I know my heart.
I know my feelings.
There could be a lot of different ways that we could approach that.
Just as we start,
Let's notice the physical.
It's comfortable for me to go into the heart center,
To pay attention to the sensations and the energy of the heart.
And that may be somewhat true,
Not at all very true,
The comfort.
We're never being pushy with ourselves.
If it's really true,
Then you can go right into your heart center,
And notice what's here.
And if it's not as true,
Or if there's some some hesitance,
Then that could be something you notice as well,
With a kind heart.
And that it's really normal and natural and healthy,
Actually,
To avoid things that are painful.
We all avoid things that are painful.
And so if emotion that's here or that's waiting in the wings is painful,
Of course we're going to try to avoid it.
So we could stop shaming ourselves for that.
We could get kind of realistic about that.
We all want to avoid things that are painful.
And as children,
Often we were conditioned to not be open to our emotion,
To not be able to express it.
Maybe we were made fun of emotion,
Or people got very uncomfortable,
Or we were yelled at or told that we were not feeling what we were feeling.
So,
The last lighting of children's emotions is very common too.
So if we have anything less than open-armed,
Open-hearted,
I love being in my heart center.
There are a lot of reasons for that.
So we could let that be as well.
So we could move more to the physical body.
Notice the muscles that cover your chest.
From the collar bones,
Down through to the lower ribs,
Through the underarms,
And then the large muscles of the back,
The back of your neck,
Shoulders,
Muscles that work the arms,
The shoulder blades,
Down through to the lower rib cage.
And notice if there's any energy or sensation in the back of your body.
Often that's quite different from the front.
This is where we brace ourselves against being hurt.
Our shoulders are often tense.
The muscles of the upper back are tight.
You could bring your shoulders up for a bit as you breathe in,
And then release them as you breathe out,
Or move around a bit.
You could turn and look behind you,
So that you can see with your eyes,
Which communicate directly to your nervous system,
That there's no threat behind you right now.
There's no danger in the room.
These are the muscles that cover the rib cage that encases the heart.
As we let those muscles soften,
And as we are aware of the energy,
Protective energy at the back of the body,
Sometimes there's an image,
A shield or something that is in front of our heart,
Protecting us from feeling.
There's a lot of complicated and nuanced experiences that happen around the heart.
As we soften and relax the physical body,
That helps.
And then notice as you come lower,
Notice your stomach area and your navel center,
Your lower belly,
And notice what's happening with your breath.
And when we are at ease,
That's reflected in the breath.
We have a smooth,
Even,
Continuous breath.
So if you were to just notice the physicalness of that for a moment,
And let your stomach area and belly really soften as you breathe out.
Just take all of the tension away from your stomach area.
And then expand your awareness to include your legs and your arms.
Notice if your legs and arms are at rest.
And when they're not,
It's usually not to do with current,
In-this-moment danger,
Or need to move or run or protect ourselves.
It's a habit in the nervous system.
So you could stretch or shake or look around the room again,
Just kind of reassure yourself again with your eyes.
I don't need to actually take action right now.
Look for the cues of safety that are here.
And we have these metaphorical running away from feeling,
For instance.
And then sometimes we have that translated into our body as well.
We have a restlessness in our legs.
Our nervous system has a lot of coordination in our nervous system,
The different parts of our body,
The thoughts in our mind.
So bring your face into your awareness as well,
And your head.
Notice your forehead and eyebrows.
The flow of air in your nose.
Your mouth,
Your jaw,
Your tongue,
Your throat.
Knowing our heart and our emotion is really a whole body experience.
If you were to come back into your heart center and this time bring forward something that always makes you smile.
It might be a place,
An experience listening to music,
Or a pet,
A person.
Something uncomplicated.
When you think about that,
You smile.
And then let yourself really vividly imagine that.
Let yourself physically smile.
Notice your face.
And if you were to check in with your heart,
I'm completely comfortable feeling this.
I don't have to tense up against this.
I'm happy and welcoming to this feeling of joy.
And notice what's going on in your mind,
In your thought stream.
Sometimes we're able to let ourselves be with a wonderful memory in a very uncomplicated way.
And sometimes there are other things that come into it.
So what else is here?
If it's a person,
Our relationships with people are always complicated.
It's never just wonderful memories of somebody.
So when you primarily focus on this experience that opens your heart,
Let's stay with that for a little bit and notice what else is here,
Too.
Notice your breath.
Notice any change in the sensations in your body.
.
.
.
.
.
.
And notice if your mind went somewhere else.
I'm just noticing the mechanisms of connection and disconnection.
Sometimes there's a hard no.
Often it's more subtle.
It's just kind of a skittering away.
We just kind of turn away from something.
And then we could be kind instead of impatient.
Oh,
Okay.
I see now that that's what's going on.
We're not being tested or graded in terms of,
Can I keep my heart open 100% all the time.
Let's come back to whole body awareness.
Notice your body now.
Notice your breath again.
I know my heart.
Notice how true or aware on that continuum you feel on that.
I know my heart might bring up some feelings of confusion.
When we think about the complicated relationship we have with each other and with ourselves,
In order to really know what I feel,
I have to be fully connected.
And that disconnection can create a cloud kind of a confusion.
Notice your response to that.
I know my heart.
And once again,
We come up with the subtlety and the complexity when we're thinking about leaving a relationship,
For instance.
So if we have a lot of things to consider,
We might still have some warm feelings for that person.
Or we're maybe completely cold-hearted and they're out of our heart now.
We might think of being gaslit as well.
You don't really feel that way.
You can't possibly be cold.
You can't possibly be hungry.
You just ate.
So we're gaslit about physical feelings,
And we're also gaslit about emotion.
So we have a history of this.
So it's not really surprising that there might be some confusion or lack of clarity.
Let's sit with that for a minute.
Is it true that I have clarity around my feelings,
My emotions?
It's interesting to see what contributes to a lack of clarity.
Sometimes it might be that we're not supposed to feel this thing.
Maybe we feel jealous of somebody.
And that's a human experience.
We all know that one.
And if we don't allow that to be,
Then we're suppressing it somehow.
We're pushing it away.
So it might be because we don't want to think about ourselves as the kind of person who's jealous.
Like there's a kind of person who's jealous.
We all feel jealous at times.
Or it might be that I don't want to feel this fear about somebody.
I feel like I shouldn't feel it.
Or if I do feel it,
It makes me a coward or something.
Let's take a couple of minutes just to really notice what are the elements that are preventing us from just going into our deep intuition and heart.
What are the internal arguments against how we actually feel?
And just to be mindful of the thoughts that are coming forward.
And then let all of that move to the background.
What does your heart know?
What do you feel?
What can you access right now?
And then for the last few minutes of the practice,
Let's tune into the heart and compassion,
Love for ourselves.
Can you feel warm-hearted and open-hearted towards yourself right now?
It's a very complicated business being a human.
We have our primitive brain and that whole protective system.
We have relationships.
We have our history.
Our present moment conditions.
We have our higher level brain development as well.
And our hearts.
We have our hearts.
And no matter what else is present,
Could we focus for a moment on the love and connection that we have with ourselves,
With our own heart?
Let everything else drift off to the side or to the surface and just focus on this for a moment.
That felt sense of love and connection with our heart.
Notice if you can welcome yourself.
Come home.
Be connected with yourself.
Notice your body,
Your breath.
We could just cultivate.
We could practice this connection in our heart.
Notice what the obstacles might be.
Keep letting them move to the side and go deeper and deeper into the heart,
Into connecting with our own heart.
