Guided Forgiveness Meditation With Introduction

A short talk about forgiveness practice, followed by a guided forgiveness meditation. This is a supportive and loving practice that can bring light to and heal experiences that have caused us hurt or where we may have hurt others.

In the guided practice, three expressions of forgiveness are extended:
1) Seeking forgiveness for harm to others.
2) Seeking forgiveness for harm to ourselves.
3) Offering forgiveness to others who we feel have harmed us.

Transcript

Over the course of our lifetime, We've had many experiences in which we have felt deeply hurt. Sometimes that hurt is deep enough to feel like an injustice or a betrayal. We have also knowingly and unknowingly hurt others. We may leave them deeply wounded, Even to the point of their feeling hurt as an injustice or betrayal. When we carry these hurts and the knowledge we have hurt others, We usually block off the felt sense of these hurts. We put them away in the cellar of our psychology to not feel the hurt places, And we put a little energy over them that has a kind of numbing agent. So if we make contact with them, There's a sense of numbness about it. However, To live with an authentic heart, What I call the Buddha's heart, Includes letting go and releasing our deep hurts in which we forgive ourselves, We forgive others who have hurt us, And we seek forgiveness from those who we feel we have wounded or hurt. Today we're going to lovingly move into these hurt and wounded areas and places, And the memory of hurting and wounding others, And seek forgiveness for ourselves while offering forgiveness to those who have hurt us. I want to first start by identifying some natural resistance to forgiveness. The first resistance is a belief that we deserve the hurt, That the other was right in rejecting or abandoning us. The next resistance is overly identifying with being angry. So we have an anger reaction when we are hurt or when we have hurt others, And we identify deeply with the anger and like the energy of the anger. So there's a way that anger can help us feel like we're protected from being hurt. So if we're overly identified with that anger, It makes moving into forgiveness more challenging. The third resistance to forgiveness is overly identifying with our hatred. Whenever there is hurt, When we have been hurt or we have hurt others, We can move into a hatred. The hatred can feel like there's a lot of power and protection from being hurt further, Either through someone else's actions or our own actions. So we can be very identified with the hatred, And that too can keep us from making us full of contact with forgiveness. And finally, The fourth resistance is wanting to continue seeing ourselves as someone who is innocent, Pure, And good. And somehow by holding that picture of ourselves as a young, Pure, Good one, We endure the pain of suffering or having harmed others, And we feel a certain nobility in holding our hurt and a specialness by the fact that we've been wounded and we are pure and good. And I'm not saying that we're not pure and good, But it's when we're overly identified, And that's the primary identification, That's where it becomes a problem when we work with forgiveness. It's important to remember that we can only work with the memories that are ready to arise or ready for forgiveness. If a memory of hurt does not arise today, It likely means it's not yet ready to be released. We will pause for a moment between each forgiveness practice to reflect upon that forgiveness practice. We will also do each forgiveness practice twice. In my experience, It's helpful the first time through to get familiar with the language of the practice, And the second time seems to touch more deeply into those hurt places within. In starting forgiveness practice, It's important to make contact from the Buddhist perspective with our motivation. In a Buddhist text called the Dhammapada is a line, Hatred never ceases by hatred, But by love alone is healed. This is an ancient truth. I'll say that again, Hatred never ceases by hatred, But by love alone is healed. This is an ancient truth. We will practice the three expressions of forgiveness now. In the first part, We seek forgiveness for having harmed, Abandoned, Or rejected others. In the second part, We will seek forgiveness for how we have turned away from, Abandoned, Or harmed ourselves. In the third, We will offer forgiveness to those we feel have abandoned, Harmed, Or turned away from us. The first practice, Forgiveness for having harmed, Abandoned, Or rejected others. Seat yourself comfortably with your hands high in your thighs or on your lap, Or you can put your right hand over your heart as we say these forgiveness practices. Just be here, Allowing your awareness to rest in your heart area. The way this will work is I will say the line and then you'll repeat it after me. Let us begin. There are many ways I have harmed, Abandoned, Or rejected others, Knowingly and unknowingly. There have been countless times I have harmed, Abandoned, Or rejected others close to me. I remember each of those instances now. I have harmed, Injured, Or rejected others through my ignorance, Confusion, Or fear. Please forgive me. We'll do it one more time. There are many ways I have harmed, Abandoned, Or rejected others, Knowingly and unknowingly. There have been countless times I have harmed, Abandoned, Or rejected others close to me. I remember each of these instances now. I have harmed, Injured, Or rejected others through my ignorance, Confusion, Or fear. Please forgive me. In the next part of forgiveness practice, We make contact with the harm we have caused ourselves, Release our guilt or remorse, And seek forgiveness for our behavior and actions. So this is forgiveness for having harmed, Abandoned, Or rejected ourselves. Repeat after me. There have been countless ways I have harmed, Abandoned, Or rejected myself, Knowingly and unknowingly. I remember each of these instances now. I have harmed, Rejected, Or abandoned myself through my ignorance, Confusion, Or fear. I humbly ask forgiveness for my actions. I forgive myself. May I be forgiven. One more time. There have been countless ways I have harmed, Abandoned, Or rejected myself, Knowingly and unknowingly. I remember each of these instances now. I have harmed, Rejected, Or abandoned myself through my ignorance, Confusion, Or fear. I humbly ask forgiveness for my actions. I forgive myself. May I be forgiven. In the final step of the forgiveness practice, We offer forgiveness for others who have harmed, Rejected, Or abandoned us. Repeat after me. There are many ways I have felt harmed, Abandoned, Or rejected by others. I see now this was done out of their ignorance, Confusion, Or fear. I remember these instances now. I recall the harm, Rejection, And abandonment I received. I am ready to witness and release. These deep feelings of harm, Rejection, And abandonment. I humbly offer forgiveness to those who I feel have harmed, Abandoned, Or rejected me. I release my deep hurt places, My memories of hatred toward others. I will never close my heart. One more time. Repeat after me. There are many ways I have felt harmed, Abandoned, Or rejected by others. I see now this was done out of their ignorance, Confusion, Or fear. I remember these instances now. I recall the harm, Rejection, And abandonment I received. I am ready to witness and release. These deep feelings of harm, Rejection, And abandonment. I humbly offer forgiveness to those who I feel have harmed, Abandoned, Or rejected me. I release my deep hurt places, My memories of hatred toward others. I will never close my heart. I release my deep hurt places, My memories of hatred toward others.

Reviews

Thanks Stephen. Couldn't listen all the way through the first time. Cried a lot.
Second listen: Involuntary tearing in my eyes. 4 ways. Could identify with each way. The one about innocence especially unique, in my experience. We are loving and innocent, however, don't use this as an excuse. I really need this. Question: Am I misunderstanding, or are you suggesting truly remembering and listing, in one's thoughts, letting memories just gently surface, with each and every specific instance? Replace metta practice with this? If so, what about pre-verbal and in utero? Experiencing a "felt sense" in the heart area as I ask these. Many thanks. 🙏

I think I’ll have to come back to this one pretty often, but thank you for giving me that place to come back to 🙏🏼.