The Serenity Prayer: Accepting What Is

In this reflection, we’ll dig into the Serenity Prayer—the whole messy business of acceptance, courage, and figuring out the difference. It’s about letting go of control and finding a little peace, even when life feels like a disaster.

Transcript

Hi,

Thanks for joining me.

Today I want to reflect on a familiar prayer,

The Serenity Prayer.

This prayer has meant so much to so many,

Particularly those who are in recovery.

Let's begin with the words of the prayer.

God,

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

Courage to change the things I can,

And wisdom to know the difference.

These words are a reminder that we don't have to control everything,

And that there's profound strength in knowing when to let go and when to act.

The Serenity Prayer is about acceptance,

Courage,

And wisdom.

It's about learning how to soften our grip on the need to control life and then finding peace in what is.

Let's go back over the words again and just say the prayer slowly and prayerfully.

Be open to a connection with the words,

And try to pay attention to anything that might open up in you.

God,

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.

Courage to change the things I can,

And wisdom to know the difference.

The first part of the prayer invites us into acceptance.

It asks us to surrender to what we cannot change.

That's hard,

Isn't it?

Most of us are taught that life should bend to our will,

And if we try hard enough,

We can force things to go our way.

But life doesn't always work like that,

Does it?

There are forces beyond us,

Currents we cannot control,

And fighting against the uncontrollable only leaves us exhausted and disheartened.

Acceptance isn't about giving up.

It's about recognizing reality as it is,

Not as we want it to be.

It's about saying,

This is what's happening,

Without the need to resist,

Fix,

Or judge.

Primarily our thoughts,

Feelings,

And emotions fall into this category.

They need to be accepted,

Not resisted,

Fixed,

Or judged.

You don't have to carry the weight of the world.

Acceptance is about setting down that heavy load and letting life unfold as it will.

Here are a few questions to consider,

Particularly about acceptance.

Are there places where you're trying to force an outcome?

Are there situations where you've been holding on too tightly,

Where surrender might actually bring peace?

Take a moment to consider where you might be trying to swim upstream instead of going with the flow.

The second line of the prayer asks for courage.

The courage to change the things we can.

Acceptance doesn't mean we stop showing up.

It means we stop fighting reality while still participating fully in life.

Courage is not about being fearless.

It's about taking one step at a time,

Even when you feel afraid.

It's about being willing to face discomfort,

To lean into vulnerability,

To risk being seen.

I don't know about you,

But as I consider this,

The places in my life where I've seemed to have made the most progress have been areas where I have taken courage,

Even when I was afraid.

The courage that's talked about in this prayer is the courage to apologize when you've hurt someone.

It's the courage to make a difficult phone call,

To say no when it would be easier to say yes,

To show up for a friend who's unraveling,

Even when you feel like you have nothing to give.

Transformation happens when we're willing to meet life as it is,

Not as we wish it to be.

Courage is messy and uncomfortable,

But it's also where grace shows up when you take action based on wisdom.

Recently I was in a workshop and at the end of the workshop we all said I am statements.

One person said,

I am willing to risk being seen trying.

And I almost gasped.

I thought,

Oh,

That's brilliant.

And that applies to what we're talking about here.

That's courage.

I am willing to risk being seen trying.

Another quote from an unknown author is,

You cannot control the wind,

But you can adjust the sails.

Take a moment to consider that.

You cannot control the wind,

But you can adjust the sails.

Where in your life are you being called to notice the wind and adjust the sails?

Let the awareness of that rise naturally.

Finally,

The prayer asks for the wisdom to know the difference between what we can change and what we cannot.

Sometimes,

This is the hardest part,

Isn't it?

Knowing when to accept and when to act.

When to hold on and when to let go.

Sometimes wisdom is letting go of a relationship that's no longer healthy.

Sometimes it's staying and working through the hard parts.

Sometimes it's stepping back.

And then other times it's showing up.

Wisdom doesn't come from overthinking or analyzing.

Wisdom often comes from stillness.

From the quiet place beneath your thoughts.

It kind of arises to use spiritual language.

It's the gentle nudge,

The subtle sense of knowing that emerges when we're willing to just be.

Wisdom isn't about certainty.

It's about trust.

It's about listening deeply to the intelligence within you and having the courage to follow it,

Even when it doesn't make sense.

Take a moment to sit with this.

What is life asking of you right now?

Is it a time to let go?

Or is it time to take action on something?

Just in closing,

The Serenity Prayer isn't about fixing your life.

It's about knowing that you are already held,

Even when everything else feels like a disaster.

As Reinhold Niebuhr,

The author of this prayer,

Said,

Do your best and then relax.

Let things go the way they will.

You don't have to have it all figured out.

You don't have to know the outcome of every circumstance that you find yourself in.

All you have to do is keep showing up.

Accepting what you cannot change.

Finding the courage to change what you can.

And listening deeply for the wisdom to know the difference.

Let grace meet you where you are.

Thank you for taking the time to listen and participate in this reflection.

May you carry the serenity,

Courage and wisdom of this prayer with you as you move through your day.

Reviews

An excellent breakdown of the serenity prayer. This really deepened my understanding and eased a bit of my heartache. I wrote down all of your words and will return to this daily. So much gratitude for your offering. 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

Loved this ! My favorite prayer . You share some great reflections and questions. Let Grace meet us where we are 🙏💫

Thank you for this reflection on the Serenity Prayer. It really made me slow down and think about it deeply.

I have been repeating this prayer almost daily for a while now.
It gives me comfort as I am navigating through a difficult time.
Your explanations and guidance expanding the meaning of this prayer was very helpful.
Thank you.

I will listen to this again, stop, and write in my journal at different times of the talk.
Thank you for your gentle voice and message to compel me to apply this to my present conflict with my sister.

Thank you so much for this reflection. Just what I needed and contained so many powerful & helpful quotes 🙏