So this topic of unconscious contracts,
This topic is something that is near and dear to my heart.
I encourage you as you listen to the call and as we step into the meditation that you allow yourself to just come into a seat,
Shut the eyes down,
Maybe you want to lie down and do your best to not,
If you can,
Look at a screen.
You don't need to to see my face or to see anything that's happening on your telephone or your computer.
You can simply just listen to these words and let them land in the body.
A lot of times the looking at the screens can be very distracting.
I think we all know this at this point in time.
And so just really become soft with yourself,
Close the eyes down,
Let the shoulders relax,
Let the muscles and the face relax.
You can even take some jaw circles and if the body needs a little shake out,
A little stretch,
That's always welcome as well.
The first thing I want to talk about is what are unconscious contracts and how are they hurting you?
How do they hurt us?
An unconscious contract is an insidious vow created by the subconscious mind.
It convinces our conscious mind that it makes sense and it is our truest of truths.
It is a belief that's not only a belief but a knowing,
A deep knowing of something that is inherently wrong or imbalanced about you.
This can come up as a limiting belief.
I am unlovable,
I am unworthy,
I am bad,
I am never chosen,
Everyone will leave.
These beliefs that become such truths that we can feel them in our bones,
That we know them,
That we confuse our fear many times as intuition.
And the danger in this is that our shadow has a deep influence on the subconscious mind and most of us are unaware of the depth of its nature.
What it believes to be of our benefit and protective in nature is generally withholding and sabotaging to our desired realities.
So when the shadow dances with these limiting beliefs and creates these inherent truths that we begin to believe about ourselves,
There is this deceptive nature happening between the many selves of our psychology,
Of our psyche,
That in ways many of us start to distrust ourselves.
There are parts of us at battle essentially.
There are parts of us that believe in our good nature,
That believe that we are worthy,
That believe that we are good,
That believe that we're deserving,
But there are other parts that know that that is absolutely not the truth.
So when we have that polarity existing in the mind and the shadow and the subconscious begin to tether and work into the conscious mind and seek outside themselves what it is that we see so deeply in our shadows,
We begin to see an external world that does not resemble what it is that we desire for ourselves to ease and end our suffering.
And unconscious contracts are likely to have been created in the developmental stages of life,
Meaning that during our childhoods we created these contracts in order to be accepted,
Loved,
Cared for,
And protected by our parents or our peers.
However,
As adults these contracts are generally outdated and dissimilar to our present needs and desires.
In most cases what we needed in order to be accepted,
Loved,
Cared for,
And protected as children were imbalanced,
Restrictive,
And unauthentic to our truest truths.
Meaning that as children in our developmental stages,
And some of these contracts are created at four months old,
Some of these contracts are created by a very young mind set on belonging to a world that is very very foreign to it at a very early stage in life.
So there need be compassion and empathy as adults and in adult consciousness for this child consciousness that very much still lives within the recesses of the mind and that is still holding on to hope and holding on like a life jacket to these contracts that no longer serve us and that are drowning us.
Makes me think of this quote that I heard the other day,
I tried to drown my demons but they learned to swim.
You know and this is the unconscious contract,
It's we are suffering and we are seeing outside of ourselves what it is that we fear so deeply not knowing that a lot of what we bring into our lives is what we project onto the world that we think we deserve.
So without understanding the buried and hidden contracts that live in the deepest recesses of our minds,
We can find ourselves in scarcity and confusion around love,
Money,
Success,
Acceptance,
Sexuality and most importantly self-resourcing and internal guidance.
A big reason for these unconscious contracts that we have created in the developmental stages of childhood is that at that point we actually couldn't care for our needs.
We were completely dependent on either resourced parents or unresourced parents that were imperfectly human.
We were completely dependent at that time but what happens when these unconscious contracts are still hidden and insidious to our adult minds,
To our adult consciousness is that childlike behavior gets projected into the world and it becomes confusing for the adult consciousness within us because that too exists and we wonder why do I self-sabotage,
Why do I do this,
Maybe why am I in scarcity,
Why am I jealous,
Why am I comparing,
Why am I afraid somebody's going to leave,
Why do I attract this man,
Why do I attract this woman and we can come into more and more disorientation as an adult because we say that we want one thing but we constantly receive something else.
So the polarity that then exists between what we say and what we want in our lives and what we come to experience can be incredibly disorienting and disappointing.
When we're unaware of the inaccessible power behind these contracts we can feel hopeless,
Exhausted and distrusting of our internal compass and choices.
So you can think of this as almost a dissolution of the most intimate relationship between the higher self and the lower self and lower not in hierarchy but the lower in its juvenile beliefs of what is true and what is able.
So it's almost as if as we get older we can become bitter or we can become better but that we start to distrust ourselves and there becomes a gap in the mind,
There becomes a gap of not really believing what we're capable of,
Not believing what is possible because once we see ourselves go through these loops,
Go through traumatic loops and toxic loops and find ourselves falling to the power of these unconscious contracts without knowing that they even exist,
We begin to believe that we are incapable and that we won't be able to get what it is that we want out of life and these unconscious contracts begin in a way to win,
To win over our energy.
But almost in just hearing that they exist something can unlock in the mind.
So I encourage you now in these moments as you sit here in your body and you close your eyes down and you listen to your breath and you tune into your heartbeat when you hear these words that I too I have unconscious contracts what could they be?
The first thing to contemplate is a truth that you believe about yourself that is limiting in nature.
So sit here in stillness and in silence and let it be known to the conscious mind,
Let it be known the inherent truth,
The belief that is limiting in nature that you know brings you great suffering but that you feel is inherently true.
Let that belief surface here for a moment.
For me and I give an example because this has been so true of my entire existence for decades of living in this human experience as an echo,
There has been that belief that they will always leave,
They will always leave,
I will forever be unchosen and unworthy and unlovable and this truth for so many of us this truth of abandonment of not feeling chosen it is so real it is so visceral so I really encourage you to tune in if that feels real for you because when we feel that that is real we project onto the world what it is that we believe is true for us and out of eight billion people in the world it is not true that they will always leave and that we will not be chosen we are chosen every day there are people that stay every day so tuning into your wound what is that wound that when it gets scratched is so painful for some of us it could be I will never have more than my parents I will never be abundant I will always stay in scarcity because I cannot and will not have more money more success more abundance than my mother had or my father had I will not do that in order to stay connected to my mother or stay connected to my father I cannot have more I will not have the deep love that I want so deeply because or in order to stay in connection to my sister or my brother who has less than or my mother or my father I will not have more love in order to stay connected to them there are so many wounds these two may not touch you you you have to feel into what is that wound that you have and saying it out loud in the mind as a vow like I myself echo Giselle Widmer I vow I vow to believe and to know that they will always leave and I will not be chosen and I am unlovable and I keep this vow in order to stay connected to my mother who was never loved and always left I will not have more than her I cannot have more than my mother because to do so would disconnect me from her I will keep this vow to stay in connection to her so whatever your wound may be you touch in upon what makes sense about that wound you know a belief that to you feels so utterly and completely true and deeply immobilizing again once you are honest with yourself about this difficult truth you can say aloud in the mind I am will not cannot and you're limiting belief or judgment about yourself and I will not step into believing dot dot dot dot about myself in order to dot dot dot as we sit in that somatic felt contemplation with this belief and why it makes sense do not judge it but understand its root why is it true why did it have to be true at some point in developmental stages in order to help you feel a part of something to feel accepted to feel seen we don't focus on the pain it's causing but we focus on why it makes sense feel in your body why you would believe this and when you began to believe this and how has it served you in some way protected you kept you a part of something kept you in check or guided you the task is to know the pureness of its reality and why it exists what is its purpose how has it kept you connected to your mother your father your primary caretaker maybe your grandmother or your grandfather or your family or your race or your religion or your gender there are so many possibilities of unconscious contracts beneath the surface you know the step towards integration is discovering these contracts and the next step is empathetic and compassionate inquiry patience and mental diligence and shifting the narrative when we've been speaking these stories into existence our entire lives even when going through one session of sitting with an unconscious contract we may say to ourselves no maybe for other people it's not true but for me it is true and you are not unique in believing that we all do this no everyone else is lovable but it's true i am not lovable everyone else is abundant it is true i will never be abundant this negative self-talk that comes from these unconscious contracts within the deep recesses of our minds turns us into the monsters beneath our own beds and just like i said before we try to drown our demons but they learn to swim so we are our worst enemies when we are not in touch with these unconscious contracts and the subconscious because when we believe that we are unlovable or that we will be abandoned or that we do not matter or that we are bad we imprint that onto the world around us we vibrate at a frequency that says this is what i am and this is what i am not this is what i believe i deserve and this is what i believe i do not deserve and we attract that towards us so really sitting in this space softly eyes shut spine long breath moving in and out of the nostrils we don't rid ourselves of these contracts in one moment in one day until we do until in one moment in one breath cycle the choice is never again but first is touching the unconscious contracts in the minds and noticing how your body feels for some of us the heart might start to beat faster for some of us we might numb our body might freeze in touching this and it might go this is too much i can't i can't touch upon this this is a place that's untouchable within me or i can't be with the amount of energy that this brings up and when that feeling comes up of panic or numbness this is a good thing because it is letting you know that you are still alive and that part of you that insidious subconscious shadowy part that wants to live on so deeply is scared it is trembling in your body and it is saying you've touched something you've touched something and it's dangerous for you to touch this part because the shadow the subconscious says oh no if you touch this part i might die part of the ego may begin to dissolve so if that feeling comes up that uncomfortable feeling comes up breathe continue to breathe slowly sit in the discomfort let the heart beat fast let the body slowly thaw out if it is frozen and the higher self within the adult consciousness can whisper in the recess of the mind it's okay we will move slowly it is okay we will move slowly i will move slowly i will move slowly and kind of like an adult that pachamama that maternal figure walking slowly towards the scared child we don't run towards it for an embrace we take a step over time letting that part of us that fears so deeply getting what it is that we want more than anything in the world whether it's love to be chosen to be seen to be good to be big to be abundant that part in us that's serving us and saving us in a way says no no but if we have that thing what if we lose it what if it does go away that very juvenile young part is protecting us because it fears that if we were to get the thing that we wanted so deeply if our suffering were to stop that we would feel the suffering again if we lost it again so it says no we will not do this again so it's up to us in our adult consciousness to soothe the mind internally and say it's okay we will move slowly when we come here when we choose to sit in this type of contemplation touching upon these very scared young juvenile parts it's important that we don't judge them and say hey you're causing pain but we kneel down to these young parts in the dark corridors of our mind and we say hey you don't have to go anywhere but is there something more pleasant that you can do with your time is there a new position a new job a new role for you in my mind if you weren't protecting me if you weren't binding us to this contract what else would you like to do if you weren't scared of being left if you weren't afraid of being big if you weren't afraid of being abundant and protecting us what other role could you play this takes time it can take years it can take days it could take weeks as well maybe it could take one moment but again and again we step into the deeper recesses of the mind and we ask what are you so afraid of what are you so scared of what other role could you play if you weren't protecting me and carrying out these unconscious contracts and what would be possible for me to believe about myself my many selves if i were no longer bound to this unconscious contract so in the mind i encourage you to repeat what i say if it feels alive and true for you and if it doesn't feel true try it on see if that uncomfortable feeling comes up in the mind and you know that this is a belief for you to work with if it doesn't feel true to you there is something there hidden in the shadow or the subconscious maybe you even say it aloud outside the body hear it know what it feels like as it rings in the ears true or untrue i am good i am good i am good let the body tell you what you need to be told i am worthy i am worthy and deserving i am worthy and deserving i am lovable i am lovable and i am loved i am lovable and i am loved notice how the body responds i am safe in my body and in this world i am safe in my body and in this world i am abundant and have all that i need i am abundant and have all that i need i am abundant and have all that i need i am love i am love i am love these are just a few it's important for you to contemplate what are the words that you wished that your mother your father your caretaker said to you as a child what was it that you always craved and that you weren't told so you began to create stories in your mind to protect yourselves from not being able to hear that truth that you desired so deeply can you say it to yourself now and how does your body respond this is how we begin to work with the unconscious contracts of the mind this is how we begin to dance with the shadow in grace this is how we begin to dislodge the stories that are no longer serving us the beliefs that are no longer serving us take a hold of opposite forearms in front of the body just holding and embracing yourself take a deep breath in deep sigh out this is deep deep deep work and it doesn't happen overnight there are systems that we have set into place in the deep psyche of ourselves but slowly slowly if we take the time to show up each day and ask questions if we give opportunities for new roles in the mind slowly we can begin to unbind these vows that we have taken with our subconscious bring the hands to heart center bowing head to heart may we each find grace and courage and resilience on the path to uncovering our unconscious contracts may we learn to dance with our shadows in a graceful way may we become partners and collaborators with all parts of the psyche so that we may live in deeper integration peacefulness contentedness and ease the suffering from ourselves and learn to self-soothe and resource
