Welcome to Breakdown to Breakthrough,
The podcast that empowers you to transform your life by awakening to your true authentic self.
I'm Lisa A.
Romano,
Your host.
As an award-winning author and certified life coach,
I've dedicated my life to helping others understand the incredible power of an organized mind.
I believe that true empowerment begins with awakening to our false self.
My mission is to support you on your journey toward mental and emotional regeneration through conscious and deliberate awakening.
In this podcast,
I'll share insights,
Tools,
And transformative stories that illuminate the path to healing and self-discovery.
So today I want to share with this amazing,
Insightful,
Conscious healing community my number one mantra.
The number one mantra that I used very early on in my codependency recovery journey when I was awakening and finally realizing that I had emotional neglect as a child,
That I had suffered childhood trauma.
When it started to come into focus and I developed the awareness that I wasn't crazy,
That things had happened in my childhood.
That should never have happened,
That impacted me greatly,
That led to codependency and eating disorders,
Self-loathing.
And me really identifying as someone even unworthy of God,
Unworthy of love,
Unworthy of respect.
I would say that by the time I was probably three years old,
I had already begun to feel unworthy of just life.
And that was real.
And after finally being diagnosed with codependency by my fifth or sixth therapist,
After being very frustrated by therapy.
I finally began to understand that what was wrong inside of me was real.
But more deeply.
It wasn't my fault.
And I learned very quickly that I had to create what I call anchoring thoughts.
To help me from spinning out.
Emotionally to prevent me from going down emotional rabbit holes.
My terminology is when you go from living below the veil of consciousness,
Operating from within the pattern of childhood trauma,
You are disconnected from yourself.
You are disconnected from your spirit.
You are disconnected from Source,
God,
Your higher power.
You are disconnected from everything that is love.
You are going in the wrong direction,
Baby doll.
And you don't know any other way because you're living from that toxic paradigm,
A dark paradigm where love does not exist.
Childhood trauma robs us of love.
It robs us from love of other,
Or mother,
Or brother,
Or sister,
Or people outside of us.
We can't connect to their love.
So we can't fill up our love tank.
And so we're disconnected from love.
And yet here's the really,
The big conundrum and the crazy paradox is we are love.
My entire journey was finding the road back to me,
The true me.
Not my little me,
Ego self Lisa,
Wounded self Lisa,
The true intrinsic Lisa,
The one that is connected to all that is.
The child of source,
The child of God,
If you will.
I had to go back to that love.
Because I believe that we all come from the one source and the one source is good.
What happens to us when we incarnate on planet Earth,
This is Earth's school.
That is not our soul's fault,
But those are conditions and paradigms and matrices and things that we have to go through to discover who and what we truly are.
And if you stay on the path long enough,
You start to make sense of.
.
.
What is happening in your life.
That's why you can never give up.
You can't let the dark win.
You can't let the darkness,
The isolation,
And the loneliness that is childhood trauma prevent you from finding the road back to your true authentic self.
The number one mantra that I used very early on was,
Lisa,
Hold on to yourself.
I want to explain why that mantra is and was so powerful and it still is so powerful in my life today.
And in the lives of the many thousands of people that have come through my courses and I have been able to coach with these methods.
Hold on to yourself.
Now that mantra basically implies that there is going to be something some turbulence that's happening inside of you as you awaken.
If you come from a toxic family,
You've been living inside like a blender your whole life because nothing made sense.
People were mean to you,
Cruel to you,
Judged you,
Projected on you.
They threw their trauma at you,
And they're below the veil.
They're justifying it,
Rationalizing it,
Saying that you deserved it.
It's hell.
When you come from a toxic family,
It is absolute hell.
And your soul,
Your heart,
Your energy,
It's all being blended inside this tremendous blender.
There are no walls for you to hang on to.
You're just like,
What's the point?
Like,
What's this?
Life is so painful.
What's the point?
When you don't realize when you're in that blender or you're in that tornado,
That there is a light,
The light's inside of you.
And you've just been distracted by all of this trauma or all these emotions or all these other people's opinions.
Codependency makes you other-focused.
So you're constantly focusing on what's happening outside of you versus what's happening inside of you.
And that is where a lot of self-mastery skills have to come into play when recovering from codependency.
Because we have to go from being outer focus to inner focus where we can hold on to the self.
When you start to awaken,
It's a new different,
It's a different kind of pain.
It's like,
Oh,
The lights have been turned on.
So imagine you're in a room and the room is full of rats,
But the lights are off.
And they're nipping at your toes,
And you're in pain,
And ow,
Ow,
Ow,
Ow,
Ow,
Wherever you step,
Ow,
Ow,
Ow,
It's painful.
You lay down,
It's painful,
But you don't know why it's painful.
It's just painful.
When you awaken,
The lights get turned on in the room.
Or the lights get turned on in your consciousness.
And you start to understand what's been nipping at your toes.
A narcissistic mom.
And alcoholic dad.
A sister who's bipolar,
Perhaps,
Or a brother who is narcissistic.
Or the family's plagued by some type of an addiction or incarceration or whatever.
When you awaken,
It's like,
Holy Hannah.
Now I'm starting to see why I am so much in so much pain.
That's a different type of pain.
I prefer that pain.
Over unconscious pain,
Not knowing where the pain is coming from.
So the mantra hold on to yourself is the is the mantra that you tell yourself as you develop this awakening ability.
Which is your spiritual self,
Side of self is coming online.
You're not below the veil anymore.
You're above the veil.
You're getting different eyes now.
You have eyes to see the truth.
You want to understand that when you see the truth you see the bad as well as the good now.
So awakening can feel like a double-edged sword.
If you have a narcissistic mom,
When you start to awaken,
You start to see the inner child inside of you that's been fawning after her approval.
You start to see how she still withholds love.
You start to see that you're not crazy.
She really is triangulating you.
She is really trying to turn your sisters against you.
And when your sisters aren't around,
She tries to act like she's your best friend.
Like when the lights go on,
When you have an awakening.
And you start to see what's really going on,
You start to understand your pain.
That's when you have to hold on to yourself.
Because it's a different type of pain.
In those moments when you're noticing what you notice and you can't look away anymore.
Because once you see it,
You can't unsee it.
Once you see childhood trauma,
You can't unsee it.
Once you understand how alcoholism has affected your family,
You can't unsee it.
Once you start to see the codependency and the narcissism in your family,
You can see it.
Once you start to see how your mother smothered you and prevented your growth,
And it was a very selfish thing for her to do because she never wanted you to leave her.
She wanted you to always take care of her,
And she guilted you.
Once you see it,
You can't unsee it.
You gotta hold onto yourself.
Because there's going to be a part of you.
That inner child inside of you that is so wounded.
That is going to want to continue to reach for the people and the situations that are familiar.
So you have to hold on to yourself.
So you want to think about the mantra,
Hold on to yourself,
As you really holding on to this inner child.
That hasn't caught up with your new level of awakening or your new level of understanding.
It hasn't caught up yet.
It's going to need you sort of like the Divine Mother or the Divine Father to speak to this inner child so this inner child understands we don't fawn anymore.
You're enough.
This should have never happened to you.
You don't have to beg for approval.
You don't have to prove yourself worthy of love.
You don't have to associate struggle with money.
Or struggle with achievement.
You don't have to fear success or fear abandonment anymore.
That's why that mantra is so powerful hold on to yourself because dear one The issue with trauma that is so devastating that most people miss,
I think,
Is that trauma separates you from your spirit self.
Trauma separates you if you are comfortable with the word God,
Or higher self,
Or source.
Or if you prefer the word love,
You want to understand that trauma turns you away from love.
And you can get lost in the dark wilderness of life through trials and tribulations.
You know,
Wander through this desert place and get all caught up in what's happening outside of you.
And be so turned around and never realize that the real cost of trauma is that you were turned around from your innate value,
Your innate self.
You have innate value.
You have an innate self.
You have innate worthiness.
But trauma obscures that.
And so I just want to offer this mantra to anybody who is on the road back to the self or the divine self.
I wanted to offer this mantra up to anybody who finds themselves struggling and who recognizes that.
Now that I'm awake.
I can see the passive aggressiveness of my sister or the condescending comments.
I can see it now.
Or I can see the way my narcissistic husband stonewalls me and tries to gaslight me.
Oh my God,
I can see the gaslighting.
I can see it.
I can feel it.
I can taste it.
I can touch it.
Hold on to yourself.
When you hold on to yourself,
You're refusing to give energy and focus to a dynamic and a pattern that you're trying to break.
If we were talking about the neuroscience side of this,
This is you offering a pattern interrupt.
See,
There's no such thing as separation.
You can't separate the divine from neurology.
They're one and the same.
You can't separate neurology from psychology.
They're one and the same.
And so when you decide to use the mantra,
Hold on to myself,
I have to hold on to myself,
I have to hold on to myself.
What you're doing in that moment is you're offering a metacognitive which is metacognition is the ability to think about the way that you think.
You've already activated self-awareness.
And without self-awareness,
You can't be self-accountable for how you show up.
You can't break patterns.
So trauma rules your life.
And we don't have to go out that way.
There's a light inside of you.
You might not see it.
You might not be able to feel it,
Taste it,
Or touch it.
But every single one of us,
Every creature,
Has the light.
Within them.
And when we begin to identify with the light versus the trauma and the dark,
When we start Maybe off very slowly.
Hold on to myself.
I have to hold on to myself.
I have to hold on to myself.
Here comes the guys gas lighting.
Hold on to myself.
Don't react.
Don't react.
Okay.
I see it.
I see the gas lighting.
I'm not going to react.
I'm not going to resist and there are so many other lessons that I could go off into from this one teaching like non-resistance,
But for the sake of time,
I wanted to offer this one specific mantra because it is so powerful and it still saves me today.
And if you are on this awakening path where you're awakening from the darkness of childhood trauma,
You're awakening from the sleep state that is codependency,
Focusing on everybody else but yourself,
Seeking approval,
Not feeling good enough,
Trying to control how people see you,
Twisting yourself into a pretzel,
That is you living in the dark.
And if you are awakening,
Congratulations,
You know,
Welcome.
And do what you can to stay as aware as possible as you learn to love yourself and love the light that's within you.
Knowledge is very powerful.
Insight is very powerful.
You become unstoppable when you put these ideas into action.
Namaste everybody.
Until next time,
As I bow to the love and light that is absolutely in you.
Bye for now.
