Copying Extroverts - Tips To Create An Amazing Social Life

Introverts and extroverts both have certain strengths. One of the strengths of extroverts is their ability to create an active and robust social life. If you're an introvert looking to expand your friend group or network, you can emulate many of their behaviors to achieve a similar result. This talk goes over three tips you can adopt from extroverts to have an amazing social life as an introvert.

Transcript

Hey,

How's it going?

This is Ishar and today I want to talk to you about three different tips that you can take from extroverts in order to have an amazing social life as an introvert.

So if you've been watching my videos for a while,

You may know I'm more of an introvert than extrovert.

I spend a lot of time,

A lot of the day staring at a wall,

Meditating and having very chill activities that recharge me.

Yet at the same time,

I also have an amazing social life.

You've probably seen from my Instagram,

I go out a lot,

I meet new people,

Make new friends and have those opportunities.

And what I find is that many introverts want to have a better social life and be confident enough to make new friends and meet more people.

However,

They struggle with a lot of issues related to being shy or not being social enough or confident enough and they feel very insecure in public situations and social settings.

And that's something I want to change.

And one thing I've done recently is hang around a lot of my extroverted friends a bit more.

And I see clearly what they do right and what has allowed them to have an amazing social life and maybe what doesn't produce the best results,

And I'll touch upon that in a second and what they do wrong.

But what I've done is I've taken some of the tips and principles that they really embody and I've been using that in my own life.

And what I found is I'm able to get the same kind of results as them,

But kind of do it in my own way.

And the idea behind this is not to become something you're not.

So if you're not a person that goes to clubs all the time,

Don't do that.

But rather you can take the same principles and apply it to your existing life and whatever you do normally and you'll find that it works very effectively.

So what is the first tip?

The first tip,

And this is something that extroverts do quite often,

Is to talk to everyone throughout your day.

So this is the idea of generating social momentum.

So being social is like a skill.

The more you do it,

The better you get at it and you're able to pick up on nuances and subtleties.

And the only way to get this experience is to become more social and talk to people more often.

And,

You know,

It's very hard to,

If you have an introverted job and you're also an introvert and you're sitting at home all day,

And say you have this big event or big presentation or you're hanging out with friends,

If you go from a place of sitting at home all day to then go out to this event and try to talk to people,

You'll find yourself very much stuck in your head.

So you'll be constantly scanning the environment and feeling insecure or not feeling like you can project your voice and you feel very awkward and timid just because you haven't talked to anyone throughout the day.

So it's very hard to go from zero to 100.

So one thing that extroverts do very well is that they just make small talk to everyone.

And it doesn't have to be anything dramatic.

If you're leaving your house on your way to get groceries,

Why not say hi to the door guy downstairs?

And then once you make it to the grocery store,

You just make a five-second convo with the cashier.

You say,

Hey,

How's your day going?

And it doesn't really take that much effort.

But what you've done is you've told your brain it's okay to talk to strangers and you're not going to get beat up to do that if you do that and everything's okay.

And what happens when you start to do this and you start to just make small talk to people more often throughout your day is that your brain starts to open up and you become more social naturally.

So it becomes less of an effort and you also become more proactive rather than reactive.

Because what happens with a lot of introverts is that when they go to different venues,

They feel overwhelmed by the environment.

So people are talking very loudly.

There's a lot of things going on.

They're getting distracted.

They don't feel confident.

And they're reacting to different things all around them.

And what you want to do instead is to train yourself to become more proactive.

And one way to do this is obviously to talk to everyone.

And as you do that,

You generate that social momentum where you feel more confident in talking to other people.

And you are now the proactive force in the environment.

And the second tip I'd like to give is to also be yourself while you're doing this as well.

So don't try to put on this character of you being this super extroverted person where you're like,

Hey,

What's up,

Everyone?

Because you just want to be yourself but also be social at the same time.

So it doesn't have to be this exaggerated motion where you talk to people,

But you can simply be calm,

Chill,

Collected,

But still be social.

So just say,

Hey,

How's it going?

Then you go up to the next person.

Hey,

How's your night going?

And you're very calm,

Chill,

And cool about it.

And you are being yourself because you're not trying extra hard,

But you're also putting yourself out there a bit more.

So what extroverts naturally do is that they put their personality out there just so everyone can see it and they're not afraid.

And people who are very much on the extroverted side of that spectrum will literally blurt out their thoughts without thinking.

And they may also brag.

So you don't want to do those two things.

But what they do well is that they do put themselves out there and what they're all about.

So this is something you can play with where when you talk to different people,

You can just mention whatever you're into.

So I'm into tea,

So I'll probably bring that up sometime during the conversation.

Hey,

I'm into tea.

I'm into meditation.

I like making YouTube videos.

And it's not like something where I'm bragging,

But I'm just mentioning what I'm interested in.

So you can find a point in the convo where you can bring that up.

Now,

When you're able to share things about yourself and also talk to everyone in a calm,

Cool,

Collected way without trying,

What happens is actually people start to chase you.

And that's an interesting dynamic you'll start to see as an introvert is that you become the anchor of the conversation and people will come to you because you're not reacting or needing anything from them.

So this is a very powerful thing.

And actually,

You can embrace more of your introvert itself.

And that'll actually encourage you to do that.

Because when you do start to sit back,

People start to come to you more often.

And you don't have to try as hard compared to an extrovert.

Now,

The next tip to take on is to say yes to social opportunity.

And what you want to train yourself to do here is to see the upside of things rather than look at the downsides.

So many introverts see the downsides of potential opportunities.

They'll say,

Okay,

This event sounds cool,

But do I really want to get ready for this?

Do I really want to drive 20 minutes and look for parking and then do that?

And they just see the downside of everything.

And in order to have a really great social life,

You want to see opportunities everywhere and see the upside of things.

So what could go right with things rather than what could go wrong?

So an example of some upsides could be maybe if I go to this,

I could make new friends or I could learn something new.

Or at the very least,

I push myself outside of my comfort zone and I left my house,

Which I haven't left in days.

So I can't tell you the amount of times where I went to different social events.

It doesn't have to be something big,

But even just a yoga class out in public where I put myself out there in a public place and I just left my house and my night just ended up being amazing.

Or I just made new friends or I made a connection or a business acquaintance.

And the mindset to go into this is think of what adventure could await you and what story you can create,

Because you don't create many stories just sitting at home watching TV all the time,

But rather you create these adventures through just leaving your house and exploring to see what else is new.

So again,

You have to train yourself to look at the upside of things rather than downside or what could go wrong.

And by training your mindset,

You can actually see your life change in a lot of different ways you wouldn't even expect.

So those are three tips.

So I hope you like these three tips on improving your social life as an introvert.

So what are these three tips you can actually take from extroverts to improve your life?

Well,

The first is to talk to everyone throughout your day.

So just generating that social momentum where you talk to everyone and that tells your brain it's okay to socialize and nothing wrong is going to happen.

And you also build that practice muscle of simply talking to everyone,

Getting used to being more social.

The second tip is to be yourself and also not to put on a character.

So when you're able to talk to everyone and also you're not trying too hard and you're just simply being you,

You actually get a lot of positive responses and people trying to chase you because you're that cool person,

Talk to everyone and not trying.

And you can actually sit back and watch that happen.

And the third tip is to say yes to social opportunities more.

So when you do this,

You're seeing the upside of things rather than coming up with excuses or seeing the downside.

So you're actually playing to win rather than playing not to lose.

And you'll find your life change and new opportunities arise out of nowhere that you wouldn't have imagined otherwise.

So I hope you found this helpful.

Reviews

Helpful!!

Yes very helpful, thank you 🙏

Thank you for this, this had me laughing because I have always seen myself as introverted but I am in fact very people oriented & will talk to anyone, say hello to strangers on walks etc. It probably has more to say about how I feel internally, rather than external behaviour. Having said that I had worked in the medical field for years. 😊🙏🏾

Well done, clear concise steps, thank you Ishar!🕊️🌺🕊️

Very helpful, especially the part about looking at the upside of social opportunities. Too often I plan to take part in a social event and then talk myself out of it. I need to focus more on the potential benefits of each opportunity.

Great info. Thank you!😊

It is helpful! Thank you from an introvert :)