Self-Acceptance

So self-acceptance.

What if nothing about us needs fixing?

So This is really important because the way we've been conditioned is that there is something wrong.

There's something wrong with the way we keep responding.

There's something wrong with the way we are thinking.

There's something wrong with the way we're feeling.

It's not congruent.

It should be like this.

It should be like that.

And actually part of the human condition,

And this is what most of us don't know,

Part of the human condition,

Is that the experiences that we experience are.

.

.

Misaligned unpredictable random arbitrary unhelpful unkind inner experiences Of course,

It's the other side of what I've just said there as well.

But it's part of the human condition to experience unwanted inner experiences.

And the brain has a negativity bias.

This evolved over generations and generations.

This means it notices what is wrong.

Far more than what is right.

And because of our inner world It's noticing not just the external world,

But also the experiences that we have in our inner world.

Right.

Those ones that I mentioned earlier.

So.

Criticism sticks like velcro craze slides off like teflon and this sense of i'm not okay is rife.

At times.

Yes,

Some more than others,

But.

.

.

It's so.

Ubiquitous to the human condition.

It's so universal to the human condition.

So the brain's autopilot spends a lot of time in self evaluation.

Again,

This is how we've evolved.

What this means is the classic kind of like,

Am I good enough?

Did I do that right?

What will they think of me?

It feels like such a reality that we get pulled into when we obsess over and ruminate over.

But it's part of a human condition.

And most of us don't know this.

We just kind of think,

Oh,

This is just about me,

Right?

So interestingly instead of it this being about like positive thinking the antidote is not positive thinking It's about allowing our inner world.

Thoughts,

Feelings,

Sensations and urges.

Allowing our inner world the space to to be,

For these experiences to be.

It's letting these moments.

Of feeling.

Inadequate.

Letting them register,

Not in a way where we're fused with them.

But in a way where we recognise This.

Is also what other people experience.

And most of us don't recognize that.

This is what I cover in.

.

.

The body of work that I've done,

Never Mind Your Mind,

Which is a body of work,

The basic course and the micro course and other ones.

This is something that I find really,

Really helpful.

Not only for myself,

But the people that I teach,

Right?

So that's what this is about.

Maybe just maybe at times recognizing that.

What I'm experiencing is also what other people experience.

And if I can recognize that,

It means that I.

.

.

Get to lighten the load a little bit.

So when you stay with a good moment.

Like one that's OK,

Let's say,

Just for 15 or 30 seconds.

This can actually move to the long-term emotional memory.

So this is not ignoring what is hard right because i've been saying it's actually about like recognizing this is a normal human experience But what I'm saying as well is it's about.

Recognizing the okayness of other moments.

Because what we do get caught up in is the narrative that comes along.

And at the time it comes along like,

Oh,

I'm not good enough.

We buy into that thought and look at the world from those thoughts and then it does become our reality.

Our brains won't recognize that actually there's a lot of other moments in our day when things have been okay when you've been okay when i've been okay right not amazing just okay a conversation a cup of tea with someone you appreciate a laugh Allowing that to linger intentionally for 10 or 15 seconds actually.

Gently allows this to be spread and the neural templates fire for that this okayness is also true This is also me.

This is also true.

And we can gently start recognizing the.

Automatic conditioning that comes in because of how we've evolved that tells us that I'm not okay.

I can't accept myself because I feel like I'm broken and it couldn't be further from the truth.

Your brain is highly wired,

Highly trained at spotting what is wrong.

Remember this.

Everyone's is.

So this is about just maybe tipping the balance a little bit,

Recognizing,

Hey,

This is the human condition.

And with this,

Here's this moment.

Here was this moment.

Here was this moment.

And you'll find that there are many other moments where.

Without the narrative,

You were actually in a moment where you were accepting of what was.

In your world then and there.

It's only when we hook with a thought and identify with the thought at that time.

That it becomes our reality.

So yeah that's this whole thing about our minds being broken or with faulty thinking,

You know,

Because we're.

Feeling.

Big emotions that there's something wrong it's not that there's anything wrong these are normal human experiences and when we can learn to manage them little more gently then everything changes