You are listening to a meditation from Sound Science Soul.
Welcome.
For the next few minutes,
I'd like to invite you into a visualization.
But first,
A story.
Recently,
I watched someone throw another person's shoe into a swimming pool.
The shoe landed in the water and floated there.
But what happened next is what caught my attention.
You see,
If it had been me,
I might have asked the person to get the shoe.
I might have reminded them.
I might have explained why it mattered.
I might have pointed out what was going to happen to the shoe if it stayed in the water.
I might have even made sure they understood how irritated I was.
But the person it happened to didn't do any of that.
She didn't tell him to get the shoe.
She didn't remind him.
She didn't explain whether she mattered.
She didn't point at it every few minutes to make sure he noticed.
She simply gave him the opportunity to decide what he was going to do.
And eventually,
He got the shoe on his own.
Later,
I realized why observing this interaction affected me.
Because for years I've been trying to understand certain patterns in my own relationships.
And suddenly I saw something I had never seen before.
I wasn't allowing people to get the shoe.
I've spent a lot of energy trying to help people get the shoe.
Trying to guide them,
Trying to explain,
Trying to remind,
Trying to create the outcome I wanted,
Trying to create.
The outcome because I needed it.
That to control people.
Not because I wanted to criticize them.
Not because I enjoyed carrying the responsibility.
I was simply trying to create safety.
I was trying to make people show up for me that I loved and hoped would show up for me.
Trying to make sure things worked out.
Trying to prevent disappointment.
Trying to prevent hurt.
And then I realized something else.
The reason I wasn't allowing people to get the shoe wasn't because I needed control.
It was because I didn't trust what it would mean if they didn't get it.
Because if they didn't get the shoe,
Maybe they didn't care.
Maybe they weren't willing.
Maybe they weren't capable.
Maybe they weren't going to show up the way I had hoped they would.
And that can be a painful thing to discover.
So instead of allowing reality to reveal itself,
I would keep helping.
Keep explaining,
Keep reminding,
Keep caring.
Keep trying to create a different answer.
Maybe you've done this too.
Perhaps you've explained the same need over and over.
Perhaps you've reminded someone repeatedly.
Perhaps you've carried responsibilities that did not belong to you.
Perhaps you've spent years trying to help someone become who you hoped they would or could be.
And maybe underneath all of that effort was a quiet fear.
A fear that if you stopped managing the situation,
If you stopped reminding,
If you stopped carrying the responsibility,
Nobody would get the shoe.
So we're going to explore where in your life you may be carrying responsibility that doesn't belong to you.
So now I'd like to invite you into that visualization.
Gently close your eyes.
Let your breath soften.
And just stay with me for a little while.
Imagine yourself standing beside a swimming pool.
The water is still.
The surface is calm.
And floating in the water as a shoe.
Your shoe.
And you didn't put it there.
Notice your reaction.
Is there any urge to jump in?
And he urged to rescue.
Any urge to explain.
Any urge to make something happen.
There's nothing wrong with these impulses.
Just simply notice them.
Now imagine that standing nearby is someone else.
The person who threw the shoe in.
Someone who has the ability to retrieve the shoe.
Someone who can see it.
Someone who knows it's there.
And notice what happens inside of you.
Do you want to point?
Do you want to remind them?
Do you want to explain why the shoe matters?
You want to make sure they understand what will happen if they leave it there.
Just simply notice.
Now bring to mind a person in your life.
Or maybe a situation.
Something in your life that feels unresolved.
Something you keep trying to solve.
Someone you keep thinking about.
Someone you keep trying to understand.
Someone you keep trying to help.
Someone you keep trying to convince.
Someone whose choices matter deeply to you.
And notice whether you've been carrying responsibilities that belong to them.
That responsibilities belong to you.
Their responsibilities.
Perhaps she'd been carrying responsibility for their growth.
For healing.
Their effort.
Her awareness.
Or follow through.
Their choices.
Or just how they show up for you.
What does that feel like?
Notice the weight of it.
How much energy it requires.
How long you've been carrying it.
And see yourself setting that weight down.
Not because it doesn't matter.
Not because you've stopped caring.
At because you've given up?
Because it isn't yours to carry.
Your responsibility is to communicate honestly.
To communicate clearly.
Honor your own needs and values.
To maintain your boundaries.
What another person chooses to do with that information belongs only to them.
Now return to the image of the shoe floating in the water.
And ask yourself.
What if I stop trying to get this shoe for them?
What if I stopped reminding?
Stopped managing.
Stepped rescuing.
Stopped carrying responsibilities that don't belong to me.
Notice what happens.
For some,
There may be relief.
Others fear.
For other's sadness.
Because if we stop carrying the responsibility,
Something becomes visible.
And that's reality.
Reality allows us to see clearly.
Reveals who people are.
Reveals what they value.
Reveals what they're willing to do.
And reality reveals what they're not willing to do.
And while that truth can often be painful,
It is also freeing.
Because the goal was never to force someone to get the shoe.
The goal was to see clearly.
The goal was to know the truth.
So now can you allow reality to reveal itself?
Can you allow this person to show you who they really are?
Without managing.
Without chasing.
Without rescuing.
Without carrying them to the shoe.
Simply allowing them the opportunity to choose.
Opportunity to care.
The opportunity to act.
Opportunity to show you who they are.
Now imagine yourself standing beside the pool one final time.
The shoe is still floating there.
And instead of forcing an outcome.
You simply allow the situation to reveal itself.
No chasing,
No rescuing.
No caring.
No controlling.
Just trust.
Trust that whatever is revealed is information.
Trust that you can handle what you learn.
And trust that your peace does not depend on controlling the outcome.
Some people will get the shoe.
Some won't.
Some people will show up.
Some won't.
Some people will grow.
Some won't.
Some people will care enough to act,
And some won't.
Both are answers.
Both reveal something important.
So as we sit together for these final moments,
Consider this question.
Where in my life am I still trying to get the shoe for someone else?
And what might happen if I trusted myself enough to let reality reveal the answer?
Because perhaps the greatest act of trust isn't believing that everyone will get the shoe.
Perhaps it's trusting that you'll be okay if they don't.
Now when you're ready,
Gently return your awareness to the room around you.
Taking with you whatever insight this reflection may have revealed.
Thank you for being here.
