Life Is Just Shifting Sand | Stop Making It About ‘Me’

We often believe events in our lives are “good” or “bad,” only to realize later that we were wrong. What seemed like good fortune brings unexpected stress, and what felt like tragedy reveals hidden blessings.

In this talk, we explore the Buddhist teaching of not imputing meaning where none exists. Like shifting sands in the desert, life’s conditions are always changing — impermanent, impersonal, and beyond our control. Yet, when we label every event as “good for me” or “bad for me,” we suffer.

Instead of resisting change or clinging to appearances, we can rest in the truth of impermanence and live more freely, with gratitude and presence.

Transcript

I know that we have all had this experience before, Where we had something really good happen in our lives, Something really exciting, And we had some event happen that was very exciting, And we impute that it was a really, Really good thing. And then later we realized that it wasn't really as good a thing as we thought it was. In fact, It maybe brought in a lot of unnecessary stress, A lot of unnecessary worry, And a lot of unnecessary pain. And we've also had experiences, Events in our lives, Where we've, In our pain, Maybe something that was very unpleasant, We labeled it as something, This is the worst thing ever, This is the most terrible thing ever to have happened to us. And yet, We'll look back on it later in our lives and we'll go, You know, That was the best thing that ever happened to me. And so while we have these revelations a lot of what I imputed was good actually turned out to be not so good, Or what I imputed as bad actually turned out to be not so bad, While we have these revelations and this understanding, We still have this habit, This compulsion to keep going back and imputing good and bad on different events. And the imputing of good and bad also imputing hope and fear on all these different events, And with it, Taking our emotions with it, You know, Kind of going on this cycle of hope and fear and hope and fear, And just kind of getting tossed around in this whirlpool of us imputing meaning where there is none. So one of my favorite stories, Which probably most of you know, But it's such a good one to explain this, Is the story about the poor Chinese farmer. So this farmer, One day, One of his horses, Sorry, His only horse goes missing. And this is the horse he used to plow the fields with and really helped him to take care of the farm. And all of his neighbors hear about this, They hear that the horse is gone, And they come over, And they're all lamenting how tragic this is, And how awful this news is, And what bad luck, This is such a bad omen. And the farmer's just very noncommittal, He said, Well, We'll see. And then a few days later, The horse comes back, And with him comes this beautiful, Magnificent stallion. And all the neighbors hear about this, And they come rushing over, And they're like, This is amazing news, This is such good luck, This is such a good sign that the horse came back with this other horse, This is amazing good fortune for you. And again, The farmer just says, Well, We'll see. So a few days later, His son is trying to break in the stallion, So he's riding the stallion, And he gets thrown off the stallion, And he breaks his leg. And all the neighbors hear about this, And they all come rushing over, Oh my god, This is such terrible news, That horse brought such bad luck to you, This is so awful, What will become of you, This is the worst thing ever. Again, The farmer just says, Well, We'll see. So a few weeks later, The Chinese army is coming through the village, And they're conscripting all of the young able-bodied men to go fight in the war. Because his son has his leg broken, He can't go. And all the villagers, His neighbors hear about this, They come rushing over, What good news, That horse was actually a good omen, It was such a good sign. And on and on and on this goes, Just changing causes and conditions, And people imputing meaning onto it, Where there is no meaning. And this is what the farmer knew, He was in tune with the nature of reality, That every moment, Every moment is simply the arising of trillions of different causes and conditions. It's an appearance that's appearing in one moment, It doesn't last, It's impermanent and it's impersonal. So imputing meaning on this would make no sense. And yet, We do the exact opposite. We see everything as having meaning. Because we see ourselves as this independent, Solid, Lasting, Separate entity, We see ourselves as the center of the universe. And therefore, We make everything about us. When we're stuck in a traffic jam, Right? Instead of just the recognition that, Ah, These are the conditions coming together, It's not just me stuck in the traffic jam. Look at all the people around me stuck in the traffic jam. We lament, And this is the worst thing that's ever happened. And why do all these bad things always happen to me? And life is such a tragedy. We impute all this meaning on a traffic jam. Or we're sitting around and we're where there's just the conditions are arising that nothing's happening. And we think, Oh, I'm bored. My life has no meaning. My life's so, So terrible. My life's so awful. Everyone else is having these joyful, Filled moments, But there's nothing going on here. And we impute all this meaning where there is none. Because through this lens of me as the center of the universe, What we're doing is we're tainting the lens, Right? We're skewing everything, Seeing everything through a lens of fear and hope. Is this good for me? Is this bad for me? What does this mean for me? Right? We're constantly imputing me into me, The meaning with me in it, Making it personal when it has nothing to do with me. Even when, Like conventionally speaking, Or we could look at something and go like, Wow, Objectively, This situation has nothing to do with me. When someone tells you that they just got a bonus, Or they just got a pay raise, Or they just got this amazing new job, And it comes with this company car, And it comes with a three-week trip to Hawaii every year, And this big salary, Or whatever it is, Right? Something that clearly has nothing to do with us. We make it about me. Oh, I didn't get a new bonus. I didn't get a new job. I didn't get a pay raise. Oh, This sucks for me. It has nothing to do with us. And yet we make it about me. And in situations where it does feel, I will give you, It feels more personal. Right? You've got your dear friend is moving across the country. Your child is moving to another country. And it feels more personal. And we immediately make it all about me. We give it all the meaning. Oh, What does this mean for me? My life's going to be terrible from now on. This shouldn't be happening. And because we impute meaning where there is no meaning, Because we make it about me, We suffer. We're trying to hold on to something that is changing. We're grasping, We're attached, We won't let go. And because we do that, Because we make it about me, We suffer. The event isn't causing the suffering. It's that I made it about me. That is what is causing the suffering. And yet it's no different than if you were to go to the Sahara. And for miles, All you can see in every direction is sand, Just hills and valleys and mounds of sand. You can see the sand kind of, The wind moving it along, Making new shapes, New mounds, New hills, New valleys, Right? You can see all this happening, Right? And you would look at it and you would say, It's just all change. It's just impersonal. It's simply impersonal change. But then we replace the sand. We replace the sand with, But it's my life. It's my friends. It's my family. It's my job. It's my income. It's my things. It's my house. It's my safety. It's my security. It's my pain. It's my suffering. And now we make it all about me again. We're back to, I'm the center of the universe and we suffer. And yet there is no difference, No difference between the shifting sands on the Sahara and our lives, In everyone's lives, Because it is simply still trillions, Trillions, Trillions, Trillions, More zeros than I could possibly even fathom of different conditions arising and changing moment by moment by moment. It is all impersonal. And this should be good news because what a relief. I mean, Think of all the stress, The anxiety that we are constantly, These mental gymnastics where we're constantly trying to figure out, Is this good for me? Is this bad for me? What does this mean over here? Oh, I've got new information. I've got to recalculate now. Was that good? Was that bad? It was good a few minutes ago, But now it's bad for me. I mean, If we looked at this programming that we have here and we put it in, Say, A robot, Right? And we see the robot following out the bad programming going, Good, Good, Good, Bad, Bad, Bad, Good, Bad, Good, Bad, Good, Bad, Good, Bad, Good, Bad. We would think, Wow, That's crazy programming. Because we could see it's just constantly living in the scope of fear and hope and fear and hope and fear and hope. But it's always just changing. It's always just changing. It's just sand shifting. Conditions just changing. Appearances happening and changing. Impersonal. Nothing to do with me. But that's the program that we're running on. And even when we think to ourselves, Well, But what about those intimate moments when I'm really, I'm there with my friends and I'm laughing and we're sharing something really, Really personal, Or you're at your wedding, You're at someone else's wedding, You're having, Giving birth to a child, Your grandchild, You're at some big event, Some exciting event. And you think, Well, Surely I should put meaning in this. Like, Surely there is meaning here. But the moment that we add meaning, We add me. It becomes all about me. The moment we do it, This is amazing for me. This is great for me. This is good for me. The moment we do that, We're no longer there. We're lost in the fantasy. We're up in, We're separate from the event. We're separate from the people that we were just feeling this sense of connection with a moment ago. Now we're feeling the opposite. We're feeling separation. We're feeling distance. We're feeling stress. We're feeling attachment. We're feeling grasping. I'm trying to hold on to this in some way. So in fact, By trying to add the meaning, We take the meaning out of it. And even in the unpleasant events, Which of course we all, We have pleasant events, We have neutral events, And we have unpleasant events, Everyone experiences this. The causes and conditions that come, That are coming into being in a particular moment, Right? And it might be that there's this that, Okay, It is your friend that's moving across the country, Or your child, Or you were fired, Or you're sick, Right? And there's such a temptation to make this personal, To make it about me. This is a bad thing. This is a bad thing for me. And instead of recognizing this isn't personal, It's just, These are the conditions that are coming together. And instead of healing, Instead of bringing mindfulness and self-compassion and kindness and feeling what it is that's here, Right? Of allowing ourselves to move skillfully through these shifting conditions, We put meaning into it. This is bad. This shouldn't be happening. We get lost in the story and we suffer. And we suffer because of it. And even in those events, And of course, Everyone experiences all sorts of events in life. And there are some really tragic events that people do experience, But we have to be so careful to not put meaning in it, To not put me into it, To make sure that we come to the healing and not the resisting of it, Because we can really wrap ourselves up in our suffering. And people do this. They'll wrap themselves up in their suffering for years, For decades, Losing all the intimacy, Losing the connection, Losing the love, Losing the joy that is available here in life if we go through the healing. But if we don't, If we put the meaning in it, If we make it personal, Then we stay trapped in our suffering. None of this is personal. It's all impersonal. Every single one of us on this planet has pleasant conditions and unpleasant conditions. It's always changing, Always changing. Nobody escapes this. Nobody gets through this without getting a little bit skinned somewhere. And right now in the world, Right now, There are hundreds of thousands of people that are on the receiving end of some act of kindness. A stranger paying the grocery bill, Someone leaving a big tip for someone who clearly needs it, Right? Someone helping out someone, Right? Right now, There's hundreds of thousands of people that are experiencing great kindness. And there's hundreds of thousands, Millions of people that are also feeling excluded right now, That were excluded from something or someone was unkind to them, Right? And there's new friendships that are forming, The excitement of new friendships that are forming. And there's the sadness of friendships that are dissolving, Right? There's the excitement of getting ready for a new date with someone that you're thinking might be the love of your life. And on the other side, There's also other people that are getting ready to go through a breakup, Or that they've just been dumped. There's millions of people that have just been told the cancer treatments worked, The cancer's gone. And then there's millions that are told it didn't work, Or you're getting the diagnosis for the first time. Millions of families that are rejoicing at the birth of a new baby into the family, And millions of families that are feeling the loss, The pain from someone dying in the family. And yet, These are all just shifting conditions. None of it is personal. When we try and make that which is impersonal, Personal, We always suffer. We give all the meaning to everything, And we do this to our detriment. If someone's being unkind to us in one moment, It's just sand shifting. Someone's being kind to us, It's just sand shifting. If we're having a stressful moment, Things are speeding up, We've got to hurry, We're going to miss the train, Right? Just sand shifting. Nothing going on in this moment, Just sand shifting. We remember an embarrassing thing that we did, Just sand shifting. We just came off of a big talk giving a great presentation, Sand shifting. We just came off of a talk and we did a terrible job, Just sand shifting. It's all just sand shifting. The more that we realize this, The more that we lose that temptation to make it about us. And when we don't put the meaning in it, When we don't impute something that isn't there, What we find is more joy, More connection, More love, More flow, More meaning. Right? And so I'm not going to deny that there are some conditions that are more pleasant than other conditions. Sure, The praise feels better than the criticism, I wouldn't deny that. But even in that, The moment I put meaning in the praise, Oh, I did such a good job. They saw me do that, Right? I'm putting meaning in it. I'm so good. This is so good for me. The moment I do that, I create a sense of separation, Of lack. And in fact, What I'm doing now is now I need more praise, Right? Because if I'm, Oh, I'm feeling really good, This is a good thing for me. What I'm saying is I need more praise. So I'm putting myself in a state of lack. And even in the criticism, Yes, The criticism doesn't feel good. Nobody loves the criticism. We don't sign up for it, But we all get it. We all get it. And when we don't put the me in there, We don't put the meaning of, Oh, I'm such a loser. I'm so terrible. I'm so hopeless. Right? Instead, If we come to the healing, And that was tough, Wasn't your best moment back there. Yeah. Okay. A little self compassion. It's just shifting sand. It is impersonal. Right now, Millions of people are being praised. Millions of people are being criticized. Why would we expect that we would get one side of the ledger and not the other? Or even we could argue, Well, Oh, A massage feels much better than a broken leg. Of course, I'm not going to deny that. But the moment that we're in the massage, And it starts feeling really good, Right? And then the mind starts going about, Oh, The meaning of this. This is so amazing. I feel so good. This feels so great. I should be doing this every week. And then I'm going to feel even better. This is such a good thing for me. We're no longer there enjoying the massage. We're lost. We're in the fantasy again. And if we have the broken leg, Right? And we're not relating to the broken leg as the worst tragedy in the world. And now what does this mean for me? And now all the things I'm not going to be able to do. We simply see, Oh, Life's taking a new direction. So instead of being in our misery when we're in the hospital, When our friends come to see us, Or we have a particularly kind nurse, We go, Wow, That was a really amazing moment. We're open. We're there for it. Life didn't stop happening. It just took a different direction. Let's see. Let's see what happens. So all of this is impersonal. There is nothing personal. If someone is rude to us, If someone lied to us, Someone stole from us, It's all impersonal. It's just conditions coming together and changing and changing and changing. It's not personal. It may suck, But we don't need to suffer. This is where we bring healing. This is where we bring mindfulness. This is where we bring self-compassion. Because this is the reality of the world that we live in. Sometimes we win. Sometimes we lose. Sometimes we feel comfort. Sometimes we feel discomfort. Sometimes we get praised. Sometimes we get criticized. It is the reality of the world that we live in. Do we want to fight this? Or do we want to start flowing in the reality and make it easier on ourselves, Be kinder to ourselves? So we have to notice this temptation, This habit, This program that we have to keep imputing meaning, To keep imputing ourselves where nothing exists, Where no meaning exists. So to keep remembering this when something's happening. And we start with the little things, Right? Or we start with whatever it is that's here, Right? We can suffer, Or we can start to look at this more skillfully, More wisely, With more compassion, Right? And we can remember, Okay, This is just shifting sand. It feels so personal. It feels like, Oh my God, I was the one that really messed that up. But this is just shifting sand. And the more that we can do that, The more that we notice, Wow, What changed when I did that? Wow. In that kindness, In that mindfulness, In that self-compassion, In that awareness, Right? I felt more joy. I felt more connection. I felt more at ease. Life was better. Because when we make things about us, Whether it's a pleasant experience or an unpleasant experience, When we make it about me, We put meaning on things that aren't there, It didn't bring us connection. It didn't bring us joy. It didn't bring us love. It brought us suffering. It brought us separation. It brought us a sense of lack. This is all just shifting sand. We've got to stop putting meaning where it doesn't exist. It's not bringing us what we think. And in fact, Even again, Where we think that, Oh, It's making our lives more enjoyable, It's doing just the opposite. And the more that we see this, We feel more meaning. We feel more connection, No matter what we're doing. We're drinking a cup of tea. We're on our own. We're out with a friend. We're at a party. We're celebrating. We're there for it. We are there for it. We're in the moment. We're feeling the aliveness of the moment. We're feeling the compassion. We're feeling the joy. We're feeling the thrill, Whatever it is. So we don't make our lives more meaningful by adding meaning to it, But is in fact by taking meaning out of it, By taking us out of it, And recognizing the reality, Contemplating this, Right? These are what the teachings are telling us. Contemplate. Everything is impermanent, Changing. Everything is interconnected, Interdependent. Nothing stays the same, And there is no inherent independent self. There is nothing solid, Lasting, Independent, Separate here that is experiencing this. That is simply another trick, An illusion of the mind. And so to keep seeing that, To keep questioning it again and again, To bring in the healing, To bring in the mindfulness and self-compassion, And when you're meditating, To contemplate impermanence, Interconnectedness, Interdependence, The me that's giving it meaning, Right? To contemplate that. Who is it that's giving this meaning? Bringing in the direct inquiry, The self-inquiry. Who is it that's giving this meaning? We're so believing there's a me that's giving this meaning, Let's put a spotlight on it and see. Is it real? It's so tempting to do this. I know it's so tempting. And it's so programmed into everyone to do this. Everyone's running around imputing meaning where none exists. And that does make it a little bit challenging, Right? Because I wouldn't probably say this to someone who's freaking out in this moment, Going, There's no meaning in this. It's impersonal, Right? Bring compassion to those situations. Meet that person where they are, Right? So this is for you to work within your own experience, In your own life, In the privacy of your own mind. Not to try and enforce it with others, Right? We always want to bring compassion there. But to keep checking this for yourself. Whether it's just seeing, Wow, I was wrong. I thought that was good. And then it turned out to be something really good. Or sorry, I thought something was good, It turned out to be really bad. Or I thought something was bad, It turned out to be really good. But also just to see, Especially on those little things. You know, Just a little, You tripped on the street. Ah, Just shifting sand. Oh, When I see it that way, You let go. Do you feel back a sense of connection with life? Do you feel a sense of joy of ease? Yeah, I just, I tripped and fell, Just changing conditions, Nothing personal, Nothing personal. Every time we put meaning in something, We put me in it. Every time we put me in it, I'm the center of the universe. It's all about me. Guaranteed suffering. Guaranteed suffering, Without a doubt. You take the meaning out, You take the me out, And you find that life has a much greater ease and flow to it. Because now you are flowing with the nature of reality. You're not fighting the conditions. You're not grasping at the pleasant conditions, Pushing back on the unpleasant conditions. You're not putting, Making it bigger than it is. It's just this is, These are the, Sands are shifting in this way right now. Let's see. Let's see. And bring the right skillful response to what it is that's happening. When the thrill is there, And the joy is there, And the praise, Like enjoy it, Let it move through you. Don't get attached to it. Don't make anything out of it. Right? And when the difficult conditions are there, And something's unpleasant, You're experiencing some pain, You're experiencing some loss, Bring some healing, Bring compassion. But don't fight it, Don't bring resistance, Because the resistance, The pain plus the resistance is the suffering. Right? It's not saying that we don't have painful moments. We do. Of course we do. But we don't have to bring in the suffering. That's optional. Okay? So, Yeah, Try to resist the temptation to bring meaning into things. Don't bring the me into it. It's not bringing you meaning. It's not bringing you the meaning that you think. It's not bringing you the meaning that you want. It's just disconnecting us from the flow. It's disconnecting us from reality. And we want to flow in reality. We want to feel the joy. We want to feel the connection. We want to feel, We want to feel it all. We want to feel it all. Don't fight it. So we can take this wisdom from the poor Chinese farmer, And just as things are happening, What appears to be good, Don't get fooled by the appearance. Appearance. Let's see. We'll see. Right? When something, When the appearance and everyone saying this is so bad, Go, Well, We'll see. We'll see. Keep your eyes open. Keep your heart open. Right? It's just, It's just this continuation. Turn, The pages are still turning. Don't get trapped. Don't get trapped in it. Okay? So I hope that made sense to everyone. I hope we can apply more of this. Yes. Oh, Glory. Yes. Sand shifting. Oh, Michelle, I'm so glad. I'm so glad that this was helpful. Yeah. And so, Alice, And I'll go back. I know I saw there were a lot of comments happening there. When the good conditions are there, You're saying like, What words or phrase can you say to yourself in that moment to enjoy it, But not get attached? Gratitude. Thank you. Thank you. Just put your hands together. Thank you. Not thank you, Universe. Not thanking anything. Don't turn this into something. Just thank you. Thank you. This feels good. Yay. The ride's going in a good direction. Right? Put your hands up. Yay. You know, Yeah. You know, Make, Don't, Don't get too, Don't take it too seriously. Enjoy it. But I do find just put your hands together. Thank you. Thank you. This is nice. It's not going to last. And the more that I recognize it's not going to last, That tendency to grasp immediately goes away. It's just, Yeah, It's okay. This is good. And it actually tends to last longer because of course the gratitude then kind of keeps that going. These good conditions, Like you're with someone, You're sharing a moment and it feels wonderful. And instead of thinking, How can I recreate this moment to make it always be like this? You just think, I'm so grateful. I'm just grateful. Right? And it just keeps your heart open. It just keeps it, You know, And this is what we are trying to do is to keep the heart open, Not close the heart, Which is when we're pushing back, When we're judging things, You know, When we're resisting things, Right? But to keep it open. Yeah, This feels good. This feels good. And thank you, Gloria. Thank you, Julie. Thank you so much. Thank you. Yeah, Michelle, A gratitude is just such a wonderful way to avoid attachment. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I know. Oh, And thank you, Robert. And I know I saw you in the chat going back and forth. Forth. And I think you were helping Emily. I try not to look too much in the chat when I'm giving the talk. But I could see and I think you were helping her with some things. So thank you. Oh, And Michelle, Thank you. Thank you for the donation. Yes, Summed up beautifully, Robert, Don't cling to things. Don't cling. Just, You know, Savor the good and accept the unpleasant, Right? It is part of it. If we every day, If every single day I went to I, I open my computer, And all I receive is just 100 emails of people praising me, Wow, Right? The first few days, It would feel pretty good, Right? You'd be like, This is amazing. And then after that, I would just open up and go, Oh, Yeah, Yeah, 100 emails of praising me, Of course, Of course, Right? It wouldn't, It wouldn't feel good anymore. Right? It wouldn't have any meaning. If every day I wake up and I find $100 under my pillow, Like the first few days, It would feel good. And then after that, It'd be like, Yeah, It's just Oh, There's my $100. Of course, I'm entitled to it. Now I expect it. Right? I would have a fit that if it's not there, Right? If we don't have this contrast, There's nothing to experience. We've got to be clear about this. This is how we experience the world. If the whole world were the same color, We couldn't see anything. Right? If everything had the same texture, If everything had the same smell, The same taste, The same sound, There would be nothing to experience. Right? We do this, We wait and it's like, I imagine, We wait in this long line, Right to, You know, We're at the amusement park, And we're waiting in the long line for the roller coaster. Because we see the roller coaster is going up and down and around. And it looks thrilling and exciting. And we see the fear and we see all sorts of emotions that people are going through. And we're like, I want that. I want to experience that. And then we get up there and we get in the roller coaster, We get we get in the cart. And it just ever so slowly starts chugging along. And it doesn't do anything really. But just all of a sudden, The whole ride just flattens out. We'd be bored out of our minds, Get me off this ride. This isn't the ride I wanted. I wanted to experience something here. I wanted to feel things. I wanted to know things. I wanted to feel joy. I wanted to feel sadness, Right? Why do you think? Why do you think we read books that can have a lot of sadness, And then we see movies that can have a lot of sadness in them? We read books or we watch movies where we see the lead character going through all these trials and tribulations. We don't want to see them just getting everything they wanted. We want to see, Oh, Look, The romantic comedy, They almost got each other. Oh, They had that argument. Oh, I wonder if they'll come back together. Right? We want to see this. This is how we experience the world. This is how we experience it. But we don't see, When it comes to us, When it comes to me, Right, We see ourselves as the center of the universe, As this independent, Separate being, This long-lasting being. And the more that we see it like that, The more we think I should get the praise, I should get the gain, I should get the comfort, I should get all the good conditions, And I should never experience the other side of it. And then we set ourselves up for suffering. And this is what the endless suffering is about. Doesn't mean we don't experience pain. It doesn't mean sadness is there. Sadness, Within sadness, Within grief, Right, When we're able to be with our grief, When we're able to be with our sadness, To really feel the loss, Not make it about me, What does this mean for me, How will I go on, But to be. So it's not my grief, But we feel it, We embody it, We open to it. There is such compassion and kindness, Right? We're opening up so much more by being with it. We are feeling something. It's so real, It's so raw. But the moment it becomes my grief, The moment it's mine, It changes it. And now I'm suffering, And I can't stand this, I shouldn't be experiencing this, And my fear of how am I going to experience this in the next moment, Because I won't even let myself feel it in this moment. It becomes too insurmountable for me. But we want to feel these things. We want to feel. This isn't about turning into robots and not feeling. I think a life without feeling, If you can't truly feel sadness, Then you can't truly feel joy. You can't have one without the other. If you are shutting down any part of you is really shutting down all of your emotions, Everything becomes muted. And you wouldn't want that. You wouldn't want it. Yeah. Oh, Thank you, Michelle. Thanks. Yeah, And Robert, I agree. It's having few, Lowering our expectations. Stop. Because our expectations are imputations. I'm imputing how I think I'm going to feel. And the more excited I am about something, Then I can really imagine it in my head as something like, Oh my God, This is going to be amazing. Like in my head, There's no limitations of how amazing I could make this be. Right? And then we get there. And of course, The material world can't match up to what I imagined in my head can't match up. And so now I'm disappointed, Something that was going to be good. If you can't enjoy where you are now, Do not bother making any plans. Don't bother. You will never enjoy what you get to because the more that you live in the world of expectations of future me happiness, All that happens when you get to that event is you move the mark, Because that's what you're training your mind. That's the program that keeps running. If you cannot enjoy this moment, Do not bother making any plans. But isn't that what we endlessly do? If I could just get over there, Then I'll be happy. And then we get over there. For a moment, There's a sense of relief because I got there for a moment. For a moment. And not so much because of where we got to, But because the chasing went away for a moment. The me that was going to get there went away and all the contraction and the stress and the anxiety that goes along with it went away for a few moments. But then it just starts right back up. Oh, No, Actually, Now I want to be over there. And go running over there. And just endlessly running and running and running thinking, I just, I didn't make the right plans. Now I've got to just make different plans. If you cannot be happy in this moment, Do not bother making any plans. You will never find it. You will never find it. Yeah, So Michelle, Yeah, Avoid attachment to outcomes. Because that is really dovetailing so much into what we're talking about. Like we impute meaning into what we think the outcome is going to be. We don't know. And it's always changing. Whatever is appearing, That unpleasant condition that's appearing is just shifting sand. So whatever that outcome is, That moment, It's a moment in time. It's not like a final end of the book chapter done, Right? It's a moment in time and it's still just more shifting sand. We never really know. We always think there's somewhere to get to, Somewhere I can put my flag in here and then just be done. But that's not the reality of the world we live in. It is just constantly shifting sand. We are shifting sand, Right? Yes, Different material of sand, But still carbon, Right? That's arising with sentience, Right? With sentience, Of course, That is a little different than the sand, Right? We have sentience, Right? But with that sentience of being able to have the experience also comes the danger of us imputing a me into it, A solid, Independent, Lasting me into it. That's the danger of it. And that's what we have the good fortune of doing with this work that we're doing here is to see through the illusion, To see through the illusion, To see how this is all just constantly shifting. Don't get lost in any of it. Move more easily, Move more. There's more fluidity because think how we're moving through life. We're constantly holding on to what happened back there. I can't believe I said that. I'm such an idiot. I can't believe I said that. Oh my God, What do they think of me now, Right? We walk away from a conversation that was perfectly pleasant, Right? Perfectly pleasant. Everyone had a good time and everyone walks away and everyone's lost in their head. How did I sound back there? Did I sound good? Did I not sound good? Did they think I sounded smart? Did they think I sound like an idiot? How come I did that? Oh my God, Right? And then we immediately start making something out of it. This is what we immediately start doing. It's just shifting sand and it's just shifting sand. It's like in that moment, You realize like it's just a moment. And again, This interpretation, This skewed interpretation that I have of it, Right? It's so skewed towards me, The center of the universe. You're not the center of the universe. I'm not the center of the universe. None of us are, Thank goodness. Because walking around as though we are the center of the universe has been a nightmare. Trying to get everyone to do what I want them to do has been a nightmare because they're not doing it, Right? I'm not even doing it. I'm not even doing what I'm saying, Right? It is a nightmare. And yet this is how we walk around. Like I'm the center of the universe. I'm controlling everything. Everyone should do what I want. And that, You know, I can only be happy if they're what my neighbor's doing over there. And what does that mean for me? And all of these things, All of these conditions we set up in order to be happy. And yet, I am not the center of the universe. I am a part of it. I am a part of it. And I don't know what's going to happen in the next moment. I don't know how I'm going to feel. I don't know what's arising. And that's what's so beautiful because you realize like, Oh, I can stop trying to control all this. I can stop trying, You know, I can stop trying to ship the center back to me. And in fact, I find the meaning and the joy that I was trying to control for. It was here, Not because there was a me here, But because it was in the absence of it, The absence of it. We're just yeah, Emily, We're just like we're this little nod. This is for those of you are familiar with the story of Indra's net, Where it's like this massive, Massive net. And each there's these little nodules at each little place where the nets kind of have these intersections. And they're just like these crystals that are just reflecting light off of each other. Right. And so it's like I'm arising as part of you, Like Emily right now, You just pop that thought into my head. Right. You probably didn't know that's what you were doing. And that thought was popped in my head because of some earlier time when I heard about Indra's net. And for some reason, It kind of really hit home about, Yes, We're all just arising based on all these trillions of different causes and conditions. Nothing independent, Nothing solid. Yeah, Robert, Exactly. And I'm going to come right back to that, Michelle. Yeah, Everything will pass. I mean, This is what Jesus said, This too shall pass. This is what the Buddha says, It's all impermanent. This is what almost every great religion, I mean, I don't know the main thesis of every religion. But you know, What I found just in my experience, This is what everyone's observing. This is what every physicist would tell you. This is what Stephen Hawking would tell you. This is what they would all say. It's all just changing. It's all just changing. It's all just changing. And there is nothing independent and solid here. Everything, Even we look at the tree and we go, Oh, That's a tree. Right. At what point did it become a tree? Right. It was a little seedling that had the conditions of the soil and the rain and the clouds and the sun. And it started, And what point do we say it's a tree? We impute tree on the tree. Everything, We are imputing on everything. And yes, It's useful. It's useful to a degree. If I say that's a tree, And we all know I'm talking about a tree. If I say this is Meredith, And it's useful for us to all know, Okay, I'm pointing this direction about Meredith. Yes, It's useful. Conventionally speaking, It's helpful to know this. But don't get lost in Meredith. Oh, The moment, We talked about this last week, The moment I get lost in Meredith, Meredith wanting to be happy, Meredith is never going to find lasting happiness. And the moment Meredith stops trying to find lasting happiness, Guess what arises? The moment we stop putting meaning in the world, The moment we stop putting Meredith in the world, Guess what arises? Right. It doesn't mean that we jump in front of a moving train. Right. We do understand the physics as well. I understand that. But don't get caught, The moment you are thinking about yourself, Oh, The suffering is just right there, Ready to come in. Just right there, Ready. Yeah. I'm going to address first, Michelle. So yeah. Oh, These are, Oh, Right. There's two Michelles here. Okay. I'm going to come back to your second question here. So Michelle, Where you're asking, Can I talk about having human goals in relation to this, In relation to what we're talking about here? So, I do think, You know, It's fine to have goals. It's fine to have them. I would tell you personally, There's not a lot of goals happening here. But it's fine if you want to have some goals. Actually, I shouldn't say that. There are a few things that I'm working on to do. Not like a lasting goal, But things about where I'm going to be living. There's a few things that are happening along those lines. But I don't know if I'd say that's a goal so much as there's something that's going to happen. But there's no expectation there's going to be a happier Meredith if I'm living in Ohio, If I'm living in Australia, Right? There's no expectations about whatever the goal is that, Oh, I'll be happy when I finally get that. I'll be happy when I'm finally making a certain amount of income. I'll be happy when I meet the man of my dreams. I'll be happy if I get this higher education. There's no imputing a happier Meredith about anything. Doesn't mean that things can't change. And so with goals, Or if you're wanting to learn something new, You want to learn a new language, Right? I live in Mexico, So I'm learning Spanish, Right? There's not going to be a happier Meredith when I finally get to be fluent in Spanish. No, Right? It's just the joy of learning the language and being able to communicate when I'm out and about. Like, That's nice, But there's no happier me on it. And so I think it's okay to have goals, Maybe in your career, You're maybe working in a situation where you do want to get promoted. And I think that's a natural thing. You're in some type of setting, And you're the assistant manager, And it's like you'd like to have the experience of what's it like to be the manager, Or the director, Or the VP. Like, No problem. No problem kind of having that out there. But not believing that there's anything that's going to be more complete, More whole by getting this. It's just enjoy the experience of where you are now. Do your best. And because that's where your happiness is in this moment. And you're more likely to do a better job and get the promotion when you get the promotion. Yay. Yay. Nice. Like, Enjoy the good conditions. Isn't that nice? Yeah. Yeah. This is fun, Right? Gratitude. Yay. Thank you. But don't make it into something, I did this, Because you alone didn't do it. Right? It was all the conditions that were coming together. There, Of course, Was no you in there anyway. It was just all those conditions coming together. So, I would say being careful around goals, Holding them lightly. Don't impute a happier me by getting something in the external world, Or getting some type of praise, Or some type of recognition. Because it's not going to come. You're just going to be disappointed. You're just going to be disappointing. Disappointed. Well, And I'm coming back. And I know there's previous questions. I'm sorry. Something draws my eye here. And where, Robert, You're saying we need to enjoy the present moment, Because we will always desire more, No matter how much we get. The present moment is all we have. It's all we have. Desire takes us out of the present moment. The moment I have a desire, There's something lacking here. There's something incomplete here. Right? The moment that happens, I'm not present. And this is all there is. This is all there is. Yes, Exactly what you're saying, Philippa. Have goals, But hold the expectations loosely until you can give them up completely. Yeah. Because it is, I mean, So much of the goal-setting, So much of the goal-setting is this belief that there's a me, A solid me, That's going to get something from it. And from the realization that you are not a solid, Independent me, And seeing how everything is just arising and changing, Interdependent, Interconnected, In the realizing that, It doesn't mean that you stop doing things. It doesn't mean that you stop doing them. In fact, What I would say is that you're just enjoying what you're doing. Right? And as the conditions change, And because you're doing a good job, And maybe you get more clients, Or you get the big client, Or you get the big promotion, You get the big corner office, It's just, Oh, The conditions were changing, And now this is what's happening. Right? It's not, There's nothing, It's not like, Oh, You were, You were happier when you became a VP versus when you were just a lowly employee. Right? It's just, You were happy there, And then you're happy when you're the VP. But this is what we do. We so want to climb, Like we talk about climbing the corporate ladder. I don't know if they talk about that anymore kids today, But I know when I was working, When I was working in the corporate world, There was very much a belief, If I can just get to the next rung, If I can just get there, Then I'll, Then I'll finally feel whole. This feeling of unworthiness, This feeling that I'm not good enough, This feeling that I'm unlovable, All of these horrible ways that I see myself, It'll finally go away if I can just have the big title, If I can just have the corner office. Finally, I can feel good about myself. But you get there, And there's a good feeling for a few moments, But it's misconstrued of why we're feeling good. And then it's just, Oh, I still have this feeling of unworthiness. I feel, Still have this feeling of, Of something's wrong with me. Because the problem wasn't that I had the wrong title or that I was making the wrong income. The problem was that I saw myself as an independent, Separate self. That was the problem. And the moment that you see yourself as a part of the universe and not the center of the universe, Not driving this, Not driving this, Because this is all just arising based on the winds, Based on what you're asking, Based on what's happening with the dogs, Based on what's happening with my biology, Based on what's happening with the virus I may or may not have had contact with six months ago, Or six days ago, Six hours ago, Right? All these different things are giving this arising of Meredith in this moment. Looking as one thing, But constantly changing, Impermanent, Interdependent, Interconnected. That Meredith is a process, Not a thing. I'm not nothing, But I am not the way that I have always perceived myself to be as this solid, Independent thing. This solid, Independent thing that could get somewhere and finally find lasting happiness, That there was some place for me to land. Because in fact, The realization in seeing you are not an independent, Separate self, In the seeing you are not in control, In the seeing there's no thinker, There's no planner, There's no doer, In the seeing of all that is the realization there was never anywhere to land. I've been trying to land, There's nowhere to land. And so you give up this fight of trying to get there somewhere to land. And in the giving up of all of that, It's like, Oh, Oh, Actually, This feels really good. Man, I don't have the burden of the unworthiness of the pain of the suffering of every mistake that's ever been made here. Well, All that's released. There's not the burden of the pain and the suffering and the stress and the anxiety of trying to get somewhere. I just got the wrong title then, I didn't quite get the right one. Now I have the right one in No, It's in the giving up of all of this chase, Right? It doesn't mean that, Oh, Are we back? Okay, Sorry, My screen just went blank. It doesn't mean, I completely forgot with the screen going black where it was. And I'm just gonna land on Sandy's. Then you find out the corner office comes with higher taxes. Exactly, Exactly. In fact, Great point, Sandy. It's Ajahn Brahm always talks about this where he says there's married person suffering and there's single person suffering. There's CEO suffering and there's lowly employee suffering or just employee suffering. Whatever, There's suffering with everything, Right? The CEO, Yeah, They get the big salary, They get the respect, They get the, Everyone gives them their attention as they walk through the office. But you have to imagine there are days that they would go home and think, Man, I feel the weight of the world on my shoulders and all the problems that are happening in the world are with the corporation and I've got to deal with this and all the stress of that, That you would think, Man, How great to just check out for the day, Be the lowly employee, The male person and not have to worry about all this, Right? So we always impute on what someone else has, All this happiness and joy. We are constantly doing this just on, Oh, And look, The married person, Well, They must be so happy because they have someone there and I'm just the single person. But the married person will often, While I'm sure there's a lot of joy and a lot of connection and enjoying being with their partner, I hope so, But then every now and then they'll think, Man, How great to be the single person and just go home today and not have to worry about what someone else wants to eat for dinner or whatever they want to watch, Right? There's always give and take with everything, But we impute, Like there's 100% goodness on this. And this is a lot of the danger in relationships that we always impute. It should be 100% goodness. You should always make me happy. If I'm with someone, You should always make me happy. And then when that person's not able to make us happy, Like, Oh, You changed. You changed. I got to leave now. So we impute meaning everywhere and we leave out the full picture. With everything, We leave it out. In our suffering is compassion. Our suffering gets us on a spiritual path. Not everyone, But for some of us. When we don't impute meaning and we don't narrow something down into one little box, We're able to see all the things in there. Oh, Okay. The joys of the corner office, The joys of the new income. Oh, And the extra stress and the extra responsibility. Yeah. Okay. All those things are in there, Right? Someone gets the new book deal, Right? Oh, This is amazing. You get the new book deal and then it's like, Oh man, I got to write the book. Oh, And now there's deadlines, Right? Oh shoot, Now I've got to do all this, Right? We kind of delude ourselves. We get so fascinated by the trinket because we impute such meaning on it, Just goodness or just badness. We don't see the whole thing. And so we're constantly stopping and starting. Because when we get there and then it's like, Oh, That wasn't quite what I thought it was going to be. But all of this is in the name of a me, Believing in a separate, Independent, Solid Meredith. Meredith is an appearance. Don't get lost in it. Don't get lost in it. Don't try and put her into anything. Don't try and find happiness for her. It won't last. Meredith cannot find happiness. Meredith cannot find lasting happiness. And when you give up that fight, That chase, That search for it, The happiness, The peace, Everything is there. We are the ones that get in the way. We get in the way of this. We keep inserting ourself in there. I want happiness for the little me and we can't find it. Why isn't this working? And we keep chasing our tail. It never happens. Oh, And this is what the Buddha says. Look at the world and yourself more clearly. Everything is impermanent, Interconnected, Codependently arising. There is no separate, Independent self. Don't get caught up in it. See, Investigate that there is no separate, Independent you. You exist, But you do not exist the way you think you exist. And this is the problem. The programming is very strong. The brainwashing is very strong. It takes time. But this is what we're doing here each week. This is what we're doing. We keep pulling apart threads and hopefully illuminating, Showing where like, Look what you're doing here. Look where it's taking you. So you can be more mindful of that. I mean, How many people keep putting meaning? I mean, Even I've told the Chinese farmer story many times, And yet people go on putting meaning in it. But then it gets told maybe in a particular way, Because this one's changed, You've changed, Right? The conditions have changed in a way, And then all of a sudden it goes, I see it. Oh, I see it. Right? There's a kind of a blowing out of it, Like, Oh. Right? And just sometimes the words just land in a way that finally kind of blows it just maybe again, It's just temporary. But there was a little bit of a blowing, Blowing out of you for a bit. And in that blowing out of you, All of a sudden, Everything opened up. And when we start to live more in that sense of ease, Of openness, Of really seeing and hearing and feeling and tasting and smelling without adding on a me to it, Without a, How am I going to feel about that in the future without commenting on it? Right? Just everything feels so much easier. It just feels so much easier. And then a little while later, You kind of, Oh, You get up a little bit lost again. It's like, Oh, You know, You got back up there. Don't beat yourself up. Don't beat yourself up about it. It's just the, Oh, Wow, Got lost again. Got lost again. Breathe, Feel what's here. Maybe there's some tension. Maybe there's some feeling badly about yourself or about something. I mean, We're constantly replaying what we've done in the past, Putting it through that skewed lens, Right? But I did that, So I can't be present now. It's like just recognizing there it is, Putting meaning in that, Putting the me in that. Breathe, Bring kindness, Bring compassion. Ask yourself, Who is it? Who is it that feels that way? Right? Direct inquiry to shine a light on what it is we take to be the separate, Solid, Independent thing that we take ourselves to be. And in doing that, Because again, What it does is it, The ego can't compute that. When you put the light, It's putting the light on itself, Right? It opens everything up. You're here. You're still here. You're still here. You're still here. You're thinking, No thinker, Doing, No doer, Planning, No planner. You're just not doing it with that monkey on your back. Oh, Alice, You have two wise friends then that turn down promotions because it keeps their life simpler. I think more people are starting to recognize that. I think that is, I think with this new generation, They're starting to recognize that. And I'm just going to go back. I feel like I did miss a lot of, I kept planning to look back earlier. See how that plan turned out? And yes, Emily, To your question. So I live in Mexico now, But I am thinking of going back to the, To the US to take care of Maria. So after my mom died, My mom's partner, I am, I'm making plans. I had a realtor come to look at my house. And then ultimately when Maria passes, I'm going to go back to Australia because all my family's there now. And I feel like no one, I won't have any family left in North America. And there's kind of an idea of like, Yeah, That probably that makes sense. That's where I'll go. And, But no delusions about, Well, I'll be happier when I get there. I'll be happy. No delusions about that. It's just that the plans, Since my mom died, Yeah, These plans have been changing. There's been a lot of plans changing. I'll still do this. I'll still do this. I'll still do it. Well, Maybe not this exact same time because it's five o'clock in Australia when I start this. Might be a little later in the day because, I mean, The good thing is, Is I can do this wherever I am. It doesn't matter where I am. I'm just going back. Maybe I did get everything. Oh, I will take my dogs, Mari, For sure. One of my dogs is quite old. He probably won't be going to Australia. But, Oh, No, I wouldn't leave my dogs. They're my family. Yeah. In fact, Michelle, I think I did want to get back to your point here where you're saying, I see suffering coming from the case of mistaken identity that we are separate, That change has meaning tied to me. There is no me. Yeah, That was brilliant. Yeah. Oh, Thank you, Alice. Thank you for the donation. Yeah. It's the mistaken identity. Yeah. I'll try and go back here a little bit further. If there's something back, A comment or a question that you do want me to see, Please feel free to put it lower in the, Feel free to put it again in the comments. In fact, I think these might have just been comments back and forth. Okay. And that's as far as it. And, Michelle, I hope I thanked you for the donation. Oh, And Sandy. Sorry. I just got back to your comment now of 25 minutes ago. Sandy is shifting to. Yes, Sandy is shifting to. Oh, I did. Okay, Good. Thanks, Michelle. Yeah. I mean, The one thing that I think about Mari on that long flight is that the two that are younger, They are just like this. And it does make me feel good thinking they will be together. But that is a few years off because I, What's motivating this is the, Is to take care of Maria, My mom's partner, Who my mom was taking care of before she died. And, And so, I mean, I could be in Ohio for five, 10 years. You know, I don't really know. I'm just kind of saying this is the plan that's going. So, But I don't know how long it's going to be for. And who knows? I mean, And things change, Things change. Right. But I think that was in relation saying like, Yeah, There is a, There, There's definitely conditions have changed. And has caused like, Oh, Yeah, Okay, Where I thought I would stay in Mexico for quite a long time. And but conditions are changing. And so there's no attachment here to to Mexico. I love it. Don't get me wrong. I love it. And a wonderful community down here. Beautiful, Beautiful community of the Americans and the Mexicans. Beautiful people down here. I love it. And, And, And it's, And it's cheap. It's super cheap. I mean, That's really nice to go to the vet. To go to the vet is so cheap. It's amazing. So, I mean, I would have never had three dogs in the States. So that's also kind of a little bit like, Oh, I got to be a little careful as I'm going back to the States. Right now I'm going back and forth between Ohio and here. I'm just going back. I'm scheduled to go back next. I just bought a flight, Bought a flight to go back the end of September. And I'm just going to keep going back and forth and kind of assessing this and seeing how it goes. But I do, Ultimately, I will be there for Maria. So, And thank you for the donation, Louisa and Heather. Thank you guys so much. I'm a Mexican and not a Mexicant, Ernesto, Just being humorous. Yeah. I like that. We like humor here. We love humor here. Yeah. But yeah, I mean, I love the community down here. I love it. I love this community online. And I do find, I mean, I really do find we, It's, You know, You kind of take the community, It's like that story where there's a traveler. He's left his village and he's been traveling through the mountains and he comes out on this valley or at the top of this mountain and sees this village down below and he sees this sheepherder. And he goes up to the sheepherder and he says, You know, Hello, Good sir. He said, You know, I've been traveling for days, Weeks now. I left my town and I'm looking for a nice place to live. Can you tell me about the town, The village down there? Can you tell me what the people are like? And the sheepherder says, He goes, Well, Tell me, He goes, What were the people like where you just came from? And he said, Oh, They were horrible. They were horrible, Cruel, Just rude, Unpleasant people. Just awful. I just couldn't wait to get away from them all. And the sheepherder says, Well, I'm so sorry. I think you're going to find they're the same. They're the same here. Same here. You better, You might as well keep walking, Go somewhere else. Really kind of saying that like you take, You know, So while I love the community here, I do find, You know, The community actually in Oxford, Ohio, Which is where my mom lived. And a lot of her friends have been really beautiful outpouring of kindness and help. And so I feel like there's a beautiful community right there to go to. And then if I do end up back in Australia, You know, My sister Libby, Who's on the call, Because I'll live up there in Lauriton. I wouldn't go back to Sydney, Which is where I used to live when I lived in Australia. I could never, I could never afford to live in Sydney, Nor would I want to. It's way too crowded. But yeah, I'll have a community up there as well. And so, You know, A family, My sisters, Both my sisters live up there, My brother-in-law, My aunt, My uncle. So I have, I have a lot of family. All my family lives in Australia, Actually all my family. I am the only one with the American accent. Yeah. Oh, And Heather, You're in San Diego. So that's where I was before, Before this. I was in San Diego for 20-something years. Oh, And your four dogs are from Mexico. Bless your heart. And I would, At times, I would cross the border and go into Tijuana and take my dogs there. You know, Just go to the vet there. I wish if I was in Texas, Well, Not Houston, Because that's not a border town. But yeah, If you can be a border town, Like, It's great because you can just come to Mexico and, And do your dental, Do all your stuff down here. So it's, It's such an, An, It isn't, I do find it's, I don't want to say this too quickly, Because it's not an easy life for everyone down here. But even what I do find is interesting, And thank you, Robert, For the donation. Thank you. You don't see a lot of homeless down here. Because even the poorest family, I mean, They all just stick together and look after each other. So it's interesting that you don't see a lot of homeless. I mean, You do see poverty. You do see poverty. And you see people helping. You see people just helping each other where you can. And it's wonderful to be able to do that. You know, So yeah, It's a pretty, It's a pretty special place down here. Okay. Okay, I think, I think we got to all the questions. Yeah, It's a bit colder there in Lauriton. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, Definitely way colder than here, But not as cold as Ohio. Ohio can get quite cold, Or at least it did last winter when I was there a lot with my mom. Yeah, But it's super hot. I mean, It is hot. It is hot down here in the summer, But it's very quiet. And I do like that. I do like it's, It's very, Very quiet right now. So, But that will change in about two months time. All the snowbirds are going to start to come down. And then it's just, It's just change. Okay. Now it's getting a little busier again, Right? Just always change. Always change. Right? This is really, You know, The more that we can just get on board with everything is changing. I am not part of the, I am not the center of the universe. I am a part of the universe. Stop trying to hold on. Stop trying to only have the good conditions and push away the unpleasant conditions. It's not what's happening that matters. It's how we're relating to it. Yeah, I, And just Ernesto, I do agree there, There is something in the States, I do find it just, It's, It's very sad the way we treat veterans, The way, It's a very, I mean, The US is very much, And what it seems to be focusing on very much in the last few decades is this, Or one part is just, Everyone's an individual. It's all about the individual. And, And we have forgotten, You know, We've forgotten compassion. Right? It's, It's, People impute meaning when they see homeless people, They go, Well, They're just lazy, Or they're just drug addicts, Or they made a lot of bad choices. Because by imputing that meaning on them, It allows them to walk by without helping. It allows them to not open their heart. But remember, If you're not, If you can't open your heart to a homeless person, If you, If you're walking by a homeless person, And you can't look them in the eye, For fear of what you think that would do to you, Your heart isn't disclosed in that situation. Like I was saying before, It's muted in all situations. It's muted in all situations. I had this thought once that I, I thought all, All politicians should have to do two years of compassion practice before they become a politician. I mean, I imagine it, Imagine Philippa, Imagine they're all doing Tonglen every day before they go into the White House, Or the Senate, Congressional Building. Imagine they're all doing Tonglen before that. Like, What a difference that would make in the policy outcomes. What a difference. But it's, It's, It's unfortunate that I think the power gets to them. Yeah, I think the power gets to them. And it's easy to just get kind of brainwashed into that, Into that world. I can't see any politician as being happy. I can't see any politician being happy. None of them. I mean, Just, Oh, It's, It very much reflects the state of the world. Yes, Imagine DT doing Tonglen. Yeah, Yeah. What a difference that would make. No, But we don't know. We don't know where things are. We don't know. And it's really easy to impute things as well. Like, Yeah, Things, There's definitely, I'm not going to deny that there's definitely a lot of challenges happening in the world because of a lot of egos. But let's see. Do what you can do. Vote how you can vote. If you're, If you're an activist, And you, And you can do it without being an angry activist, While also seeing, While also seeing, And I, I think this is so important that we, We don't become a cult, That we don't become a tribe and, And think that everything that my party does is right, Because I don't agree with that either. I think, I think we have to look at the other, At people that vote differently than us and recognize they're voting based on their causes and conditions. Their views are their causes and conditions. The views here are the causes and conditions here. And, And so not to judge another person, Not to have hatred towards someone. And I see a lot of that happening now. I see a lot of that. And it's a lot of virtue signaling. It's not compassion. I'm done with them. This is what they've done to us. Like, It's, It's, It's fueling the fire. It's not putting it out. And so I, I do just try in my own little world, My own little place down here, Is to not judge others for their views and opinions. Who am I to judge someone else? Who am I, Right? I mean, Everyone is the result of their causes and conditions. And I think if you, If you want to be an activist, Practice a lot of Tonglen. Don't do it from a standpoint of me versus them, Or you're right, And you're more compassionate, You're more moral. I think that misses the mark on what we're trying to do, Or what you would be trying to do. And you'll burn out pretty quickly. You'll burn out. No, And if you don't want to vote, Or sorry, You don't want to become an activist, Um, Vote where you can, Do what you can do. But don't be attached to the outcome, Because people are acting, Well, Again, I feel terrible for what's happening with a lot of migrants in the U. S. , People that have lived there for years and years and years, And done nothing wrong. I mean, Even just they're very much on asylum, You know, Very much, Um, Maybe they're not citizens, Or green card holders, But they did actually follow the process of getting, Getting into the country, And leaving countries where the U. S. Has done a lot of disruption, Central America, A lot of disruption. And, And so, Yeah, It's, You know, Seeing that what's happening with people being rounded up and, And, And just what's happening is, Is, Um, There's a lot of sadness. Yeah, When I see that, I don't want to look away from it, Right? But to, To practice compassion, We'll see, Let's see what's going to happen here, To really try my, Try our best, We should try our best to not get too attached to the outcome. Because there's just trillions of causes and conditions that have given rise to this moment. It's not one thing, Or person, Or party doing something wrong. It's the result of trillions of causes and conditions. And, And most of us wake up every day, Most of us do wake up, And there's not a huge shift in our day. I mean, Yes, Will there be changes in taxes, Or health insurance, Or things like, Yes, There's little changes, These things happening all the time. But not to get so worked up about it, Because again, We put me in it and the meaning, I think we're, We're getting lost in the illusion. And once we get lost in the illusion, Then it's easy to start hating. Once it's, You know, Once we start hating, You know, Our hearts are closed up, Like there's all that separation, All that, That disconnection is there. I mean, The moment we're not meeting things with love, And I'm serious, I'm serious. If we're not meeting things with love, That shows what our view is of who we are. And there's suffering. Now, So we don't, If you don't want to bring more suffering into the world, Don't blame people. Do a lot of Tonglen, I always recommend Tonglen, Such a powerful practice. Such a powerful practice. I have a good workshop, I think, On my teacher's page, If anyone wants to go look at it, Because it's a very powerful practice. And, And really helps us to understand, You know, There but go I for the grace of God, Or there but go I for the grace of causes and conditions. Could have just, I could have voted that way, I could have done this, Just the causes and conditions were different here. Yeah, We do have to be very careful about where we're imputing meaning on all sorts of, Oh, This is the worst, Oh, This is the, It's like, Well, We'll see. You turn on the news, Oh my God, All this is happening. Have compassion, Have compassion, Have compassion. Don't turn away, Don't turn away from what's happening. I mean, Unless you can't take it, But I mean, And if not, Then do some Tonglen practice and compassion practices to be able to stay with what is, But don't make, Don't put yourself in it, Don't make meaning around, Well, How, What does this mean for me? I can't take this anymore. That's just, That's more of what's created this problem of where we find ourselves in the US. And even though I'm in Mexico, I do feel this, I've only been here for five years. And I do feel kind of like I'm still in the States in some ways, In some ways, Like with what's happening with politics and all this stuff over there. Yeah, To be careful that we're not putting ourselves in it, To be able to look at what's happening, Have compassion, Apply the teachings there. I know people think, Oh, Compassion is for people that are homeless, But not someone I disagree with, Or not someone that's being unkind to me, Or I see being unkind to someone else. Like if your compassion is based on just people being kind to you, Like, That's not real compassion. That's not real compassion. That's not seeing things clearly. That's compassion for people that are kind to me, People that are doing things I want them to do. Right? That's not what we're doing here, At least. That's not what we're teaching here, At least. So yeah, Just to be careful. Be careful when you're watching the news, When you're imputing meaning where it does, You know, You're imputing meaning, Trying to put a flag in something, This is bad, This is good, Have compassion. Of course, For all those people who are suffering, Have compassion, Keep your, Don't get lost in the head, Don't get lost in that. Keep your heart open, That will guide you, That will be your best guidance. A good rudder at the heart, Open heart is a good rudder. Yeah, And Philippe, I should do another Tonglen, I should do another Tonglen. Yeah, Good suggestion. In fact, We did it before because you gave the suggestion. Yeah. Yeah. Compassion doesn't have conditions. Yeah. And Farah, Just what you're saying, There's too much ego and energy trying to prove which party is wrong. That's, That was a great way of putting it, Farah. Yeah. It's not solving the problem. It's not solving the problem. So, Okay. I think with that, We should probably come to an end here. Are we good? We're all clear on our temptation, This habit to impute meaning where there is none. Just to keep remembering as best you can, It's just changing sand. It's just shifting sand, Shifting sand, Shifting sand, Just shifting sand. The more you can be mindful of this, Be aware of this, And then just keep noticing like, Wow, Someone was unkind, They were rude. And it's just shifting sand. And wow, I just kind of let it go. And I felt better. Great. Great. Don't put any other meaning into that. Don't put meaning into it. That means I'm enlightened for life. Like, Don't put meaning into anything. Don't put me, I had it, Now it's gone. Don't put meaning into it. Don't put meaning into anything. Just notice the meaning of putting it into, Yeah, Again, Spirituality. I talk about that a lot. I mean, I talk constantly about the traps of spirituality. Don't put meaning into, You know, Again, I had it earlier, Now I don't, Right? I was a good practitioner, And now I'm not, Right? Just notice the putting meaning into things. Notice that. And what I'll do, In fact, Because I just started again on my newsletter, Putting some contemplation questions when I send the Dharma talks out each week, Because I do record these, And I put them up on Insight Timer. I'll start adding those. And so, In fact, I'll put in the group page, Our group Sangha page. I'll put the contemplation questions for last week's Dharma talk. I think it's live now. That's the thing I have to check to see when it goes live on Insight Timer. But I'll start adding that as well. So again, Just another way for you to keep marinating in the teaching, To keep getting, You know, Allowing it to really embed into your nervous system and into your heart. And so that when the right conditions come along, It just kind of, It's there to the grace of remembering, Oh, Shifting sand, Shifting sand, And you're free again. Okay, So I'll start doing that soon. Thank you, Philippa. Thank you, Michelle. Thank you, Both Michelle's and Kimberly. And I'm so glad you were here. So glad you were here today. And Robert, Thank you. And for all your wonderful comments, Robert, Very insightful. Thank you. And Alice, I love spending my Sunday afternoons with you as well. Thank you, My dear. Thank you. And Julie, Thank you. So good to see you. Hope you are well over in Los Berriles. And Farah. And Ernesto. And Libby, Heather. And Louisa, Mari. Okay. And Amelie, Thank you for all your great comments there. Okay, Great. Oh, You're back. You must be in the States then, Yeah. Yeah, Kimberly, We do this every Sunday. Every Sunday. And I record these sessions and I put them up on my Insight Timer teachers page. Or wherever you are, Julie. I think you're probably in San Diego, I think. Probably the only place in the world where the temperature really is just perfect. So Heather, I hope you are enjoying the weather up there. Oh, You're in Napa. Wonderful. I'll enjoy that. Enjoy that. So thank you all. Thank you for the donations. Thank you for the wonderful support, For the love, For the hearts. I always love the hearts. And for the great comments and questions. And just thank you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Thank you. Okay, We'll see you guys next Sunday.

Reviews

the shifting sand is such a great analogy. i also love the story of the man looking for a new town to live. it reminds me of brer rabbit, “ wherever you go there you are” thanks Meredith 💚🌈🩵🌈💛🌈💚🌈🩵

Meredith thank you so much for these dharma talks. Your wise words always opens my mind to new ways to live and experience this beautiful journey I am on. I feel this spiritual life is almost like puzzle pieces that slowly come together… the picture at the end is just me ( the pure self looking back) … it makes any sense. Thank you so much, I am very grateful!