care, That self care, Whatever that may be, Whether it is actually going out and doing something, Whether it's getting that extra rest or whether that is eating delicious, Phenomenal foods that then make you feel sexy from the inside, Just radiating health and nutrition and cleanliness and goodness that like, Yeah, I've got nothing but vitamins and minerals coursing through me. These are the things and they do go such a long way. So listen, Whether it is that emotional world, That emotional world, That's getting in the way emotionally, You're filling down on yourself. It's been a long time and you haven't, You know, You haven't felt good. You're not liking what you see in the mirror. You're not feeling like you're dressing like a style that reflects you. It's been a long time since you've really put in that effort and you want to, But something's blocking you from doing it. And you're not exactly sure why. Those are all emotional things and we can work through them. There is hope. If it's that series of habits, The practical habits, You know, Ironing, Wearing different clothes from the closet and not just that same comfy couple of outfits, Doing your hair, Putting on something that makes you feel good. Maybe it's a fragrance or painting your nails or men getting a haircut regularly or whatever it is. There is hope there. You can do it. And if that feels overwhelming, My coaching helps with that. Because again, When those, When those things feel overwhelming, Sometimes the emotional block is what's causing it to feel overwhelming. Or sometimes it really is a practical thing that needs to be taken care of so that some time does open up and those possibilities can be seized on. I told you everybody, No matter who they are, No matter how fun, Beautiful, Gorgeous, Hot, Everybody has this feeling at one point or another where we just feel down on ourselves. It could be a whole number of things that cause this. It could be what we're looking at, The media that we're taking in. It could be relational things that people are telling us that we're letting sit inside a little too long. It could be us neglecting ourselves because of a season of life because of emotional blocks because of crazy schedules that have made us lose our way and no longer take the effort. So many reasons. It can be a hormonal thing that's happening. That's really causing now some emotional things to take place that then cause us to be a little harsher, Be a little less satisfied, Be just not right with ourselves. The good news is, Is that along my personal journey, I kicked off and I told you I was just in this strange place, Man. I'm like, What is going on? So a couple of things I realized, Okay, I need to do some stuff to take care of myself. Number one, I need to do things that make me feel great. Sometimes we got to rediscover what those things are. Sometimes we know exactly what those things are. And so I started to take on a few of those practices. Then I had to have a straight up heart to heart with myself. Best life coach to best life coach client. And I had to say, Girl, Look, You're not going to just wake up out of bed ready for the day. At least not the standard that you like to present yourself. So make the effort. You're worth the effort. I had to have a talk with myself and I had to straighten out some things where I'm like, Look, You've got great clothes, Wear them. You have makeup, Use them. You have the ability to style your hair. And it's, Again, I'm not telling you these are the practices that you have to do because your sexiness, Your vibrancy, Your goodness is going to come from wherever is natural to you. But I will tell you that all of the things that help us to feel sexy, Good, Powerful, Fantastic, Sure of ourselves, It does take effort. We do have to do something in order to ensure that we do have that feeling, Emotional work, Practical things, And then taking care of ourselves as we enter each new season. Some of my clients they're younger. And so for them, A lot of times it's a lot of things that are coming at them. A lot of things that they see trending or around them that is causing them to feel like they don't fit in or they're not good enough or they don't have what they need to have to feel sexy, Confident, Good. For my other clients that are middle-aged, Well, It's things in life. It's things in life. Well, Now, Okay. It's about parenting or working nonstop or the business, Or we have all these responsibilities. So that sexy, Let's go. I'm ready for anything. I'm dressed to woo. We're going out tonight energy. It's not really kind of being catered to in that season of life. So then what do we do there? We walk through it. And then I have phenomenal, Amazing, Wonderful clients that are not in middle-age anymore. And for them it's, I am too old. I'm getting old. I'm not strong or sexy or beautiful. Like before my body doesn't look like it used to look. Uh, I can't dress like that or do those things anymore. And we take care of that too, Honey, Because let me tell you something. As long as you have life, As long as you have breath, You have beauty in you. You have beauty and charm and sex appeal and, And interest and zest and energy and value, Whether that comes from a fantastic appearance or strength or flexibility or gentle ease, Whatever. You've got something that is valuable and should be honored. And you deserve to feel sexy and good and wonderful in your skin. And yes, I'm specifically using sexy because sexy has an energy. Sexy has an energy that's like, Whoo. Hey, I'm ready. I got this. Yo, I look good, Man. See, We know. We know. Now I don't know exactly how men feel about this. I haven't even really gotten the true truth from my husband that I could remember, But I know for us women. Okay. For us women, We know, We know. There are times when we'll be in a store and we will see something in the store and we immediately know like, Oh yes, Honey, That is fire. That is mine. It's amazing. It's already an instant favorite. You know, You know, We know it's on. And the same thing is when we, When the hair is just right, When a makeup's kicking or even, Oh, There are times in the morning maybe, Or after a strong day of work or after a great workout or whatever, It doesn't even have to be about the makeup and the hair, But there's something, There's a feeling that's like, Oh yeah. And so we all have access to this. There is an energy, A specific energy around, Hey, I feel good. I knew that I would now, You know what I'm saying? So that's what we're focusing on today. Listen, I'm Tmarie, Your best life coach. This is your best podcast. You know, I keep it 100 with you. I always keep it 100% authentic with you. And so we're breaking it down today. Listen, If you're having some issues with your confidence, With your sense of esteem, Reach out to me, No matter what, Know this, You are valuable. You are powerful. You are amazing. You are great. You have beauty, Charisma, Energy, Sex appeal, And more. Let's unleash that. You deserve your best.