The Relief Of Letting Go Of Control

This meditation invites you to notice how much energy you spend trying to stay in control and what that’s doing in your body. Through a simple story and a few moments of reflection, you’ll be guided to loosen that grip. Feel what it’s like to release the burden of control.

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Transcript

Hi there, Thank you for joining me. I'm Rod Janz, A trained spiritual director, Retreat leader, And coach. Today I want to invite you to reflect on letting go of the weight of control and then discovering the freedom of love's embrace. That's love with a capital L. Divine, Unconditional, Universal love. During this guided meditation, I will invite you to be open to signs of love in your life. Become aware of how you try and control your life and the weight of doing that. And then we'll let go using a powerful image and scene from the film The Mission and the main character Mendoza. Okay, Let's reflect and meditate together. Take a moment to arrive. There's nothing that you need to do right now. If you're feeling the pressure to go somewhere else or do something else, I just want to encourage you to let that go. Let go. Notice your body, What's going on inside. Notice your breath. Notice the space that you're in. As you settle, I want to invite you to reflect on something. Here's a self-inquiry question. How much energy have you spent today or even during your whole life trying to control things? How much energy have you expended trying to hold everything together? How much energy have you expended spinning multiple plates? How much energy have you expended trying to keep the world from spinning out of control? Where do you notice those things, Maybe just one of those things in your body? It can feel like gripping the steering wheel of life as tightly as you can, Believing that if you let go, Even for a moment, Everything might fall apart. Sometimes planning and responsibility are needed. Of course they are. But if we're honest, Sometimes what we call responsibility is really anxiety. So for the next few minutes, I want to offer you an invitation. Just stop. Stop trying to manage your world. Stop trying to prove that you're worthy of being here. When it comes to love, Divine, Sacred, Unconditional, Universal love, It's not a mountain that we have to climb. It's the ground that we're already standing on. I've really been enjoying some of Elizabeth Gilbert's reflections recently, And she speaks of signatures of affection hidden all around us. I love that phrase, Little reminders that we are held and that we're not alone. Mary Oliver, As I've reflected on numerous times in different meditations on Insight Timer, Calls them hints of gladness. And if we look closely, The evidence of love is everywhere. It's in the way our bodies know how to heal, In the way seasons change without asking permission, In the kindness of a stranger, Or the way a song or a line in a poem finds you at just the right moment. I don't think these are accidents. I think they're love reaching out toward us. Take a moment to reflect. In the last 24 hours or possibly in the last week, Have you noticed any signatures of affection, Healing and unexpected kindness, Something you noticed outdoors, A line from a song, A poem or a spiritual reading? I know surrender is a weighted and sort of difficult word for some, But I'm going to go ahead and use it here and just say that surrendering to love is not about becoming someone else. It's about opening our eyes. It's about noticing. It's about remembering that we're part of something larger, A story that is at its core kind and loving. You don't have to get it right to belong. You were born belonging. You were born okay. You always were okay and you will be okay. So now let's explore letting go of control. We carry different drives. They're the energy centers of the ego. They show up as a need for security, A need for approval, A need for control, A need to change things. But for now, Let's just focus on control. Imagine all the control that you think you have and see if you can recognize it for what it really is. A heavy imagined weight, Something that you've been carrying for a long time. I invite you to picture a man named Mendoza from the film The Mission. The Mission came out in 1986 and it's set in mid-18th century South America, Specifically around 1750 to 1758. Put yourself in Mendoza's shoes. In the movie, He's climbing a massive waterfall. Imagine that you're climbing a massive waterfall and tied to your waist is a heavy net filled with armor, Your weapons, All the things that represent your past, Your pride, Your mistakes, Your abuse. The rocks are slippery. The weight pulls you backward, But you believe that you have to carry on. You believe that you have to carry it. You believe that your suffering makes you worthy. Your armor might look different. It might be the need to be right. It might be the need to control how others see you. It might be holding on to bitterness and resentment because those things feel like power. You're climbing your own waterfall and the weight you're carrying is your own. You're tired. You're so tired from the weight of control. Now imagine this. The scene changes. You finally reach the top. You're exhausted. You're breathing hard, Just like Mendoza was in the film. And then someone, A child from one of the indigenous Gaurani communities where Mendoza has wronged people, Walks toward him. There's no anger. There's no punishment in this child. There's just an innocence, A curiosity, And a spirit of forgiveness in the purest sense. And with a small knife, They cut the rope and the net falls away. The weight disappears, Tumbling down the cliff. Take a moment and imagine that for yourself. What would it be like to have the weight of control cut away? Armor is gone. Your blaming and resentment is gone. The way you try to control others is gone. The way you try to control yourself has been released. The tension has been released. This is what surrender can feel like. Take a moment and feel into it. You can recognize the voice of love over or compared to the voice of condemnation. Love is not the voice that judges your burden. Love is the hand that cuts the rope. In the moment that Mendoza's weight was cut away, He doesn't celebrate. He collapses. He weeps. Not from weakness, But from relief. From the undoing of everything he thought he had to be. From the burden of all the mistakes that he had made. He realizes that he doesn't have to be strong anymore. He can simply be held, Loved, Released, And forgiven as he is. And you can too. You are held. You are loved. You are released and forgiven just as you are. You might feel dirty. You might feel exhausted. You might feel human. And when that weight falls away, He doesn't lose himself. He becomes free. The anxiety we often mistake for control is our ego. And when we let it go, We don't disappear. We actually arrive. We become more of who we were meant to be. So now as we begin to close, Gently bring your attention back to your body. Notice if there's any tension, Anywhere at all. And when you're ready, Take a slow, Deep breath in and hold it at the top. And then release it through your mouth. Again, Notice your body. Is there a place that's still holding tension? If you like, Gently name it. And then I invite you to breathe into that place. Take another deep breath in, Into the place where you're still holding some tension. Hold it. And then exhale through your mouth. Now bring your attention back to your breath, Just breathing naturally. And rest. Just be. Thanks again for participating in this meditation and for joining me. As you go throughout your day, May you gently release the weight you were never meant to carry. And discover the freedom of being held in love, Just as you are. Take good care.