"I Am Not," Innate Goodness, And Silent Illumination

In this guided meditation, Stephen takes the listener through “I Am Not” practice, innate goodness meditation, and finally silent illumination meditation. Silent illumination encourages opening to the unmanifest Absolute and resting in deep peace of the Absolute.

Transcript

So,

I have a practice that some of you are familiar with called the I Am Not Practice.

And this really grew out of my own meditation,

That when I was doing retreats,

Before each meditation,

I would go through this process of identifying whatever was arising in my awareness about me,

That I would say,

I am not that.

So if I was having thoughts,

I would say,

I'm not my thoughts.

And if I felt memories coming up,

I am not my memories.

So what this does is this helps us unplug from the sense of self,

From the I-ness,

And we're unplugging from the concepts of I.

So the way this works is a call and response.

I will make a statement.

The first one is I'm not my appearance.

And after I say it,

Then you all say it out loud.

And that'll be the first part of our meditation.

And then I'll lead on to other parts of the meditation.

So go ahead and seat yourself in your meditation posture.

I recommend always starting with some big belly breaths to settle yourself here and really feel your seat.

Get a big breath in there and then expel as much of the air as possible.

Feel your contact with the floor,

The support of the building you're in holding you right now.

And if you can sense it Mother Earth beneath,

Offering each of us support and nourishment in this moment.

So what we're going to do is I'll do the I am not practice and then I'm going to lead you in a meditation.

So repeat after me.

I am not my appearance.

I am not my body.

I am not my thoughts.

I am not my life history.

I am not my behavior.

I am not my emotions.

I am not my memories.

I am not anything.

So feeling your contact with the floor.

Feel yourself in your seat.

Take a few deep belly breaths really expanding your lungs and then exhale as much of that air as you can and do about five or six of these rounds.

Let your awareness settle into the Hara about two fingers below the navel and two fingers in from the surface.

And you may feel it as a sense of grounding,

A landing,

A settled hereness.

And just breathe into the Hara,

Letting yourself land and be right here.

Breathing into and out of the Hara.

Letting awareness expand there if that's what it wishes to do.

You may feel that settled landedness expand,

A rooted hereness.

Using your breath,

Breathing from the heart area,

Invite the awareness from the Hara to move up into and inhabit the heart area as well as the Hara.

Accept whatever's in the heart in this moment.

We don't need to investigate anything at this moment.

Just be here.

You're orienting to innate goodness,

That lightness,

The buoyancy,

The gentle breeze that soothes and lets us relax a little more.

You may even feel a quality of tenderness,

Even suppleness maybe here.

Continue breathing into the heart and Hara,

Letting yourself be touched by any buoyancy or lightness you're feeling.

We're going to turn to silent illumination meditation,

Also called Shikantasa.

And with your awareness in the heart and Hara area,

Just become aware of your body and mind.

We usually equate mind to the head and body to everything but head.

And what we're wanting to just observe is,

Is this unified?

Are you holding a unified body-mind or is there a separation?

My mind is in the head.

My body is everything else from neck down.

If that's your experience,

That means there's a concept separating body and mind.

So if you're feeling the unity of body-mind,

Just be with the unity,

Breathing in and just letting the unity be present.

If you're feeling a separation of body-mind,

Just be with body-mind and separation,

Division,

Holding those,

Breathing in,

Just being here.

For those of you feeling the separation,

You may find the separation becoming softer and more porous.

Body and mind are beginning to contact each other and beginning to intermerge,

To blend into body-mind.

Let that continue to happen without resistance.

Just be body-mind in this moment.

As you're contacting the merged body-mind,

Notice that body-mind feels to be inside of the body and that there's also an outside to the body.

As you make contact with inside and outside,

Notice if they're the same,

If they're blended inside,

Outside,

Or are they separate by the body?

If you're feeling a blended inside-outside,

Just be with that,

Allowing that flow of body-mind and inside-outside to be a oneness.

If you're feeling a separation between inside and outside,

Just be with inside,

Outside,

And the body boundary as concept.

It's just an idea.

Keep breathing in,

Just letting inside,

Outside,

And concept of body soften and begin to merge.

The concept of body,

Body boundary is softening,

Falling away in places where you can feel the blended and merged inside,

Outside.

Stay with the merged body-mind and inside,

Outside,

Letting the body boundary drop further.

You don't need the body boundary in this moment.

Notice as the body boundary continues to drop away and the merged inside,

Outside,

A kind of unity,

A oneness,

A sameness is present.

You may also know and be in contact with the quality of vastness,

A spaciousness,

An openness in every direction.

If you feel into the spaciousness,

The vastness,

You'll discover there's no boundary,

There's no border,

There's no end,

Unending vastness.

Let yourself relax into that vastness,

Letting go of any sense of a need for control,

Trusting,

Surrendering control in this moment.

For those with inner sight,

You may be noticing the blackness that's present,

The rich,

Dark,

Inky blackness of the unmanifest absolute.

Feeling into that blackness,

Making contact,

Feeling the vastness.

You may be feeling the quality of absence,

And that's a quality of just nothing is here,

Nothing.

Nothing is absent from this place,

But it feels significant,

Like something important is here in this nothingness,

Something vital.

You may be feeling the quality of peace that's here.

One of the ways it can be recognized is it softens our mind,

Our need to keep producing thoughts and concepts.

Because we feel so at ease,

So relaxed and open,

We don't need to make or do anything.

It can just be present right here.

The peace is present in a way that it doesn't insist.

It doesn't need to be experienced or recognized.

And we can tell it's not a peace in relationship to activity.

It's the peace that comes before all creation.

Every manifestation started with peace.

This is the peace before the big bang that started our universe.

The nothingness,

The vastness,

The contentedness of peace.

Let yourself relax into the peace,

Letting go of control of any need to be anything,

Any concepts.

Letting go of any place that you belong.

Let go of needing to get anywhere.

Letting go of any need to do anything.

But just be here.

Notice if you can sense any tightness or contractions in your consciousness.

And if so,

See if you can relax these just a little,

Opening to let the peace make contact and touch what's inside.

Let yourself relax a little deeper,

Open a little more,

Accept more profoundly what is here.

The stillness and silence are here also.

You can feel it slowing,

Quieting,

Your normal mind workings,

Your allegiances to the body and mind.

Let the stillness,

The silence,

And the peace soothe you.

Let them make contact with any part of you that wishes contact.

Surrender control.

Allow.

Be right here.

Let them make contact with any part of you that wishes contact.

You may feel like you can't formulate a thought.

You can't draw upon a single concept.

That's perfectly fine.

Remember that each of us is home.

This is our source where we begin.

So rest,

Openly relax,

Surrender to your home.

Let them make contact with any part of you that wishes contact.

Let them make contact with any part of you that wishes contact.

Let them make contact with any part of you that wishes contact.

Let them make contact with any part of you that wishes contact.

Let them make contact with any part of you that wishes contact.

Let them make contact with any part of you that wishes contact.

Let them make contact with any part of you that wishes contact.

Let them make contact with any part of you that wishes contact.

Let them make contact with any part of you that wishes contact.

We'll just sit here in silence for about 10 more minutes and then I'll continue on and conclude the meditation.

Bring your awareness to the heart area.

Beginning to take breaths in the heart area.

Letting the peace remain here as you make contact with your heart area.

If the peace wishes to touch into your heart,

That's perfectly fine.

And if it doesn't,

That's fine too.

Keep breathing into the heart area.

Letting peace be part of that experience.

With your in-breath,

Breathing in from the hara,

Invite peace to inhabit the hara.

The center,

The grounding.

As you breathe in,

Feel your lungs,

Your belly,

Your diaphragm all the way down to the genitals.

Breathe in peace,

Letting it settle and inhabit your interiority.

Be willing to be peace.

Feel yourself in your seat.

Perhaps there still is no inside-outside,

Meaning there's a unified quality of peace with no separation.

Breathe peace in and out,

Just peace.

Everything in this moment,

In this breath,

Is peace.

Breathe in peace.

Breathe out.

Breathe out.

Let peace breathe itself in this moment.

Breathe in peace.

Breathe out.

Reviews

Useful guidance. I ended up in a very peaceful place. 🙏

Very relaxing and soothing. A great guided meditation into the vastness and it's peace.