Tame Your Inner Critic

We all have an inner critic. That internal narrative that drags us down and tells us we're not good enough. Join me in this practice that offers the time and space to acknowledge our self-critical thoughts and feelings while ensuring they are not the dominant voice. With time, practice, and kindness, we can tame our inner critic. With love.

Music is Ancient Wind.

Transcript

This is a meditation in which we explore taming our inner critic. You have heard sayings, I'm my own worst enemy, And I'm sure that you're aware that for most of us we speak to ourselves and judge ourselves in ways that we wouldn't dream of speaking to somebody else. I suppose as we get older and we start thinking about making our experience and our lives a little bit easier, One of the things that's useful to explore is this idea of inner criticism, Negative self-talk. So make yourself comfortable, It really doesn't matter what position you're in for this practice, As long as you're comfortable and somewhere you won't be disturbed for a little while. And we begin, As you know, By focusing on the breath and just noticing the physical sensation of breathing in and then breathing out as far as possible, Arriving, Settling, Noticing when your attention wanders and gently bringing it back to the sensations in the body or to the breath. For some of you, Just settling into a meditation practice is enough to bring self-judgement to mind, Thinking I'm not very good at this or I should do this more often, But we're not going there today, You're here, We're all here, And we all do the best that we can. So really just taking this first section of the practice to identify an area in which you feel lacking and just acknowledge how you think about yourself and how that feels physically, And it's not always easy, It's uncomfortable. So for this brief time we're spending together today, I'd like you to reflect on somewhere in life that you do judge yourself as being lacking, Not good enough. It might be a role you have as a parent, As an employee, As a partner, As a friend. Notice first how judgement is more than a single thought, It also affects the body. So when you start to think and bring to mind an area in which you judge yourself as being not good enough, Quite possibly you'll feel some tension or tightness in the body, And all this feeds into an emotional state. Thinking about the area where you feel like you're not good enough, Just notice if that makes you physically feel anything, Perhaps a funny tummy, A clenched gut, Perhaps your hands stiffen a bit. Next noticing where your mind goes when you're experiencing self-criticism and the patterns you fall into. And in the next part of the practice we're going to explore unnoting the voice of judgement, The inner critic, Not wrestling with it, Trying to push it away, Or allowing your mind to run away with it. Just recognise it and in a sense let it be. So let's try this, And on each in-breath acknowledging what you're experiencing in your body, Your emotions and your thoughts, Saying to yourself, I think this, And I feel this. And then on each out-breath offering yourself some relief and some support, So if you heard a close friend say in relation to myself as a mother or a colleague or a partner, I think this and I feel this, Wishing yourself what you would wish that close friend who had the same self-doubt. So breathing in, Acknowledging, I know I feel rubbish about myself in relation to this thing, And breathing out, Offering yourself a hand, Just letting go a bit as you would encourage a close friend. Perhaps on the out-breath wishing yourself love, Comfort, Relief, Humour, Anything that feels appropriate, And just sitting and exploring this for a few moments by yourself, Accepting the way that you think and feel, But also accepting that you can soften around that and you can offer yourself kindness and grace, Because you deserve it as much as anyone else. And this is a really useful practice, When you're in the moment, So when you notice in your day-to-day that your mind is running away with self-criticism, I'm not good enough, I'm a failure, I'm always messing up, Perhaps cultivating a practice where you just pause for a moment and think, Yes, I think this way about myself in relation to this issue, And oh, It's making my jaw clench, Or my hands tense, Or my tummy feel funny, But it is what it is, And I still deserve to be kind to myself, And the more we can do that over time and with practice, It just makes the experience easier, So we're not pushing the inner critic away or seeking to silence it, We're just saying, Look, Come along, We're all in this together, But yours won't be the dominant voice, So when you're ready, Coming to the space around you, Noticing any sight, Smells, Sounds, And thank you so much for practicing with me today.